Let's Discuss The Perfect Murder.

[robanybody]

re: last week's Human Target. OH MY GOD, GUERRERO. I have never wanted to sex you more. Seriously, where the hell is all the fic where Guerrero has sex with the entire team and kicks ass all over the place and has feeeeeeeelings? I need Guerrero fic like burning

Comments

[robanybody]

"Oh, man," Sam laughs, his fingers clasped loosely around his bottle, "you want to talk about crazy SEAL stories?" He sits up and turns toward Steve, looking relaxed and retired, his aggressively loud Hawai'ian shirt making him fit in with the general population about ten times better than Danny has ever fit in, even though he's been here a year and Sam just flew in from Miami at three this morning. "This one time, me and my SEAL buddies--"

And really, no, just no. Danny has had to put up with a lot of crazy SEAL stories, and crazy SEAL antics, since he's started working with Steve, and he is generally okay with that because Steve is his partner and there are rules about this sort of thing. But nowhere in the rules does it say that he has to put up with crazy SEAL stories from another SEAL who is not Steve. They already did that dance with Nick and it ended up a shoot-out, Steve being a moody, taciturn bastard for a few weeks after, and Danny spending all his free time being hip-deep in spackle and paint as the team helped Steve fix his bullet-riddled house.

Danny is not going through that again.

He holds up his hands, cutting off Sam in the middle of a story involving his team, a jungle, and a prawn-like thing that crawls into your dick if you're stupid enough to be in the water, and there is no way that he wants to know how that story ends. "No," he says firmly, his hands moving in a flat line that says 'stop'. "Stop. Please. I do not want to hear this."

Awww," Sam says, and it's disturbing that a man over fifty can sound like a disappointed nine-year-old with just the right inflection. "But I was getting to the good part."

"No," Danny repeats. "Just, no, look. you can SEAL bond later by jumping off buildings without a parachute and punching out terrorists with your face, but for now," he clasps his hands together in a prayer, "please, mercy. I am begging you, any other topic than what kind of hilarious hijinks SEALs get up to when no one's around to stop them."

He can see Michael's face ease into softer lines, all the humor in his eyes while only the slightest upward tilt of his mouth gives away his amusement. "Yes," he says in that calm, measured tone that gives away nothing, "please, Sam, anything else."

Sam looks disgruntled. Steve looks... on anyone else, it'd be a pout, but because Danny likes his eardrums intact, he classifies it as a 'sulk' instead. "Fine," Sam sighs, finishing off his beer. "Let's talk about this job then. Anyone got the specs on our target?"

Michael and Steve snap to attention, precise and alert just like the military taught them. It's kind of sad how much that gets to Danny, but he's become the master of sublimation by now. "Chin sent me over a copy of his dossier," Steve says, opening up the laptop and clicking through his e-mails till he gets to the file in question.

As they go over the pertinent details, Danny realizes that everything is too quiet, a lull in the movement of the world that makes his hackles stand up on end because this kind of thing always ends with an explosion. "Hey," he interrupts their military huddle with a sharp gesture, "does anyone know where Kono and Fiona are? Last time I saw them, they were comparing weapons and..."

The dawning look of horror on Michael and Steve's faces is enough to make Danny renew his fervent hate for Hawai'i and all its craziness.

[chibirhm]

*SEAL HANDS*

[robanybody]

If I didn't think this would fry my brain, I would seriously consider writing this because the potential for mayhem, explosions, and gunplay is SO HIGH.

[amy_vic]

...FUCK. I have to start watching Burn Notice, now, don't I? Because if this bit of fic is any indication, I need it in my life.

(Also, I am taking a few icons, most notably #32.)

[robanybody]

You really, really, REALLY do. Michael Westen is the best spy since Bond, Sam is the best retired SEAL to ever exist, and Fiona is an ex-IRA gunrunner who is more awesome than Michael, if that's even possible. Add in Michael's mom, Madeleine, his brother, Nate, and the entire conspiracy set in place to keep him burned and in Miami, and YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS SHOW.

Also, everyone is hot and wears skimpy clothing and Jeffrey Donovan walks around in gorgeous suits and there are explosions and gunfights and classic cars.

[rike_tikki_tavi]

Oh man, I came home and there was fic in my inbox! Oh man, oh man, oh man!!! Nobody has ever written fic for me before. *hyperventilates*

This is so fantastic. I can see Sam in one of those horrible shirts (you think he and Chin will bond over those?) leaning back with a nice cold one, ready to spin his yarn. And Danny with the begging and Steve pouting sulking. And those last two paragraphs are absolute GOLD.

I'm grinning from ear to ear here. And I don't want your awesome brain harmed, but if there's a way to get more of this... *is all &hearts _ &hearts*

[rike_tikki_tavi]

Also snagging icon #16 because Kono's grin and Steve's tattoos=Yum.

[robanybody]

I don't know if it'll ever be a real story, but I definitely want to write little scenes of them in Hawai'i, playing cops and spies. I might try it just because I haven't written in a while and it seems like it'd be fun.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it. :D

[rike_tikki_tavi]

Snippets would be wonderful, snippets would be great. I'll just sit here and cheer quietly.

[robanybody]

OH MY GOD, YOU HAVE A BOB ICON. ♥!!!!

[rike_tikki_tavi]

I loved show!Bob. I mean, I love book!Bob, too but I adored show!Bob, in no small way because the guy, who played him, looked like Tim Curry's long lost twin brother.

Sadly I've forgotten how I animated that gif, but it's snaggable if you want.

[robanybody]

Oh, Terrance Mann, I heart you so. He was even in Rocky Horror Picture Show as Dr. Frankenfurter and omg yes, so Tim Curry's twin brother!

I need to watch the show again. I miss Bob in all his incarnations. And thank you for the offer of the icon! ♥

[robanybody]

I... apparently wrote more. *facepalm*

[robanybody]

Sam just wants to tell stories about the old days, Ruby! WHY'S DANNY GOTTA SHUT HIM DOWN LIKE THAT?

Meanwhile, Michael quietly drinks his beer and tries not to pay attention to the way Steve watches him, assessing his threat level the way Michael is doing to him.

[blueocean80]

I knew you'd do this to me. Knew it! *starts downloading Burn Notice* It's not like I have a million other things I want to watch/read and no time to do everything...