(no subject)
I went to karaoke today (Sunday) with Gregory, his friend Richard and Richard's friend Dan (both of whom have flippin amazing voices). Then Greg and I went to Ueno to find me a cowboy hat (no cigar) then to Akihabara. In Ueno, we walked (forever) to the next station, only to discover that we had made a grievous mistake and that the hats were the other way. But anyway...
I haven't outright mentioned this on LJ yet, but Gregory and I are back together. Yes, for the 4th time.
Things are much, much better this time. It's like we had to hit rock bottom in order to claw our way out and, once to the surface, redirect our path so as not to fall in that hole again.
We haven't really talked about the issues we had because that was part of the lesson. I had brought things up before (during try #3) because I didn't trust that things would get better--I didn't trust him. (Maybe I also didn't trust myself?) This was self-defeating, just as insecurity engenders lack of attraction.
And I had been so worried about how he felt before that I blinded myself to all the ways he shows me.
It's true, we communicate differently, but that doesn't mean we're incompatible. He is a man of action, where I use words. Today especially I'd been telling him things (e.g. how fond I am of him) and at one point I asked him Have I been using words too much [to show my feelings]? (In the past he said he didn't trust words and thought they were meaningless.) He said No, it's how you express yourself. I understand that.
That described everything that is now going right between us. We're starting to understand each other's love languages. I'm picking up on his acts of service and recognizing them for what they are: signs that he cares. Of course, he's pointed them out to me (e.g. "You know why I'm massaging your hands? Because I care."). At first I thought this was funny, but then I realized he was just making sure I was getting it. He said it goofily because he's not big on words, but the fact is, he put it into words anyway. It's like this conduit for translation that he's built.
Anyway, I couldn't be happier about it.
I haven't outright mentioned this on LJ yet, but Gregory and I are back together. Yes, for the 4th time.
Things are much, much better this time. It's like we had to hit rock bottom in order to claw our way out and, once to the surface, redirect our path so as not to fall in that hole again.
We haven't really talked about the issues we had because that was part of the lesson. I had brought things up before (during try #3) because I didn't trust that things would get better--I didn't trust him. (Maybe I also didn't trust myself?) This was self-defeating, just as insecurity engenders lack of attraction.
And I had been so worried about how he felt before that I blinded myself to all the ways he shows me.
It's true, we communicate differently, but that doesn't mean we're incompatible. He is a man of action, where I use words. Today especially I'd been telling him things (e.g. how fond I am of him) and at one point I asked him Have I been using words too much [to show my feelings]? (In the past he said he didn't trust words and thought they were meaningless.) He said No, it's how you express yourself. I understand that.
That described everything that is now going right between us. We're starting to understand each other's love languages. I'm picking up on his acts of service and recognizing them for what they are: signs that he cares. Of course, he's pointed them out to me (e.g. "You know why I'm massaging your hands? Because I care."). At first I thought this was funny, but then I realized he was just making sure I was getting it. He said it goofily because he's not big on words, but the fact is, he put it into words anyway. It's like this conduit for translation that he's built.
Anyway, I couldn't be happier about it.