My God, You're Like A Living Wrecking Ball.
Every time I talk to Gus about H50, I end up writing something cracked out and ridiculous, and you'd think I'd know better by now, but I clearly never learn. Luckily for me, she was kind enough to edit this madness and took out all my unnecessary adverbs and generally made it a better story. And then I wrote stuff in after she was done and probably undid every good thing she'd accomplished. If you find any mistakes in there, they're all my fault because she's a damn good beta and it's not her fault I don't learn.
For misspamela, who has been having a rough week, a gen story about Steve and Kono being crazy, badass motherfuckers and all the paperwork that entails.
Fit To Print
In his head, Danny writes his report like this:
1. Commander Steve McGarrett is a fucking lunatic who is a clear and present danger to everyone around him, and he should be locked away for the good of the community.
2. Officer Kono Kalakaua is just as bad, despite her rookie status.
See, Danny used to be fairly innocent in all the ways you could theoretically bend the law to achieve your ends. Sure he's intimidated a few suspects, slammed a few heads into tables during his earlier years when he didn't know much, maybe even omitted to follow a few lesser rules of due process. He's not a perfect cop, and it had taken him a few years and a lot of cases, good advice, and actual training to sand down his rougher edges until he turned himself into a pretty decent facsimile of a model cop.
But there's a difference between the few rules he's broken in his eleven years of being a police officer and the entire rulebook that Steve violates on a near constant basis whenever a case comes their way. After eight months of yelling at Steve about "due process, motherfucker, they're not just words I made up," Danny's pretty much made peace with the fact that at some point, someone higher up is going to notice all the crazy shit that Steve does and come down hard on them for blatantly violating every single principle that police procedure holds dear. It's going to happen, there's nothing he can do to change that, and he's going to have to be okay with that. After their last few cases, he's at the Zen point of his rage where he's just too tired to give a shit anymore.
And then Kono gets into the act of being Steve McGarrett's protege, and all of Danny's Zen blows up in a cloud of eye-twitching, apoplectic rage that gets him one step closer to the aneurysm that's been threatening for the past year or so.
The thing that gets him about Kono is that she's really good at hiding her tendencies to do crazy shit while out in the field. Steve's his partner, he's always violating rules right in Danny's face, but Kono is usually with Chin, so Danny doesn't get to see if she does anything even vaguely psychotic when he's not around. Which, probably not. From what Chin's told him, Kono's a good cop with finely honed instincts and a knack for figuring out what doesn't fit in a crime scene and how that ties in to their case. She'd figured out the female assassin angle in the General Pak case, she'd come up with a way to track the stolen money in that jewelry heist case, and she'd nailed the whole Hesse thing while the rest of them were still scratching their heads at his reappearance, and those was just the ones he could think of off the top of his head. She's a good cop who's going to become a great cop once she gets more experience.
But when she gets together with Steve, it's like something out of Danny's nightmare. Suspects get taken down by full-body tackles, money gets "borrowed" from HPD's cold case evidence locker, and somehow, Kono and Steve end up taking off their clothes and diving into water with alarming regularity. And that was on the case. Danny doesn't even want to think about what they get up to in their spare time, whether it's together or apart; he's sure it involves more weaponry and property destruction than he's legally, ethically, and morally comfortable with.
If they keep going on like this, their luck isn't going to hold anymore. At some point, Internal Affairs is sure to start breathing down their necks, and Danny's going to let Steve and Kono loose on the entire fucking department before quitting his job and selling shave ice for a living. Kamekona's already offered to set Danny up with a cart of his own, and Danny considers it every time Kono threatens a suspect's beloved something or Steve pretends that a warrant is some terrible rock band from the '80s that has absolutely nothing to do with their daily police work.
So now Danny has to get used to Steve and Kono being the psychos who tackle suspects like they get points for each one they take down and let people use them for target practice in order to draw out the suspects. He doesn't like it, he is constantly raging against it, but he also has to learn to make peace with the fact that he's not going to be able to change them, no matter how many impassioned speeches he makes. Which doesn't mean that he isn't going to give them shit every time they do something incredibly stupid and reckless that causes property damage and more headaches for Danny.
Like now. Now they're in the media room at 5-0 HQ where the team hangs out sometimes and watches old videos when work is slow and Chin feels nostalgic for his high school football glory days. Danny is pacing the room in a tight, narrow line, his hands moving in increasingly expansive gestures as he explains in small words why today's bust, while technically a victory for them, was conducted in a manner most unbecoming and professional for real cops. Steve and Kono lean their fit, muscled frames against the edge of the table and watch him warily.
"What the fuck is wrong with you two?" Danny has been raging at them for the better part of an hour now, his hands flapping out in helpless gestures as Kono looks over at Steve, who just shrugs like he has no idea what Danny is going on about. "I mean, I really want to know. Is this a you thing?" He eyes Kono, who shrugs. "An island thing? A Boy Scout thing?" he asks, giving Steve a pointed look.
Steve grimaces like he'd really rather not have that brought up again. "Look, Danno--"
"No, no," Danny says, wagging his finger at Steve and cutting him off before he tries to hijack the conversation like he always does. "No 'look, Danno', no 'but you don't understand, Danno', no 'just let me explain, Danno'." He looks over at Kono, raising an eyebrow when he catches her giving Steve a sympathetic look. "That applies to you too, Kono."
Kono's eyes are very wide and she looks completely innocent, which just makes Danny madder. He knows that look. Steve has used that look on him often enough, usually after he's pulled another bone-headed stunt that has left Danny injured and humiliated, and it's just too much seeing it on Kono's face after her role in today's disastrous events. That look never works for Steve, he's not going to let it work for Kono. "Just let me explain, Danno--" she says quickly.
"Explain?" Danny asks, feeling something pulse in his forehead and wondering if he's going to stroke out in the middle of dressing down Steve and Kono. It's entirely possible he will; Chin's bet has him down as a stroke-out ten to one, and with the way Steve keeps looking wounded and Kono looks irritated every time Danny yells at them, he's pretty sure he's about one shout away from his brain actually exploding with rage. "Please, Officer Kalakaua," and that makes her wince, "please explain to me how a simple stakeout led to a boat explosion, millions of dollars' worth of damage to the docks, and my car becoming scrap metal." He gestures at her to speak in a generous movement of his hand.
Kono looks like she's pondering a host of responses. After a few moments of awkward silence, she smiles weakly and says, "Things... got a little out of hand."
"A little out of hand?!" The shout echoes off the walls of the small office they're in, and Steve winces, but he's smart enough to keep his mouth shut; he may be a goddamn lunatic, but he's not entirely suicidal, Danny thinks sourly.
Kono nods, a 'no shit, Sherlock' expression appearing briefly on her face before she manages to lock it down and appear neutral. "Well, yeah," she says blandly. Because this is Kono, she doesn't back down, even from Danny's anger. Steve has learned, through months of Danny yelling and gesticulating and raging until his head hurts, that it's easier to just hunker down and let Danny shout until his anger slowly deflates like a leaky balloon. But Kono is fearless and possibly crazier than Steve, judging by the report he's going to have to write up soon (a report that involves more firepower and damage than he's possibly going to be able to explain away, but he'll worry about that later), and so she just shrugs and steamrolls over Danny's disapproval and outrage in a calm, steady voice. "The boss and I were sitting there and waiting for Hagel to show up--"
"Being quiet and observing due process," Steve throws in, evidently deciding that if Kono can get a word in edgewise, so can he. Danny would be amused by that if Steve hadn't made it abundantly clear that he still doesn't understand how due process actually works, despite Danny's many loud, detailed lectures on the subject, some of them even involving PowerPoint.
"And, like, he shows up early, which we thought was weird," Kono says, managing to infuse her voice with surprise, which is a neat trick that Danny's sure she didn't learn from Steve. Steve does his best to ensure that nothing takes him by surprise, SEAL style, so of course he doesn't know how to fake it. "And he starts shooting in our direction--"
"Which is when we decided to get out and start shooting back," Steve adds, his face all flushed and earnest-looking, and Danny scrolls back in his head through what he knows of Steve and translates: Hagel showed up, and instead of just observing him like they were supposed to, Steve and Kono followed him into the boat without back-up, Hagel noticed them and started shooting, shit went down.
"Where did the bazooka come in?" Danny asks evenly, surprised by how well he manages it considering that he has a headache building up behind his eyes and he still has to write up the fucking report on this.
Steve and Kono exchange guilty glances. "Um," she says.
"Well," Steve hesitates, rubbing a hand over the back of his head like he's trying to figure out which lie Danny will believe.
"Please," Danny begs, his hands clasped in front of him in a prayer, "please tell me that you didn't have that just lying around somewhere. Please tell me that you did not take that with you, in my car, on your way to a simple stakeout. I am begging you, please."
Kono tilts her head at Danny. "We found it on the boat?" she says hesitantly, making it sound more like a question than a statement.
Danny gives them a considering look. "On the boat?" he repeats thoughtfully, and he's quiet for a minute as he mulls over how to work it into the report. "I can handle that," he finally says. "A boat works for me." Kono and Steve keep giving each other baffled looks, like Danny is the one who's crazy, but he doesn't give a shit. It's not like they'll be writing this up and trying to make it sound sane for the Governor, who has the power to shitcan all of them if they push it too far over the line. "Okay, let's start over again and this time," he glares at them as they groan and slump against each other, "let's try to play up the non-crazy parts of the story, all right?"
Two hours later, he's in his office hunched over his computer, hunting and pecking at keys as he tries to find a way to write "arrested the suspect" without using the words "flying tackle" and "roundhouse kick to the head." His head aches, he's running out of lies to put into the report to make it sound like the explosives and fire damage were the result of the drug ring they'd stumbled across and not Steve's love of making things go boom and Kono's handiness with a freaking bazooka, and the computer keeps fucking with him and restarting in the middle of his report, so he has to rewrite the goddamn thing from scratch every time until he finally smartens up and starts saving it every five seconds. He decides he's going to put his foot through the monitor, torch everything else to make sure the whole computer's dead, and then make Steve and Kono write up their own damn lies by hand because Jesus, he does not get paid enough to do this shit for them. It's not even like he got to be involved with this bust since he'd been checking out Hagel's known associates at the time, so he has no idea how he became the de facto paperwork bitch when none of this was his fault.
He's in the middle of cursing the names McGarrett and Kalakaua and all their ancestors and future descendents when he hears the sound of footsteps to his left and looks up to see Chin pushing his way into the office with a cup of coffee in each hand. A while back, Steve had requisitioned a fancy coffee press for the break room, arguing that well-caffeinated detectives were happy, more alert detectives, and Chin has become the default coffee-maker since he's the only one who bothered to read the manual and knows how to work the machine.
"My hero," Danny sighs, taking the coffee from Chin and taking a grateful sip of the strong, hot liquid. Black, one sweetener, a concession to Danny's doctor who's understandably a little worried about his blood pressure these days.
"You writing up the report?" Chin asks, looking over Danny's shoulder to read what he's got so far. Eight months ago, Danny would've been a little squirmy with someone reading over his shoulder. He has no problems with the lack of personal space or people getting in his face to have a conversation, but he draws the line at people watching as he does paperwork. But since Meka's case and that talk with Chin in the bar, since Chin and Hesse and that fucking bomb, Danny's relaxed enough around Chin that the guy can read over his shoulder anytime and Danny doesn't twitch and want to shove him away.
"'Incendiary device'," Chin says approvingly. "Nice."
"I figured it was better than bazooka," Danny sighs and then squints up at Chin, who's sipping his coffee and looking like he's trying really hard not to smile. "Which I don't even get. Who even uses a bazooka anymore? How did they even-- it's like a movie, a really bad one."
Chin shrugs, puts his hand on Danny's shoulder in sympathy. "McGarrett."
"Don't forget your cousin." Danny waves a finger at him. "She's up to her pretty neck in all of this."
"You're just mad about your car," Chin points out, and Danny glowers at him.
"She blew up my car. With a bazooka," he yells and tries not to feel betrayed when Chin laughs at him.
"It was to stop a drug ring," he tells Danny.
Danny's hands feel like they're vibrating with the force of his outrage. "That's-- it was my car," he finally says because it's all he can come up with while his brain short-circuits in self-defense. "I liked that car. It was a good car. You don't just blow up a man's car, even for the good of the city." He presses his fingers against his right eye, feeling a sharp pain start up behind it. "My insurance doesn't cover 'acts of 5-0 in the pursuit of justice'," he says, sounding defeated and tired.
"Breathe, Danno," Chin says smoothly, and Danny breathes and drinks his coffee and tries not to let his brain overheat from the injustice of it all. "You're going to need all your energy to finish writing this report."
Danny purses his lips and gives Chin a pleading look. "So no chance I can make you do it, huh?"
Chin grins and pats Danny's shoulder in a friendly manner. "Blow me, brah," he says cheerfully, stepping away from Danny to head out of the office. "Oh," he says, looking over his shoulder back at Danny, "if I were you, I'd leave out the part where Steve missed Hagel and shot out the oil drum that started the fire that burned down the warehouse and half the docks. The Governor might be a little pissed about that."
"You think?" Danny says, hearing Chin's laughter echo as he leaves, running his fingers through his hair in a frustrated gesture. "One of these days," he promises himself as he starts typing again, "I'm going to kneecap both those assholes and no one's going to blame me for it."
He sighs and tries to find an easier way to say "punched out suspect with his face."
For misspamela, who has been having a rough week, a gen story about Steve and Kono being crazy, badass motherfuckers and all the paperwork that entails.
Fit To Print
In his head, Danny writes his report like this:
1. Commander Steve McGarrett is a fucking lunatic who is a clear and present danger to everyone around him, and he should be locked away for the good of the community.
2. Officer Kono Kalakaua is just as bad, despite her rookie status.
See, Danny used to be fairly innocent in all the ways you could theoretically bend the law to achieve your ends. Sure he's intimidated a few suspects, slammed a few heads into tables during his earlier years when he didn't know much, maybe even omitted to follow a few lesser rules of due process. He's not a perfect cop, and it had taken him a few years and a lot of cases, good advice, and actual training to sand down his rougher edges until he turned himself into a pretty decent facsimile of a model cop.
But there's a difference between the few rules he's broken in his eleven years of being a police officer and the entire rulebook that Steve violates on a near constant basis whenever a case comes their way. After eight months of yelling at Steve about "due process, motherfucker, they're not just words I made up," Danny's pretty much made peace with the fact that at some point, someone higher up is going to notice all the crazy shit that Steve does and come down hard on them for blatantly violating every single principle that police procedure holds dear. It's going to happen, there's nothing he can do to change that, and he's going to have to be okay with that. After their last few cases, he's at the Zen point of his rage where he's just too tired to give a shit anymore.
And then Kono gets into the act of being Steve McGarrett's protege, and all of Danny's Zen blows up in a cloud of eye-twitching, apoplectic rage that gets him one step closer to the aneurysm that's been threatening for the past year or so.
The thing that gets him about Kono is that she's really good at hiding her tendencies to do crazy shit while out in the field. Steve's his partner, he's always violating rules right in Danny's face, but Kono is usually with Chin, so Danny doesn't get to see if she does anything even vaguely psychotic when he's not around. Which, probably not. From what Chin's told him, Kono's a good cop with finely honed instincts and a knack for figuring out what doesn't fit in a crime scene and how that ties in to their case. She'd figured out the female assassin angle in the General Pak case, she'd come up with a way to track the stolen money in that jewelry heist case, and she'd nailed the whole Hesse thing while the rest of them were still scratching their heads at his reappearance, and those was just the ones he could think of off the top of his head. She's a good cop who's going to become a great cop once she gets more experience.
But when she gets together with Steve, it's like something out of Danny's nightmare. Suspects get taken down by full-body tackles, money gets "borrowed" from HPD's cold case evidence locker, and somehow, Kono and Steve end up taking off their clothes and diving into water with alarming regularity. And that was on the case. Danny doesn't even want to think about what they get up to in their spare time, whether it's together or apart; he's sure it involves more weaponry and property destruction than he's legally, ethically, and morally comfortable with.
If they keep going on like this, their luck isn't going to hold anymore. At some point, Internal Affairs is sure to start breathing down their necks, and Danny's going to let Steve and Kono loose on the entire fucking department before quitting his job and selling shave ice for a living. Kamekona's already offered to set Danny up with a cart of his own, and Danny considers it every time Kono threatens a suspect's beloved something or Steve pretends that a warrant is some terrible rock band from the '80s that has absolutely nothing to do with their daily police work.
So now Danny has to get used to Steve and Kono being the psychos who tackle suspects like they get points for each one they take down and let people use them for target practice in order to draw out the suspects. He doesn't like it, he is constantly raging against it, but he also has to learn to make peace with the fact that he's not going to be able to change them, no matter how many impassioned speeches he makes. Which doesn't mean that he isn't going to give them shit every time they do something incredibly stupid and reckless that causes property damage and more headaches for Danny.
Like now. Now they're in the media room at 5-0 HQ where the team hangs out sometimes and watches old videos when work is slow and Chin feels nostalgic for his high school football glory days. Danny is pacing the room in a tight, narrow line, his hands moving in increasingly expansive gestures as he explains in small words why today's bust, while technically a victory for them, was conducted in a manner most unbecoming and professional for real cops. Steve and Kono lean their fit, muscled frames against the edge of the table and watch him warily.
"What the fuck is wrong with you two?" Danny has been raging at them for the better part of an hour now, his hands flapping out in helpless gestures as Kono looks over at Steve, who just shrugs like he has no idea what Danny is going on about. "I mean, I really want to know. Is this a you thing?" He eyes Kono, who shrugs. "An island thing? A Boy Scout thing?" he asks, giving Steve a pointed look.
Steve grimaces like he'd really rather not have that brought up again. "Look, Danno--"
"No, no," Danny says, wagging his finger at Steve and cutting him off before he tries to hijack the conversation like he always does. "No 'look, Danno', no 'but you don't understand, Danno', no 'just let me explain, Danno'." He looks over at Kono, raising an eyebrow when he catches her giving Steve a sympathetic look. "That applies to you too, Kono."
Kono's eyes are very wide and she looks completely innocent, which just makes Danny madder. He knows that look. Steve has used that look on him often enough, usually after he's pulled another bone-headed stunt that has left Danny injured and humiliated, and it's just too much seeing it on Kono's face after her role in today's disastrous events. That look never works for Steve, he's not going to let it work for Kono. "Just let me explain, Danno--" she says quickly.
"Explain?" Danny asks, feeling something pulse in his forehead and wondering if he's going to stroke out in the middle of dressing down Steve and Kono. It's entirely possible he will; Chin's bet has him down as a stroke-out ten to one, and with the way Steve keeps looking wounded and Kono looks irritated every time Danny yells at them, he's pretty sure he's about one shout away from his brain actually exploding with rage. "Please, Officer Kalakaua," and that makes her wince, "please explain to me how a simple stakeout led to a boat explosion, millions of dollars' worth of damage to the docks, and my car becoming scrap metal." He gestures at her to speak in a generous movement of his hand.
Kono looks like she's pondering a host of responses. After a few moments of awkward silence, she smiles weakly and says, "Things... got a little out of hand."
"A little out of hand?!" The shout echoes off the walls of the small office they're in, and Steve winces, but he's smart enough to keep his mouth shut; he may be a goddamn lunatic, but he's not entirely suicidal, Danny thinks sourly.
Kono nods, a 'no shit, Sherlock' expression appearing briefly on her face before she manages to lock it down and appear neutral. "Well, yeah," she says blandly. Because this is Kono, she doesn't back down, even from Danny's anger. Steve has learned, through months of Danny yelling and gesticulating and raging until his head hurts, that it's easier to just hunker down and let Danny shout until his anger slowly deflates like a leaky balloon. But Kono is fearless and possibly crazier than Steve, judging by the report he's going to have to write up soon (a report that involves more firepower and damage than he's possibly going to be able to explain away, but he'll worry about that later), and so she just shrugs and steamrolls over Danny's disapproval and outrage in a calm, steady voice. "The boss and I were sitting there and waiting for Hagel to show up--"
"Being quiet and observing due process," Steve throws in, evidently deciding that if Kono can get a word in edgewise, so can he. Danny would be amused by that if Steve hadn't made it abundantly clear that he still doesn't understand how due process actually works, despite Danny's many loud, detailed lectures on the subject, some of them even involving PowerPoint.
"And, like, he shows up early, which we thought was weird," Kono says, managing to infuse her voice with surprise, which is a neat trick that Danny's sure she didn't learn from Steve. Steve does his best to ensure that nothing takes him by surprise, SEAL style, so of course he doesn't know how to fake it. "And he starts shooting in our direction--"
"Which is when we decided to get out and start shooting back," Steve adds, his face all flushed and earnest-looking, and Danny scrolls back in his head through what he knows of Steve and translates: Hagel showed up, and instead of just observing him like they were supposed to, Steve and Kono followed him into the boat without back-up, Hagel noticed them and started shooting, shit went down.
"Where did the bazooka come in?" Danny asks evenly, surprised by how well he manages it considering that he has a headache building up behind his eyes and he still has to write up the fucking report on this.
Steve and Kono exchange guilty glances. "Um," she says.
"Well," Steve hesitates, rubbing a hand over the back of his head like he's trying to figure out which lie Danny will believe.
"Please," Danny begs, his hands clasped in front of him in a prayer, "please tell me that you didn't have that just lying around somewhere. Please tell me that you did not take that with you, in my car, on your way to a simple stakeout. I am begging you, please."
Kono tilts her head at Danny. "We found it on the boat?" she says hesitantly, making it sound more like a question than a statement.
Danny gives them a considering look. "On the boat?" he repeats thoughtfully, and he's quiet for a minute as he mulls over how to work it into the report. "I can handle that," he finally says. "A boat works for me." Kono and Steve keep giving each other baffled looks, like Danny is the one who's crazy, but he doesn't give a shit. It's not like they'll be writing this up and trying to make it sound sane for the Governor, who has the power to shitcan all of them if they push it too far over the line. "Okay, let's start over again and this time," he glares at them as they groan and slump against each other, "let's try to play up the non-crazy parts of the story, all right?"
Two hours later, he's in his office hunched over his computer, hunting and pecking at keys as he tries to find a way to write "arrested the suspect" without using the words "flying tackle" and "roundhouse kick to the head." His head aches, he's running out of lies to put into the report to make it sound like the explosives and fire damage were the result of the drug ring they'd stumbled across and not Steve's love of making things go boom and Kono's handiness with a freaking bazooka, and the computer keeps fucking with him and restarting in the middle of his report, so he has to rewrite the goddamn thing from scratch every time until he finally smartens up and starts saving it every five seconds. He decides he's going to put his foot through the monitor, torch everything else to make sure the whole computer's dead, and then make Steve and Kono write up their own damn lies by hand because Jesus, he does not get paid enough to do this shit for them. It's not even like he got to be involved with this bust since he'd been checking out Hagel's known associates at the time, so he has no idea how he became the de facto paperwork bitch when none of this was his fault.
He's in the middle of cursing the names McGarrett and Kalakaua and all their ancestors and future descendents when he hears the sound of footsteps to his left and looks up to see Chin pushing his way into the office with a cup of coffee in each hand. A while back, Steve had requisitioned a fancy coffee press for the break room, arguing that well-caffeinated detectives were happy, more alert detectives, and Chin has become the default coffee-maker since he's the only one who bothered to read the manual and knows how to work the machine.
"My hero," Danny sighs, taking the coffee from Chin and taking a grateful sip of the strong, hot liquid. Black, one sweetener, a concession to Danny's doctor who's understandably a little worried about his blood pressure these days.
"You writing up the report?" Chin asks, looking over Danny's shoulder to read what he's got so far. Eight months ago, Danny would've been a little squirmy with someone reading over his shoulder. He has no problems with the lack of personal space or people getting in his face to have a conversation, but he draws the line at people watching as he does paperwork. But since Meka's case and that talk with Chin in the bar, since Chin and Hesse and that fucking bomb, Danny's relaxed enough around Chin that the guy can read over his shoulder anytime and Danny doesn't twitch and want to shove him away.
"'Incendiary device'," Chin says approvingly. "Nice."
"I figured it was better than bazooka," Danny sighs and then squints up at Chin, who's sipping his coffee and looking like he's trying really hard not to smile. "Which I don't even get. Who even uses a bazooka anymore? How did they even-- it's like a movie, a really bad one."
Chin shrugs, puts his hand on Danny's shoulder in sympathy. "McGarrett."
"Don't forget your cousin." Danny waves a finger at him. "She's up to her pretty neck in all of this."
"You're just mad about your car," Chin points out, and Danny glowers at him.
"She blew up my car. With a bazooka," he yells and tries not to feel betrayed when Chin laughs at him.
"It was to stop a drug ring," he tells Danny.
Danny's hands feel like they're vibrating with the force of his outrage. "That's-- it was my car," he finally says because it's all he can come up with while his brain short-circuits in self-defense. "I liked that car. It was a good car. You don't just blow up a man's car, even for the good of the city." He presses his fingers against his right eye, feeling a sharp pain start up behind it. "My insurance doesn't cover 'acts of 5-0 in the pursuit of justice'," he says, sounding defeated and tired.
"Breathe, Danno," Chin says smoothly, and Danny breathes and drinks his coffee and tries not to let his brain overheat from the injustice of it all. "You're going to need all your energy to finish writing this report."
Danny purses his lips and gives Chin a pleading look. "So no chance I can make you do it, huh?"
Chin grins and pats Danny's shoulder in a friendly manner. "Blow me, brah," he says cheerfully, stepping away from Danny to head out of the office. "Oh," he says, looking over his shoulder back at Danny, "if I were you, I'd leave out the part where Steve missed Hagel and shot out the oil drum that started the fire that burned down the warehouse and half the docks. The Governor might be a little pissed about that."
"You think?" Danny says, hearing Chin's laughter echo as he leaves, running his fingers through his hair in a frustrated gesture. "One of these days," he promises himself as he starts typing again, "I'm going to kneecap both those assholes and no one's going to blame me for it."
He sighs and tries to find an easier way to say "punched out suspect with his face."