Why I Love Carrie Kelly, part 1
I don't like Frank Miller. I don't really even like The Dark Knight Returns. Much. Yet Carrie Kelly has been my default icon for, like, ages. Wherefore then do I like her so much?
Actually, I'm not entirely sure. But what's NOT to like about her?
First of all, I apologize for the quality of the scans. This is my first attempt trying to scan from a trade and I've obviously failed pretty miserably. I respect those of you who can actually accomplish it all the more now.
1.) Her HAIR. What the fuck, hair? It's so implausibly 1980's, and it makes me laugh.
2.) She doesn't speak English. She speaks some bizarre slang-speak that consists mainly of the words "figure" and "aces". Makes for a very peculiar read.
3.) Her glasses. More people should wear welding goggles during day-to-day activites. Although one has to wonder about the whole "secret identity" thing, considering she doesn't wear a mask, instead prefering her regular specs.
4.) She's a midget. Seriously.
5.) She's a girl Robin.
6.) She's a girl Robin who doesn't get fired. My next post (assuming I bother) will be dedicated to Carrie's blatant disobedience to Bats, which is really quite strikingly hilarious in that there's a "you wait in the helicopter, don't touch anything or come to help me, or YOU WILL BE FIRED" scene, and she completely disregards. She doesn't get fired, or killed, or captured, or talked down to (maybe if Steph had worn glasses? haha). She saves the day.
7.) She's inexplicably talented. There's a brief "training period" that isn't covered in the story where she supposedly learns how to be Robin, but as far as I can tell her only history is that her parents are stoners, she's good with computers, and her best friend is really tall.
8.) She actually learned something useful in Girl Scouts. I was in Scouts until 8th grade, when I finally got fed up with sitting on the troop leader's carpet three times a week doing absolutely NOTHING. What about crafts, you say? Gluing googly eyes to cotton balls. Stringing beads on bits of thread. Decorating hats. NOTHING. I wanted to go camping, do community service, learn useful survival skills for city and wilderness, take women's self-defense classes, and generally have fun being a kid. NO. That was for the boys, who got to go out and learn to make char cloth and tourniquets, plant trees, and go on canoe trips. But no - not for us girls. Hell, we didn't even get to learn how to cook or sew...we just sat there vegetating and yelling at me to get out from under that tree, I might poke my eye on a branch! We went on ONE "camping" trip the entire nine years I was in Girl Scouts, and we slept in lighted cabins and ate in a mess hall. My troop leader didn't know how to build a fire and wouldn't let me help her, despite knowing full well that I've been building fires to keep warm and to cook by since about the time I could walk. She actually used a pay phone to call a camp ranger to light it for her. I think all I ever got out of Girl Scouts was a few stupid songs stuck in my head and a resentment for incompetent authority. However, this DCU Girl Scouting system is remarkable - it taught Carrie Kelly how to set a broken arm. (Forget superpowers and unbelievable waistlines - of any aspect of the DCU, it is their scouting system I most envy!)
9.) She actually causes Batman to display open affection for her. Granted, it IS Frank Miller, which automatically makes it a little creepy... but still. It's very sweet.
10.) She is a female character created by Frank Miller - and she's not a whore! She's not even attractive if the art is anything to go by. Of course, Carrie is only 13 in this series, so it's a relief that she's not HOLY VOLUPTUOUS. I've only skimmed through The Dark Knight Strikes Again, though, and she's much more, ah, feminine there - she's sixteen, and has evidently abandoned the Robin role to become Catgirl. (Man, given her appearance here and then as Catgirl, her hormones must have been BUSY. I guess some girls really do 'blossom overnight', though, so whatever.)
Once again, I apologize for the shit quality of the scans.
Our first introduction to Carrie is during a problem with Oooh Scary Mutant Slang People. The blurred text in the top right panel says "And I figure I don't mind my notes getting all wet...just like I figure I did do double Study Hall for fun.
Short story made shorter, Batman rescues them. Carrie is infatuated.
...as is made apparent. She spent her lunch money on the costume, which apparently didn't come with a mask. The blurred text is about how Gordon shot a Mutant in self-defense and that one of Carrie's parents was an acid freak and didn't remember the Chicago riots (I figure that's what he's talking about, as I seriously doubt he means the musical).
Nice going.
Get some damn parkour lessons before you start climbing down the side of your building, sweetie.
OH BOY. And HOW.
Hehe. Now that is efficiency. Crime doesn't stand a chance against Carrie Kelly and her minor explosives!
Next, Carrie overhears some Mutants talking about gathering at a dump. She puts the stalking abilities that come with the costume to use and tags along, under the assumption that Batman will show up. She's right.
Batman fights the Mutant leader and is defeated. In his last moments, he thinks of Dick. (I want to use "my little monkey wrench" as a pet name for someone, someday). Carrie distracts the Mutant leader by a desperate launch onto his neck.
Oh good. Utility belt.
Blurred text says "You're lucky I'm always here..."
Nice last words, Bruce.
Carrie gets Batman into a stretcher on the Batmobile, and he explains that it's on a gyroscope. Alfred basically tells Carrie to scram. The blurred text says "I'm Bruce." D'aww.
Later, in the Batcave, Alfred tends to Bruce's wounds, Carrie runs around staring at the old Robin outfit.
This picture is weird in all sorts of ways. First of all, Bruce looks like a statue of Caesar. And he's naked. So yeah. Um, right,
Blurred: "It's the girl, sir."
Back at the arcade. Carrie is set to infiltrate the Mutant gang and tell them to meat at the pipe, and there is much rejoicing in the way of weird slang.
Hahaha, weird.
Also, as proof that Carrie is a total midget, I give you this:
Dude.
Okay. That's all for now. I'm being kicked off the computer.
Actually, I'm not entirely sure. But what's NOT to like about her?
First of all, I apologize for the quality of the scans. This is my first attempt trying to scan from a trade and I've obviously failed pretty miserably. I respect those of you who can actually accomplish it all the more now.
1.) Her HAIR. What the fuck, hair? It's so implausibly 1980's, and it makes me laugh.
2.) She doesn't speak English. She speaks some bizarre slang-speak that consists mainly of the words "figure" and "aces". Makes for a very peculiar read.
3.) Her glasses. More people should wear welding goggles during day-to-day activites. Although one has to wonder about the whole "secret identity" thing, considering she doesn't wear a mask, instead prefering her regular specs.
4.) She's a midget. Seriously.
5.) She's a girl Robin.
6.) She's a girl Robin who doesn't get fired. My next post (assuming I bother) will be dedicated to Carrie's blatant disobedience to Bats, which is really quite strikingly hilarious in that there's a "you wait in the helicopter, don't touch anything or come to help me, or YOU WILL BE FIRED" scene, and she completely disregards. She doesn't get fired, or killed, or captured, or talked down to (maybe if Steph had worn glasses? haha). She saves the day.
7.) She's inexplicably talented. There's a brief "training period" that isn't covered in the story where she supposedly learns how to be Robin, but as far as I can tell her only history is that her parents are stoners, she's good with computers, and her best friend is really tall.
8.) She actually learned something useful in Girl Scouts. I was in Scouts until 8th grade, when I finally got fed up with sitting on the troop leader's carpet three times a week doing absolutely NOTHING. What about crafts, you say? Gluing googly eyes to cotton balls. Stringing beads on bits of thread. Decorating hats. NOTHING. I wanted to go camping, do community service, learn useful survival skills for city and wilderness, take women's self-defense classes, and generally have fun being a kid. NO. That was for the boys, who got to go out and learn to make char cloth and tourniquets, plant trees, and go on canoe trips. But no - not for us girls. Hell, we didn't even get to learn how to cook or sew...we just sat there vegetating and yelling at me to get out from under that tree, I might poke my eye on a branch! We went on ONE "camping" trip the entire nine years I was in Girl Scouts, and we slept in lighted cabins and ate in a mess hall. My troop leader didn't know how to build a fire and wouldn't let me help her, despite knowing full well that I've been building fires to keep warm and to cook by since about the time I could walk. She actually used a pay phone to call a camp ranger to light it for her. I think all I ever got out of Girl Scouts was a few stupid songs stuck in my head and a resentment for incompetent authority. However, this DCU Girl Scouting system is remarkable - it taught Carrie Kelly how to set a broken arm. (Forget superpowers and unbelievable waistlines - of any aspect of the DCU, it is their scouting system I most envy!)
9.) She actually causes Batman to display open affection for her. Granted, it IS Frank Miller, which automatically makes it a little creepy... but still. It's very sweet.
10.) She is a female character created by Frank Miller - and she's not a whore! She's not even attractive if the art is anything to go by. Of course, Carrie is only 13 in this series, so it's a relief that she's not HOLY VOLUPTUOUS. I've only skimmed through The Dark Knight Strikes Again, though, and she's much more, ah, feminine there - she's sixteen, and has evidently abandoned the Robin role to become Catgirl. (Man, given her appearance here and then as Catgirl, her hormones must have been BUSY. I guess some girls really do 'blossom overnight', though, so whatever.)
Once again, I apologize for the shit quality of the scans.
Our first introduction to Carrie is during a problem with Oooh Scary Mutant Slang People. The blurred text in the top right panel says "And I figure I don't mind my notes getting all wet...just like I figure I did do double Study Hall for fun.
Short story made shorter, Batman rescues them. Carrie is infatuated.
...as is made apparent. She spent her lunch money on the costume, which apparently didn't come with a mask. The blurred text is about how Gordon shot a Mutant in self-defense and that one of Carrie's parents was an acid freak and didn't remember the Chicago riots (I figure that's what he's talking about, as I seriously doubt he means the musical).
Nice going.
Get some damn parkour lessons before you start climbing down the side of your building, sweetie.
OH BOY. And HOW.
Hehe. Now that is efficiency. Crime doesn't stand a chance against Carrie Kelly and her minor explosives!
Next, Carrie overhears some Mutants talking about gathering at a dump. She puts the stalking abilities that come with the costume to use and tags along, under the assumption that Batman will show up. She's right.
Batman fights the Mutant leader and is defeated. In his last moments, he thinks of Dick. (I want to use "my little monkey wrench" as a pet name for someone, someday). Carrie distracts the Mutant leader by a desperate launch onto his neck.
Oh good. Utility belt.
Blurred text says "You're lucky I'm always here..."
Nice last words, Bruce.
Carrie gets Batman into a stretcher on the Batmobile, and he explains that it's on a gyroscope. Alfred basically tells Carrie to scram. The blurred text says "I'm Bruce." D'aww.
Later, in the Batcave, Alfred tends to Bruce's wounds, Carrie runs around staring at the old Robin outfit.
This picture is weird in all sorts of ways. First of all, Bruce looks like a statue of Caesar. And he's naked. So yeah. Um, right,
Blurred: "It's the girl, sir."
Back at the arcade. Carrie is set to infiltrate the Mutant gang and tell them to meat at the pipe, and there is much rejoicing in the way of weird slang.
Hahaha, weird.
Also, as proof that Carrie is a total midget, I give you this:
Dude.
Okay. That's all for now. I'm being kicked off the computer.