just some thoughts for now
had a pretty strange morning today... woke up to my mom robbing my wallet which is fine because it's usually ME robbing her, so I guess I expected it to come sometime.... haha. Not at 7 in the morning tho
Scott texted me at 8am telling me he is throwing up everywhere and then I was shitting myself stupid. Probably because I'm finally getting fiber. HAHA sorry, i'm gross. Eat shit.
Jillian Michaels is kicking my ass, but I have so much more energy now because of it. Lost more weight and gained some muscles! Watch out... soon i'm gonna look like a pro. body builder! HAHAHA yeah right. Feck that. I've been eating good, NO cheats! Using my treadmill almost daily and sweating my ass off to the collection of all the Jillian Michael DVDs everyday. It's become a routine that I just fit in everyday. I like the feeling of being healthy. I have a way to go, but I'm having a lot of fun and not dreading working out like I secretly usually do. I started in December, because one day I went upstairs and looked at my dad... and thought to myself " I don't, no CAN'T be like that at his age. " He is overweight, depressed, and lazy. His feet and legs hurt him everyday because he has no type of exercise in his life, which yeah, I know it's hard at 60 something when he STILL works more than 60 hrs a week... but I can't end up like that. I want to live a healthy life. I don't consider to be on a "diet" when people ask. It's a way of life, and i'm trying my best to change it. All I have to do is stop smoking.... but that's a lot harder than it may seem to be. I plan on getting the patch when I know i'm completely able to stop, and stop FOR GOOD. One thing at a time I suppose. Getting healthy with eating and exercise comes first... then along the way I'll get to the point of being a non-smoker again.
I've never felt like this before. I'm determined and I'm with out a doubt so much happier now than I have been in the past. Maybe it's just a mind over matter kinda thing, but I used to have so many days where I just didn't want to get out of bed because I felt so depressed. I never put myself in the category of depression, until my mom said something to me one day, not long ater my nephew died. She asked me if I was having a problem with depression and of course I was... my nephew just died... but she told me she's been seeing it in me for the past few months, even before he died. She just thought it would pass on it's own, but it only got worse after Jimmy was gone. Just in the past month 1/2 I've noticed a huge difference in my sleeping and my energy level. I wake up early with just under or just over 8 hours of sleep, when I used to sleep for 12 or 13 hours and STILL I would nap during the day whenever I got the chance. I would sleep until 2 and not even get my day started until 6 at night. I would start fights with Scott over the smallest things and blow it up into a big ordeal. I would hold onto the anger and sadness just to have something to argue about for the next time. I guess I always knew I was depressed and I just tried to hide it from myself and from the people around me. I didn't want to admit that depression was taking over me. I'm not saying I had crazy thoughts of suicide or anything that extreme... but now I can openly say that depression sucks at any level. I'm not saying that I'm "cured" or that it won't ever come back,because honestly, that would be a lie. I can say I like the way I feel. We all have our good and bad days. I think i'll always be at the risk for falling into depression, but all I can do is not let it take over my life like it has in times in the past few years. Hopeullly I can stop it when I see the first signs of it instead of being blind and denying that it's what it is.
This because wayyy longer and more in depth than expected. HAH, sorry.
ANYWAY...
Who's happy Scott Brown won a seat?! I am. EAT SHIT OBAMA. YOU AND YOUR HEALTH CARE BULL SHIT CAN EAT MY SHIT. get.real
Scott is super sick and taking up the whole left side of the couch ( MY side!! ) and I really want him to go into the bed and sleep instead of sweating his fever out on my arm rest. lol
This is already far too long.... I could probably go on for hours but I gotta go do something around here instead of type out my theories and tell you guys about how big of a deal I am. HAHAHAHA kidding. Going to pick up Sophia <3BManolis!
Later, fart knockers!
Scott texted me at 8am telling me he is throwing up everywhere and then I was shitting myself stupid. Probably because I'm finally getting fiber. HAHA sorry, i'm gross. Eat shit.
Jillian Michaels is kicking my ass, but I have so much more energy now because of it. Lost more weight and gained some muscles! Watch out... soon i'm gonna look like a pro. body builder! HAHAHA yeah right. Feck that. I've been eating good, NO cheats! Using my treadmill almost daily and sweating my ass off to the collection of all the Jillian Michael DVDs everyday. It's become a routine that I just fit in everyday. I like the feeling of being healthy. I have a way to go, but I'm having a lot of fun and not dreading working out like I secretly usually do. I started in December, because one day I went upstairs and looked at my dad... and thought to myself " I don't, no CAN'T be like that at his age. " He is overweight, depressed, and lazy. His feet and legs hurt him everyday because he has no type of exercise in his life, which yeah, I know it's hard at 60 something when he STILL works more than 60 hrs a week... but I can't end up like that. I want to live a healthy life. I don't consider to be on a "diet" when people ask. It's a way of life, and i'm trying my best to change it. All I have to do is stop smoking.... but that's a lot harder than it may seem to be. I plan on getting the patch when I know i'm completely able to stop, and stop FOR GOOD. One thing at a time I suppose. Getting healthy with eating and exercise comes first... then along the way I'll get to the point of being a non-smoker again.
I've never felt like this before. I'm determined and I'm with out a doubt so much happier now than I have been in the past. Maybe it's just a mind over matter kinda thing, but I used to have so many days where I just didn't want to get out of bed because I felt so depressed. I never put myself in the category of depression, until my mom said something to me one day, not long ater my nephew died. She asked me if I was having a problem with depression and of course I was... my nephew just died... but she told me she's been seeing it in me for the past few months, even before he died. She just thought it would pass on it's own, but it only got worse after Jimmy was gone. Just in the past month 1/2 I've noticed a huge difference in my sleeping and my energy level. I wake up early with just under or just over 8 hours of sleep, when I used to sleep for 12 or 13 hours and STILL I would nap during the day whenever I got the chance. I would sleep until 2 and not even get my day started until 6 at night. I would start fights with Scott over the smallest things and blow it up into a big ordeal. I would hold onto the anger and sadness just to have something to argue about for the next time. I guess I always knew I was depressed and I just tried to hide it from myself and from the people around me. I didn't want to admit that depression was taking over me. I'm not saying I had crazy thoughts of suicide or anything that extreme... but now I can openly say that depression sucks at any level. I'm not saying that I'm "cured" or that it won't ever come back,because honestly, that would be a lie. I can say I like the way I feel. We all have our good and bad days. I think i'll always be at the risk for falling into depression, but all I can do is not let it take over my life like it has in times in the past few years. Hopeullly I can stop it when I see the first signs of it instead of being blind and denying that it's what it is.
This because wayyy longer and more in depth than expected. HAH, sorry.
ANYWAY...
Who's happy Scott Brown won a seat?! I am. EAT SHIT OBAMA. YOU AND YOUR HEALTH CARE BULL SHIT CAN EAT MY SHIT. get.real
Scott is super sick and taking up the whole left side of the couch ( MY side!! ) and I really want him to go into the bed and sleep instead of sweating his fever out on my arm rest. lol
This is already far too long.... I could probably go on for hours but I gotta go do something around here instead of type out my theories and tell you guys about how big of a deal I am. HAHAHAHA kidding. Going to pick up Sophia <3BManolis!
Later, fart knockers!