(no subject)
I light a match and watch as it burns dangerously close to my fingers. I place it to the rolled paper lighting my euphoria. I breath and drag the smoke into my lungs holding my breath. Nary a sound do I make until it escapes slowly through my nostrils, leaving me it's fix. And it feels so good to escape your own mind. It feels so good to let the pain just wash from your system. and it feels so good as it's taken over by a prodigious high.
For years I was clean. I was calm, I felt complete. Reality sometimes comes along to slap us in the face. It was then that sex was my addiction. Sex eased the pain and made me feel I could get passed it all..wash away the sin with a sin.. It could always make me feel better, now the last thing on my mind. I would say I've become impotent of thought. My brain just can't even think in that old direction anymore. Those visions only bring her and a curvy body as lips and hips ach in rememberance.
And in speaking to a good friend we laughed at the realisation of it all. Here we were two self proclaimed nymphomaniacs sitting side by side and sex was the furthest thing from their minds. we could only think of them..and the thought that it's over. We were indeed to much alike. She my mirror twin. So much that it hurt the others in our lives that we understood each other so completely. But through our own understanding came a huge misunderstanding. ~To both of you: there is nothing going on. Please don't make assumptions until you know. I wont keep anything from you. I never will.
I crawled down the hallway to the spare bedroom knowing full well I couldn't and shouldn't drive. I climbed onto the bed. I didn't bother with my clothes. I awoke to sunlight burning my eyes and a dog licking my toes. I didn't budge. I had no reason to move...would I ever have reason again?
For years I was clean. I was calm, I felt complete. Reality sometimes comes along to slap us in the face. It was then that sex was my addiction. Sex eased the pain and made me feel I could get passed it all..wash away the sin with a sin.. It could always make me feel better, now the last thing on my mind. I would say I've become impotent of thought. My brain just can't even think in that old direction anymore. Those visions only bring her and a curvy body as lips and hips ach in rememberance.
And in speaking to a good friend we laughed at the realisation of it all. Here we were two self proclaimed nymphomaniacs sitting side by side and sex was the furthest thing from their minds. we could only think of them..and the thought that it's over. We were indeed to much alike. She my mirror twin. So much that it hurt the others in our lives that we understood each other so completely. But through our own understanding came a huge misunderstanding. ~To both of you: there is nothing going on. Please don't make assumptions until you know. I wont keep anything from you. I never will.
I crawled down the hallway to the spare bedroom knowing full well I couldn't and shouldn't drive. I climbed onto the bed. I didn't bother with my clothes. I awoke to sunlight burning my eyes and a dog licking my toes. I didn't budge. I had no reason to move...would I ever have reason again?