My crazy, crazy night
This is a detailed account of the events of Tuesday night/Wenesday morning. Read at your own risk.
I had advanced training on Tuesday and Wednesday. On Tues, a bunch of us went out for drinks. I had 3 beers and was pleasantly drunk and, though many people left, I wanted to keep socializing. I went with my new friends/acquaintances Satchie and Aaron to an izakaya [Japanese bar/restaurant] where we met up with a bunch of other GEOS people. I asked them where I would stay if I missed my train. No one seemed overly concerned, just kind of said I'd "find someplace".
Listening to this was a big mistake.
I missed my train and all the people I liked the most [Satchie and this girl Vash] had left and I couldn't stay with them because they didn't have room. I outright asked everyone "Okay, WHERE am I staying?" Everyone thought it was fine to volunteer each other, but no one was actually saying yes. I realized I was getting screwed.
I had flirted with a straight girl, Rachel, so Aaron kept saying "Oh, you can stay with Racheeeeel," very heavy on the innuendo. At this point I'd like to mention that I had seen her try to steal a bottle of shochu from the place and only gave it back after the waiter insisted [in Japanese] that we had it. (Later, she also referred to their new drinking buddies as "those Jap guys"). My attraction [and respect] for her had gone way down.
When I got up to use the bathroom [or escape, to be more accurate], I heard her call me a lesbian and say how she doesn't like girls, or at least "not her"(me), which was super nice. She told Adam [a nicer, quiet GEOS guy] that I should stay at his place and that she'd hook me up. I came back (they hushed up, whispering "she's back!") and told her flat out "Look, I thought you were attractive at first, but I'm over it. Don't worry."
Aaron and Rachel proceeded to talk about how they had never met "a real lesbian" before [I tried to tell them I wasn't].
I decided to leave [Adam gave me directions to a net cafe] and I walked out [4am?] but then I couldn't find it, panicked, and had to come back. They convinced me to stay for a while, though I still wouldn't drink (I had been sober for hours by this time). I noticed a distinct elevation in the rowdiness as they were standing up and doing shots with people at other tables. They were also having a contest to see who could scream "SUMIMASEN!!!" (excuse me) the loudest.
We finally made it out of the izakaya, but not before Rachel expressed her plan to ditch without paying the bill, before Aaron trampled on my nice shoes, or before Aaron and Rachel both came crashing down in a drunken heap ONTO the table [which had over 20 glasses on it], breaking at least one heavy-duty beer mug and a sake glass.
Luckily they did pay, and they just barely made it into the elevator, just barely made it out, and stumbled up to a cab (which outright refused to take us and drove off) and we finally got in one and made it to the apartment complex. Adam, who lived a few doors down, basically shut the door in my face and so it was down to me, Rachel and Aaron in his apartment.
I borrowed one of his huge sweatshirts while he put on some loud music and started making out with Rachel. My plan was to find a spot to sleep, but his plan was to try to get me to do a threesome.
She had already said that she "would have to be really drunk", which now she was. But now, I was very turned off my her ass-crack, her moral dilutedness, her two-facedness, and now her apparent skankiness. I danced with them for a couple minutes, finding some fun in spinning around a bit, but when it led to Aaron reaching for certain body parts, I decided to call it a night.
Unfortunately it wasn't that easy. Rachel suggested that I move myself up to the loft or go crash at her apartment. I originally wasn't comfortable with the second idea because 1) I would be alone in a near-stranger's apartment and 2) I didn't know where I was, where the station was, and if she didn't come back, I would miss my training the next day. So after some more groping, and after my telling him no, I tried to escape up to the loft.
After Aaron kept trying to get me to "watch" to see if it turned me on (to which I replied that I could watch porn anytime I wanted so no thank you), they managed to forget I was there for a while.
There was lots of moaning, groaning, growling, and roaring. They didn't even try to keep it down (in fact, they might have been screwing against the ladder leading to the loft, which meant that I felt the pounding). Every few minutes, someone would say "is she still up there?" or "where is she?" then Aaron would pop his head up and poke me in the crotch. I tried swatting him away and then grabbed his wrist and said "NO. If you do that again I will fucking kick you in the fucking head." Then he said things like "You're strange" and "Why are you so boring?!" "Are you up there or down here??" (I said "I am SO up here, leave me the fuck alone"). Finally Rachel was like "maybe you should leave her alone. She's freaking out up there."
So he leaves me alone [only because she's distracting him] and then they BLAST Nine Inch Nails's Closer. On repeat. I asked if they could turn it down. He said something rude, somewhat implying that I had no right to tell him what to do or something, and Rachel actually said "You should go to my apartment cause, honey, it's not gonna be quiet here." Which I had gathered from the previous sex-groaning. I tried plugging my ears [they started making noises again and I was afraid to go down or even look] but then I the next opportunity [between songs] I jumped up and said "Fine. Take me to your place."
She took me with a smile on her face and had the nerve to act like she had made a new friend while we were walking over to her side of the building.
I got to sleep at 6:30am and I made it to training on time. Satchie and Vash met up with us and we walked to the station together. I told Satchie about it before the training and she was pretty appalled. Aaron moseyed in sheepishly a bit later and claimed to have no idea as to why I'd be pissed but said I could tell him at lunch. For some reason, he didn't show up to lunch.
That night after the second day of training, we went to a different izakaya. He didn't show up till an hour later--with Rachel. I finally confronted him and gave him the abridged version, finishing with "and that was one of the worst nights of my life, thanks to you and Rachel." He apologized and was rather quiet. I'm not sure if it's because he was faking the apology or because he was too shocked to say much. He seemed to really not know what to say.
When Rachel saw me about to leave she said "Don't leave without saying goodbye!!" which I thought was kind of rich. I said, in my bitchiest, fakest voice, "Oh, I won't".
Vash came up to me and told me that Satchie relayed the story and she apologized SO profusely it was downright cute. She apologized for the dickheadedness of her friends and for not having me stay with her; she said I should've and that she wished...I think Vash could really be a friend.
Brian and his girl Jennifer convinced me to report the incident, which I did. They said that if I did, then if it happens again to a girl in the future, then at least there will be a record and they'll be more likely to believe the girl and that if he gets reprimanded then it might even prevent an actual rape in the future.
I'm actually glad I had this horrible experience. It taught me an extremely valuable lesson [or two].
I can't expect anyone to take care of me if I won't take care of myself.
I will only be helpless if I allow myself to be.
Never stay out all night with people I don't know if I can trust.
I may not have told them to be disrespectful, and I didn't ask to be sexually harassed, but I DID put myself in that situation.
I'm in control of my own decisions, and I have to make them better from now on.
I now feel a little bit older.
I had advanced training on Tuesday and Wednesday. On Tues, a bunch of us went out for drinks. I had 3 beers and was pleasantly drunk and, though many people left, I wanted to keep socializing. I went with my new friends/acquaintances Satchie and Aaron to an izakaya [Japanese bar/restaurant] where we met up with a bunch of other GEOS people. I asked them where I would stay if I missed my train. No one seemed overly concerned, just kind of said I'd "find someplace".
Listening to this was a big mistake.
I missed my train and all the people I liked the most [Satchie and this girl Vash] had left and I couldn't stay with them because they didn't have room. I outright asked everyone "Okay, WHERE am I staying?" Everyone thought it was fine to volunteer each other, but no one was actually saying yes. I realized I was getting screwed.
I had flirted with a straight girl, Rachel, so Aaron kept saying "Oh, you can stay with Racheeeeel," very heavy on the innuendo. At this point I'd like to mention that I had seen her try to steal a bottle of shochu from the place and only gave it back after the waiter insisted [in Japanese] that we had it. (Later, she also referred to their new drinking buddies as "those Jap guys"). My attraction [and respect] for her had gone way down.
When I got up to use the bathroom [or escape, to be more accurate], I heard her call me a lesbian and say how she doesn't like girls, or at least "not her"(me), which was super nice. She told Adam [a nicer, quiet GEOS guy] that I should stay at his place and that she'd hook me up. I came back (they hushed up, whispering "she's back!") and told her flat out "Look, I thought you were attractive at first, but I'm over it. Don't worry."
Aaron and Rachel proceeded to talk about how they had never met "a real lesbian" before [I tried to tell them I wasn't].
I decided to leave [Adam gave me directions to a net cafe] and I walked out [4am?] but then I couldn't find it, panicked, and had to come back. They convinced me to stay for a while, though I still wouldn't drink (I had been sober for hours by this time). I noticed a distinct elevation in the rowdiness as they were standing up and doing shots with people at other tables. They were also having a contest to see who could scream "SUMIMASEN!!!" (excuse me) the loudest.
We finally made it out of the izakaya, but not before Rachel expressed her plan to ditch without paying the bill, before Aaron trampled on my nice shoes, or before Aaron and Rachel both came crashing down in a drunken heap ONTO the table [which had over 20 glasses on it], breaking at least one heavy-duty beer mug and a sake glass.
Luckily they did pay, and they just barely made it into the elevator, just barely made it out, and stumbled up to a cab (which outright refused to take us and drove off) and we finally got in one and made it to the apartment complex. Adam, who lived a few doors down, basically shut the door in my face and so it was down to me, Rachel and Aaron in his apartment.
I borrowed one of his huge sweatshirts while he put on some loud music and started making out with Rachel. My plan was to find a spot to sleep, but his plan was to try to get me to do a threesome.
She had already said that she "would have to be really drunk", which now she was. But now, I was very turned off my her ass-crack, her moral dilutedness, her two-facedness, and now her apparent skankiness. I danced with them for a couple minutes, finding some fun in spinning around a bit, but when it led to Aaron reaching for certain body parts, I decided to call it a night.
Unfortunately it wasn't that easy. Rachel suggested that I move myself up to the loft or go crash at her apartment. I originally wasn't comfortable with the second idea because 1) I would be alone in a near-stranger's apartment and 2) I didn't know where I was, where the station was, and if she didn't come back, I would miss my training the next day. So after some more groping, and after my telling him no, I tried to escape up to the loft.
After Aaron kept trying to get me to "watch" to see if it turned me on (to which I replied that I could watch porn anytime I wanted so no thank you), they managed to forget I was there for a while.
There was lots of moaning, groaning, growling, and roaring. They didn't even try to keep it down (in fact, they might have been screwing against the ladder leading to the loft, which meant that I felt the pounding). Every few minutes, someone would say "is she still up there?" or "where is she?" then Aaron would pop his head up and poke me in the crotch. I tried swatting him away and then grabbed his wrist and said "NO. If you do that again I will fucking kick you in the fucking head." Then he said things like "You're strange" and "Why are you so boring?!" "Are you up there or down here??" (I said "I am SO up here, leave me the fuck alone"). Finally Rachel was like "maybe you should leave her alone. She's freaking out up there."
So he leaves me alone [only because she's distracting him] and then they BLAST Nine Inch Nails's Closer. On repeat. I asked if they could turn it down. He said something rude, somewhat implying that I had no right to tell him what to do or something, and Rachel actually said "You should go to my apartment cause, honey, it's not gonna be quiet here." Which I had gathered from the previous sex-groaning. I tried plugging my ears [they started making noises again and I was afraid to go down or even look] but then I the next opportunity [between songs] I jumped up and said "Fine. Take me to your place."
She took me with a smile on her face and had the nerve to act like she had made a new friend while we were walking over to her side of the building.
I got to sleep at 6:30am and I made it to training on time. Satchie and Vash met up with us and we walked to the station together. I told Satchie about it before the training and she was pretty appalled. Aaron moseyed in sheepishly a bit later and claimed to have no idea as to why I'd be pissed but said I could tell him at lunch. For some reason, he didn't show up to lunch.
That night after the second day of training, we went to a different izakaya. He didn't show up till an hour later--with Rachel. I finally confronted him and gave him the abridged version, finishing with "and that was one of the worst nights of my life, thanks to you and Rachel." He apologized and was rather quiet. I'm not sure if it's because he was faking the apology or because he was too shocked to say much. He seemed to really not know what to say.
When Rachel saw me about to leave she said "Don't leave without saying goodbye!!" which I thought was kind of rich. I said, in my bitchiest, fakest voice, "Oh, I won't".
Vash came up to me and told me that Satchie relayed the story and she apologized SO profusely it was downright cute. She apologized for the dickheadedness of her friends and for not having me stay with her; she said I should've and that she wished...I think Vash could really be a friend.
Brian and his girl Jennifer convinced me to report the incident, which I did. They said that if I did, then if it happens again to a girl in the future, then at least there will be a record and they'll be more likely to believe the girl and that if he gets reprimanded then it might even prevent an actual rape in the future.
I'm actually glad I had this horrible experience. It taught me an extremely valuable lesson [or two].
I can't expect anyone to take care of me if I won't take care of myself.
I will only be helpless if I allow myself to be.
Never stay out all night with people I don't know if I can trust.
I may not have told them to be disrespectful, and I didn't ask to be sexually harassed, but I DID put myself in that situation.
I'm in control of my own decisions, and I have to make them better from now on.
I now feel a little bit older.
- I don't know where in this entry to put this, but I want to mention the plethora of thoughts and feelings I had during this bizarre experience.
First they treated me like I wasn't attractive enough, then, because I "swing that way" it meant that I was sexually accessible, if not just plain convenient. Then I was strange and boring because I didn't join in, but tell me if you disagree: The moral framework of a drunk person is such that, if you do stupid things, like say, an orgy, it's okay because everyone else was drunk. But what if one person wasn't? How would the newly sobered participants feel about that one? What would they have thought of me had I joined in when I was totally sober?
There were also these two fears as I was huddled again the wall in the loft:
1. As she goes to the bathroom, he's going to have no distraction and come up and try to rape me.
2. He's going to try to rape her [though she was willing], he'll accidentally kill her, and I'll be the sole witness.
Luckily none of this happened.
That's all.