Preparations
I've been making fewer posts. Either it's because I've had less time or I'm being careful about what I disclose. Technically non of my students are supposed to know I am leaving until 2 weeks (or a month?) before and, while it's unlikely, it's possible one or two might find/read this. I hate having to lie when they ask me if I'm being transfered to
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as far as moving back to the states: you'll know what's right when the time comes. I now know I may never live in Oregon again. square peg in oval hole type of thing.
a friend once wrote me a fantastic letter when I left Japan for the first time at 17 and was very worried about returning to the states. I was very worried about many of the same things you mention. We were stupid teenage exchange students in the same little Japanese town.
he said, to paraphrase:
the plane you are taking is literally traveling back in time, but don't, under any circumstances let it take you anywhere but the future. Going back doesn't have to mean falling asleep again.
He's back in Canada, after returning Japan to teach and then Korea and then traveling the long way, all overland around the world. He's now making amazing art like this
http://www.exitnotebook.com/index.php?itemid=231
(though I think it's best without the voice acting)
and for me, I went through extremely rough culture shock returning from Japan at 17. it will be rocky for a while. but when you resurface, you'll know what's important and have more courage than you knew was possible. those lessons brought me to my "herethisnow" which is pretty damn cool.
take a deep breath and believe that you'll be ok and you will.
hugs.
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