sick, but slick
I'm still sick. Now I'm nauseous from forcing my abs to aid my unceasing coughing. Fucking ridiculous. Did staying out all night on Sunday/Monday really screw with my body that much?
I've been researching how men attract women with the "Bad Boy" effect. I'm wondering if women can pull that too. The "I'm cool enough to not care" thing. I guess playing hard to get works with any gender. Sometimes I'm ridiculously bad at it, and other times, when I don't know if I want someone, I have it mastered. So I guess I should just not want anyone too much, and I'll have it all. Oh man...I've done that before. It ended badly though. Can I stay in control this time? Control of myself I mean.
Last time I had many choices I ended up hurting people (Mike, Drew, Andrew). Maybe because I didn't accept that it was okay to play the field. I felt like I was using people and that made it true. If I just don't look at it that way, maybe it'll be fine. It's not like they'll be complaining. (Or maybe it was because we were all friends with each other; oops.)
I would like to keep friends this time.
I need to not be sick like NOW. Teaching has furthered the loss of my voice. I'm a low tenor now, but at the age of 13, if you can imagine that. Hurts in my chest, throat, head, but mostly stomach.
On a musical note [no pun intended], I no longer feel that vacuum that comes from not doing what you love. My friend John has offered to play bass for me too. I might actually be building up a band!
Wish me luck on equipment sales and recovery from this monster of a sickness. And also luck in love, or not falling in it. Whichever happens. I think I'll be waiting to see what happens with Greg for a while. Which is nice.
over&out
I've been researching how men attract women with the "Bad Boy" effect. I'm wondering if women can pull that too. The "I'm cool enough to not care" thing. I guess playing hard to get works with any gender. Sometimes I'm ridiculously bad at it, and other times, when I don't know if I want someone, I have it mastered. So I guess I should just not want anyone too much, and I'll have it all. Oh man...I've done that before. It ended badly though. Can I stay in control this time? Control of myself I mean.
Last time I had many choices I ended up hurting people (Mike, Drew, Andrew). Maybe because I didn't accept that it was okay to play the field. I felt like I was using people and that made it true. If I just don't look at it that way, maybe it'll be fine. It's not like they'll be complaining. (Or maybe it was because we were all friends with each other; oops.)
I would like to keep friends this time.
I need to not be sick like NOW. Teaching has furthered the loss of my voice. I'm a low tenor now, but at the age of 13, if you can imagine that. Hurts in my chest, throat, head, but mostly stomach.
On a musical note [no pun intended], I no longer feel that vacuum that comes from not doing what you love. My friend John has offered to play bass for me too. I might actually be building up a band!
Wish me luck on equipment sales and recovery from this monster of a sickness. And also luck in love, or not falling in it. Whichever happens. I think I'll be waiting to see what happens with Greg for a while. Which is nice.
over&out