The world is looking dim
I'm feeling a little disillusioned with the world. A news story about a 15-year-old beggar boy (in Singapore!) who jumped or fell to his death in Ang Mo Kio had something to do with it. Watching the Dark Knight had something to do with it, although more for the themes that it brings out and Heath Ledger's performance than for it being a great film, which I'm not sure it is. A couple of issues in my family life have something to do with it. Being alone and not being sure that I want to be has something to do with it. All in all, I'm disenchanted with life in general, and in a few of its particulars. It's nothing new. I've been feeling this way, on and off, for practically all my life now. I'm not going to do anything about it. I don't think there is anything to do about it. I guess I'll just ride it out like I always have until something comes along and lifts me out of this mood. And something almost always comes along. A piece of music, a new romance, a journey, a good party, a good fuck. Anything.
I think about the times when I partied so hard for days on end that when I finally get home, all I want to do is to fall into bed and sleep forever. Maybe I haven't been partying hard enough. All I want to do these days is stay at home alone and do nothing. Nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could. Being alive. Want something, Robin. WANT something!
I dreamed of my mom last night, being reunited with her and waiting to take a bus back home with her.
I think about the times when I partied so hard for days on end that when I finally get home, all I want to do is to fall into bed and sleep forever. Maybe I haven't been partying hard enough. All I want to do these days is stay at home alone and do nothing. Nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could. Being alive. Want something, Robin. WANT something!
I dreamed of my mom last night, being reunited with her and waiting to take a bus back home with her.