Thorny Carnations

[roadtofate]

Your words sting
Like nothing could
I see you
but
I cannot tell you
It is like you have muted me
It is like when the soundtrack
doesn't match the pictures
It is like
You are the sound mixer
In control of every little noise
Every little word
Every little sideways condolence
That you make but don't make to me
To make yourself better
From the damage you created
Hurting me more than silence can

The past, you say
Is in the past
You repeat
The past, is in the past
But is it
Since you brought it back into the present
With one single little word
And
the past
is here
Biting me on the neck
Leeching my blood
A shadow of a ghost
That aims to put an end
To the present with the past
Overthrowing dullness with knives
Which I secretly welcome

I cannot forget
Because I have not forgotten
As you bring up
With your daily presence
A festering wound
That will not heal
As you pour salt over it
As if watching over
The bleeding gap
Testing me
Hoping it would be numbed
As a gaping hole for you to hold out
To the world
For a fantasy you need
But have no guts more to feed

Spare me
You and your sun
Spare me
Or kill me