Fic: What is Accident but Misnamed Fate? (Part 8)
Title: What is Accident but Misnamed Fate?
Author: robliz
Fandom: Glee
Characters/Pairing: Finn/Will with brief mentions of Will/Emma, Finn/Quinn and Finn/Rachel
Word Count: 1800 for part 8 (15400 overall)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Finn keeps turning up on Will's doorstep.
Spoilers: Up to 2x10 but only minor ones from season 2
Warnings: Teacher/student.
Author's Notes: Written for the gleebigbang . My first big bang so please be nice!
Part 7
And so they carried on as normal, or as normal as it is possible to do in that situation. Finn managed to stay away from Mr Schue’s house for the rest of the vacation although he could regularly be found sat on swings in a park just around the corner gently swinging back and forth singing softly to himself. He managed to start a strange little relationship with Rachel because he was bored and he figured that if he couldn’t have Mr Schue then he might as well have Rachel. She could be fun after all and it was much nicer going to the cinema or bowling with her than by himself. Plus, if he closed his eyes while he was kissing her, he could almost imagine it was Mr Schue and that was definitely better than nothing.
When school started again Finn found that being around Mr Schue was easier than he had imagined it to be. Of course it was still very difficult at times, particularly in glee club if Mr Schue decided to show off his dance moves again. But that was what drum kits were for, hiding behind so as not to embarrass yourself, your girlfriend or your teacher with the inappropriate bulge in his pants. When Mr Schue wasn’t around it was fine. He got on with his school work and spent time with Rachel and generally tried to keep himself busy. Gradually the longing feeling he got in the pit of his stomach every time he saw Mr Schue began to dissipate. The feelings were still there but they didn’t seem as overpowering as before. He watched Mr Schue try again and again to impress Miss Pillsbury unsure whether to be really jealous or whether to be happy that Will was happy. Not that Will seemed to actually be happy. He seemed to be caught up in Miss Pillsbury and she barely seemed to glance at him anymore.
Finn’s new found friendship with Sam also helped. Finn actually felt comfortable enough with his sexuality to admit, although only to himself, that he had felt an attraction to Sam to begin with. Watching Sam watching him during glee club’s performance of Empire State of Mind, Finn almost forgot all about Will and Rachel and let himself dream of a simple life with Sam by his side. While he may have felt much more comfortable with having feeling for Sam than he ever felt with his feeling for Mr Schue, he was nowhere near ready to tell other people yet. Instead he just enjoyed the friendship with no expectations of it going any further. It was nice to have a friend anyway. It had been a good few months since he had had what could properly be called a best friend since he fell out with Puck. He might be speaking to Puck now but they didn’t really have a proper friendship anymore. It took a while to create a solid friendship with Sam but once they were both back on the football team where they belonged things got a lot easier. Acknowledgements in the locker room developed into conversations in the corridors and then onto playing basketball together at the weekends. The Quinn thing threatened to destroy the blossoming friendship but Finn realised very quickly that he was completely over her and that any remaining feelings for her were purely platonic and more than anything he just wanted her to be happy. Sam seemed to make her happy so he was fine with them being together.
During the Christmas holidays Finn was over at Sam’s house playing computer games. Sam went out to the kitchen and returned with a couple of bottles of beer.
“Want one?”
“Sure, thanks.”
Finn opened the bottle and took a swig. Every time he drank beer, he was reminded of Mr Schue and of what had happened between them that night. He took another swig and tried to concentrate on the computer game instead. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with repressed feelings right now.
Three bottles of beer and four more rounds of Halo later, Finn and Sam were both slumped on the sofa. The alcohol had gone straight to Finn’s head and he had much more confidence than normal. Full of thoughts of Mr Schue and kissing, Finn asked Sam a question he had been wondering about since he first met him.
“Have you ever fancied another man?”
“Huh?”
Sam turned towards him and frowned.
“I mean have you ever felt anything more than friendship for a man?”
“No, not really. Why? Have you?”
Finn wasn’t sure what to say. He wasn’t sure he was ready to confess all to Sam. He’d kind of been hoping that Sam would say that he had fancied another man and then it would be much easier to admit that he had too. Sam wouldn’t judge him though, Finn was pretty certain of that what with the way he stood up for Kurt.
“Yeah.”
“Really! Who? Not Kurt?”
“No not Kurt although I think Kurt would be very disappointed to hear that.”
“Who then? Have you told him? Is he gay?”
“I told him and then I kissed him. He let me kiss him but then he pushed me away. I don’t know whether he is gay or not. I don’t know whether I am gay or not.”
“Well that’s easy to figure out. Do you fancy girls?”
“Yeah, sometimes.”
“Do you fancy boys?”
“Yeah.”
“Then it sounds like you are bisexual, Finn.”
“Bisexual?”
“Yeah, you know, you like both girls and boys.”
“OK. Yeah. I’m bisexual.”
“So are you going to tell me who this mysterious guy is then?”
Finn blushed.
“I shouldn’t. He wouldn’t want me to.”
“OK but is he hot?”
“Oh yes,” Finn said laughing, “He is definitely hot!”
Will was not coping so well with the fallout from the forbidden relationship. He had no friends to lean on and nowhere to hide since Emma had ended up with Carl. Emma was acting weird around him as though she thought that he was struggling purely because he was consumed with love for her. It wasn’t true though. Sure, he fancied Emma, but she wasn’t the person whose voice echoed around his head all day and whose face he saw every time he closed his eyes. There was no way he could tell her any of this though. His feelings were wrong and illegal. He couldn’t tell anyone about it and anyway, no one asked.
Glee club became awkward and a chore rather than the joy it used to be. He regularly found himself staring at Finn and had to force himself to look away. He couldn’t bear to be in the same room as Finn because he had to concentrate so hard not to run up to him, take him into his arms and kiss him. Somehow, Will was never sure how, he managed to keep it together and he never did do anything stupid with Finn. He did however do many other stupid things in the next few months. He chased Emma unrelentingly even after she got married to Carl. He slept with his ex wife even though he knew he didn’t love her anymore and that it would just cause more upset and pain for both of them. He even, in a moment of complete madness, considered seducing Sue. Every time he did something stupid he knew he was just desperate for company. Loneliness had become his constant friend.
In the end it was Shannon Beiste that pulled Will out of the spiral of self destruction. She was there for him as a friend and only as a friend. She was there when Sue wound him up and when Figgins cut his funding. She was there when the pressure of the job and helping the kids got too much. She didn’t even need to say anything most of the time. Most of the time she just grabbed his coat and announced that they were going bowling to take his mind off everything. Or she would drop by his house with a six pack and they would watch trashy TV until they couldn't take it any more. But she would also listen to Will’s problems and try to give him advice. He told her all about Emma and how he wasn’t sure he wanted her or whether he just wanted the idea of her or whether he only wanted her because she was out of his reach. He told her about Terri and how he had loved her once but that he couldn’t do it anymore. In a drunken moment of madness one evening, after he had been subjected to Finn and Rachel’s latest fight and make up session during glee club, he had blurted out that he had feeling for a student. Shannon had looked at him in a weird way but let him continue.
“I can’t help it, I’ve tried to suppress them but they won’t go away. And I have to watch them every day knowing that I can never have them. I feel so guilty for feeling this way about them. It’s so wrong, so very wrong. I feel like I’m such a bad person.”
Will’s face was streaked with tears.
“Come on Will, everybody has feeling for students at some point. I mean they are approaching their peak attractiveness and our biology and hormones dictate that we fall for them sometimes. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person. A bad person would act on these feeling and you would never do that.”
Will’s tears increased and he looked away.
“Oh. You did. What happened?”
“He kissed me and I didn’t pull away straight away.”
“Wait a minute, he?”
Will nodded.
“OK. So this is a crisis of sexuality as well as guilt about this student.”
Will nodded.
“Well I say that he was the one who kissed you and I assume you did push him away eventually?”
“Yeah, and I told him there was no way anything like that could ever happen again.”
“Then you did the right thing Will. Maybe you shouldn’t have got into a situation where something like that could happen but we all make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them. Please don’t beat yourself up over it, Will. You’re too good a teacher to these kids to suffer for one little mistake.”
Shannon rested her hand on Will’s shoulder.
“OK?”
“OK.”
“Do you want to talk about the gay thing?”
“Not really. I’m kind of okay with that now. It’s not like this is the first crush I’ve had on a man before. First one where something has happened but that was mainly because I used to fall for straight men.”
“And this one is definitely not straight.”
“It would appear not.”
Part 9
Author: robliz
Fandom: Glee
Characters/Pairing: Finn/Will with brief mentions of Will/Emma, Finn/Quinn and Finn/Rachel
Word Count: 1800 for part 8 (15400 overall)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Finn keeps turning up on Will's doorstep.
Spoilers: Up to 2x10 but only minor ones from season 2
Warnings: Teacher/student.
Author's Notes: Written for the gleebigbang . My first big bang so please be nice!
Part 7
And so they carried on as normal, or as normal as it is possible to do in that situation. Finn managed to stay away from Mr Schue’s house for the rest of the vacation although he could regularly be found sat on swings in a park just around the corner gently swinging back and forth singing softly to himself. He managed to start a strange little relationship with Rachel because he was bored and he figured that if he couldn’t have Mr Schue then he might as well have Rachel. She could be fun after all and it was much nicer going to the cinema or bowling with her than by himself. Plus, if he closed his eyes while he was kissing her, he could almost imagine it was Mr Schue and that was definitely better than nothing.
When school started again Finn found that being around Mr Schue was easier than he had imagined it to be. Of course it was still very difficult at times, particularly in glee club if Mr Schue decided to show off his dance moves again. But that was what drum kits were for, hiding behind so as not to embarrass yourself, your girlfriend or your teacher with the inappropriate bulge in his pants. When Mr Schue wasn’t around it was fine. He got on with his school work and spent time with Rachel and generally tried to keep himself busy. Gradually the longing feeling he got in the pit of his stomach every time he saw Mr Schue began to dissipate. The feelings were still there but they didn’t seem as overpowering as before. He watched Mr Schue try again and again to impress Miss Pillsbury unsure whether to be really jealous or whether to be happy that Will was happy. Not that Will seemed to actually be happy. He seemed to be caught up in Miss Pillsbury and she barely seemed to glance at him anymore.
Finn’s new found friendship with Sam also helped. Finn actually felt comfortable enough with his sexuality to admit, although only to himself, that he had felt an attraction to Sam to begin with. Watching Sam watching him during glee club’s performance of Empire State of Mind, Finn almost forgot all about Will and Rachel and let himself dream of a simple life with Sam by his side. While he may have felt much more comfortable with having feeling for Sam than he ever felt with his feeling for Mr Schue, he was nowhere near ready to tell other people yet. Instead he just enjoyed the friendship with no expectations of it going any further. It was nice to have a friend anyway. It had been a good few months since he had had what could properly be called a best friend since he fell out with Puck. He might be speaking to Puck now but they didn’t really have a proper friendship anymore. It took a while to create a solid friendship with Sam but once they were both back on the football team where they belonged things got a lot easier. Acknowledgements in the locker room developed into conversations in the corridors and then onto playing basketball together at the weekends. The Quinn thing threatened to destroy the blossoming friendship but Finn realised very quickly that he was completely over her and that any remaining feelings for her were purely platonic and more than anything he just wanted her to be happy. Sam seemed to make her happy so he was fine with them being together.
During the Christmas holidays Finn was over at Sam’s house playing computer games. Sam went out to the kitchen and returned with a couple of bottles of beer.
“Want one?”
“Sure, thanks.”
Finn opened the bottle and took a swig. Every time he drank beer, he was reminded of Mr Schue and of what had happened between them that night. He took another swig and tried to concentrate on the computer game instead. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with repressed feelings right now.
Three bottles of beer and four more rounds of Halo later, Finn and Sam were both slumped on the sofa. The alcohol had gone straight to Finn’s head and he had much more confidence than normal. Full of thoughts of Mr Schue and kissing, Finn asked Sam a question he had been wondering about since he first met him.
“Have you ever fancied another man?”
“Huh?”
Sam turned towards him and frowned.
“I mean have you ever felt anything more than friendship for a man?”
“No, not really. Why? Have you?”
Finn wasn’t sure what to say. He wasn’t sure he was ready to confess all to Sam. He’d kind of been hoping that Sam would say that he had fancied another man and then it would be much easier to admit that he had too. Sam wouldn’t judge him though, Finn was pretty certain of that what with the way he stood up for Kurt.
“Yeah.”
“Really! Who? Not Kurt?”
“No not Kurt although I think Kurt would be very disappointed to hear that.”
“Who then? Have you told him? Is he gay?”
“I told him and then I kissed him. He let me kiss him but then he pushed me away. I don’t know whether he is gay or not. I don’t know whether I am gay or not.”
“Well that’s easy to figure out. Do you fancy girls?”
“Yeah, sometimes.”
“Do you fancy boys?”
“Yeah.”
“Then it sounds like you are bisexual, Finn.”
“Bisexual?”
“Yeah, you know, you like both girls and boys.”
“OK. Yeah. I’m bisexual.”
“So are you going to tell me who this mysterious guy is then?”
Finn blushed.
“I shouldn’t. He wouldn’t want me to.”
“OK but is he hot?”
“Oh yes,” Finn said laughing, “He is definitely hot!”
Will was not coping so well with the fallout from the forbidden relationship. He had no friends to lean on and nowhere to hide since Emma had ended up with Carl. Emma was acting weird around him as though she thought that he was struggling purely because he was consumed with love for her. It wasn’t true though. Sure, he fancied Emma, but she wasn’t the person whose voice echoed around his head all day and whose face he saw every time he closed his eyes. There was no way he could tell her any of this though. His feelings were wrong and illegal. He couldn’t tell anyone about it and anyway, no one asked.
Glee club became awkward and a chore rather than the joy it used to be. He regularly found himself staring at Finn and had to force himself to look away. He couldn’t bear to be in the same room as Finn because he had to concentrate so hard not to run up to him, take him into his arms and kiss him. Somehow, Will was never sure how, he managed to keep it together and he never did do anything stupid with Finn. He did however do many other stupid things in the next few months. He chased Emma unrelentingly even after she got married to Carl. He slept with his ex wife even though he knew he didn’t love her anymore and that it would just cause more upset and pain for both of them. He even, in a moment of complete madness, considered seducing Sue. Every time he did something stupid he knew he was just desperate for company. Loneliness had become his constant friend.
In the end it was Shannon Beiste that pulled Will out of the spiral of self destruction. She was there for him as a friend and only as a friend. She was there when Sue wound him up and when Figgins cut his funding. She was there when the pressure of the job and helping the kids got too much. She didn’t even need to say anything most of the time. Most of the time she just grabbed his coat and announced that they were going bowling to take his mind off everything. Or she would drop by his house with a six pack and they would watch trashy TV until they couldn't take it any more. But she would also listen to Will’s problems and try to give him advice. He told her all about Emma and how he wasn’t sure he wanted her or whether he just wanted the idea of her or whether he only wanted her because she was out of his reach. He told her about Terri and how he had loved her once but that he couldn’t do it anymore. In a drunken moment of madness one evening, after he had been subjected to Finn and Rachel’s latest fight and make up session during glee club, he had blurted out that he had feeling for a student. Shannon had looked at him in a weird way but let him continue.
“I can’t help it, I’ve tried to suppress them but they won’t go away. And I have to watch them every day knowing that I can never have them. I feel so guilty for feeling this way about them. It’s so wrong, so very wrong. I feel like I’m such a bad person.”
Will’s face was streaked with tears.
“Come on Will, everybody has feeling for students at some point. I mean they are approaching their peak attractiveness and our biology and hormones dictate that we fall for them sometimes. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person. A bad person would act on these feeling and you would never do that.”
Will’s tears increased and he looked away.
“Oh. You did. What happened?”
“He kissed me and I didn’t pull away straight away.”
“Wait a minute, he?”
Will nodded.
“OK. So this is a crisis of sexuality as well as guilt about this student.”
Will nodded.
“Well I say that he was the one who kissed you and I assume you did push him away eventually?”
“Yeah, and I told him there was no way anything like that could ever happen again.”
“Then you did the right thing Will. Maybe you shouldn’t have got into a situation where something like that could happen but we all make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them. Please don’t beat yourself up over it, Will. You’re too good a teacher to these kids to suffer for one little mistake.”
Shannon rested her hand on Will’s shoulder.
“OK?”
“OK.”
“Do you want to talk about the gay thing?”
“Not really. I’m kind of okay with that now. It’s not like this is the first crush I’ve had on a man before. First one where something has happened but that was mainly because I used to fall for straight men.”
“And this one is definitely not straight.”
“It would appear not.”
Part 9