(no subject)
So its been almost a month since I last posted. Just haven't had anything to post about. Spring break was great, I did nothing but sit around and play Call of Duty 4 and Bioshock. School started back and I just wanted it to end even faster. I am now moving to Chicago in August instead of June, so I will be in Salisbury again, working and saving up money for the move. I am now on the homestretch of Senior year and graduation is ohh so close and so is the visit from her awesomeness herself, Mrs. Holleman, and the most bomb ass party EVER!
But of course this wouldn't be much of an entry if I wasn't talking about something that was on my mind. So I went home on Easter Sunday. I had to go to church with my grandmother to get a free lunch, which was the plus to the whole affair, and heard the lamest sermon ever, which consisted of some wanna be Passion of the Christ History Channel looking video. Plus a picture of Jesus that looked like the Unabomber, so needless to say much of church involved me laughing and making jokes. I know it makes me a demon possessed person but if you saw this picture you would have laughed too. So anyways I went to hang out with a friend after the UNC game and my best friend calls me to tell me some interesting news. Our two friends from high school Joel and Morgan, and he didn't even have to say it cause I knew what he was gonna say, they are now engaged. Ok so first off they started dating last year after talking online for like a week after not really knowing each other in high school all THAT well. But to make a long story short Joel always wanted to go for Morgan but didn't because of our friend Parker, who is getting married in October. Ok so this just fucked with my head a little and of course I felt the need to rant.
Joel is going to Law School at UNC. Morgan is still gonna be at App. State for 2 more years. Parker I never hear from cause the succubus he is with took his soul away and his life with his friends many years ago, 4 years to be exact. So now I have two friends who are engaged. AT 22 FUCKING YEARS OLD!!! Ok so the dumbass rednecks who didn't go to college or the ones that had already knocked up some girl a few weeks before graduation I expected to hear that they were married shortly after high school and I heard of many who were. But I mean for me I just don't get it. You are 22 and in a world where most people are not getting married until their late 20s. And you want to be engaged at 22?!???!? WTF????? I just don't get it. And why do all my friends back home still live in FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL?? Most of them still hang out with the same people or are getting married to the same people we went to school with. I just don't get it. I mean I am happy for them don't get me wrong but I guess I am just too much of a fucking cynic to think that it is a good idea. I just think its stupid. You are 22 go out have a good time, meet some random people at a bar, have fun with your friends, BE FUCKING STUPID AS HELL! Believe me I've done it. I've done some stupid shit but damn it I only get to live once and I do not want to look back at my life and think, geez I wish I had done that, I wish I had not centered my life around some person at the age of 22!!!! And a good friend simply said to me: "You are in a different part of your life than they are". Okay maybe I am. Right now the center of my world is ME! Yea I'm self-centered. So what get over it. I am 21 and I have years ahead of me to change and move my center to some one else but right now its all about me. I mean hey I looked at this in a positive way...at least I get to go to their weddings and it gives me more chances to try and hit on chicks at weddings cause lets not lie girls get all emotional at weddings and its just kinda easy to hit on them. See I am a pathetic, selfish, asshole but I don't care. I just can't imagine why you would ask someone to marry you after dating them for a year when you are 22?!?!?!?! Okay lets not lie I have NEVER dated anyone that long, so sure I don't know. But I just saw Dionne get his heartbroken and he is holding on to an imaginary string of hope thinking Jen is gonna come back to him but she's not, we all know it but no one wants to tell him. So yes call me a negative cynical person but I just don't see either of my friends lasting. I don't know why I just don't. I hope they do I hope they prove the cynic in me wrong. When I look at this in many ways though I think the thing that kind of bugs and maybe is the heart of all of it is that the people that I thought I would always be close to I am no longer close to. It was like 4 years ago I was afraid to leave these people and now its like most of them, besides Coleman, I just don't keep in touch with nor care to. I guess its just odd to move somewhere and meet new people and realize who you are and that the person you tried to hide in high school is someone your friends from home do not like. I am not the same I was when I came here and I am okay with that. I have learned that we must all accept the good and negative parts of ourselves no matter what. I have done that.
I guess my friend was right we are all in different parts of our lives. They are somewhere I can not understand and they can not understand where I am. I am happy for them even though I think its DUMB! But I guess some shitty RAP song I heard on the way back today as I was scanning the radio was right: "I'm gonna do me, you do you." I guess that is what it boils down to. I am me and thats just it, thats all I am gonna do. Even if I think getting engaged at 22 is dumb as a hell. It still just amazes me.
But of course this wouldn't be much of an entry if I wasn't talking about something that was on my mind. So I went home on Easter Sunday. I had to go to church with my grandmother to get a free lunch, which was the plus to the whole affair, and heard the lamest sermon ever, which consisted of some wanna be Passion of the Christ History Channel looking video. Plus a picture of Jesus that looked like the Unabomber, so needless to say much of church involved me laughing and making jokes. I know it makes me a demon possessed person but if you saw this picture you would have laughed too. So anyways I went to hang out with a friend after the UNC game and my best friend calls me to tell me some interesting news. Our two friends from high school Joel and Morgan, and he didn't even have to say it cause I knew what he was gonna say, they are now engaged. Ok so first off they started dating last year after talking online for like a week after not really knowing each other in high school all THAT well. But to make a long story short Joel always wanted to go for Morgan but didn't because of our friend Parker, who is getting married in October. Ok so this just fucked with my head a little and of course I felt the need to rant.
Joel is going to Law School at UNC. Morgan is still gonna be at App. State for 2 more years. Parker I never hear from cause the succubus he is with took his soul away and his life with his friends many years ago, 4 years to be exact. So now I have two friends who are engaged. AT 22 FUCKING YEARS OLD!!! Ok so the dumbass rednecks who didn't go to college or the ones that had already knocked up some girl a few weeks before graduation I expected to hear that they were married shortly after high school and I heard of many who were. But I mean for me I just don't get it. You are 22 and in a world where most people are not getting married until their late 20s. And you want to be engaged at 22?!???!? WTF????? I just don't get it. And why do all my friends back home still live in FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL?? Most of them still hang out with the same people or are getting married to the same people we went to school with. I just don't get it. I mean I am happy for them don't get me wrong but I guess I am just too much of a fucking cynic to think that it is a good idea. I just think its stupid. You are 22 go out have a good time, meet some random people at a bar, have fun with your friends, BE FUCKING STUPID AS HELL! Believe me I've done it. I've done some stupid shit but damn it I only get to live once and I do not want to look back at my life and think, geez I wish I had done that, I wish I had not centered my life around some person at the age of 22!!!! And a good friend simply said to me: "You are in a different part of your life than they are". Okay maybe I am. Right now the center of my world is ME! Yea I'm self-centered. So what get over it. I am 21 and I have years ahead of me to change and move my center to some one else but right now its all about me. I mean hey I looked at this in a positive way...at least I get to go to their weddings and it gives me more chances to try and hit on chicks at weddings cause lets not lie girls get all emotional at weddings and its just kinda easy to hit on them. See I am a pathetic, selfish, asshole but I don't care. I just can't imagine why you would ask someone to marry you after dating them for a year when you are 22?!?!?!?! Okay lets not lie I have NEVER dated anyone that long, so sure I don't know. But I just saw Dionne get his heartbroken and he is holding on to an imaginary string of hope thinking Jen is gonna come back to him but she's not, we all know it but no one wants to tell him. So yes call me a negative cynical person but I just don't see either of my friends lasting. I don't know why I just don't. I hope they do I hope they prove the cynic in me wrong. When I look at this in many ways though I think the thing that kind of bugs and maybe is the heart of all of it is that the people that I thought I would always be close to I am no longer close to. It was like 4 years ago I was afraid to leave these people and now its like most of them, besides Coleman, I just don't keep in touch with nor care to. I guess its just odd to move somewhere and meet new people and realize who you are and that the person you tried to hide in high school is someone your friends from home do not like. I am not the same I was when I came here and I am okay with that. I have learned that we must all accept the good and negative parts of ourselves no matter what. I have done that.
I guess my friend was right we are all in different parts of our lives. They are somewhere I can not understand and they can not understand where I am. I am happy for them even though I think its DUMB! But I guess some shitty RAP song I heard on the way back today as I was scanning the radio was right: "I'm gonna do me, you do you." I guess that is what it boils down to. I am me and thats just it, thats all I am gonna do. Even if I think getting engaged at 22 is dumb as a hell. It still just amazes me.