Canonizing Awesomeness, Part the Second
It wasn't until about 1pm the next that I was able to sufficiently comprehend my surroundings. We had irregularly planned an actual party for Dana for the weekend, and Sunday had been the only acceptable date. So once I roused him around 2:30, we went over to Momo's to grab a keg, which I had wisely remembered to reserve before the previous night's activities. We rolled it over to my backyard, tapped it around 3:00, and with Liz's help, frantically started calling people because, damn it, invitations frankly weren't on the high-priority list.
After I got my sound system set up, I took a look around the area where Dana, Liz, Keg, and I were seated - since my departure, one of my neighbors decided that "yard" was suddenly synonymous with "place to park my two oversized redneck construction company pickup trucks." Since these are modest apartments, this also means that his yard ceases to exist while he's home. So. When he takes his dog out to defecate, naturally the dog is drawn to wide open spaces. What's the only wide open space left? Why, my apartment building's backyard, of course! So my backyard has taken on the appearance of an Ofili exhibit. Completely embarrassing - the shit had to go. But with no shovel or scooper on hand, what would be my best recourse?
My solution was to light the yard on fire.
Yes, out of rage, frustration, and shame for this nastiness, I grabbed a half-full bottle of lamp oil, poured it over the largest concentration of dung, and set it ablaze. Right as this was happening, my sister Ann, Ilana, and various members from a certain bicycle collective started to show up, and like moths immediately began finding ways to stoke the flames. I'll spare the details, but by the end of the night, we had created a bricked-in fire pit, and disposed of a massive branch that had been sitting in the alley for months...
The fire was just the beginning. The kids also discovered a inoperable mini 4-wheeler which my roommate had acquired for some reason. Being mechanical folks, my guests attempted to fix it, and when this failed [since they are also drunk folks], decided to tie it to the back of a truck and tow it in circles around the alley.
Dangerous? Yes.
Irresponsible? Definitely.
Best idea ever? Quite possibly.
There were a couple of spills, but no one was injured, fortunately. We eventually got around to food, which was lavish [thanks to Ilana], and especially great because I didn't have to do any thinking. I was handed a plethora of ground beef, I made a delicious seasoning mix, and we pigged out on hamburgers, watermelon, shish-kabob, and some corn.
I think the best part of the evening was later on once the food had settled, and a bunch of us followed Moped Joe on an inspirational ride around the city. Across the city, down through The Bottom, over the 14th St. Bridge, down a viaduct to an undiscovered access road that ran along the canal, up to Commerce Rd., down Hull St., back over the 14th St. Bridge, and raced westward back to the party. The air was perfect; the ride, uplifting.
After that, the rest of the night sunk into a pleasant blur of food, Pabst, fire, and friends. As the beer melted away, we said goodnight to each other, and said goodbye to summer.
After I got my sound system set up, I took a look around the area where Dana, Liz, Keg, and I were seated - since my departure, one of my neighbors decided that "yard" was suddenly synonymous with "place to park my two oversized redneck construction company pickup trucks." Since these are modest apartments, this also means that his yard ceases to exist while he's home. So. When he takes his dog out to defecate, naturally the dog is drawn to wide open spaces. What's the only wide open space left? Why, my apartment building's backyard, of course! So my backyard has taken on the appearance of an Ofili exhibit. Completely embarrassing - the shit had to go. But with no shovel or scooper on hand, what would be my best recourse?
My solution was to light the yard on fire.
Yes, out of rage, frustration, and shame for this nastiness, I grabbed a half-full bottle of lamp oil, poured it over the largest concentration of dung, and set it ablaze. Right as this was happening, my sister Ann, Ilana, and various members from a certain bicycle collective started to show up, and like moths immediately began finding ways to stoke the flames. I'll spare the details, but by the end of the night, we had created a bricked-in fire pit, and disposed of a massive branch that had been sitting in the alley for months...
The fire was just the beginning. The kids also discovered a inoperable mini 4-wheeler which my roommate had acquired for some reason. Being mechanical folks, my guests attempted to fix it, and when this failed [since they are also drunk folks], decided to tie it to the back of a truck and tow it in circles around the alley.
Dangerous? Yes.
Irresponsible? Definitely.
Best idea ever? Quite possibly.
There were a couple of spills, but no one was injured, fortunately. We eventually got around to food, which was lavish [thanks to Ilana], and especially great because I didn't have to do any thinking. I was handed a plethora of ground beef, I made a delicious seasoning mix, and we pigged out on hamburgers, watermelon, shish-kabob, and some corn.
I think the best part of the evening was later on once the food had settled, and a bunch of us followed Moped Joe on an inspirational ride around the city. Across the city, down through The Bottom, over the 14th St. Bridge, down a viaduct to an undiscovered access road that ran along the canal, up to Commerce Rd., down Hull St., back over the 14th St. Bridge, and raced westward back to the party. The air was perfect; the ride, uplifting.
After that, the rest of the night sunk into a pleasant blur of food, Pabst, fire, and friends. As the beer melted away, we said goodnight to each other, and said goodbye to summer.