Moves
Location: East Weyr
Time: Evening on Day 9, Month 8, Turn 2
Players: Aida and Roa
Scene: I...uh...how did this happen?
Another evening, another after dinner scene. Aida slips down through the tunnel on quiet feet, carrying the scarf from her hair in her hand and looking...well, calm, really. Not much expression to her face at all save her very usual hints of too-tired. The young woman draws up at that point that is the line between 'tunnel' and 'weyr', lifting one foot to set the toe on the stone floor behind her as she peeks. Is there a Roa in evidence? Is she busy? Peek.
There is a Roa in evidence, and she seems, at the moment, not busy. Or at least, not openly so. What she's doing is lying on her back, on the bed, hands clasped and resting on her chest, and gaze staring up at the ceiling. She blinks slowly every so often, quite lost in thought. Her brows twitch up or down every so often. Tialith is also in residence, coiled on her couched, jeweled eyes open. Perhaps they are conversing.
"Knock knock?" Aida takes a half step in, crossing that invisible line into the weyr but going no further, yet. She sends a small smile over in the direction of the couch, dropping her chin as she tilts a nod to Tialith, and then she's straightening up, focusing her attention over on Roa.
The queen blinks once, but it is a slow motion, intentional, and directed at the bescarfed girl in the doorway. Roa also tips her head and then sits up to see who has come calling. "Aida. Hello. Come in."
Aida waves her scarf at Roa in greeting, then promptly heads over in the direction of the bed, moving to flop down beside Roa without so much as a by your leave. "I moved back into the dorms," she announces once she's on her stomach, feet dangling off so she's not getting her boots on the blankets. One elbow is set against the bed, and she drops her cheek onto her hand so she can continue to look over at the other girl. "How are you doing?"
The weyrwoman sits up a bit straighter. "I went shopping with Sinopa. It was horrifying. You still win. Kick off your shoes. Should I get wine?" Roa draws up her own legs to cross them as she peers down at Aida. "What happened?"
Rolling over and then shoving up to sit up, Aida leans down and starts untying her boots. "If you'd like wine, wine would be good," she replies quietly, letting the first boot fall to the floor with a thud before she starts on the second. "Shopping with Sinopa. That does sound horrifying. There's only so much of that...girly stuff. That I can handle. How long did you spend at it?" Conversational, her tone is; idle chatter. She doesn't answer that last question. Did she even hear it? No response.
Eyes roll and there is a soft groan. "Hours. We went to the Weavercraft Hall. To the -Hall-." Roa scowls as she stares down at the new garments she's currently wearing. "They tried to put me in high heels. That is where I draw the line, I'm afraid." Unanswered questions are left just that for now.
Thud. The second boot joins the first, and Aida flops down again, this time to lay on her back, her head turned so she can look up and over at Roa. "I'm supposed to go with Bailie at some point to a weaver that she prefers," she says. "It should be...interesting. I'm supposed to give up my boots for a nice pretty pair of flats -- I've even had them /made/. I just can't...quite bring myself to do it. You do look nice, though."
"M'not giving up my boots," Roa grumps softly. "A rider needs her boots. Any rider worth their salt will tell you so." Huff. "And I'm not wearing heels." Because if the tiny weyrwoman didn't quite have the gumption to outright complain to the Weaver Master, Aida gets to be her surrogate listener. She considers a moment, "I suppose, when necessary, flats could be all right. Sometimes." Her gaze darts quickly to where her boots sit in the corner of the room. As if they now might be pilfered away at any moment.
"Hard to run in dressy shoes," Aida points out, giving a little mock-shudder and making a face. "I don't see what's so wrong with boots. I really don't. They're comfy. They give proper ankle support. You can step on things. It's not like they're /ugly/. But apparently, they're not very feminine." She rolls her eyes, there.
"It seems to me," considers Roa dryly, "that when folks are inclined to notice femininity, it's not because they're looking at our feet. So. Boots stay." One hand lowers onto the bed to give a little thwap to the decree. She's a weyrwoman here, now. She can say these sorts of things. But not, it seems, with a straight face. Snicker.
There's laughter, for that. Aida shoves back up until she's almost sitting, weight resting back on her hands. "Good," she says. "I'll just tell anyone who bothers me about them that I'm wearing them as a show of solidarity. You should come with Bai and I, when we go. If we go. It's fun, with her. I don't mind it all so much." Weight shifts to one hand, the other coming up so she can pinch at her shirt, tugging it out a little in indication before she drops it again, sets her hand back down. "This was at her suggestion. Said I needed a softer color for the shirt, but that everything else I had was fine." Beat. "Except the boots."
"I don't know..." the skepticism is heavy in Roa's voice. "I don't think I can handle anymore clothes shopping just now. And there's that shelling gather coming up...it's more sociability than I'm equipped to deal with over such a short span of time."
Deep breath, a slow exhale of the air. Aida nods, offering over a wry smile. "Well, it probably won't be for a while," she points out. "But yeah, I understand. The gather." Nose wrinkle. "My family might be there. Is likely, to be there." Frown. "I don't know if I'm going to go."
"You're not?" Roa asks, brows lifting a bit. "Well, I suppose family -can- be terrifying," she considers. "Still, I imagine Sefton could use the support just now. Although, frankly, if I was still Telgari, I wouldn't be going either. I..." she tips her head down to study her fingers. "They're not, in general, my sort of thing."
Silence, for a moment, and then Aida is huffing another sigh and pulling a horrid face. "You're right," she comments, voice touched with something that's playfully cranky -- there's no genuine displeasure behind it. "I need to go and listen and things. They...well, I enjoy them. I like dancing, and you know I'm social. I just...am not quite in the mood for it all, right now." That last admission has the humor draining away from her tone. "You going to let me follow you around, some?"
"Please," Roa agrees softly and with a deep nod. "We can defend one another. I don't...I can't dance. I mean, I know how but I just. I -can't-. So, if you can help keep me from dancing, I can help keep you away from people you've no interest in talking with." Namely...Aida's family.
There's another moment's silence on Aida's part, and then she's offering over a small smile. "It's not so much that I don't want to talk to them, as it's...likely to be hard. They don't like what I've done with myself. But I'll stick with you, certainly. It'll make it easier on both of us. Can I come with you and Tialith, to get over there? I have...no idea, what I'm going to wear."
"Sure you can," Roa agrees, "though you may want to check with Sefton. I'd presume he has some dragon already arranged for himself. But if you don't want to arrive with...oh. I suppose he'd be showing up with Bailie anyhow." There is another, if belated, nod. "Tia and I would be happy to have you." Her eyes close. "But I don't want to think about clothes anymore."
"I don't think he'd mind me showing up with you," Aida says quietly, and then she's chuckling, shaking her head and bringing a hand up to rub a finger along the bridge of her nose. "It'll all be fun, I'm sure. We'll...yeah. It'll be fun." Another exhaled sigh, and she flops back to her back. Sitting in one position for very long, right now? Does not seem to be happening. "The distraction will probably be nice, right?"
"Hopefully. I don't seem to have very good luck at gathers." A tiny smirk. Roa broke her leg at the last one. And then the most recent...well..."But this one's at the hold, so perhaps we'll be spared appalling acts of violence just this once."
"It would be nice," Aida says, and her voice now touches towards dry. "I don't think I'm going to hold my breath, though. I will cross my fingers." With that said, her lashes drift down, cloak her eyes. "I left him."
Her mouth is opened to offer some snappy comeback to the likelihood of a safe gather, but those last words forestall that tactic. Instead Roa just asks, softly, "Oh. How come?"
"Ideological differences," she murmurs, voice lowering in volume to something only barely above a whisper. It does, at least, not sound too very strained. "Basically. I...there were things we couldn't resolve. Things about me that he couldn't deal with. We got into a fight. About Nabol." Aida's explanation is halting, now. The words aren't quite stumbled over, but it's close. "He couldn't understand how I could understand. J'cor's decision. He couldn't wrap his brain around the fact that I would have made the exact same call. It...he couldn't wrap his mind around it. Could not face it. Would not face it. I wouldn't be able to hide it from him forever. Who I am. It was better to do it now."
The weyrwoman swallows sharply, her own gaze staring up at the ceiling. "Oh," she says very softly. "Shit." There is, for a while, nothing else Roa can think to say. Then, simply, "You want to stay here tonight? Instead?" Instead of the barracks, presumably.
"It's not what you think, either," Aida points out quietly, shaking her head and pushing back up to sitting up. "It was only, officially deny, unofficially allow. I don't think they should have gone without. But...well, it was a mess. And it wasn't something we could resolve. We...view things entirely differently. Irreconcilable differences, I think they call it?" There's humor in her tone there, but it's a dark, dark humor. "I..." Deep breath, and it's exhaled heavily and in a rush. "I would. But...I've got to get used to. Well. I'm asking for a private room. I don't know if I'll be allowed or not. The cots are so small, and I've got so much stuff now."
"I have space," Roa offers. "If you want to leave some things here for now. It seems like, due to your position, you ought to have your own room. Anyhow, the offer's open. And I do understand. Disagreeing about something important with someone important. What that's like. It's awful and it...you're right. There comes a point where who you are and who they want is just too different." Roa leans back, closing her eyes. "And then, on top of it all, there's who you pretend to be."
Again, there's silence on Aida's part, and then she's turning her head to look over at Roa, her eyes a little bit wide. "You...until, I...you don't mind?" This seems even to have pulled her out of the sulk she was sinking into, the surprise and light confusion getting the better of her. "I...yeah. He...we were fine, until. Well. Until it mattered. And then we weren't. He's a good man, don't get me wrong. A very good man." Pause. "Which is why I left him." Even though she manages to put the words forth, the initial bit of shock is still dominating, and she blinks a few times at the other woman.
"I don't mind," Roa agrees. Let's tackle the easy bit first. Her hands curl a bit more tightly against one another as she asks, "You left him, because he's a good man? But you don't agree. And you think...what you believe...will damage that goodness?"
"I'm hoping it will only be a few days. But I couldn't sleep, there. It...I was hoping, that it would get easier. But it hasn't, yet." Aida offers a wry smile, glancing down. That last question has her shaking her head lightly, closing her eyes again as she exhales a soft sigh. "It's hard to explain." At least, without making herself sound terribly awful. "Br'ce is very...right or wrong. And nothing else matters. We were talking about Nabol. And I tried to explain, why J'cor made the decision that he did. That I understood it. That I would have made the same call, that it had to be made the way it was. I'm...you know we're going into a rough time, Roa. You know that we're all going to have to make rough choices. It's not so much that I'd damage the goodness as that it would kill him to ever have to face who I really am and what I'm capable of, and I know it. And I can't be with somebody who...can't take who I am, or how I view things. Even if I never have to step up and do something he'd despise if he found out about it...I tried to kill somebody once, Roa. I tried really hard."
"Really?" There is...quizzical fascination in the question. "Huh. How come? Or, actually, don't tell me if you don't want." She's staring up at the ceiling still. Hasn't stopped. "Rough times are coming," she says. "They're here. It's starting. I really pissed off D'ven."
After that little admission was made, Aida holds her breath. She really does. When Roa's response comes, it all rushes out in a breath of relief, of sudden tension released. There's even a shake that runs through her. That may just have been the most difficult thing she ever admitted to, and Roa didn't start screeching that she was a monster. This is going good. "He was, picking. On somebody. A lot. Hurt people. I got involved. He...hurt me." Pause. "Nothing happened to him for it. He kept it up." And that is apparently that; she doesn't continue, only pauses again for a moment before asking, "How'd you piss off D'ven?"
"Someone once told me that anybody threatening your safety forfeited their own right to safety. So." Shoulders lift and fall. "How come you didn't then? Kill him?" This topic, it seems, is far easier to discuss. "As for D'ven. Well. We talked about Nabol, which brought up other topics. And then I pushed too hard and got a backlash. And we haven't spoken since."
Flop, back to her back again. Aida's eyes now set up on the ceiling. "Tell me more about what happened with D'ven? Do you want me to try and fix it?" Pause. "If I can. I don't know if he'll be speaking to me. After. You know." It is, of course, that topic that is easier for /her/ to discuss, and so she latches onto that first. A soft sigh. "I tried. I thought I did. He didn't die, though."
"He didn't die," Roa agrees with a sad little smile. "No," she shakes her head sharply. "Don't. It's between me and him, and either I make it right or make an enemy, but...no. Thank you, Aida. We just..." she sighs softly. "I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't say."
"Please don't make an enemy out of him," Aida's voice softens there, a hint of a plea or a request touching her tone as she lifts her head and looks over. "You two...you're both perfect, you shouldn't be enemies. I mean, I understand, if you end up...if it ends up happening. I...things are so complex. I hate it."
"I'd rather make a Weyrleader out of him," Roa notes quietly and rather bluntly. "We'll see what happens, I suppose."
"Yeah," Aida agrees, flopping her arm over her face, covering her eyes with it. "Me too. But he's dead set against being responsible for anything. I've been pushing and pushing him, and...well, there's been /progress/. At least he's admitting he's not an incompetent idiot, now."
"In the end, it's simply not his choice. He'll get it or he won't, and then he'll deal with it either way." Roa exhales softly and shakes her head slowly.
"Yeah," Aida agrees quietly, and then...surprise surprise, she's shifting positions again, this time to push up on one arm and rest on her hip. It lets her look over at Roa again, see her face better. "He'd be good for it. If he lets Teraneth fly. I don't know what it is, that he's afraid of. There's something. I...well, I mean. You've seen, we're close. Were, at least." Insert wan smile here. "He's very competent, very intelligent. I don't think it's true, that he prefers the life he has, that he just likes being stupid, more. I think he's scared to not be. And he'd throttle me if he knew I told you that. I don't know what happened to him before, or why he shies away. There's things he just...cringes, from."
"Yes, I know," Roa only nods at the assessment of the bronzerider. "I found one, and I poked it. Hence, he's mad at me."
"Sorry. I...just want to help," Aida says, dropping back down, this time to lay on her stomach and put her forehead on crossed arms. "He'll get over it."
"I know you do. I just...I think this is between him and me. And I think it has to stay that way, or I'll only make it worse." Roa's fingers drum lightly on the furs, "You sure you don't want some wine or something? I don't usually...I mean...it just seems like maybe this is an occasion for inebriation, right here."
"If you want wine, I'm happy to drink wine," Aida tells the bed, given that's the way her face is. At least she's not mumbling into the furs. The subject of D'ven is, perhaps surprisingly, not pressed any further. "I'm okay, though. I mean, I'm fine. I'm just..." She trails off. "Maybe a bit of a mess. Am I being awkward at you?"
"I don't really. I mean. Like I said. I don't much drink, really, but..." shoulders lift and fall. "I understand it's a thing to do. In such instances." Roa's lips quirk upwards. "You're not being awkward. Trust me when I tell you that it is impossible to outmess me."
"We're such a pair," Aida comments, lifting her head up so she can set her cheek on her arms now, offer over a small smile. "Aren't we? I don't need to drink, right now, I don't think. It wouldn't help, and I'd just get sad and cry. Thing to do or not. This is all just...hard. You know? All of it is. It's nearly impossible to find the right path -- it's like this big maze."
"Course it is," Roa agrees softly. "Shells. Of -course- it is. Don't you just want to kick whoever let us grow up thinking it would be anything else?" She huffs softly. Clearly, Roa very much would like to kick said person.
There's silence, on Aida's part -- this question, it is given a good deal of consideration. Then she's chuckling softly, letting her eyes drift closed. "I didn't grow up thinking it was anything else," she replies, voice quiet. "Not precisely. I just didn't expect...all of this, either. I don't think anybody knew what I'd get myself into."
There is a slow, weary sigh from Roa as the annoyance that has leaked out is now gathered and put back in. "I guess nobody can really expect what they'll come across," she says softly. "Or even who they'll become, much as we think we have a say in it. I don't know. I'm sorry it's feeling so especially tangled now. If you want to talk it through, or just talk where someone's around to listen..."
"I think it's always been tangled, and I'm really only seeing it now," Aida says quietly, lashes lifting again as she looks over once more, offers another small smile. "And...I know, Roa. That's why I'm here, that's why I'm talking. In my own way, that's what I'm doing. It's not your fault, how much I care about making things right, here. How involved I got. We'll learn to navigate it. I know we will. Hard as it is...you know, we're two of the smartest girls around, right?"
Roa laughs softly. "Right. Except when we're the dumbest, of course." Roa's eyes drift shut. "I care too. I think you know that, but just so we're clear. I want things right, too."
"We'll figure it out," Aida points out, and her voice climbs back up to absolutely certain. "Really, Roa. Whatever we have to do, we'll figure it out, and we'll do it. And you aren't by yourself, and I'm not by /myself/, and...we'll just do it. Because we can."
"I..." Roa swallows sharply. "That's good to know," she whispers. "Ah, shells It's going to be such a mess. -Such- a mess. I mean I knew, but now, I can feel it. My insides hurt."
"I can feel it all the way to my bones," Aida agrees softly, sitting up all of the way, pulling her legs in until she's sitting cross-legged. Both hands come up, shoving her messy curls out of her face. "It's the calm before the storm, right now. But, you know? We're both good. We're both smart. Between the two of us, what /can't/ we do, right?" One hand drops, and is extended towards Roa. Maybe for a shake? "I'm here. We'll take the whole world on if we need to -- and I don't think we'll need to." How can she sound so absolutely sure of herself? So. Certain.
"It's not the matter of being able to do it. It's just the things it will cost. We're going to lose a lot, you know. Br'ce. Tiv. D'ven. All of them. Gone. Irreparably. Others too, I suspect. It can't help but be personal." Roa's slender fingers are settled in Aida's hand. "I'm not afraid of taking on the world anymore. I just..." but her mouth closes and her head shakes slightly. "It'll be worth it to a lot of people. So many. But, I'm going to have ghosts. We both are."
When Roa gives her her hand, Aida's fingers wrap around hers gently, giving a soft squeeze, then just holding on. "We are," she agrees softly. "It's going to be very hard. We don't even know, can't even imagine...not until we get there." And then she's offering a small smile, the surety visible even there. "But we'll walk the road. We'll do it. You'll do it. I know you can face whatever it is we're going to have to face. It'll be worth it in the end, no matter how much it hurts."
"I do believe that," the weyrwoman whispers with a soft and heated conviction. "Oh shells." She draws in a shuddering breath through her nose and exhales through her mouth. "Here we go."
"Here we go," Aida echoes back, squeezing Roa's fingers again. Another smile is offered, brighter. "Is there anything in particular you wish to discuss right now, or shall I shift back to the matters that are more easily talked about?"
The weyrwoman finally turns her head to regard Aida, hand still curled in the other woman's. She chews her inner lip before she notes softly. "Nabol. The added help. That was my idea."
Blink. Blink. Aida's eyes go a bit wide, and then she swallows. "Br'ce. He's asking questions, wants to look into it," she points out. "I told him to drop it. That was the second fight, we had. Because he was being a hypocrite. That..." Stare. It only takes her a moment more to digest the information, and then her expression is smoothing out, and she gives another soft squeeze to the hand in hers. "It was good that they came."
"I didn't suggest it because it was going to be good for Nabol," Roa admits with a soft sigh. "I mean I did. But, not primarily. I truly didn't think the Reaches would fly fall there again. I thought it would just be them. I thought it would get people talking."
So many thoughts. So many things that are spinning through her mind, and Aida is placid on the surface, just a little bit wide eyed. She considers the words spoken for a moment before she gives a short nod, and her lips curve up into a smile. "It did that," she says. "Br'ce, at least. I imagine he'll speak of it to others. What line of discussion do you wish to encourage?"
"Any," is the simple answer Roa provides. "They're horrible. They're wonderful. They're men. They're monsters. Everybody's got opinions, and we've been sitting on them for eleven turns. I want to hear what the Weyr says. Who wants what. This isn't about convincing. Not yet. It's about..." and for some reason this pulls a tiny smile to her lips. "...it's about keep your mouth shut. And learning."
Again, Aida is silent after Roa has spoken, mulling the words over. And again, when she has finished this consideration, she nods. "I'll keep my ears out," she agrees softly, lips curving up into a smile as well, perhaps to encourage Roa's. "And let you know what I hear, of course."
"Thank you. I'll do the same." A small smirk and shake of her head. "He's going to kill me," is murmured practically under Roa's breath. But there's no elaboration and she soon adds, "-Now-, I would like to return to safer topics. Do you need pajamas or something to sleep in, tonight?"
Just a nod. Acknowledgment, understanding. A signal that she is with the other woman, as is the squeeze of fingers before she withdraws her hand. Aida offers up a smile at those words, hand raising to ruffle through her curls once more. Safer topics. "I'll...I'm just staying here tonight, right? And stashing my stuff?" Uncertainty there, again. She's perfectly confident she can save the world, but...the personal level of things? Not so much.
"You're staying here tonight," Roa confirms, "And stashing your stuff. Company's nice. So, until you get your room, staying here's an open invitation. Although, of course, people will likely presume things." Eye roll. Ah, the unstoppable the gossip mill.
"People are going to presume things no matter what," Aida points out, shrugging her shoulders and offering a small smile. "I'd...if you don't mind me staying with you until I get my own room, I'd. Like that. I don't want to be by myself, just yet, but the dorms..." She shakes her head. "I was thinking about asking Tav and T'zen, but...well." Wry smile, there. "If you don't mind? I don't want to make things difficult for /you/."
Roa laughs softly. "I don't think Tavaly and T'zen...well...yes, that would indicate desperation. Nobody in here but me. So, so long as you don't mind that I sleep oddly and not so often, you're welcome to pitch your tent here for a bit. When it's warm, I usually just sleep outside with Tialith anyhow."
Relief washes over Aida's face, and she starts to lean towards Roa, probably for a hug. And then she stops, sits back up, offers over a sheepish smile. "Don't mind," she promises. "I...don't have the words to say thank you enough. For. Everything. You're...thank you."
"I'm not," Roa says, soft and solemn. There's a little shake of her head. "Really. I'm not." And then the moment is gone. Her eyes roll again, though it comes with a smirk, and her arms open. The hug Aida aborted, now invited.
Aida lets out a quiet little chuckle, promptly shifting her position and leaning over to take Roa up on that invitation. Cling. Squeeze. "You so are," she points out, but this time there's humor threading through her tone. "If there's anything I can ever do. You know I would."
"All right," the goldrider says softly. Which is different than 'I know' or 'I will'. She hugs back, squeezes, meeting Aida's embrace with equal strength, but no more. Then, softly, "Thank you, back."
"I mean it," Aida says, and that same certainty rings in her tone again. "Anything." And that's that. She squeezes for a moment, then lets go, sitting back up and offering another little smile. "I'm gonna go get some of my stuff. I'll...bring it over quiet like, so maybe it won't be a big deal. I'm sneaky, like a thing that is sneaky. When I want to be."
Roa rolls her eyes and snorts softly. "It won't matter. Don't worry about it. -I- don't care. But go ahead. I'll move stuff around a bit so you've got more room for your things." She's shifting away and scooting towards the edge of the bed to hop off and make good on her words. "Guess I'll see you in a bit."
Sliding off of the bed herself and to her feet, Aida eyes her boots for a moment, then doesn't bother with them. She takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly, offers over a smile. "Thanks," she says quietly. "I'll...see you in a bit, yeah." So much relief there, there really is.
Roa is already up and puttering. Consolidating things into single drawers. Pushing books to one side or another of the shelf. Getting ready. Getting busy. Getting distracted.
There's a moment of stillness; Aida stops in place, watching the weyrwoman for a long moment. Uncertain. It's all weighed in her mind, and then some abrupt thought has her dismissing that certainty, giving a shake of her head and starting to pad towards the tunnel on feet that are yet more quiet, now that they aren't in those big heavy boots.
Time: Evening on Day 9, Month 8, Turn 2
Players: Aida and Roa
Scene: I...uh...how did this happen?
Another evening, another after dinner scene. Aida slips down through the tunnel on quiet feet, carrying the scarf from her hair in her hand and looking...well, calm, really. Not much expression to her face at all save her very usual hints of too-tired. The young woman draws up at that point that is the line between 'tunnel' and 'weyr', lifting one foot to set the toe on the stone floor behind her as she peeks. Is there a Roa in evidence? Is she busy? Peek.
There is a Roa in evidence, and she seems, at the moment, not busy. Or at least, not openly so. What she's doing is lying on her back, on the bed, hands clasped and resting on her chest, and gaze staring up at the ceiling. She blinks slowly every so often, quite lost in thought. Her brows twitch up or down every so often. Tialith is also in residence, coiled on her couched, jeweled eyes open. Perhaps they are conversing.
"Knock knock?" Aida takes a half step in, crossing that invisible line into the weyr but going no further, yet. She sends a small smile over in the direction of the couch, dropping her chin as she tilts a nod to Tialith, and then she's straightening up, focusing her attention over on Roa.
The queen blinks once, but it is a slow motion, intentional, and directed at the bescarfed girl in the doorway. Roa also tips her head and then sits up to see who has come calling. "Aida. Hello. Come in."
Aida waves her scarf at Roa in greeting, then promptly heads over in the direction of the bed, moving to flop down beside Roa without so much as a by your leave. "I moved back into the dorms," she announces once she's on her stomach, feet dangling off so she's not getting her boots on the blankets. One elbow is set against the bed, and she drops her cheek onto her hand so she can continue to look over at the other girl. "How are you doing?"
The weyrwoman sits up a bit straighter. "I went shopping with Sinopa. It was horrifying. You still win. Kick off your shoes. Should I get wine?" Roa draws up her own legs to cross them as she peers down at Aida. "What happened?"
Rolling over and then shoving up to sit up, Aida leans down and starts untying her boots. "If you'd like wine, wine would be good," she replies quietly, letting the first boot fall to the floor with a thud before she starts on the second. "Shopping with Sinopa. That does sound horrifying. There's only so much of that...girly stuff. That I can handle. How long did you spend at it?" Conversational, her tone is; idle chatter. She doesn't answer that last question. Did she even hear it? No response.
Eyes roll and there is a soft groan. "Hours. We went to the Weavercraft Hall. To the -Hall-." Roa scowls as she stares down at the new garments she's currently wearing. "They tried to put me in high heels. That is where I draw the line, I'm afraid." Unanswered questions are left just that for now.
Thud. The second boot joins the first, and Aida flops down again, this time to lay on her back, her head turned so she can look up and over at Roa. "I'm supposed to go with Bailie at some point to a weaver that she prefers," she says. "It should be...interesting. I'm supposed to give up my boots for a nice pretty pair of flats -- I've even had them /made/. I just can't...quite bring myself to do it. You do look nice, though."
"M'not giving up my boots," Roa grumps softly. "A rider needs her boots. Any rider worth their salt will tell you so." Huff. "And I'm not wearing heels." Because if the tiny weyrwoman didn't quite have the gumption to outright complain to the Weaver Master, Aida gets to be her surrogate listener. She considers a moment, "I suppose, when necessary, flats could be all right. Sometimes." Her gaze darts quickly to where her boots sit in the corner of the room. As if they now might be pilfered away at any moment.
"Hard to run in dressy shoes," Aida points out, giving a little mock-shudder and making a face. "I don't see what's so wrong with boots. I really don't. They're comfy. They give proper ankle support. You can step on things. It's not like they're /ugly/. But apparently, they're not very feminine." She rolls her eyes, there.
"It seems to me," considers Roa dryly, "that when folks are inclined to notice femininity, it's not because they're looking at our feet. So. Boots stay." One hand lowers onto the bed to give a little thwap to the decree. She's a weyrwoman here, now. She can say these sorts of things. But not, it seems, with a straight face. Snicker.
There's laughter, for that. Aida shoves back up until she's almost sitting, weight resting back on her hands. "Good," she says. "I'll just tell anyone who bothers me about them that I'm wearing them as a show of solidarity. You should come with Bai and I, when we go. If we go. It's fun, with her. I don't mind it all so much." Weight shifts to one hand, the other coming up so she can pinch at her shirt, tugging it out a little in indication before she drops it again, sets her hand back down. "This was at her suggestion. Said I needed a softer color for the shirt, but that everything else I had was fine." Beat. "Except the boots."
"I don't know..." the skepticism is heavy in Roa's voice. "I don't think I can handle anymore clothes shopping just now. And there's that shelling gather coming up...it's more sociability than I'm equipped to deal with over such a short span of time."
Deep breath, a slow exhale of the air. Aida nods, offering over a wry smile. "Well, it probably won't be for a while," she points out. "But yeah, I understand. The gather." Nose wrinkle. "My family might be there. Is likely, to be there." Frown. "I don't know if I'm going to go."
"You're not?" Roa asks, brows lifting a bit. "Well, I suppose family -can- be terrifying," she considers. "Still, I imagine Sefton could use the support just now. Although, frankly, if I was still Telgari, I wouldn't be going either. I..." she tips her head down to study her fingers. "They're not, in general, my sort of thing."
Silence, for a moment, and then Aida is huffing another sigh and pulling a horrid face. "You're right," she comments, voice touched with something that's playfully cranky -- there's no genuine displeasure behind it. "I need to go and listen and things. They...well, I enjoy them. I like dancing, and you know I'm social. I just...am not quite in the mood for it all, right now." That last admission has the humor draining away from her tone. "You going to let me follow you around, some?"
"Please," Roa agrees softly and with a deep nod. "We can defend one another. I don't...I can't dance. I mean, I know how but I just. I -can't-. So, if you can help keep me from dancing, I can help keep you away from people you've no interest in talking with." Namely...Aida's family.
There's another moment's silence on Aida's part, and then she's offering over a small smile. "It's not so much that I don't want to talk to them, as it's...likely to be hard. They don't like what I've done with myself. But I'll stick with you, certainly. It'll make it easier on both of us. Can I come with you and Tialith, to get over there? I have...no idea, what I'm going to wear."
"Sure you can," Roa agrees, "though you may want to check with Sefton. I'd presume he has some dragon already arranged for himself. But if you don't want to arrive with...oh. I suppose he'd be showing up with Bailie anyhow." There is another, if belated, nod. "Tia and I would be happy to have you." Her eyes close. "But I don't want to think about clothes anymore."
"I don't think he'd mind me showing up with you," Aida says quietly, and then she's chuckling, shaking her head and bringing a hand up to rub a finger along the bridge of her nose. "It'll all be fun, I'm sure. We'll...yeah. It'll be fun." Another exhaled sigh, and she flops back to her back. Sitting in one position for very long, right now? Does not seem to be happening. "The distraction will probably be nice, right?"
"Hopefully. I don't seem to have very good luck at gathers." A tiny smirk. Roa broke her leg at the last one. And then the most recent...well..."But this one's at the hold, so perhaps we'll be spared appalling acts of violence just this once."
"It would be nice," Aida says, and her voice now touches towards dry. "I don't think I'm going to hold my breath, though. I will cross my fingers." With that said, her lashes drift down, cloak her eyes. "I left him."
Her mouth is opened to offer some snappy comeback to the likelihood of a safe gather, but those last words forestall that tactic. Instead Roa just asks, softly, "Oh. How come?"
"Ideological differences," she murmurs, voice lowering in volume to something only barely above a whisper. It does, at least, not sound too very strained. "Basically. I...there were things we couldn't resolve. Things about me that he couldn't deal with. We got into a fight. About Nabol." Aida's explanation is halting, now. The words aren't quite stumbled over, but it's close. "He couldn't understand how I could understand. J'cor's decision. He couldn't wrap his brain around the fact that I would have made the exact same call. It...he couldn't wrap his mind around it. Could not face it. Would not face it. I wouldn't be able to hide it from him forever. Who I am. It was better to do it now."
The weyrwoman swallows sharply, her own gaze staring up at the ceiling. "Oh," she says very softly. "Shit." There is, for a while, nothing else Roa can think to say. Then, simply, "You want to stay here tonight? Instead?" Instead of the barracks, presumably.
"It's not what you think, either," Aida points out quietly, shaking her head and pushing back up to sitting up. "It was only, officially deny, unofficially allow. I don't think they should have gone without. But...well, it was a mess. And it wasn't something we could resolve. We...view things entirely differently. Irreconcilable differences, I think they call it?" There's humor in her tone there, but it's a dark, dark humor. "I..." Deep breath, and it's exhaled heavily and in a rush. "I would. But...I've got to get used to. Well. I'm asking for a private room. I don't know if I'll be allowed or not. The cots are so small, and I've got so much stuff now."
"I have space," Roa offers. "If you want to leave some things here for now. It seems like, due to your position, you ought to have your own room. Anyhow, the offer's open. And I do understand. Disagreeing about something important with someone important. What that's like. It's awful and it...you're right. There comes a point where who you are and who they want is just too different." Roa leans back, closing her eyes. "And then, on top of it all, there's who you pretend to be."
Again, there's silence on Aida's part, and then she's turning her head to look over at Roa, her eyes a little bit wide. "You...until, I...you don't mind?" This seems even to have pulled her out of the sulk she was sinking into, the surprise and light confusion getting the better of her. "I...yeah. He...we were fine, until. Well. Until it mattered. And then we weren't. He's a good man, don't get me wrong. A very good man." Pause. "Which is why I left him." Even though she manages to put the words forth, the initial bit of shock is still dominating, and she blinks a few times at the other woman.
"I don't mind," Roa agrees. Let's tackle the easy bit first. Her hands curl a bit more tightly against one another as she asks, "You left him, because he's a good man? But you don't agree. And you think...what you believe...will damage that goodness?"
"I'm hoping it will only be a few days. But I couldn't sleep, there. It...I was hoping, that it would get easier. But it hasn't, yet." Aida offers a wry smile, glancing down. That last question has her shaking her head lightly, closing her eyes again as she exhales a soft sigh. "It's hard to explain." At least, without making herself sound terribly awful. "Br'ce is very...right or wrong. And nothing else matters. We were talking about Nabol. And I tried to explain, why J'cor made the decision that he did. That I understood it. That I would have made the same call, that it had to be made the way it was. I'm...you know we're going into a rough time, Roa. You know that we're all going to have to make rough choices. It's not so much that I'd damage the goodness as that it would kill him to ever have to face who I really am and what I'm capable of, and I know it. And I can't be with somebody who...can't take who I am, or how I view things. Even if I never have to step up and do something he'd despise if he found out about it...I tried to kill somebody once, Roa. I tried really hard."
"Really?" There is...quizzical fascination in the question. "Huh. How come? Or, actually, don't tell me if you don't want." She's staring up at the ceiling still. Hasn't stopped. "Rough times are coming," she says. "They're here. It's starting. I really pissed off D'ven."
After that little admission was made, Aida holds her breath. She really does. When Roa's response comes, it all rushes out in a breath of relief, of sudden tension released. There's even a shake that runs through her. That may just have been the most difficult thing she ever admitted to, and Roa didn't start screeching that she was a monster. This is going good. "He was, picking. On somebody. A lot. Hurt people. I got involved. He...hurt me." Pause. "Nothing happened to him for it. He kept it up." And that is apparently that; she doesn't continue, only pauses again for a moment before asking, "How'd you piss off D'ven?"
"Someone once told me that anybody threatening your safety forfeited their own right to safety. So." Shoulders lift and fall. "How come you didn't then? Kill him?" This topic, it seems, is far easier to discuss. "As for D'ven. Well. We talked about Nabol, which brought up other topics. And then I pushed too hard and got a backlash. And we haven't spoken since."
Flop, back to her back again. Aida's eyes now set up on the ceiling. "Tell me more about what happened with D'ven? Do you want me to try and fix it?" Pause. "If I can. I don't know if he'll be speaking to me. After. You know." It is, of course, that topic that is easier for /her/ to discuss, and so she latches onto that first. A soft sigh. "I tried. I thought I did. He didn't die, though."
"He didn't die," Roa agrees with a sad little smile. "No," she shakes her head sharply. "Don't. It's between me and him, and either I make it right or make an enemy, but...no. Thank you, Aida. We just..." she sighs softly. "I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't say."
"Please don't make an enemy out of him," Aida's voice softens there, a hint of a plea or a request touching her tone as she lifts her head and looks over. "You two...you're both perfect, you shouldn't be enemies. I mean, I understand, if you end up...if it ends up happening. I...things are so complex. I hate it."
"I'd rather make a Weyrleader out of him," Roa notes quietly and rather bluntly. "We'll see what happens, I suppose."
"Yeah," Aida agrees, flopping her arm over her face, covering her eyes with it. "Me too. But he's dead set against being responsible for anything. I've been pushing and pushing him, and...well, there's been /progress/. At least he's admitting he's not an incompetent idiot, now."
"In the end, it's simply not his choice. He'll get it or he won't, and then he'll deal with it either way." Roa exhales softly and shakes her head slowly.
"Yeah," Aida agrees quietly, and then...surprise surprise, she's shifting positions again, this time to push up on one arm and rest on her hip. It lets her look over at Roa again, see her face better. "He'd be good for it. If he lets Teraneth fly. I don't know what it is, that he's afraid of. There's something. I...well, I mean. You've seen, we're close. Were, at least." Insert wan smile here. "He's very competent, very intelligent. I don't think it's true, that he prefers the life he has, that he just likes being stupid, more. I think he's scared to not be. And he'd throttle me if he knew I told you that. I don't know what happened to him before, or why he shies away. There's things he just...cringes, from."
"Yes, I know," Roa only nods at the assessment of the bronzerider. "I found one, and I poked it. Hence, he's mad at me."
"Sorry. I...just want to help," Aida says, dropping back down, this time to lay on her stomach and put her forehead on crossed arms. "He'll get over it."
"I know you do. I just...I think this is between him and me. And I think it has to stay that way, or I'll only make it worse." Roa's fingers drum lightly on the furs, "You sure you don't want some wine or something? I don't usually...I mean...it just seems like maybe this is an occasion for inebriation, right here."
"If you want wine, I'm happy to drink wine," Aida tells the bed, given that's the way her face is. At least she's not mumbling into the furs. The subject of D'ven is, perhaps surprisingly, not pressed any further. "I'm okay, though. I mean, I'm fine. I'm just..." She trails off. "Maybe a bit of a mess. Am I being awkward at you?"
"I don't really. I mean. Like I said. I don't much drink, really, but..." shoulders lift and fall. "I understand it's a thing to do. In such instances." Roa's lips quirk upwards. "You're not being awkward. Trust me when I tell you that it is impossible to outmess me."
"We're such a pair," Aida comments, lifting her head up so she can set her cheek on her arms now, offer over a small smile. "Aren't we? I don't need to drink, right now, I don't think. It wouldn't help, and I'd just get sad and cry. Thing to do or not. This is all just...hard. You know? All of it is. It's nearly impossible to find the right path -- it's like this big maze."
"Course it is," Roa agrees softly. "Shells. Of -course- it is. Don't you just want to kick whoever let us grow up thinking it would be anything else?" She huffs softly. Clearly, Roa very much would like to kick said person.
There's silence, on Aida's part -- this question, it is given a good deal of consideration. Then she's chuckling softly, letting her eyes drift closed. "I didn't grow up thinking it was anything else," she replies, voice quiet. "Not precisely. I just didn't expect...all of this, either. I don't think anybody knew what I'd get myself into."
There is a slow, weary sigh from Roa as the annoyance that has leaked out is now gathered and put back in. "I guess nobody can really expect what they'll come across," she says softly. "Or even who they'll become, much as we think we have a say in it. I don't know. I'm sorry it's feeling so especially tangled now. If you want to talk it through, or just talk where someone's around to listen..."
"I think it's always been tangled, and I'm really only seeing it now," Aida says quietly, lashes lifting again as she looks over once more, offers another small smile. "And...I know, Roa. That's why I'm here, that's why I'm talking. In my own way, that's what I'm doing. It's not your fault, how much I care about making things right, here. How involved I got. We'll learn to navigate it. I know we will. Hard as it is...you know, we're two of the smartest girls around, right?"
Roa laughs softly. "Right. Except when we're the dumbest, of course." Roa's eyes drift shut. "I care too. I think you know that, but just so we're clear. I want things right, too."
"We'll figure it out," Aida points out, and her voice climbs back up to absolutely certain. "Really, Roa. Whatever we have to do, we'll figure it out, and we'll do it. And you aren't by yourself, and I'm not by /myself/, and...we'll just do it. Because we can."
"I..." Roa swallows sharply. "That's good to know," she whispers. "Ah, shells It's going to be such a mess. -Such- a mess. I mean I knew, but now, I can feel it. My insides hurt."
"I can feel it all the way to my bones," Aida agrees softly, sitting up all of the way, pulling her legs in until she's sitting cross-legged. Both hands come up, shoving her messy curls out of her face. "It's the calm before the storm, right now. But, you know? We're both good. We're both smart. Between the two of us, what /can't/ we do, right?" One hand drops, and is extended towards Roa. Maybe for a shake? "I'm here. We'll take the whole world on if we need to -- and I don't think we'll need to." How can she sound so absolutely sure of herself? So. Certain.
"It's not the matter of being able to do it. It's just the things it will cost. We're going to lose a lot, you know. Br'ce. Tiv. D'ven. All of them. Gone. Irreparably. Others too, I suspect. It can't help but be personal." Roa's slender fingers are settled in Aida's hand. "I'm not afraid of taking on the world anymore. I just..." but her mouth closes and her head shakes slightly. "It'll be worth it to a lot of people. So many. But, I'm going to have ghosts. We both are."
When Roa gives her her hand, Aida's fingers wrap around hers gently, giving a soft squeeze, then just holding on. "We are," she agrees softly. "It's going to be very hard. We don't even know, can't even imagine...not until we get there." And then she's offering a small smile, the surety visible even there. "But we'll walk the road. We'll do it. You'll do it. I know you can face whatever it is we're going to have to face. It'll be worth it in the end, no matter how much it hurts."
"I do believe that," the weyrwoman whispers with a soft and heated conviction. "Oh shells." She draws in a shuddering breath through her nose and exhales through her mouth. "Here we go."
"Here we go," Aida echoes back, squeezing Roa's fingers again. Another smile is offered, brighter. "Is there anything in particular you wish to discuss right now, or shall I shift back to the matters that are more easily talked about?"
The weyrwoman finally turns her head to regard Aida, hand still curled in the other woman's. She chews her inner lip before she notes softly. "Nabol. The added help. That was my idea."
Blink. Blink. Aida's eyes go a bit wide, and then she swallows. "Br'ce. He's asking questions, wants to look into it," she points out. "I told him to drop it. That was the second fight, we had. Because he was being a hypocrite. That..." Stare. It only takes her a moment more to digest the information, and then her expression is smoothing out, and she gives another soft squeeze to the hand in hers. "It was good that they came."
"I didn't suggest it because it was going to be good for Nabol," Roa admits with a soft sigh. "I mean I did. But, not primarily. I truly didn't think the Reaches would fly fall there again. I thought it would just be them. I thought it would get people talking."
So many thoughts. So many things that are spinning through her mind, and Aida is placid on the surface, just a little bit wide eyed. She considers the words spoken for a moment before she gives a short nod, and her lips curve up into a smile. "It did that," she says. "Br'ce, at least. I imagine he'll speak of it to others. What line of discussion do you wish to encourage?"
"Any," is the simple answer Roa provides. "They're horrible. They're wonderful. They're men. They're monsters. Everybody's got opinions, and we've been sitting on them for eleven turns. I want to hear what the Weyr says. Who wants what. This isn't about convincing. Not yet. It's about..." and for some reason this pulls a tiny smile to her lips. "...it's about keep your mouth shut. And learning."
Again, Aida is silent after Roa has spoken, mulling the words over. And again, when she has finished this consideration, she nods. "I'll keep my ears out," she agrees softly, lips curving up into a smile as well, perhaps to encourage Roa's. "And let you know what I hear, of course."
"Thank you. I'll do the same." A small smirk and shake of her head. "He's going to kill me," is murmured practically under Roa's breath. But there's no elaboration and she soon adds, "-Now-, I would like to return to safer topics. Do you need pajamas or something to sleep in, tonight?"
Just a nod. Acknowledgment, understanding. A signal that she is with the other woman, as is the squeeze of fingers before she withdraws her hand. Aida offers up a smile at those words, hand raising to ruffle through her curls once more. Safer topics. "I'll...I'm just staying here tonight, right? And stashing my stuff?" Uncertainty there, again. She's perfectly confident she can save the world, but...the personal level of things? Not so much.
"You're staying here tonight," Roa confirms, "And stashing your stuff. Company's nice. So, until you get your room, staying here's an open invitation. Although, of course, people will likely presume things." Eye roll. Ah, the unstoppable the gossip mill.
"People are going to presume things no matter what," Aida points out, shrugging her shoulders and offering a small smile. "I'd...if you don't mind me staying with you until I get my own room, I'd. Like that. I don't want to be by myself, just yet, but the dorms..." She shakes her head. "I was thinking about asking Tav and T'zen, but...well." Wry smile, there. "If you don't mind? I don't want to make things difficult for /you/."
Roa laughs softly. "I don't think Tavaly and T'zen...well...yes, that would indicate desperation. Nobody in here but me. So, so long as you don't mind that I sleep oddly and not so often, you're welcome to pitch your tent here for a bit. When it's warm, I usually just sleep outside with Tialith anyhow."
Relief washes over Aida's face, and she starts to lean towards Roa, probably for a hug. And then she stops, sits back up, offers over a sheepish smile. "Don't mind," she promises. "I...don't have the words to say thank you enough. For. Everything. You're...thank you."
"I'm not," Roa says, soft and solemn. There's a little shake of her head. "Really. I'm not." And then the moment is gone. Her eyes roll again, though it comes with a smirk, and her arms open. The hug Aida aborted, now invited.
Aida lets out a quiet little chuckle, promptly shifting her position and leaning over to take Roa up on that invitation. Cling. Squeeze. "You so are," she points out, but this time there's humor threading through her tone. "If there's anything I can ever do. You know I would."
"All right," the goldrider says softly. Which is different than 'I know' or 'I will'. She hugs back, squeezes, meeting Aida's embrace with equal strength, but no more. Then, softly, "Thank you, back."
"I mean it," Aida says, and that same certainty rings in her tone again. "Anything." And that's that. She squeezes for a moment, then lets go, sitting back up and offering another little smile. "I'm gonna go get some of my stuff. I'll...bring it over quiet like, so maybe it won't be a big deal. I'm sneaky, like a thing that is sneaky. When I want to be."
Roa rolls her eyes and snorts softly. "It won't matter. Don't worry about it. -I- don't care. But go ahead. I'll move stuff around a bit so you've got more room for your things." She's shifting away and scooting towards the edge of the bed to hop off and make good on her words. "Guess I'll see you in a bit."
Sliding off of the bed herself and to her feet, Aida eyes her boots for a moment, then doesn't bother with them. She takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly, offers over a smile. "Thanks," she says quietly. "I'll...see you in a bit, yeah." So much relief there, there really is.
Roa is already up and puttering. Consolidating things into single drawers. Pushing books to one side or another of the shelf. Getting ready. Getting busy. Getting distracted.
There's a moment of stillness; Aida stops in place, watching the weyrwoman for a long moment. Uncertain. It's all weighed in her mind, and then some abrupt thought has her dismissing that certainty, giving a shake of her head and starting to pad towards the tunnel on feet that are yet more quiet, now that they aren't in those big heavy boots.