Wandering around outside the bar

[a_phd_in_dance]

Dr. Cockroach is investigating a garbage can not far from the rear entrance to the bar. What? He's a cockroach. Even cockroaches have to eat. But, he's not specifically on a food hunt this time. He's trying to figure a way into his lab. Articles such as paperclips, keys, screwdrivers, even a set of lockpicks would be appreciated at this point

Comments

[yourtieisugly]

House's second day here? Kind of a non-event. By the time he'd found his office -- a perfectly replicated fascimile, anyway, right down to the last carpet fiber -- he'd been mostly innoculated to further surprises. Amber hadn't followed him into the office, thank god, and House had spent the better part of the afternoon in his chair, trying to will the icepick headache away from the front of his skull.

Evening had come and, well, here he was: back at the entrance of the bar because he can't think of anywhere else to go.

He's about to go in when he sees a thin pair of legs hanging out of the side of a can, wobbling like daisy stems. Soft, distracted muttering from the inside of the bin. House pauses, his hand on the door, wondering if the guy or the bin are going to go over first -- maybe both.

[a_phd_in_dance]

The spindly little legs wave about a bit, then a skinny-bodied man scoots out of the can - legs, hips, middle, and one slender arm, skinny fingers curling around the lip of the can.

"Ah ha!" declares the man as he pulls his head from the can. His very cockroach-like head with bug eyes and twitching antennae that pick up in the presence of another being nearby.

"Why, hello! Amazing things can be found in these," he says and kicks at the metal can with his seemingly undersized foot.

[yourtieisugly]

House's fingers tighten on the door handle. He knows what he's seeing. He's just not sure he's actually seeing it. As a kid, he had one of those simple paper kaleidoscopes with the falling beads, the ones that made everything look like a technicolour funhouse mirror. This was like that. On acid. During a Lynch film.

"God, why did I ever leave the asylum?" he mutters.

[a_phd_in_dance]

His antennae twitter about, tasting the air. He's still searching for additional tools to unlock the door to his lab.

He blinks large eyes back at the man standing nearly as tall as himself (only shorted by virtue of not having antennae). "I assume the reason would be because you no longer needed to be there. Would you happen to have a paperclip?" he adds. He found a small nail, but needs another tool to perform his lockpicking activities.

[yourtieisugly]

House pats his pockets. "No 'sharps'," he says. "Ward rules."

He's still trying to wrap his head around the other guy's head. The large, bulbous eyes are as large as dinner plates, fixed in the center of a candy-coloured head that looks kind of, well, kind of like an exoskeleton.

"You are aware that you're a cockroach."

[a_phd_in_dance]

He waves an animated hand. "Yes, yes. Result of a less than successful experiment. And I need to unlock my lab."

[yourtieisugly]

"Uh huh." Well, just so they were clear.

His own figurative antennae come up when the guy (insect) mentions a lab.

"You're an insect and a scientist?"

[a_phd_in_dance]

"Of course I'm a scientist!" he snaps, as though the lab coat wasn't enough of a giveaway. "The insect part was an accident."

[yourtieisugly]

"Was losing your keys part of the same accident?"

[a_phd_in_dance]

"I haven't lost my keys." He holds up a ring of keys. "However, the lock on the door to my lab seems to have changed as well as the building it once resided in and the entire town it belongs to."

[yourtieisugly]

"I hear that's a common thing around here," he says. "I used to know a guy who could pick a lock like there was no tomorrow. But unless the universe has the NAACP on speed-dial, it looks like you're gonna' have to take care of it on your own."

[a_phd_in_dance]

"So that's a 'no' on the paperclip, then?" He shrugs. "Any idea on where I might get one?"

He's still searching the immediate area for anything potentially useful.

[yourtieisugly]

"What's in your lab that's so important to get back to? You got a Twinkie in there you're looking to spend the nuclear holocaust with?"

[a_phd_in_dance]

"Oh! Cockroach humor! Very funny." He narrows his large eyes at this other man. "My work is in there. I am actually interested in reversing this condition. I've been living like this for the last fifty years. Most of that spent in a secret government facility."

[yourtieisugly]

"You must've picked up on some pretty top secret stuff, then. 'Like why I'm always waiting in line for at least three hours when I go to the DMV. Or how Mylie Cyrus got so popular."

[a_phd_in_dance]

"I'm afraid only one of those has to do with the government and that was even more top secret than my friends and I." He waves a hand. "The Department of Motor Vehicles is run by the devil. You figure that one out."