Race You
Location: Infirmary
Time: Lunchtime on Day 18, Month 6, Turn 2
Players: T'zen, Roa, Tialith, Uneth
Scene: Roa and T'zen discuss what may have happened when he was delerious, and what a particular and potent dream might mean.
Infirmary
The infirmary is divided into two sections. The larger of these is given over to injured dragons and is joined to the bowl by an immense tunnel. No less than six stone couches fill this area, with stations between each for medical supplies and personnel. The other side of the infirmary is for human patients and is furnished with double rows of cots. A large alcove near the exit to the living cavern houses the healers' area, where they store their supplies and can retreat for a moment of quiet before wading into the battle between life and death again.
His lunch tray set aside, the contents cleared, T'zen sits as ever in his cot, propped up by pillows against the wall to a somewhat sitting position. His blonde hair hangs limp around his head and face. Sponge baths just don't do hair justice. The table near him holds a partial cube. The remaining pieces of the toy puzzle are scattered, once again, on the floor. What holds his focus now are a few scraps of hide in his lap, an ink quill held in his hand. He taps it thoughtfully, perhaps more mesmerized by the splotches it creates than the words it should. The blue tail of Uneth can be seen as it slides out of the cavern. He's off for some exercise. That, of course, is the best indicator of T'zen's health. The dragon's not playing sentinel anymore, and is heeding advice from rider and healers. Eat. Fly. Stretch.
On the dragon side, a familiar long and golden shape has remained in relatively the same position for the past few days. Ever since the fever broke and T'zen's dreams stopped, in fact. She keeps a courteous distance from Uneth and Immath, sleeping when the blue and his rider are awake, sitting silent guard while they sleep. She is currently coiled and dozing, sides rising and falling slowly.
Footfalls announce Roa's arrival, the guard Borser falling into step behind her and taking up a post by the door. The little Telgari makes her way towards T'zen, a tiny smile tipping upwards as she notices that he's awake, alert, doing things. She stoops, as she walks, to scoop up the fallen puzzle pieces, setting them lightly besides the half-cube. "Hey there," is the soft greeting given. "How do you feel?" Roa looks a little more pale than usual, dark circles underneath her eyes.
Blotch. That's another tap from the quill onto the hide. There's one line of text scribbled across this hide. He keeps up the tapping, and he'll need a new one. T'zen looks up at the goldrider's approach, and offers her a grin. "Well.." There's a pause as he considers the usual banter to toss out, and it all blanks on him. So.. "Hello, Roa." He puts the quill back in the ink well, leaving it ready and armed for the next set of blotches, and clasps his hands in his lap, just away from the hide to avoid the ink. Judging by the stains on his hands, it was a hard-learned lesson. "I'm good." That's what he tells everyone now. "Good. Aye. Got Uneth off flying again. Told him to keep me with him up there. Gonna fly one way or another." He peers at the Telgari woman now and wryly notes, "And how're you? Looks like ya missed some sleep somewhere."
The little goldrider pulls up one of the chairs that's taken up new residence near T'zen's bedside. "Weyr's still pretty crazy," Roa offers with a weak smile. "I haven't had much time or inclination to sleep just now. It'll pass in a bit." One hand lifts to wave away the query as she looks over to the hides and splotches and ink. "What are you writing, if I may ask?"
T'zen watches the goldrider closely. He doesn't immediately react as she waves away the crazy Weyr and her lack of sleep as nothing. But if the rider's somehow gained new powers of insight while bedridden, it's never made certain. He simply looks back down at the hide in front of him, not bothering to touch it. His mouth twists as he considers it. "Ah. Letter to m'folks. Got the notion from Aida. Seems we both're not much in touch with our families. But she writes." He frowns. "I'm rememberin' now why I've not bothered much with this. Can't think what to say."
Roa settles back into a chair, one leg crossing over the other and hands settling on her knees, fingers lacing together. "Hmmm..." the sound is exhaled as she considers. "When's the last time they heard from you?" Distractedly, the goldrider reaches over, scooping up the half-cube to idly pop the rest of the pieces back into place before setting the now-complete puzzle back down.
T'zen studies the blotched hide very closely as Roa asks her question. "Well. I, ah, paid them a visit shortly after the first 'Fall over 'Reaches. Made sure all was well." And brag like no tomorrow. He frowns, not looking up. "Wasn't much.. need to see them after that. Or write. Not fond of writing anyway." He glances up at Roa. "Ma sent a hide and a few things a few months ago. I knows things are still fine." His eyes happen to see the completed puzzle now, and both brows raise, before he looks suspiciously back at Roa.
Blink. Blink. Pure innocence with upraised eyebrows. That's Roa. "I'd just start by...well..." the corner of her lips hitch upwards, "Why don't you tell her about Tavaly?" Because if anything could loosen T'zen's jaws or his pen, it'd be that girl.
And here comes a surprise. The combination of Mother and Tavaly has caused the bluerider's cheeks to warm in color. He catches his lower lip, trying to will away that sudden wave of heat about his face. He finally looks back at the hide. "Ah. Yeah. I suppose." He finally picks up the hide, admiring his fine art of ink stains. "You write much? T'yer folks, I mean?"
The tiny smile becomes a bit wider as the bluerider *blushes*. Now there's something Roa will be glad she got to see, if only once. The question, though, causes her gaze to dip away, down to her hands. "I, ah, don't really. So much. Have any folks to write to." She clears her throat. "So, come on then, tell me what you're going to say? How does one describe Tavaly to a worried Ma?"
Oh, now she's playing with him. He tries to latch on to her comment, "No folks? Really?" But he's just gone a shade deeper despite his efforts to pull out of what is clearly an embarrassing notion. Dear Ma. I met this girl.. T'zen's positively glaring now. "I'm not thinkin' she's worried. I.. wasn't even gonna mention.." And he's realizing he shouldn't have said that, but fails to put the brakes on fast enough.
Roa tsks and shakes her head. "Come on, T'zen, she's important to you. Why *wouldn't* you tell your family about her? I mean, look, if you're only going to fill your letter with fluff and nonsense so you don't have to actually tell them anything true, you might as well not bother writing at all." As ever, her voice is calm. Rational. And oh so stoically avoiding returning to the topic of her kin.
Not bother writing at all. Well, if she says so. He sets the hide down on his lap, and makes a show of pushing the few hides away. "Some things are just best left alone," he says quietly, before sinking back against the pile of pillows behind him. He looks away, noting the sleeping gold dragon. "She's been here a lot, I've noticed." Sort of filling the air after his moment of silence.
The Telgari's head turns to follow T'zen's gaze. "We were worried for you for a bit there," the girl murmurs as she observes her lifemate slumber. "You came pretty close to leaving us all behind. Tia's just...well, she's funny about the ways she shows her fondness."
T'zen raises his hands to his cheeks without really thinking about it, curiously touching the warmth in his cheeks as it slowly fades. Eyes remaining on the gold dragon, he nods slowly. "So I've been told." He looks back at Roa, letting the irk that had begun before the shift in topic to drop away completely. "Not everything makes sense yet. But I knows one thing for certain. Something happened. Sudden-like. Everything's a blur. Dreams-" He pauses, closing his eyes for a moment, before reluctantly admitting, "Nightmares. Seein' people who I knows are far away.. or.." Dead. "And then.. one very strange dream. And.. nothing." He focuses on the empty dishes of his lunch tray now. "And that, to me, seems stranger."
Roa is quiet for a spell, just watching the dragon side of things. She blinks slowly and is silent long enough that T'zen might start to wonder if she even heard him at all. "Nearly dying can do funny things to a person," she says quietly. "Maybe it just wiped your head clean for a little while."
T'zen muses at this, watching Roa now after her long spell of silence. "Don't add up," he says finally. "Nearly dyin' seems to add to my dreams, not take away. This.. was different." He shifts a bit in the cot, a bit uncomfortable. "Like it weren't a dream. But it had to've been." He glances back at Tialith. "She was in it."
"Was she?" And this response...well, it comes just a little too quick. Just on the heels of that admission that 'she was in it'. Tipping her head to the side a bit, Roa again returns her gaze to the injured bluerider. "What did you dream, then?" and this is asked oh so softly.
T'zen's hand reaches out to the table, and plucks another toy off of it. A wooden runnerbeast, painted brown, though the paint around her muzzle is flaked. Too many force feedings of whatever one feeds a piece of carved wood. The toy is brought in front of T'zen, and he focuses on this. "Aye, she was. An' I don't ever recall dreamin' 'bout Tialith. Immath sometimes." There's a slight grin there, and no blushing. "She was there too. Immath. And Uneth. And.. others." He takes a breath then. "I was falling. Lost Uneth somehow. Falling right outta the sky." His voice becomes quiet. "Everyone dreams falling dreams, right? Ain't nothin' special 'bout it. And then I was on the ground. Not like landing, or hitting'r something. I was just there. And.." Despite the brightness of the day shining through the outer entrances, one can almost sense the darkness gathering about the bluerider. Almost. T'zen suddenly takes a breath. He's skipped something. "Well. There was Thread in the sky. Moving. Like hands, they were. And sometimes I'd see I'zul in it." And he laughs softly at that, scoffing at the ridiculousness of that image. Unconsciously, he's bouncing the runner toy across the sheet over his lap. Trot trot trot.
Hands in Roa's lap squeeze tightly as the goldrider just listens. She says nothing when T'zen quiets, though her eyes fall to the little runnerbeast. Watching it hop its way across the covers. She's just waiting. For the rest.
The toy pauses as T'zen sees what he's doing, and peers at the little thing. "Well. Shardin' I'zul. He's been in my dreams afore. 'Guess I'm mad enough at'm to put him there." He offers a chuckle, but his thoughts still remain in darkness. "It's gray. Everywhere. An' I see people, but they're facing away. Turning away. An' dragons." He sneaks a glance at Roa. "Like they all think I'm already dead, y'know? Not gonna watch the dead man, no." His eyes now search upwards, looking at the ceiling. An action eerily reminiscent of times he's been caught wandering late at night about the weyr when he couldn't sleep. Just watching the ceiling, waiting for something to appear. "And I was thinkin' to m'self-" But he doesn't finish, his face becoming grim. Outside, the beat of wings and vibration of the ground signals the return of Uneth. His head pokes in the entrance, seeking out T'zen with concerned eyes.
Brows draw down over blue eyes as Roa listens to this description of the imagery she's witnessed. Her focus has become a silent and intent thing until, again, the dragon side calls T'zen's attention and then Roa's own as Uneth returns. Tialith, apparently worn clean through, doesn't rouse at all. "You were thinking...?"
"Don't tell no one," T'zen whispers. Here in bed, confined, injured, weakened, brushing against death. He doesn't hold back anymore.. though his concern for image remains. "I was ready to go," he says finally. "They think I'm dead? Fine. I'm dead." He swallows hard at that. "I've never thought that before, y'know," he adds, attempting to dissuade any notion that he likes thinking about dying. "But.. it'd been so hard. Bein' here. No control. When them Thread-hands came. I figure, well enough. I've run long enough. Cheated 'em long enough. 'Guess it's my turn." He blinks rapidly, eyes shining. "Shards, girl. Y'didn't need to hear that. I'm better, y'know." He takes a deep breath, looking at Roa, and then over at Uneth. "Hey buddy. Nah. Don't worry. No, not lyin'. Roa n' Tialith 'r here, remember?" Uneth rumbles, only half-convinced, moving in to his customary sentinel spot in the infirmary and watches.
There's a faint scraping noise as Roa scoots her chair a bit closer to the cot. Close enough to lower her hand to the sheets, palm up, just in case T'zen's inclined to want something to hold onto just now. "I won't tell," she promises quietly. "And I don't mind hearing anything you want to share, okay? That'll always be true."
T'zen's strong. He can do this. Stand alone. Shardit, who's he kidding? The offered hand is taken, and held tight for a few moments before relaxing only a smidgen to a firm grip. And T'zen sits there for a moment, eyes squeezed shut, lips pressed close together. Then those features, too, are relaxed, and he seems content to lay there, connected with someone for a few moments longer. The silence is broken by a low croon from Uneth, as he watches. Eyes open again, he looks at Roa, and though he doesn't verbalize it, his eyes certainly send gratitude. "I ain't planning on Tavaly knowin' that." Fluff. Let her have fluff. Kinda like his letter to home. "She don't need to know I thought about it." He shakes his head, taking another deep breath. "But. It's when I did think it.. that things.. changed."
Roa's other hand comes up to cover the top of T'zen's, returning squeeze for squeeze. Another small glance towards the dragons, the crooning Uneth particularly, before she looks back to said dragon's rider. "Changed?" she asks, quiet.
There's a hint of a smile on the man's face as Roa covers his hand with her free one. He freely partakes of the comfort the grip on his hand conveys. "Aye. Changed. 'Cause.. not so much the dark thinkin'.. but the thread. And alone. I've.. dreampt that before. Make me so mad at Thread." He chuckles softly now, amused now at his own behavior. Too much time to reflect while stuck in a cot. Surely the man's going to have oodles of empathy for the infirmary-bound now. If he ever dares return. "But. I wasn't alone. I heard a voice. Faint." He thinks. "Aye. Odd. It was Uneth." He glances over at his dragon with a pained smile. "But he was so far away." The smile vanishes, but he still focuses on the dragons. "Then another voice. And a third. And they're all sayin' the same thing. And another voice. Ah, Tavaly's. Yes. She seemed both far and near at the same time." He pauses now. "Ya'll think I'm crazy. I swears the dragons were talkin' to me. Along with m'Tav. Immath and Tialith, along with my Uneth." Uneth merely watches him back.
The girl's hands give another convulsive squeeze as she listens. Just listens. And then, as he quiets, Roa only says softly, "Had to get you back somehow, T'zen." And then she lapses back into silence.
T'zen head turns back towards the little goldrider, his brows furrowing. "You're not sayin' it really happened, are ya? That I had three dragons in my head, instead o' one? And people. All turning back, all beckoning. And.. and you. You were right there beside me." He studies Roa closely as he says that.
The goldrider doesn't say anything for a while, though her eyes have settled on T'zen's, meeting his gaze as the tiniest of smiles trips up the corner of her mouth. "Race you," she whispers, barely audible.
T'zen's hand goes limp for a moment inbetween hers, as he just stares at Roa. Gapes. Slowly, he closes his mouth again. Slowly his fingers curl again around her hand, as he blinks out of the surprise, and glances here and there for a moment. "Sweet Faranth," he finally utters, daring to look back at Roa. "Were.. were you really there? Did.. were you seein' what I was seein'?" Shocked. Utter shock.
"We were all there," Roa murmurs, still in that so soft voice. "Uneth said he needed help, so we helped. That's all." Like it was nothing. Tidying up the weyr or fixing an extra breakfast. Her gaze flicks down and away. "Yeh," she adds after a bit. "We saw. Everything." A sharp swallow. "I'm so sorry, T'zen, that you had to carry that."
Uneth croons now. A mixture of plea and of affection. "All there." His mind races through the images of all the people he saw. He looks over at Uneth. "Love ya too, Une. You know that." Roa's hand is getting a squeeze at the same time. He looks back at her. Such as it is with dreams, there's a disconnect in his mind. "Everyone has falling dreams.." The true horror seems separate in his mind. "Ya saw me.. fall?" He almost seems amused by that. Almost horrified.
"We saw it all, 'Zen. Start to finish." There's a funny emphasis placed on the word 'all', like it's including more than just falling and running. All. Roa sighs softly. "Uneth said you'd been having those dreams for a while."
T'zen's brows come together at that. He looks over at Uneth. The dragon rumbles a bit. When he looks back at Roa, he's not smiling. Actually, he looks scared. His hand has gone limp between hers again. "Ya saw me fly Thread, then. You saw.." No, maybe she didn't. He'll still hold out hope. "What.. did you see?"
"We saw you fly thread in three cee over the Reaches. We saw what happened to M'tello and Roosteth. All of it. It must have been so awful. You were amazing. We were amazing, I suppose. We were with you." Roa isn't recoiling, isn't drawing back and isn't isn't isn't sharing the fact that those images remain behind her eyes. Whenever they close.
All hope is lost. Completely gone. He falls against the pillows again. He even looks a touch pale, a stark contrast to the earlier blush. "Shards. I.. I figured that was mine alone to carry to the grave. M'tello. Never in my life woulda guessed I'd share it. Why would I?" He closes his eyes. "There's.." Somehow, now he has to get it out, but it's difficult. "There's.. if.. if you saw. Then you know. Only one reason why I'm here. 'Cause M'tello ain't. If I'd beat him to the lead- and I was tryin', shardit." The implications are staggering. "Maybe.. maybe it'd be M'tello standin' here." He withdraws his hand now, folding it with his other over himself. "Just luck. 'S all it was. Wasn't it?"
"No," Roa leans forward a little. "No it wasn't. What happened was awful, but if you think any other blue could have made it through that opening. If you think any other rider could have kept his head and fought his way out without even once going between..." she shakes her head slowly. "That wasn't luck. That was raw talent. Your life isn't so different from anyone else's, you know. Crazier, maybe," a tiny smile, "but we're all a jumble of fate and skill. How is it Tialith picked me, hmm? How is it we happened to meet and go racing through the bowl? How is it Tavaly found Immath and then found you? Everything's a mix. And you take it and you use your skills to do something with what luck gives you. M'tello's gone, and if you begrudge him his final deed, saving your life, you belittle his memory and you dishonor a worthy rider. It's not a mistake you're here, T'zen. Never that."
"But.." And there's Uneth, trumpeting a blast of defiance at his rider, startling everyone in the infirmary. The sound of a tray clattering to the ground and various small objects rolling around is accompanied with a shriek. The place was just too quiet to expect that. T'zen likewise startles, going white. That trumpet was both outside /and/ inside his head. "By the shards, Une!" he squeaks, clapping his hands ineffectually to his ears. Directed as it was, Tialith quite likely still caught a shadow of the force of that message. WE ARE THE BEST. So, there! T'zen hovers there, hands to his ears, staring at his dragon. And he offers a nervous laugh. "Well.. well said, there. Ah." He looks back at Roa. Wherever she ended up. "Ah. You. Are right." And with dragon-ire now nearby, he's probably not going to dare sound disagreeable again. Uneth, raised on his haunches, watches back with proud defiance. Just.. try it. Somebody's impatient for his rider to get well, now.
Well. Tialith is awake now, that trumpet certainly loud enough to do it. Her head lifts, eyes blinking sleepily. What's all the ruckus? Just in time to get that cocky broadcast to which she replies, quite evenly I did beat you once. Because is Uneth going to get to live that down? No he is not.
Roa jumps at the trumpet, her own hands lifting to cover her ears and squeeze her eyes shut. Only they blink open rather quickly. "Ow," she mumbles, "Loud." and then, as the blue quiets, her hands lower and she looks back to T'zen. "I know," Roa says with a tiny smile. "I usually am, you know."
Uneth shifts his head only slightly to regard the waking gold. Well. You /are/ Tialith. As though that explains everything. And really, to the dragon who owes the gold for saving his lifemate, it means everything. But that only brings a further bit of pride, which the dragon is pushing onto his rider as much as possible. And I beat Tialith once. So, /there/.
T'zen does manage to do his little defiant pout as Roa simply accepts her own truth. His hands unfold, and find the toy runner still in his lap. He turns it over and over in his hands. "It appears the debt I owe you is greater than I can repay." Turn, little runner. "And Tavaly, I fear I owe even greater. Especially if she was there too, like you." He offers a pleading look at Roa. "What do I do?"
Tialith lifts her head perhaps a little straighter. Yes. She *is* Tialith, and it's very nice when others notice precisely what that means. Until, of course that bit about the blue winning. That earns Uneth a fond bump of golden head to blue side. Cheeky. But there is only bemusement in that thought.
"What do you do? You don't owe us anything. It wasn't done in hopes of payment. You use what you've been given as best you can. You keep yourself healthy for Tavaly, even if that means not always getting to rise to every single challenge. You use your head on occasion instead of just your gut. You just...live. And not in the shadow of what happened to three cee. It's all either of us wants in return."
Uneth raises his own head to nuzzle the gold briefly, just as fondly. T'zen watches this exchange now, lips quirking in a smirk at his dragon's cleverness. Because the blue shared it. "Live. Check. Healthy. Use my head." He scratches said head, but that was unintentionally timed. Hm. Healthy means eat. Use head instead of gut means.. not eat? Gonna have to figure this one out. He frowns a bit now. "I owe ya. And you just sayin' live don't quite cut it. But don't worry. I'll figure out how t'repay." He looks at the toy in his hand. There's meaning there. Far more than anyone would guess, save for the clue of that thoughtful look in the bluerider's eyes. He carefully sets the runner toy atop the completed cube, and gives a satisfied smile at the result. "Gonna help Tav with the weyrlings, y'know. I learned some things from M'tello." He swallows, forcing his composure to remain steady. "Thing ya don't find in the hides." His hands run over the bandages underneath sheet and gown. "And that lil' blue o' J'sek's. Mark my words. He'll be the best dragon o' the bunch." There's not even a hint of smugness, or challenge. It is simply said, quietly. "Just you watch." He reaches out now for the hides he had originally scooted away. "Ugh. I hate writing." Which is his declaration he's willing to at least try again. Funny how that works.
Small nods as T'zen speaks, that little smile sneaking back in. Her eyes follow the little runner toy, curious, but she doesn't ask just now. "I'm sure it'll all work itself out. These sorts of things usually do," Roa muses. "Areteth is the blue. He's got a bit of a limp. He could use some encouragement getting that front leg in full working order, but he's healed up fine. No reason he can't be the best of the bunch at that." Then, as T'zen picks up hide and pen, Roa pushes back her chair. "Well, I've got some of my own writing to do." Homework. Joy. "You need me for anything, just tell Tialith." Roa stands with a slow stretch. After another moment she adds, "Her highness informs me she's keeping your dreams for you. Until you're strong enough to have them back." A small roll of the Telgari's eyes.
"Good. Haven't met Areteth personally yet. Will fix that soon." He stares at the blotched hide, and finally tosses it aside to the floor. Clean start. He looks back at Roa. "Sure. It was.." Wow, thinking back on the visit is rather mind-blowing. ".. Ah. Thank you, Roa." He can start repaying with those. "Busy girl, you must be. Thanks for seein' me." He chuckles at her dragon comment. "Ha. Keepin' my dreams. That's-" He stops, blinking, and then looks over at the gold dragon. Waaait a minute..
Tialith has curled back up, eyes closing again. She'll need to be awake later, after all. Work to do.
Roa is already sauntering out, the thanks met with a backwards wave although the girl does stop, looking over her shoulder to say, "Always have time for a friend, T'zen. Keep it in mind." Then she's heading for the door, Borser pushing away from the wall and falling into step a few paces behind.
Time: Lunchtime on Day 18, Month 6, Turn 2
Players: T'zen, Roa, Tialith, Uneth
Scene: Roa and T'zen discuss what may have happened when he was delerious, and what a particular and potent dream might mean.
Infirmary
The infirmary is divided into two sections. The larger of these is given over to injured dragons and is joined to the bowl by an immense tunnel. No less than six stone couches fill this area, with stations between each for medical supplies and personnel. The other side of the infirmary is for human patients and is furnished with double rows of cots. A large alcove near the exit to the living cavern houses the healers' area, where they store their supplies and can retreat for a moment of quiet before wading into the battle between life and death again.
His lunch tray set aside, the contents cleared, T'zen sits as ever in his cot, propped up by pillows against the wall to a somewhat sitting position. His blonde hair hangs limp around his head and face. Sponge baths just don't do hair justice. The table near him holds a partial cube. The remaining pieces of the toy puzzle are scattered, once again, on the floor. What holds his focus now are a few scraps of hide in his lap, an ink quill held in his hand. He taps it thoughtfully, perhaps more mesmerized by the splotches it creates than the words it should. The blue tail of Uneth can be seen as it slides out of the cavern. He's off for some exercise. That, of course, is the best indicator of T'zen's health. The dragon's not playing sentinel anymore, and is heeding advice from rider and healers. Eat. Fly. Stretch.
On the dragon side, a familiar long and golden shape has remained in relatively the same position for the past few days. Ever since the fever broke and T'zen's dreams stopped, in fact. She keeps a courteous distance from Uneth and Immath, sleeping when the blue and his rider are awake, sitting silent guard while they sleep. She is currently coiled and dozing, sides rising and falling slowly.
Footfalls announce Roa's arrival, the guard Borser falling into step behind her and taking up a post by the door. The little Telgari makes her way towards T'zen, a tiny smile tipping upwards as she notices that he's awake, alert, doing things. She stoops, as she walks, to scoop up the fallen puzzle pieces, setting them lightly besides the half-cube. "Hey there," is the soft greeting given. "How do you feel?" Roa looks a little more pale than usual, dark circles underneath her eyes.
Blotch. That's another tap from the quill onto the hide. There's one line of text scribbled across this hide. He keeps up the tapping, and he'll need a new one. T'zen looks up at the goldrider's approach, and offers her a grin. "Well.." There's a pause as he considers the usual banter to toss out, and it all blanks on him. So.. "Hello, Roa." He puts the quill back in the ink well, leaving it ready and armed for the next set of blotches, and clasps his hands in his lap, just away from the hide to avoid the ink. Judging by the stains on his hands, it was a hard-learned lesson. "I'm good." That's what he tells everyone now. "Good. Aye. Got Uneth off flying again. Told him to keep me with him up there. Gonna fly one way or another." He peers at the Telgari woman now and wryly notes, "And how're you? Looks like ya missed some sleep somewhere."
The little goldrider pulls up one of the chairs that's taken up new residence near T'zen's bedside. "Weyr's still pretty crazy," Roa offers with a weak smile. "I haven't had much time or inclination to sleep just now. It'll pass in a bit." One hand lifts to wave away the query as she looks over to the hides and splotches and ink. "What are you writing, if I may ask?"
T'zen watches the goldrider closely. He doesn't immediately react as she waves away the crazy Weyr and her lack of sleep as nothing. But if the rider's somehow gained new powers of insight while bedridden, it's never made certain. He simply looks back down at the hide in front of him, not bothering to touch it. His mouth twists as he considers it. "Ah. Letter to m'folks. Got the notion from Aida. Seems we both're not much in touch with our families. But she writes." He frowns. "I'm rememberin' now why I've not bothered much with this. Can't think what to say."
Roa settles back into a chair, one leg crossing over the other and hands settling on her knees, fingers lacing together. "Hmmm..." the sound is exhaled as she considers. "When's the last time they heard from you?" Distractedly, the goldrider reaches over, scooping up the half-cube to idly pop the rest of the pieces back into place before setting the now-complete puzzle back down.
T'zen studies the blotched hide very closely as Roa asks her question. "Well. I, ah, paid them a visit shortly after the first 'Fall over 'Reaches. Made sure all was well." And brag like no tomorrow. He frowns, not looking up. "Wasn't much.. need to see them after that. Or write. Not fond of writing anyway." He glances up at Roa. "Ma sent a hide and a few things a few months ago. I knows things are still fine." His eyes happen to see the completed puzzle now, and both brows raise, before he looks suspiciously back at Roa.
Blink. Blink. Pure innocence with upraised eyebrows. That's Roa. "I'd just start by...well..." the corner of her lips hitch upwards, "Why don't you tell her about Tavaly?" Because if anything could loosen T'zen's jaws or his pen, it'd be that girl.
And here comes a surprise. The combination of Mother and Tavaly has caused the bluerider's cheeks to warm in color. He catches his lower lip, trying to will away that sudden wave of heat about his face. He finally looks back at the hide. "Ah. Yeah. I suppose." He finally picks up the hide, admiring his fine art of ink stains. "You write much? T'yer folks, I mean?"
The tiny smile becomes a bit wider as the bluerider *blushes*. Now there's something Roa will be glad she got to see, if only once. The question, though, causes her gaze to dip away, down to her hands. "I, ah, don't really. So much. Have any folks to write to." She clears her throat. "So, come on then, tell me what you're going to say? How does one describe Tavaly to a worried Ma?"
Oh, now she's playing with him. He tries to latch on to her comment, "No folks? Really?" But he's just gone a shade deeper despite his efforts to pull out of what is clearly an embarrassing notion. Dear Ma. I met this girl.. T'zen's positively glaring now. "I'm not thinkin' she's worried. I.. wasn't even gonna mention.." And he's realizing he shouldn't have said that, but fails to put the brakes on fast enough.
Roa tsks and shakes her head. "Come on, T'zen, she's important to you. Why *wouldn't* you tell your family about her? I mean, look, if you're only going to fill your letter with fluff and nonsense so you don't have to actually tell them anything true, you might as well not bother writing at all." As ever, her voice is calm. Rational. And oh so stoically avoiding returning to the topic of her kin.
Not bother writing at all. Well, if she says so. He sets the hide down on his lap, and makes a show of pushing the few hides away. "Some things are just best left alone," he says quietly, before sinking back against the pile of pillows behind him. He looks away, noting the sleeping gold dragon. "She's been here a lot, I've noticed." Sort of filling the air after his moment of silence.
The Telgari's head turns to follow T'zen's gaze. "We were worried for you for a bit there," the girl murmurs as she observes her lifemate slumber. "You came pretty close to leaving us all behind. Tia's just...well, she's funny about the ways she shows her fondness."
T'zen raises his hands to his cheeks without really thinking about it, curiously touching the warmth in his cheeks as it slowly fades. Eyes remaining on the gold dragon, he nods slowly. "So I've been told." He looks back at Roa, letting the irk that had begun before the shift in topic to drop away completely. "Not everything makes sense yet. But I knows one thing for certain. Something happened. Sudden-like. Everything's a blur. Dreams-" He pauses, closing his eyes for a moment, before reluctantly admitting, "Nightmares. Seein' people who I knows are far away.. or.." Dead. "And then.. one very strange dream. And.. nothing." He focuses on the empty dishes of his lunch tray now. "And that, to me, seems stranger."
Roa is quiet for a spell, just watching the dragon side of things. She blinks slowly and is silent long enough that T'zen might start to wonder if she even heard him at all. "Nearly dying can do funny things to a person," she says quietly. "Maybe it just wiped your head clean for a little while."
T'zen muses at this, watching Roa now after her long spell of silence. "Don't add up," he says finally. "Nearly dyin' seems to add to my dreams, not take away. This.. was different." He shifts a bit in the cot, a bit uncomfortable. "Like it weren't a dream. But it had to've been." He glances back at Tialith. "She was in it."
"Was she?" And this response...well, it comes just a little too quick. Just on the heels of that admission that 'she was in it'. Tipping her head to the side a bit, Roa again returns her gaze to the injured bluerider. "What did you dream, then?" and this is asked oh so softly.
T'zen's hand reaches out to the table, and plucks another toy off of it. A wooden runnerbeast, painted brown, though the paint around her muzzle is flaked. Too many force feedings of whatever one feeds a piece of carved wood. The toy is brought in front of T'zen, and he focuses on this. "Aye, she was. An' I don't ever recall dreamin' 'bout Tialith. Immath sometimes." There's a slight grin there, and no blushing. "She was there too. Immath. And Uneth. And.. others." He takes a breath then. "I was falling. Lost Uneth somehow. Falling right outta the sky." His voice becomes quiet. "Everyone dreams falling dreams, right? Ain't nothin' special 'bout it. And then I was on the ground. Not like landing, or hitting'r something. I was just there. And.." Despite the brightness of the day shining through the outer entrances, one can almost sense the darkness gathering about the bluerider. Almost. T'zen suddenly takes a breath. He's skipped something. "Well. There was Thread in the sky. Moving. Like hands, they were. And sometimes I'd see I'zul in it." And he laughs softly at that, scoffing at the ridiculousness of that image. Unconsciously, he's bouncing the runner toy across the sheet over his lap. Trot trot trot.
Hands in Roa's lap squeeze tightly as the goldrider just listens. She says nothing when T'zen quiets, though her eyes fall to the little runnerbeast. Watching it hop its way across the covers. She's just waiting. For the rest.
The toy pauses as T'zen sees what he's doing, and peers at the little thing. "Well. Shardin' I'zul. He's been in my dreams afore. 'Guess I'm mad enough at'm to put him there." He offers a chuckle, but his thoughts still remain in darkness. "It's gray. Everywhere. An' I see people, but they're facing away. Turning away. An' dragons." He sneaks a glance at Roa. "Like they all think I'm already dead, y'know? Not gonna watch the dead man, no." His eyes now search upwards, looking at the ceiling. An action eerily reminiscent of times he's been caught wandering late at night about the weyr when he couldn't sleep. Just watching the ceiling, waiting for something to appear. "And I was thinkin' to m'self-" But he doesn't finish, his face becoming grim. Outside, the beat of wings and vibration of the ground signals the return of Uneth. His head pokes in the entrance, seeking out T'zen with concerned eyes.
Brows draw down over blue eyes as Roa listens to this description of the imagery she's witnessed. Her focus has become a silent and intent thing until, again, the dragon side calls T'zen's attention and then Roa's own as Uneth returns. Tialith, apparently worn clean through, doesn't rouse at all. "You were thinking...?"
"Don't tell no one," T'zen whispers. Here in bed, confined, injured, weakened, brushing against death. He doesn't hold back anymore.. though his concern for image remains. "I was ready to go," he says finally. "They think I'm dead? Fine. I'm dead." He swallows hard at that. "I've never thought that before, y'know," he adds, attempting to dissuade any notion that he likes thinking about dying. "But.. it'd been so hard. Bein' here. No control. When them Thread-hands came. I figure, well enough. I've run long enough. Cheated 'em long enough. 'Guess it's my turn." He blinks rapidly, eyes shining. "Shards, girl. Y'didn't need to hear that. I'm better, y'know." He takes a deep breath, looking at Roa, and then over at Uneth. "Hey buddy. Nah. Don't worry. No, not lyin'. Roa n' Tialith 'r here, remember?" Uneth rumbles, only half-convinced, moving in to his customary sentinel spot in the infirmary and watches.
There's a faint scraping noise as Roa scoots her chair a bit closer to the cot. Close enough to lower her hand to the sheets, palm up, just in case T'zen's inclined to want something to hold onto just now. "I won't tell," she promises quietly. "And I don't mind hearing anything you want to share, okay? That'll always be true."
T'zen's strong. He can do this. Stand alone. Shardit, who's he kidding? The offered hand is taken, and held tight for a few moments before relaxing only a smidgen to a firm grip. And T'zen sits there for a moment, eyes squeezed shut, lips pressed close together. Then those features, too, are relaxed, and he seems content to lay there, connected with someone for a few moments longer. The silence is broken by a low croon from Uneth, as he watches. Eyes open again, he looks at Roa, and though he doesn't verbalize it, his eyes certainly send gratitude. "I ain't planning on Tavaly knowin' that." Fluff. Let her have fluff. Kinda like his letter to home. "She don't need to know I thought about it." He shakes his head, taking another deep breath. "But. It's when I did think it.. that things.. changed."
Roa's other hand comes up to cover the top of T'zen's, returning squeeze for squeeze. Another small glance towards the dragons, the crooning Uneth particularly, before she looks back to said dragon's rider. "Changed?" she asks, quiet.
There's a hint of a smile on the man's face as Roa covers his hand with her free one. He freely partakes of the comfort the grip on his hand conveys. "Aye. Changed. 'Cause.. not so much the dark thinkin'.. but the thread. And alone. I've.. dreampt that before. Make me so mad at Thread." He chuckles softly now, amused now at his own behavior. Too much time to reflect while stuck in a cot. Surely the man's going to have oodles of empathy for the infirmary-bound now. If he ever dares return. "But. I wasn't alone. I heard a voice. Faint." He thinks. "Aye. Odd. It was Uneth." He glances over at his dragon with a pained smile. "But he was so far away." The smile vanishes, but he still focuses on the dragons. "Then another voice. And a third. And they're all sayin' the same thing. And another voice. Ah, Tavaly's. Yes. She seemed both far and near at the same time." He pauses now. "Ya'll think I'm crazy. I swears the dragons were talkin' to me. Along with m'Tav. Immath and Tialith, along with my Uneth." Uneth merely watches him back.
The girl's hands give another convulsive squeeze as she listens. Just listens. And then, as he quiets, Roa only says softly, "Had to get you back somehow, T'zen." And then she lapses back into silence.
T'zen head turns back towards the little goldrider, his brows furrowing. "You're not sayin' it really happened, are ya? That I had three dragons in my head, instead o' one? And people. All turning back, all beckoning. And.. and you. You were right there beside me." He studies Roa closely as he says that.
The goldrider doesn't say anything for a while, though her eyes have settled on T'zen's, meeting his gaze as the tiniest of smiles trips up the corner of her mouth. "Race you," she whispers, barely audible.
T'zen's hand goes limp for a moment inbetween hers, as he just stares at Roa. Gapes. Slowly, he closes his mouth again. Slowly his fingers curl again around her hand, as he blinks out of the surprise, and glances here and there for a moment. "Sweet Faranth," he finally utters, daring to look back at Roa. "Were.. were you really there? Did.. were you seein' what I was seein'?" Shocked. Utter shock.
"We were all there," Roa murmurs, still in that so soft voice. "Uneth said he needed help, so we helped. That's all." Like it was nothing. Tidying up the weyr or fixing an extra breakfast. Her gaze flicks down and away. "Yeh," she adds after a bit. "We saw. Everything." A sharp swallow. "I'm so sorry, T'zen, that you had to carry that."
Uneth croons now. A mixture of plea and of affection. "All there." His mind races through the images of all the people he saw. He looks over at Uneth. "Love ya too, Une. You know that." Roa's hand is getting a squeeze at the same time. He looks back at her. Such as it is with dreams, there's a disconnect in his mind. "Everyone has falling dreams.." The true horror seems separate in his mind. "Ya saw me.. fall?" He almost seems amused by that. Almost horrified.
"We saw it all, 'Zen. Start to finish." There's a funny emphasis placed on the word 'all', like it's including more than just falling and running. All. Roa sighs softly. "Uneth said you'd been having those dreams for a while."
T'zen's brows come together at that. He looks over at Uneth. The dragon rumbles a bit. When he looks back at Roa, he's not smiling. Actually, he looks scared. His hand has gone limp between hers again. "Ya saw me fly Thread, then. You saw.." No, maybe she didn't. He'll still hold out hope. "What.. did you see?"
"We saw you fly thread in three cee over the Reaches. We saw what happened to M'tello and Roosteth. All of it. It must have been so awful. You were amazing. We were amazing, I suppose. We were with you." Roa isn't recoiling, isn't drawing back and isn't isn't isn't sharing the fact that those images remain behind her eyes. Whenever they close.
All hope is lost. Completely gone. He falls against the pillows again. He even looks a touch pale, a stark contrast to the earlier blush. "Shards. I.. I figured that was mine alone to carry to the grave. M'tello. Never in my life woulda guessed I'd share it. Why would I?" He closes his eyes. "There's.." Somehow, now he has to get it out, but it's difficult. "There's.. if.. if you saw. Then you know. Only one reason why I'm here. 'Cause M'tello ain't. If I'd beat him to the lead- and I was tryin', shardit." The implications are staggering. "Maybe.. maybe it'd be M'tello standin' here." He withdraws his hand now, folding it with his other over himself. "Just luck. 'S all it was. Wasn't it?"
"No," Roa leans forward a little. "No it wasn't. What happened was awful, but if you think any other blue could have made it through that opening. If you think any other rider could have kept his head and fought his way out without even once going between..." she shakes her head slowly. "That wasn't luck. That was raw talent. Your life isn't so different from anyone else's, you know. Crazier, maybe," a tiny smile, "but we're all a jumble of fate and skill. How is it Tialith picked me, hmm? How is it we happened to meet and go racing through the bowl? How is it Tavaly found Immath and then found you? Everything's a mix. And you take it and you use your skills to do something with what luck gives you. M'tello's gone, and if you begrudge him his final deed, saving your life, you belittle his memory and you dishonor a worthy rider. It's not a mistake you're here, T'zen. Never that."
"But.." And there's Uneth, trumpeting a blast of defiance at his rider, startling everyone in the infirmary. The sound of a tray clattering to the ground and various small objects rolling around is accompanied with a shriek. The place was just too quiet to expect that. T'zen likewise startles, going white. That trumpet was both outside /and/ inside his head. "By the shards, Une!" he squeaks, clapping his hands ineffectually to his ears. Directed as it was, Tialith quite likely still caught a shadow of the force of that message. WE ARE THE BEST. So, there! T'zen hovers there, hands to his ears, staring at his dragon. And he offers a nervous laugh. "Well.. well said, there. Ah." He looks back at Roa. Wherever she ended up. "Ah. You. Are right." And with dragon-ire now nearby, he's probably not going to dare sound disagreeable again. Uneth, raised on his haunches, watches back with proud defiance. Just.. try it. Somebody's impatient for his rider to get well, now.
Well. Tialith is awake now, that trumpet certainly loud enough to do it. Her head lifts, eyes blinking sleepily. What's all the ruckus? Just in time to get that cocky broadcast to which she replies, quite evenly I did beat you once. Because is Uneth going to get to live that down? No he is not.
Roa jumps at the trumpet, her own hands lifting to cover her ears and squeeze her eyes shut. Only they blink open rather quickly. "Ow," she mumbles, "Loud." and then, as the blue quiets, her hands lower and she looks back to T'zen. "I know," Roa says with a tiny smile. "I usually am, you know."
Uneth shifts his head only slightly to regard the waking gold. Well. You /are/ Tialith. As though that explains everything. And really, to the dragon who owes the gold for saving his lifemate, it means everything. But that only brings a further bit of pride, which the dragon is pushing onto his rider as much as possible. And I beat Tialith once. So, /there/.
T'zen does manage to do his little defiant pout as Roa simply accepts her own truth. His hands unfold, and find the toy runner still in his lap. He turns it over and over in his hands. "It appears the debt I owe you is greater than I can repay." Turn, little runner. "And Tavaly, I fear I owe even greater. Especially if she was there too, like you." He offers a pleading look at Roa. "What do I do?"
Tialith lifts her head perhaps a little straighter. Yes. She *is* Tialith, and it's very nice when others notice precisely what that means. Until, of course that bit about the blue winning. That earns Uneth a fond bump of golden head to blue side. Cheeky. But there is only bemusement in that thought.
"What do you do? You don't owe us anything. It wasn't done in hopes of payment. You use what you've been given as best you can. You keep yourself healthy for Tavaly, even if that means not always getting to rise to every single challenge. You use your head on occasion instead of just your gut. You just...live. And not in the shadow of what happened to three cee. It's all either of us wants in return."
Uneth raises his own head to nuzzle the gold briefly, just as fondly. T'zen watches this exchange now, lips quirking in a smirk at his dragon's cleverness. Because the blue shared it. "Live. Check. Healthy. Use my head." He scratches said head, but that was unintentionally timed. Hm. Healthy means eat. Use head instead of gut means.. not eat? Gonna have to figure this one out. He frowns a bit now. "I owe ya. And you just sayin' live don't quite cut it. But don't worry. I'll figure out how t'repay." He looks at the toy in his hand. There's meaning there. Far more than anyone would guess, save for the clue of that thoughtful look in the bluerider's eyes. He carefully sets the runner toy atop the completed cube, and gives a satisfied smile at the result. "Gonna help Tav with the weyrlings, y'know. I learned some things from M'tello." He swallows, forcing his composure to remain steady. "Thing ya don't find in the hides." His hands run over the bandages underneath sheet and gown. "And that lil' blue o' J'sek's. Mark my words. He'll be the best dragon o' the bunch." There's not even a hint of smugness, or challenge. It is simply said, quietly. "Just you watch." He reaches out now for the hides he had originally scooted away. "Ugh. I hate writing." Which is his declaration he's willing to at least try again. Funny how that works.
Small nods as T'zen speaks, that little smile sneaking back in. Her eyes follow the little runner toy, curious, but she doesn't ask just now. "I'm sure it'll all work itself out. These sorts of things usually do," Roa muses. "Areteth is the blue. He's got a bit of a limp. He could use some encouragement getting that front leg in full working order, but he's healed up fine. No reason he can't be the best of the bunch at that." Then, as T'zen picks up hide and pen, Roa pushes back her chair. "Well, I've got some of my own writing to do." Homework. Joy. "You need me for anything, just tell Tialith." Roa stands with a slow stretch. After another moment she adds, "Her highness informs me she's keeping your dreams for you. Until you're strong enough to have them back." A small roll of the Telgari's eyes.
"Good. Haven't met Areteth personally yet. Will fix that soon." He stares at the blotched hide, and finally tosses it aside to the floor. Clean start. He looks back at Roa. "Sure. It was.." Wow, thinking back on the visit is rather mind-blowing. ".. Ah. Thank you, Roa." He can start repaying with those. "Busy girl, you must be. Thanks for seein' me." He chuckles at her dragon comment. "Ha. Keepin' my dreams. That's-" He stops, blinking, and then looks over at the gold dragon. Waaait a minute..
Tialith has curled back up, eyes closing again. She'll need to be awake later, after all. Work to do.
Roa is already sauntering out, the thanks met with a backwards wave although the girl does stop, looking over her shoulder to say, "Always have time for a friend, T'zen. Keep it in mind." Then she's heading for the door, Borser pushing away from the wall and falling into step a few paces behind.