Blah
That's kinda how I've felt over the last few days. Not stellar, not horrible, just kinda here. Had several things annoy me (mostly my reaction to things), and been thinking a lot about the future.
I'll admit, I'm not really one for planning. I've always been a "live in the moment" kind of guy and that's been both good and bad. It's led to some hellaciously good times and even more spectacular crash-and-burns. So when I start thinking about the future, well, me and everyone around me tends to get a little nervous.
I had a couple of showings on the house this weekend, which kinda surprised me. What *didn't* surprise me is that the first low ball "offer" was lobbed at us. Since the house has been on the market for 6 months, I was fully expecting it. Mind you, the offer wasn't completely horrendous, if I didn't have that damned equity loan it'd be a great offer, but accepting it would be an immediate $7000 loss on the house. Yeah, not happening.
Couple that with the meeting I had with my lawyer about the divorce settlement in Friday and I'm a bit ticked. Why would the lawyer get me ticked, I hear you ask. Well, it wasn't him, per se, it was me. He wanted to go over the numbers in the settlement that the financial adviser that my ex and I used for 10 years came up with. Now, she and I have looked at this proposed settlement and agreed to it. Even though I'm not really a money person, the numbers made sense. Well, the lawyer didn't see it that way, and said that it didn't look fair to him. He made a suggestion that seemed reasonable, and I agreed to it and we went on our merry way. Then I got to thinking about it, something didn't sit right but I couldn't figure out what. Until I was talking to a friend about it tonight. I know that the financial adviser that we used is a consummate professional, he would *not* have sent us a settlement that wasn't fair. So I pulled the original agreement up and read through it carefully again and saw what was going on. It pissed me off, because even though I am quite sure that my lawyer was just trying to get me a better deal, what it felt like he did was trick me into agreeing to something that was *not* a fair settlement to both of us, but something that benefited me at a cost to my ex. I honestly do not want that. I'm not out to screw her over, she's not out to screw me over (despite the "sage" advice that so many people like to give me), we both want out of this with a fair deal. So I sent a rather terse and "no discussion allowed, this is how I want you to do this" email to the lawyer this afternoon. It's likely to piss him off, but I don't care. I'm not going to take advantage of anyone, nor do I want this to draw out any longer than it already has.
I'm annoyed with myself because once again I took people at their word and didn't actually look at what they were telling me to see if it made sense. I'm bad about that, I know I am, and it's one of the things that I'm trying hard to change. I'm trying to be an all around better person, a more open and honest friend to those I consider my friends, more understanding and patient to everyone in general. And I've made a lot of progress. I'm not perfect yet, and I never will be, at least not in this plane of existence. But I've got some of the greatest friends that are helping me out, listening to me bitch, and smacking me on the back of the head when I need it. And boy, do I need it a lot, although I think they enjoy it a little *too* much sometimes. ;)
Now, I have taken some steps lately to accomplish some goals that I've made for myself. I've started looking for work back down home, on the chance that I can't keep the job I currently have and move. (It's been mentioned several times as a possibility, but I can't say that I particularly trust that, plus there's no chance of a pay raise any time soon.) Besides, if the job I applied for comes through, it's a pay raise *and* relocation assistance, which might be helpful with selling the house. That would be nice.
I guess I'm just getting impatient now, and I know it's all my fault that things aren't moving as fast as I'd like them. There's that whole "Now, now now!" thing that I'm trying to work on. I'm getting better at that, slowly but surely. This time, I've got some pretty good motivation to learn patience.
I'll admit, I'm not really one for planning. I've always been a "live in the moment" kind of guy and that's been both good and bad. It's led to some hellaciously good times and even more spectacular crash-and-burns. So when I start thinking about the future, well, me and everyone around me tends to get a little nervous.
I had a couple of showings on the house this weekend, which kinda surprised me. What *didn't* surprise me is that the first low ball "offer" was lobbed at us. Since the house has been on the market for 6 months, I was fully expecting it. Mind you, the offer wasn't completely horrendous, if I didn't have that damned equity loan it'd be a great offer, but accepting it would be an immediate $7000 loss on the house. Yeah, not happening.
Couple that with the meeting I had with my lawyer about the divorce settlement in Friday and I'm a bit ticked. Why would the lawyer get me ticked, I hear you ask. Well, it wasn't him, per se, it was me. He wanted to go over the numbers in the settlement that the financial adviser that my ex and I used for 10 years came up with. Now, she and I have looked at this proposed settlement and agreed to it. Even though I'm not really a money person, the numbers made sense. Well, the lawyer didn't see it that way, and said that it didn't look fair to him. He made a suggestion that seemed reasonable, and I agreed to it and we went on our merry way. Then I got to thinking about it, something didn't sit right but I couldn't figure out what. Until I was talking to a friend about it tonight. I know that the financial adviser that we used is a consummate professional, he would *not* have sent us a settlement that wasn't fair. So I pulled the original agreement up and read through it carefully again and saw what was going on. It pissed me off, because even though I am quite sure that my lawyer was just trying to get me a better deal, what it felt like he did was trick me into agreeing to something that was *not* a fair settlement to both of us, but something that benefited me at a cost to my ex. I honestly do not want that. I'm not out to screw her over, she's not out to screw me over (despite the "sage" advice that so many people like to give me), we both want out of this with a fair deal. So I sent a rather terse and "no discussion allowed, this is how I want you to do this" email to the lawyer this afternoon. It's likely to piss him off, but I don't care. I'm not going to take advantage of anyone, nor do I want this to draw out any longer than it already has.
I'm annoyed with myself because once again I took people at their word and didn't actually look at what they were telling me to see if it made sense. I'm bad about that, I know I am, and it's one of the things that I'm trying hard to change. I'm trying to be an all around better person, a more open and honest friend to those I consider my friends, more understanding and patient to everyone in general. And I've made a lot of progress. I'm not perfect yet, and I never will be, at least not in this plane of existence. But I've got some of the greatest friends that are helping me out, listening to me bitch, and smacking me on the back of the head when I need it. And boy, do I need it a lot, although I think they enjoy it a little *too* much sometimes. ;)
Now, I have taken some steps lately to accomplish some goals that I've made for myself. I've started looking for work back down home, on the chance that I can't keep the job I currently have and move. (It's been mentioned several times as a possibility, but I can't say that I particularly trust that, plus there's no chance of a pay raise any time soon.) Besides, if the job I applied for comes through, it's a pay raise *and* relocation assistance, which might be helpful with selling the house. That would be nice.
I guess I'm just getting impatient now, and I know it's all my fault that things aren't moving as fast as I'd like them. There's that whole "Now, now now!" thing that I'm trying to work on. I'm getting better at that, slowly but surely. This time, I've got some pretty good motivation to learn patience.