Wake Up in the Morning Feeling Like...
(Note that I wrote this last week. Two LJ's last week, actually. But the website didn't seem to be working well so I just emailed them to myself and forgot about it. Anyway, here we go!)
Funny how quickly I can stop writing, eh? Man. One day with two posts and then we’re back on the shelf. Truly truly remarkable stuff. I was so sure last time was gonna be the one too. The post that’d start the chain of ‘em. But low and behold, a busy-ish work week, stuff comes up, people call, I answer, bada bing bada boom, and we’re a few weeks past it.
*sigh* But what can you do. I’m here now, right? And it’s not too far away from that post. Too far being relative of course, since generally we talk in years rather than months. Anyways.
I think I may have found the solution to the LJ-writing issue. Yes, you may all roll your eyes now. But here’s the deal. My idea was to try to set aside about a half hour to an hour a day to indulge myself in my creative endeavors. From writing LJ’s, to writing fictions and poems and stuff, to making trading card games, to all that nonsense. A whole lot of nonsense, yes, I know. But one of the things about this co-op process is that I don’t get the necessary pushes to be creative. I’ll probably go back to that later, but anyways, the set an hour aside dealio, that seemed like a good idea, right? Why wouldn’t it work?
But then the issue became finding the hour to set aside. Night seemed like the best option, but when you’re living with a good friend, it can be tough to pull yourself away from “one last show” or “one last game.” It’s funny, bedtime’s always been an issue for me. My mom always said it best, “You just don’t want to miss anything.” Totally true. I didn’t want to go to bed when I was little because I was afraid there was some chunk of fun that I wasn’t going to be thoroughly enjoying. Still the same way. Still afraid I’ll go to bed and I’ll miss a funny TV show, or a great sports ending, or a game with friends, or something. Yep, completely irrational. But how I am. So that’s why the night thing didn’t work.
Next thought? Morning. I’m an awesome waker-upper. Like if there’s one thing I can do better than anyone else, it’s wake up. Haven’t had an ounce of coffee in my life. Energy drinks? For wusses. I’m a one-man energy machine. My alarm clock goes off about once a month. Yup. Once a month. And my internal alarm clock is pretty damn spot on. Like, I should be in a game show or something. Studied even. I’d say four out of seven days I wake up for the first time one minute before the alarm goes off. And I always change the time of the alarm, just something stupid I do. Hate having it set to round numbers, so I’ll set it to 7:03 or 6:58 or 7:12 and such. Still nail it. Really crazy.
But anyway, the thought was I’ll get up an hour earlier, write a LiveJournal, then go to work. Seemed like a reasonable plan, especially as my whole life with high school I was getting up around 6:10 in the morning. Now, I can sleep ‘til eight and make it to work at nine. So I’d split the difference, do seven instead of six, and it’d work great. I’d feel good about myself as I went to work, knowing I already had an hour of creativity in the bag.
Unfortunately, while I’m able to get up for real-life commitments no problem, LiveJournaling wasn’t enough. I’d wake up at the right time, sure. I’d look at the alarm clock. Two minutes ‘til I’d get up and write the LJ. But… but… my bed was so comfy. And I hadn’t written in a year… gimme ten more minutes.
*adjusts the alarm time*
*falls closeish to asleep but not really*
*wakes up two minutes before again*
Screw it.
*pushes alarm an hour back, sleeps for fifty-eight minutes, wakes up feeling shame*
Sooooo yeah. That didn’t work. Tried it for a week. No love.
Finally, I got it. Work’s been slow (frustratingly slow actually, will probably wind up the topic of a journal in the future). I generally wind up with an hour or two where I’m just kicking around, reading internet articles and looking busy. Of course, I feel incredibly guilty whenever someone at work walks behind me and sees me doing that. See, it’s funny, ‘cause I shouldn’t, since they’re the ones giving me work and I’ll go over and ask them if there’s anything to do and look for things to do and come up empty-handed. But regardless, I feel guilty. So then the idea hit me.
I’ll come to work an hour earlier. I can pull off the waking up early if I actually go to work, because I know I’ll get a free hour at the end of the day. And then, for that first hour of the day people generally aren’t here, so I can feel less guilty about being seen. Finally, I can do the writing I want, buy myself an extra hour of the day, and get paid the same! And then people are actually impressed that I’m here early!
So, as you can see, that’s what I’ve done. It’s worked great so far, except I’m admittedly not doing a very good job getting to bed earlier to combat the waking up an hour sooner. Again, still bad at the not wanting to miss anything stuff. But hey, what can you do. I mean I was sick over the weekend, so that should beef up my immune system for the next two years (my standard sickness rate), right?
Anywho, let’s give a lightning round of ideas a shot, shall we? Might set the table for future topics which hopefully will be written faster now that I’ve got this new plan:
-Life-changing events. Had another one recently. I won’t be able to get into detail on it for a few reasons, but I’ve been kind of taking a look at all the things that have gone on in my life of a serious nature. There’s quite a bit, factoring in health of family members, Alex, friends, relationships, and the like. I feel like a very old nineteen-year-old sometimes. Very old. Of course at the same time, I have this huge emphasis on youth and games and get along so well with kids that I often feel the opposite too. Very confuzzling.
-Personal responsibility. Considering the feeling like a very old nineteen-year-old, I feel like I’ve got a lot of responsibility to make something big of my life. But that leads to so many questions… what is big? What is happy? What is making the most of my skills? What skills do I have? What skills are stronger than the others? I guess that’s probably the questions that are going through most college kid’s heads… but boy. It sounds egotistical to say it, but I feel like life has prepared me to handle a lot. And I feel it’d be a really waste for me not to take a lot on. But would I be happy that way? It’s a question I’m even facing for just year. Should I take on responsibilities because I’m capable of taking them on and doing better with them than others? Or should I take on fewer responsibilities, but be happy? Could I be happy with those fewer responsibilities?
-A lot of friends stuff as always. They’re always changing for me. Work’s been rough though, in that I don’t really have any. It’s tough to be in that kind of environment. But I also discover the older you get, the fewer friends you seem to make. That’s how it works with me anyway. I mean, I loved everyone in grade school. Loved plenty of people in high school. In college? Ehhhhh. And now at work, even fewer.
-Where home is. I’ve moved around a lot lately. Most college kids do of course, so I’m certainly not out of the ordinary. But I’m not sure I take it the best. I feel like everyone of my different homes, the one with my parents, college, the one for where I work, has a bunch of different strengths and weaknesses. Dunno what I’m gonna do with them all. My life’s in so much turnover, and that’s normal for someone my age. I mean, I’ll switch my living space probably twice in the next three months, and I see no farther into my life than this coming December. Could work again after that, could do more classes, dunno where I’d work, what field I’ll be in, what home I’ll be living in, where I’ll be. My personality doesn’t do well with that. I thrive on comfort. And I’m in a very uncomfortable point in my life.
-Sports, a little. I wrote that bowling clutchness journal last time… glad I’m over that, haha. What a rough day that was. The next weekend was another step forward with a little step back. But I’m taking steps forward, so that’s key. And it is still fun. I can’t help but want to get into another sport though. You know. An athletic sport. A baseball or something. But I don’t want to play recreationally, I take the games too serious. But I don’t have/want to give the time to commit to something bigger. Sooooooo… I don’t do either. Argh.
I think that’s all I’ve got for today. Workers are starting to come in, so I should probably do actual work. See you tomorrow though? Maybe? ;)
Funny how quickly I can stop writing, eh? Man. One day with two posts and then we’re back on the shelf. Truly truly remarkable stuff. I was so sure last time was gonna be the one too. The post that’d start the chain of ‘em. But low and behold, a busy-ish work week, stuff comes up, people call, I answer, bada bing bada boom, and we’re a few weeks past it.
*sigh* But what can you do. I’m here now, right? And it’s not too far away from that post. Too far being relative of course, since generally we talk in years rather than months. Anyways.
I think I may have found the solution to the LJ-writing issue. Yes, you may all roll your eyes now. But here’s the deal. My idea was to try to set aside about a half hour to an hour a day to indulge myself in my creative endeavors. From writing LJ’s, to writing fictions and poems and stuff, to making trading card games, to all that nonsense. A whole lot of nonsense, yes, I know. But one of the things about this co-op process is that I don’t get the necessary pushes to be creative. I’ll probably go back to that later, but anyways, the set an hour aside dealio, that seemed like a good idea, right? Why wouldn’t it work?
But then the issue became finding the hour to set aside. Night seemed like the best option, but when you’re living with a good friend, it can be tough to pull yourself away from “one last show” or “one last game.” It’s funny, bedtime’s always been an issue for me. My mom always said it best, “You just don’t want to miss anything.” Totally true. I didn’t want to go to bed when I was little because I was afraid there was some chunk of fun that I wasn’t going to be thoroughly enjoying. Still the same way. Still afraid I’ll go to bed and I’ll miss a funny TV show, or a great sports ending, or a game with friends, or something. Yep, completely irrational. But how I am. So that’s why the night thing didn’t work.
Next thought? Morning. I’m an awesome waker-upper. Like if there’s one thing I can do better than anyone else, it’s wake up. Haven’t had an ounce of coffee in my life. Energy drinks? For wusses. I’m a one-man energy machine. My alarm clock goes off about once a month. Yup. Once a month. And my internal alarm clock is pretty damn spot on. Like, I should be in a game show or something. Studied even. I’d say four out of seven days I wake up for the first time one minute before the alarm goes off. And I always change the time of the alarm, just something stupid I do. Hate having it set to round numbers, so I’ll set it to 7:03 or 6:58 or 7:12 and such. Still nail it. Really crazy.
But anyway, the thought was I’ll get up an hour earlier, write a LiveJournal, then go to work. Seemed like a reasonable plan, especially as my whole life with high school I was getting up around 6:10 in the morning. Now, I can sleep ‘til eight and make it to work at nine. So I’d split the difference, do seven instead of six, and it’d work great. I’d feel good about myself as I went to work, knowing I already had an hour of creativity in the bag.
Unfortunately, while I’m able to get up for real-life commitments no problem, LiveJournaling wasn’t enough. I’d wake up at the right time, sure. I’d look at the alarm clock. Two minutes ‘til I’d get up and write the LJ. But… but… my bed was so comfy. And I hadn’t written in a year… gimme ten more minutes.
*adjusts the alarm time*
*falls closeish to asleep but not really*
*wakes up two minutes before again*
Screw it.
*pushes alarm an hour back, sleeps for fifty-eight minutes, wakes up feeling shame*
Sooooo yeah. That didn’t work. Tried it for a week. No love.
Finally, I got it. Work’s been slow (frustratingly slow actually, will probably wind up the topic of a journal in the future). I generally wind up with an hour or two where I’m just kicking around, reading internet articles and looking busy. Of course, I feel incredibly guilty whenever someone at work walks behind me and sees me doing that. See, it’s funny, ‘cause I shouldn’t, since they’re the ones giving me work and I’ll go over and ask them if there’s anything to do and look for things to do and come up empty-handed. But regardless, I feel guilty. So then the idea hit me.
I’ll come to work an hour earlier. I can pull off the waking up early if I actually go to work, because I know I’ll get a free hour at the end of the day. And then, for that first hour of the day people generally aren’t here, so I can feel less guilty about being seen. Finally, I can do the writing I want, buy myself an extra hour of the day, and get paid the same! And then people are actually impressed that I’m here early!
So, as you can see, that’s what I’ve done. It’s worked great so far, except I’m admittedly not doing a very good job getting to bed earlier to combat the waking up an hour sooner. Again, still bad at the not wanting to miss anything stuff. But hey, what can you do. I mean I was sick over the weekend, so that should beef up my immune system for the next two years (my standard sickness rate), right?
Anywho, let’s give a lightning round of ideas a shot, shall we? Might set the table for future topics which hopefully will be written faster now that I’ve got this new plan:
-Life-changing events. Had another one recently. I won’t be able to get into detail on it for a few reasons, but I’ve been kind of taking a look at all the things that have gone on in my life of a serious nature. There’s quite a bit, factoring in health of family members, Alex, friends, relationships, and the like. I feel like a very old nineteen-year-old sometimes. Very old. Of course at the same time, I have this huge emphasis on youth and games and get along so well with kids that I often feel the opposite too. Very confuzzling.
-Personal responsibility. Considering the feeling like a very old nineteen-year-old, I feel like I’ve got a lot of responsibility to make something big of my life. But that leads to so many questions… what is big? What is happy? What is making the most of my skills? What skills do I have? What skills are stronger than the others? I guess that’s probably the questions that are going through most college kid’s heads… but boy. It sounds egotistical to say it, but I feel like life has prepared me to handle a lot. And I feel it’d be a really waste for me not to take a lot on. But would I be happy that way? It’s a question I’m even facing for just year. Should I take on responsibilities because I’m capable of taking them on and doing better with them than others? Or should I take on fewer responsibilities, but be happy? Could I be happy with those fewer responsibilities?
-A lot of friends stuff as always. They’re always changing for me. Work’s been rough though, in that I don’t really have any. It’s tough to be in that kind of environment. But I also discover the older you get, the fewer friends you seem to make. That’s how it works with me anyway. I mean, I loved everyone in grade school. Loved plenty of people in high school. In college? Ehhhhh. And now at work, even fewer.
-Where home is. I’ve moved around a lot lately. Most college kids do of course, so I’m certainly not out of the ordinary. But I’m not sure I take it the best. I feel like everyone of my different homes, the one with my parents, college, the one for where I work, has a bunch of different strengths and weaknesses. Dunno what I’m gonna do with them all. My life’s in so much turnover, and that’s normal for someone my age. I mean, I’ll switch my living space probably twice in the next three months, and I see no farther into my life than this coming December. Could work again after that, could do more classes, dunno where I’d work, what field I’ll be in, what home I’ll be living in, where I’ll be. My personality doesn’t do well with that. I thrive on comfort. And I’m in a very uncomfortable point in my life.
-Sports, a little. I wrote that bowling clutchness journal last time… glad I’m over that, haha. What a rough day that was. The next weekend was another step forward with a little step back. But I’m taking steps forward, so that’s key. And it is still fun. I can’t help but want to get into another sport though. You know. An athletic sport. A baseball or something. But I don’t want to play recreationally, I take the games too serious. But I don’t have/want to give the time to commit to something bigger. Sooooooo… I don’t do either. Argh.
I think that’s all I’ve got for today. Workers are starting to come in, so I should probably do actual work. See you tomorrow though? Maybe? ;)