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[robin_sparkles]

Robin had woken up in the morning with a new look on life. It was so happy and so perfect and so everything that she couldn't even explain (rainbows, joy, peace and love) and she couldn't find a single thing wrong with it. Especially seeing as she could just prop herself up on one arm and stare down at Barney

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[hey_high_five]

Barney was in the middle of a kick-ass dream where he was getting his hair cut by velicoraptors while Tyra Banks gave him a pedicure. She was right. He totally needed a signature walk. But not too much hip, yeah, and then-

"Mmmm?" It took him a moment of grumbling before he managed coherent sound. "Whas'up?"

He opened his eyes to find her positively looming over him. Staring. "Way to make the morning a bit creepy, Robin."

[robin_sparkles]

Robin smiled sweetly and eased herself atop him, drawing little circles on his chest as they lay there. "I just wanted to talk to you. I love waking up with you," she said fondly, pressing her ear against his chest where she could hear his heart beating away.

[hey_high_five]

Barney could tell, distantly, that there was something off about this. Robin was a lot of things but sugary sweet she was never and doubly so in the mornings.

Still, adoring hot girl on top of him while he was just waking up. Not a bad place to be.

"Talk away."

[robin_sparkles]

Robin beamed at that, curling up with Barney and pressing her cheek to his chest as she stared at the ceiling. "Well," she announced. "First, I was thinking about us and that it's been so nice. I mean, you're just the best guy in the world. We really should think about our future some more. And! We can talk about kids!" she added, eyes bright.

[hey_high_five]

His eyes widened at her and then tried to slowly, slowly back away. Being as this was on the bed and she was on top of him, that didn't get them too far. The crazy-hot scale was shifting as she spoke.

"This is...weird," he said as he looked up at her. But then he couldn't resist trying to see how far she'd take this. "Tell me more this."

[robin_sparkles]

Robin was idly tracing small circles there, her gaze on the ceiling. "I just can't stop thinking about our future," she said dreamily. "About you and me. We can get married and have kids...maybe two of them, and then we can get married and grow old together. After all, you are my Barnacle and I'll stay good and stuck to you!" she promised, pinching at his cheek as she kissed him on the lips.

[hey_high_five]

If she hadn't been laying on top of him, he would have bolted. Maybe she was joking but better safe than sorry when futures involving children are concerned. Safe meant at least 500 feet away and a paternity test.

Plus, you know, it was Robin. He had managed to stick around for that miserable week of possible baby-daddyhood, so there was no need to shove her off him and run naked into the trees.

He let out a little laugh between the squeezed cheeks then pulled back enough to ask. "What happened to the badass independent no-kids, no-marriage Scherbatsky?"

[robin_sparkles]

Robin smiled and laughed as she bit her lip, knowing that okay, maybe that was coming on a little strong. "Yeah, but I know you, Barney. And I want my future to be you. And...and, god, Barney. I just think that you and I shouldn't just stop at this. There's so much we could be awesome at together. Think of us as the most awesome of married couples. We'd kick everyone else's ass. We could have marital laser tag tournaments and his and her cigars!"

Her eyes were brightly lit up. "And come on. A Stinson-Scherbatsky child? Do I even need to say it?"

[hey_high_five]

"I'm not saying the awesome level wouldn't reach mutant strength," he allowed. A Stinson-Scherbatsky baby would probably shoot lava out of his hands made of pure, unadulterated coolness.

He reached his hands up to smooth through her hair with affection even as he checked her expertly for crazy eyes. There was definitely something different there. "But, you know, we can have his and hers cigars without the crushing vice of marriage."

[robin_sparkles]

Robin stared at him worriedly, sliding her palm up and down his hip, caressing his skin with her fingers. "You don't want to be married to me?" she asked worriedly. "I'd be an awesome wife, Barney. I'd cook you really incredible stuff and I'm really flexible in bed and willing to learn new stuff and we could always be together. It'd be you and me, always."

[hey_high_five]

Danger, danger, commitment expected, abort, abort.

He looked up at her for a moment as he tried to work out how to respond. This wasn't just Robin had a dream where she was in a nursery and holding a tiny perfect baby shoe (hey, no shame in that, we'd all been there). This was some hard-core nuptial longing. And from Robin? Problematic.

Barney thought it best to duck the question and lean up to kiss her. "I'm just surprised. This is...an unexpected new Robin I'm seeing this morning."

[robin_sparkles]

"New Robin doesn't have to mean bad Robin," she said, letting her voice drop a little in terms of octave as she straddled his waist and settled in above him. "We could just play it by ear and we could have a little bit of fun and you wouldn't have to worry. We'd just be us and talk about marriage and kids tonight!:"

[hey_high_five]

"Absolutely, we should have fun, yes." Barney seized that like a lifeline and not just because it was Robin offering sex.

Seriously, what else can one do when Robin starts Ted-ing out on you but just try to orgasm her into seeing reason?

He leaned up to kiss her firmly as his hand skimmed along her neck and collar before settling against her chest. "Yeah, let's wing it."

[robin_sparkles]

Robin smiled serenely at him as she slowly wiggled her hips and settled on the bed, a fond look on her face as she stared up at him. "You would be the perfect father," she praised. "You really would, Barney."

[hey_high_five]

From experience with his fake actor son, Barney was pretty sure that wasn't true. Of course, you didn't have to worry about your real son having scheduling conflicts because he's going to audition for a Chuckie Cheese commercial, but the problems were basically the same.

But he just shrugged and kissed her again. "Okay."

Because, come on, real Robin knew that. Weird, baby-mania Robin was just delusional and you don't intentionally piss off the crazy lady.

[robin_sparkles]

Robin beamed giddily against the kiss, wrapping her arms snugly around Barney and trying to keep him in as tight as she could, not wanting to let him get away. "You're the best, Barney," she praised effusively as she wrapped her arms around his, not intending to let go. "We're going to be so happy together, forever and ever."