The Horde Herald
News You Can Count On! Issue 1
NEW RACE ANNOUNCED FOR THE HORDE!
Blizzard announced today that they will be adding another new race to the Horde in their upcoming expansion to World of Warcraft, The Burning Crusade.
"We felt that the Horde just wasn't enough like the Alliance, even after giving them the Blood Elves, which we all know is just a joke and makes no sense no matter how much we tried to back it up in the story line," said Karl Homburg at today's press conference. "After all, what fun is it to play the bad guys if you're going to look that gross?"
The new race will be the Alliance's old Dwarven race, rehashed with paler skin, and called "Evil Dwarves" after their ancestors, the evil Dwarves.
"Basically, this is to further homogenize the Horde into the Alliance. That way, it doesn't matter what side you play, you'll always be like everyone else!"
Critics are not entirely shocked by this news, despite how annoyed they are. Popular Video Game Critic Hans Munchin stated "We already knew that the dwarves were playing for the other team, this just confirms it."
BLIZZARD MAKES THEIR FEELINGS TOWARD THE HORDE OFFICIAL
Blizzard announced today, along with the new race of dwarves their official feelings about the Horde.
"We just don't like them," said Karl Homburg at today's press conference. "I mean, they're ugly and stupid. The only people who play the horde are kids who listen to too much Marilyn Manson and intelligent adults who don't want to hang out with all the cool dudes."
Along with their official stance on the Horde, Blizzard announced that they are taking the Shaman class away from the Horde and giving it to all the Alliance races. When asked for an explanation, Homburg simply stated "Shamans are too cool for the horde." Horde players with Shaman characters will still be able to play their class, they just won't be able to use any of the class spells or abilities.
Other changes are being made, as well: Alliance will now have a flight path to Orgrimmar, Undercity, and Thunderbluff. There will be 3 new major Alliance towns with a large new line of quests outside of Orgrimmar, Undercity, and Thunderbluff. The flightpaths to Ratchet, Booty Bay, and Gadgetzan will be removed from the horde side. Goblin npc's will slowly be fazed out into a new race aptly named 'U'mans' which will be similar in appearance to a small human. Troll Hunters will no longer be able to use guns, and the undead will gain a new racial ability that allows them to glow in the dark called "Useless Glow."
NEW RACE ANNOUNCED FOR THE HORDE!
Blizzard announced today that they will be adding another new race to the Horde in their upcoming expansion to World of Warcraft, The Burning Crusade.
"We felt that the Horde just wasn't enough like the Alliance, even after giving them the Blood Elves, which we all know is just a joke and makes no sense no matter how much we tried to back it up in the story line," said Karl Homburg at today's press conference. "After all, what fun is it to play the bad guys if you're going to look that gross?"
The new race will be the Alliance's old Dwarven race, rehashed with paler skin, and called "Evil Dwarves" after their ancestors, the evil Dwarves.
"Basically, this is to further homogenize the Horde into the Alliance. That way, it doesn't matter what side you play, you'll always be like everyone else!"
Critics are not entirely shocked by this news, despite how annoyed they are. Popular Video Game Critic Hans Munchin stated "We already knew that the dwarves were playing for the other team, this just confirms it."
BLIZZARD MAKES THEIR FEELINGS TOWARD THE HORDE OFFICIAL
Blizzard announced today, along with the new race of dwarves their official feelings about the Horde.
"We just don't like them," said Karl Homburg at today's press conference. "I mean, they're ugly and stupid. The only people who play the horde are kids who listen to too much Marilyn Manson and intelligent adults who don't want to hang out with all the cool dudes."
Along with their official stance on the Horde, Blizzard announced that they are taking the Shaman class away from the Horde and giving it to all the Alliance races. When asked for an explanation, Homburg simply stated "Shamans are too cool for the horde." Horde players with Shaman characters will still be able to play their class, they just won't be able to use any of the class spells or abilities.
Other changes are being made, as well: Alliance will now have a flight path to Orgrimmar, Undercity, and Thunderbluff. There will be 3 new major Alliance towns with a large new line of quests outside of Orgrimmar, Undercity, and Thunderbluff. The flightpaths to Ratchet, Booty Bay, and Gadgetzan will be removed from the horde side. Goblin npc's will slowly be fazed out into a new race aptly named 'U'mans' which will be similar in appearance to a small human. Troll Hunters will no longer be able to use guns, and the undead will gain a new racial ability that allows them to glow in the dark called "Useless Glow."