Fanfiction: Homecoming - Part 3
Summary: Bill Adama comes home on leave and finds that life on the homefront is starting to change.
Characters: Bill and Lee
Setting: Takes place primarily about 20 years before the Colonial Holocaust, then jumps forward and finishes shortly after episode 5, “You Can’t Go Home Again.”
Rating: PG
Disclaimer:Based upon characters and situations created by Glen Larson and Ron Moore, and the other staff writers of “Battlestar Galactica”, past and present. They are my heroes and I'm just playing in their sandbox.
Chapter 3
It was still not even quite dawn when a nurse removed the ice pack from Lee’s arm to get a look at how they were progressing with the swelling. Caroline leaned over to see for herself and smiled. The swelling was noticeably reduced and she passed that news along to her son.
“It’s looking good,” she told Lee. “Maybe another hour or so, and I think they’ll be able to finish up.”
The nurse nodded her agreement. “I think so. Lee, we’ll let your arm breathe for about 15 minutes or so, and then put the cold pack back on. Okay?”
Behind them, Doctor Bernard came back into the room with another woman who was dressed in a civilian business suite. She was an attractive woman in her mid-forties with a comforting smile. They directly addressed their patient instead of his mother. “Lee, this is Doctor Warner,” Dr. Bernard told him. “She just wants to ask you a few questions. We’re going to have your mother step outside with me for a little bit while the two of you talk. All right?”
Caroline glanced suspiciously between the two doctors, but didn’t want to say anything to alarm her child. To her son she said, “I’ll be right back Lee. You go ahead and talk with the doctor.” She smiled at him, masking any suspicion from her face until she was outside the room. But as soon as she was beyond Lee’s sight and hearing she asked Dr. Bernard, “What’s going on?”
Dr. Bernard told her solemnly, “We just have a few questions regarding the nature of your son’s accident.”
“Excuse me?” Caroline asked. She didn’t like the sound of this at all. “What kind of questions?”
“I think you should wait to discuss this with Doctor Warner after she has had a chance to talk to Lee.”
Caroline crossed her arms. “Exactly what kind of doctor is she?”
Doctor Bernard explained, “Doctor Warner is our resident pediatric psychologist, and she also works with the Department of Family Services.”
Caroline felt the color drain from her face. She herself had worked in the medical community and she understood exactly what was happening. She just couldn’t believe it was happening to her. “You think that Lee has been abused?” she asked in a tight voice.
“We aren’t making any accusations Mrs. Adama,” Dr. Bernard.
She shook her head in disbelief. “Not yet, but that’s exactly what Doctor Warner is asking Lee isn’t it?”
Zak had fallen right off to sleep as soon as William put him back to bed, but William himself had been too restless to lie down. He settled in on the sofa and switched on the broadcast box, flipping channels idly until he came across an old movie that he hadn’t seen in years. After just a few minutes, he was only paying scant attention to the old flick, his mind drifting. Eventually he dozed off, but it was not a restful sleep. He was roused from a shallow dream when the movie ended and was followed by an infomercial whose sound volume was dramatically higher than the regular programming. He blinked and rubbed his eyes. The sun was coming up. He checked his watch, realizing it had been almost three hours since he’d left Caroline and Lee at the hospital. The doctor had said it could be several hours before they could set Lee’s arm into a cast, but William had still half-expected Caroline to call with updates in the interim. Then he remembered Zak. It was still quite early and Zak was still sound asleep. If they were still waiting for the swelling in Lee’s arm to subside, Caroline might well avoid calling William so as not to waken Zak.
William flipped through a few more channels, but found little to watch aside from more infomercials. Frowning, he hit the power button on the remote and heaved himself to his feet. Shuffling to the kitchen, William switched on the coffee maker. While waiting for the pot to brew, he found himself studying the collection of drawings decorating the refrigerator. A lone viper in flight. A squadron in formation. A viper launching from a battlestar. William smiled. Zak’s fascination with vipers was obvious, not to mention his penchant for drawing. He knew that Lee’s interest in flying was just as acute, but William’s eldest son was much more practical about it. While Zak fantasized about being a pilot through his artwork, sometimes to the detriment of his schoolwork, Lee immersed himself in his studies and in sports, actively preparing himself both mentally and physically for the challenges of a military career. William didn’t want to dampen Zak’s enthusiasm, but he wondered if perhaps he should have a talk with Zak. Childhood fantasies were all well and good, but they would never become reality if Zak didn’t learn to set the distractions aside and focus on his priorities. The boy would have to start accepting that math and science were more important for pilots than art.
His two boys were so different. Lee was the driven one, while Zak was a dreamer. Lee seldom needed to be instructed on anything more than once, while Zak frequently needed to be led by the hand to stay on course. Caroline did a fine job with the boys, but William still wished he could play a more consistent role in their upbringing. He was away from home so much. Still, so long as Lee continued to set a good example for his younger brother, William felt a little better about Zak’s prospects. That was what made William so uneasy about the events of the previous night. Lee had let him down. Lee had broken his father’s trust. What had Lee been doing in the middle of the night, and why did he refuse to own up to his actions? Was Lee starting to go through a rebellious phase? The last thing Zak needed was to see his older brother becoming a troublemaker. The younger boy would undoubtedly follow suit. Both boys could have such bright and honorable futures ahead of them in the service of the Colonial Fleet if they could just stay focused. Whatever Lee had been up to, William knew he would have to get to the bottom of it and put a stop to it right away. The guilt William had felt earlier at the hospital over his reprimands to Lee was replaced now by a solemn resolve. There could be no wavering on this matter. He would not tolerate any such behavior from his children.
“Daddy?”
Zak’s voice surprised William. He’d been certain that Zak was still sound asleep. “Hey there Warrior,” he greeted his youngest. “Couldn’t sleep?”
Zak shrugged. “Are we still taking Mommy out to breakfast this morning?”
William checked his watch. “Well, I don’t know Zak. I guess that depends on how soon Lee is able to leave the hospital. You hungry?”
Zak nodded.
William wasn’t sure what to do at first. He doubted that either Caroline or Lee would get anything to eat at the hospital. They would both need to eat as soon as Lee was released, but Lee might not feel up to going out anywhere. The boy would undoubtedly be tired and hurting and should probably be put right back to bed. And it could still be hours before Lee was able to come home. William finally decided there was no point in making Zak go hungry in the meantime.
“All right,” he said, “let’s see what we can find you for breakfast.”
“What about Mommy and Lee?”
“I’ll make something for them when I bring them home. How about some eggs?”
William’s culinary talents were limited, but he did know how to scramble a few eggs. He had been a bachelor once, after all, and bachelors have to eat too. Though, while on duty aboard a battlestar the kitchens were manned by a large, efficient staff of cooks who kept the entire crew fed three square meals a day. He served up the eggs for Zak, with a couple pieces of toast, and by then found his own stomach starting to growl. He went ahead and tossed a few more eggs in the skillet for himself.
After eating, he sent Zak off to get dressed and washed up. His eyes flicked back up to the clock. Still no word from Caroline. He told himself that no news was good news, and that he just needed to be patient. There was no cause for worry. Surely, if there had been a problem with Lee, Caroline would have called. He took the time to catch his own shower and don a fresh set of clothes, then settled in on the couch with Zak trying to find something on the broadcast box that they both could watch.
It wasn’t until mid-morning that the phone finally rang. William had been watching the clock nervously off and on all morning, and had just begun to get genuinely worried over the lack of news. He jumped up from the couch to grab for the phone. “Hello?”
“Bill, it’s me,” Caroline’s voice announced, sounding a bit odd. Her voice was tense and low. “Lee is about ready to come home. Why don’t you drop Zak off with the neighbors and then come get us.”
“Zak’s wide awake,” he told his wife. “He’s been up since dawn. I’ll just bring him along.”
“No,” she said sharply. “Let him stay with the Mormonts. We need to talk. I’ll meet you out in front of the ER.”
William felt a chill run down his spine. Something was wrong. “Is Lee all right?”
“He will be,” she said cryptically, then hung up.
William hung up the receiver slowly. What in Kobol’s mercy was going on?
“Was that Mommy?” Zak asked.
“Yes,” William answered. “Um... Lee is ready to come home, but there’s some... paperwork and things that need to be taken care of. Zak, I want you to stay with the neighbors while I go back to the hospital and finish up with the doctor.”
“I wanna see Lee,” Zak protested.
“You’ll see him soon enough,” William declared.
“Why can’t I go with you?”
“They’re very busy over there now Zak,” William answered testily. “I can’t be keeping one eye on you while you try to wander off to go exploring. And don’t try to tell me you wouldn’t. Mommy and Lee will both be home very shortly.”
“But...”
“Enough Zak! A warrior does not question his orders. Now let’s go.” He grabbed the keys and strode toward the front door. Zak followed, sullenly, shuffling his feet over the short distance to the neighbor’s residence.
An attractive young brunette with curly hair answered the door very promptly after William knocked. “Good morning,” William greeted her, suddenly realizing that he had no idea what her name was.
“Oh, Captain Adama... good morning,” she said cheerily. “I know we’ve never met, but I recognize you from all the family pictures. I’m Sheila Mormont.” She extended her hand in greeting and William shook it firmly. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Good morning, Zak.”
“Hi Mrs. Mormont,” Zak replied. “Can Peter play?”
“He’s in his room, but I think you’d better ask your father...”
“Actually Mrs. Mormont....”
“Please call me Sheila.”
“Sheila... I was hoping that you wouldn’t mind if Zak stayed here with you for a little while. I need to fetch Lee and Caroline home from the hospital.”
Her face showed immediate concern. “Nothing serious I hope.”
“Lee broke his arm,” Zak announced.
Sheila Mormont winced. From behind her, another young voice asked, “He broke it?” A young boy about Lee’s age stepped forward to stand beside his mother in the doorway.
“Yeah,” Zak told the boy, sounding morbidly excited about the previous night’s events. “And it got all swolled up, so they had to keep him at the hospital all night.”
“Ewww,” the neighbor boy responded. “He said it didn’t even hurt that much.”
“Excuse me?” William asked.
“Oh Captain, I’m sorry,” Sheila said. “This is my son, Peter. He and Lee play together all the time. Peter, this is Lee’s father, the famous ‘Husker’ Adama.”
A large grin broke out across the boy’s face. “Hello Sir,” he said.
“Hello Peter,” William said, suddenly realizing this was the boy whom he’d been so concerned might be a bad influence on Lee. He certainly didn’t look like a neighborhood hoodlum. He just looked like any regular nine-year old kid. But there was the matter of what Peter had just said that worried him. “You said that Lee told you his arm didn’t hurt much?”
Peter nodded. “Yeah. He said it was sore, but that it was no big deal. We all thought he just twisted it a little.”
“We?” William questioned him further. “Who is ‘we’? And when was this?”
“Yesterday,” Peter answered. “When we... Lee and Jack and Steve and me... we were playing ground ball, like we always do. Lee had the ball and Jack tagged him. He landed kinda hard and said his arm hurt a little, but he got right back up. He even tried to run a few more plays before he said his arm was too sore... but we didn’t think it was broken.”
“And this was yesterday... afternoon?” William asked.
“Yes sir,” Peter answered.
William’s stomach did a summersault, but he managed to hide it from his face.
“He’s okay, isn’t he?” Peter asked.
“He’ll be fine,” William answered. “Though, he won’t be playing ground ball with you for about a month or so. I’m going to go pick him up right now,” he turned his attention back to Peter’s mother, “assuming you don’t mind looking after Zak for a bit.”
“No, of course not,” she told him with a warm smile. “Peter, why don’t you and Zak go play in your room, okay? Captain, please tell Lee that we’re hoping he feels better soon.”
“I will. Thank you.”
Zak scampered off after Peter and William headed off alone to the family car. He slipped behind the wheel and pulled the door shut with a loud bang. Then he sat for several long seconds just staring straight ahead.
Lee had broken his arm while playing with his friends, then come into the house... and said nothing to his parents. He’d told them he had homework instead of revealing the fact that he was hurt. It explained so many things. It explained Lee’s total loss of appetite at the dinner table. William was certain now that Sheila Mormont had never baked any cookies, or even if she had, Lee had not spoiled his appetite on them. It explained Lee’s moodiness and his desire to leave the table, hiding out in his room, even turning down dessert. It also explained why the arm was already so swollen when they took him to the hospital. But despite every question answered, William was still left with one. “Why?” Why had Lee intentionally hid his injury from his parents until Zak tattled on him in the middle of the night? It made no sense. The boy had been in pain for hours. Why didn’t he just say something?
William finally turned the ignition and started the car moving. He still felt rattled by Peter’s revelation, but Caroline was waiting for him so he didn’t want to keep dawdling in the driveway. He guessed now what Caroline wanted to talk to him about before they took Lee home. He caught a red light at the same intersection where they’d had to wait the night before. Waiting again for the light to change, William was vividly reminded of the accusations he’d made to Lee at that very same spot.
“Were you sneaking to the kitchen, since you didn’t eat your dinner when you were supposed to?”
“No.”
“Were you trying to sneak out with that neighbor boy...Peter?”
“No!” Lee insisted, his voice breaking.
“I want an answer,” William declared.
William had his answer now, but it didn’t make him feel any better.
Caroline was pacing on the sidewalk when William arrived at the hospital a short while later. “We need to talk,” she said grimly as he approached.
“I know,” he told her. “I talked to Peter when I was dropping Zak off. He told me how Lee hurt his arm.”
She tilted her head. With biting sarcasm, she said, “You realize you just left your youngest, impressionable son in the home of a foul-mouthed sot?”
Fine. William knew he’d over-reacted earlier with his impressions of the Mormont family, but William refused to take the bait. “Caroline, are we going to talk or fight?”
She closed her eyes and took a very deep breath. To his amazement, William suddenly realized she was crying though she was trying very hard to stay in control. He also noted that she looked very, very tired. “Bill...,” she said in shaking voice. “I just spent two hours this morning talking to a military marshal and a pediatric psychologist from the Department of Family Services... trying to convince them that we do not beat our children... and that you were not the one who broke Lee’s arm.”
William’s jaw dropped. “Wh-what?” he stammered. “Wh-why the frak would they think --- Lee was playing...”
“I know that!” she half-yelled, then caught herself, and forced a sense of calm back into her voice. “I know what happened now. Lee finally explained. The doctors were just being cautious. When they saw something suspicious, they had to look into it.”
“What’s suspicious about a boy playing a game of ground ball?” William asked, still utterly mystified. “Little boys fall down all the time.”
Caroline hugged her arms about herself tightly. “They saw a boy with a broken arm... who had gone nearly ten hours without his parents seeking any medical aid... whose parents could not readily provide the doctors with an answer as to how the injury occurred... and who was overheard in the emergency room apologizing to his father for making him angry.”
William felt as though he had just been kicked in the gut. For several seconds he even found it difficult to breathe. “I... I would never... EVER...”
“I know that,” Caroline said again, though this time she just sounded plainly exhausted. “I talked with the doctor from Family Services... and the marshal... and after they interviewed Lee a couple of times, they were finally satisfied the situation was nothing for them to be concerned about. However, the doctor did suggest that we consider family counseling.”
William shook his head, growing angry now that the shock had begun to recede. “Great! They realize they made unfounded accusations, but still want to keep their noses stuck into our business. I suppose if we decline, they’ll also consider that ‘suspicious’.”
Caroline’s shoulders drooped with fatigue. “She was concerned... as am I... that our son chose to hide from us the fact that he was injured. Don’t you find that just a little bit alarming Bill?”
“That doesn’t mean we need a headshrinker dissecting our private lives,” he answered, dodging the question slightly. “Lee’s a tough little warrior.”
Caroline cringed. “He is not a warrior! He’s a nine year-old boy! Good Lords Bill, you almost sound like you’re proud of the fact he landed himself in the hospital!”
“Don’t be absurd. I don’t want Lee here any more than you do!”
“Lee never hides anything from me. Aren’t you even curious about why he tried to hide this from us? Doesn’t that matter to you?”
How could she ask that? William had puzzled constantly over just that question since the moment he’d left the Mormonts’ front door. “Of course,” he responded gruffly. “Did he explain it?”
“The psychologist asked him, when she was trying to determine why we didn’t bring him to a doctor sooner.”
“What did he say?”
Caroline’s gaze dropped to the ground. It was several seconds before she answered. “He said... he said it was because of you. If you hadn’t been home, he would have told me... but he was afraid of being a disappointment to you. He didn’t know his arm was actually broken. He thought it was just twisted, maybe sprained. He didn’t want to complain about it with you at home, because you would think he was weak... and you would be ashamed of him. So he did what he thought you would want him to do... be a tough little warrior.” Those last words had been spoken harshly and on the verge of more tears.
For a long time, William could not voice a reply. Just last night over dinner he had asked himself, “Am I the reason Lee is so uneasy tonight? Does it make him that uncomfortable to have me home?” Apparently, Lee was uneasy enough that he was even afraid to reveal the fact that he was injured.
He would have told Caroline. But not me.
“Your son is afraid of you Bill,” Caroline said pointedly. She held up a hand to fend off his immediate denial. “He isn’t afraid that you’ll beat him. He knows you won’t hurt him. But he is afraid that you won’t love him unless he shows you that he’s the perfect little warrior you’ve always tried to mold him into being since the day he was born. But he isn’t a warrior Bill! Not yet! He’s a child, who right now just needs to know that his father loves him, and will always love him, no matter how imperfect he may turn out to be.”
William rubbed at his eyes and looked skyward for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts and settle his churning nerves. “Did you... did you tell him... that I love him?”
She regarded him with a serious eye. “That’s your job. I told him that I love him, no matter what, and that there should never ever be anything that he should be afraid to tell me. Now it’s your turn.”
William simply nodded by way of reply and walked deliberately toward the emergency room door. Caroline fell into step right beside him. As they passed into the bustling waiting area William realized how fortunate they had been the night before that the doctors had been able to tend to Lee right away. The ER was much busier now, with numerous patients and families all waiting for treatment. Nearing the nurses’ station, William thought he detected a few suspicious and hostile looks being thrown in his direction by the staff... or was that just his imagination?
He asked his wife, “Does Lee know... does he understand what all the questions and interviews were about?”
Wearily, she replied, “Of course he does. He’s a smart boy.”
William had to make a concerted effort at keeping his expression neutral. He was worried that any show of nerves would be misinterpreted as guilt, so he tried to look as unconcerned as he possibly could and just portray the relieved father who had come to take his boy home. He even managed a smile when he stepped into the examination room where Lee was waiting.
Lee was not alone, nor was he lying down anymore. He was sitting up on the edge of his bed, facing his new roommate. The other bed was now occupied, but the curtain between the beds was not drawn over for privacy. An elderly woman was lying in the other bed, with an oxygen mask covering her nose and mouth. A young petty officer was sitting beside her, probably the woman’s son. The enlisted man held the old woman’s hand, but both he and the old woman were turned toward Lee, listening to him as the boy told them a story.
Lee told his audience, “Apollo was so outraged over what Pytho had done to his mother that he went to one of the older Lords, Hephaestus, and begged him for a weapon that could kill Pytho. Even though Apollo was still just a boy, Hepahaestus gave him a bow, and Apollo used it used to hunt down Pytho, shooting him a thousand times. And it was because he showed so much skill at such a young age that he gained recognition as one of the great Lords, and was called the Great Hunter.”
“You really have been keeping up your history lessons,” William commented with a smile toward his son.
Lee’s face and his voice had been rather animated while passing on the tale of the ancient Kobolian lord to his small audience. The boy looked like he’d really been enjoying himself, but upon seeing his father, his demeanor immediately changed. He sat up a little straighter and his expression grew serious. William noted the change in his son with no small measure of disappointment.
The young petty officer stood quickly to attention and saluted the senior officer. “Good morning, Captain.”
William returned the salute almost by reflex, but told the young man, “We’re not on duty here. Please sit down and relax.”
“Thank you, sir,” the petty officer said, returning to his seat. “I guess you’re here to take Lee home.”
“Yes,” William replied, walking over to stand beside Lee’s bed. He looked questioningly at his wife. “Any last minute details we need to cover with the doctor before we can go?”
“No,” she answered. “I’ve already covered everything. We were just waiting on the chauffeur.”
William turned his attention back toward his son. Lee’s left arm, from just below the elbow to down over his hand was wrapped now in a cast, and he was wearing a sling to bear the weight more comfortably. He looked a little tired, but had seemed to be in good spirits... at least he had been before William walked in. William wanted to say something to his son, something to put the boy at ease around him. He recalled how he had earlier promised himself, twice, that he would give Lee a proper hug, and he recalled Caroline’s admonishment that he needed to let Lee know that he truly loved him. But now that the moment for just such actions appeared to be presenting itself, William found himself hesitating. He hadn’t anticipated having an audience of strangers in the room, watching. So for the time being, he did nothing.
“Well Lee, I know you’re anxious to go home,” the old woman in the adjacent bed spoke up. Her voice was slightly muffled by the oxygen mask, but she was smiling. “Selfishly though, I wish you weren’t going so soon.” Her eyes looked up toward William’s. “You’ve got a very special boy there Captain. He’s been excellent company.”
“Thank you,” Caroline answered. She retrieved Lee’s coat from a chair beside his bed.
Lee slid down off the edge of the bed, standing up. “I hope you feel better soon Helen,” he told the old woman.
She smiled back at him. “I already do. Take care of that arm.”
“I will,” he told her. Caroline draped the coat around his shoulders and they started walking toward the door.
William followed his wife and son from the hospital, just as he had followed them out of the house earlier that morning. He walked just a few steps behind, while Caroline walked right beside Lee, her arm around his shoulders. It was obvious to William that there was such a close, easy bond between his son and wife. There were no walls between them. Lee had even been relaxed and chatty with two complete strangers in the emergency room. But with his father he was immediately on guard, reserved, and afraid to speak his mind. Around William, Lee acted like... well... like a junior officer addressing his senior.
It’s what I’ve taught him, William realized. Be strong. Stay focused. Follow orders. He doesn’t play and laugh around me anymore, because that’s not the way a warrior behaves. And he knows that’s what I expect of him. But I never expected it this soon. Caroline’s right. He’s not a warrior yet. He’ll make a fine one when the time comes, but he doesn’t have to live that way now.
But how the hell could he explain all this to Lee? What the heck could he say? He did want Lee to be grown up and responsible, to stay strong and focused, and be a good model for his little brother. He wanted Lee to respect him, and follow his instructions properly the first time. But somewhere along the line, in teaching Lee how to respect him, William knew he had failed to teach Lee how to love him. How could he possibly begin to amend that? The answer came to William as soon as he pondered the question. He had to teach Lee that he was loved.
Caroline’s words echoed in William’s head. “I told him that I love him, no matter what, and that there should never, ever, be anything that he should be afraid to tell me.”
Now, William knew, it was his turn. But not right here. Not right now. It was too noisy and crowded at the hospital. This was something that required privacy between him and his son. As soon as they got home, William promised himself, he would have a talk with Lee, and give him that overdue hug.
Lee was yawning broadly when the car pulled in to the driveway. He’d very nearly fallen asleep during the short drive home. Caroline took him inside to get him settled while William retrieved Zak from the Mormonts’ house. Zak boisterously tried to dash home to see his brother, but William managed to rein him in, warning him that Lee was very tired and would need to rest.
“Does that mean we’re not going to the beach today?” Zak asked.
“Not today, son.”
Zak frowned in disappointment. Zak’s mood, however, didn’t stay down for long. Despite William’s attempt to tone Zak down a little, the youngest Adama still hurried straight to the bedroom to bombard Lee with questions about his brief hospital stay.
From the hallway outside the boys’ room William could hear Zak asking, “Did you see anybody who’d got shot?” and “Was there a lot of blood?”
“No Zak,” Lee told his brother patiently. “I didn’t see anything like that. Just an old lady in the bed next to me who had pneumonia.”
“Aw,” Zak whined in disappointment.
Boys, William chuckled. Leaving his sons to their reunion, William headed off to the kitchen to catch up with Caroline. She was standing in front of the open refrigerator door, examining the inventory. “I doubted that you would have had any breakfast at the hospital,” he told her. “Did Lee get anything to eat?”
She nodded, with a grin. “They brought him some bland eggs and toast. He wasn’t thrilled with it, but he ate it. I thought I’d go ahead and make him some pancakes though. He didn’t eat much last night, after all, so he could probably use a decent meal.”
“Why don’t you let me handle that?” he suggested. “This was supposed to be your day off.”
“I’ll take a rain check,” she replied, taking out a large bottle of milk, some eggs, and a tub of butter. “Besides, isn’t there something else you should be doing right now?”
William rubbed at the back of his neck. “Zak is still interrogating him about the emergency room.”
Caroline pulled open the door to the pantry to locate the box of pancake mix. “I’m sure Zak would step outside if you asked him to.” She found the box and a cylinder of ground cinnamon. “Then again, maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea if both boys were involved in the conversation.” Hands full, she used her foot to push the pantry door shut.
William shifted uneasily. “I don’t think that’s necessary. Besides, I’ll have to talk to Lee about the accusations the doctors were making and Zak doesn’t need to hear about that.”
Caroline retrieved a mixing bowl from a cupboard. “But he will hear about it,” she sighed. “Lee will tell him. They tell each other everything. Besides, keeping unnecessary secrets was precisely what made this whole situation so much worse than it needed to be. I would think we wouldn’t want to encourage that practice any more.”
“Fair enough,” William conceded. “But... let the boys have their chatter session so they can both settle down. And like you said, Lee hasn’t had a decent meal in almost 24 hours and he was up all night. I think we ought to just let him relax, get some food into him... and let him sleep for a bit. He practically fell asleep in the car.”
Caroline shook her head, but kept her attention on preparing the pancake batter. “You’re not fooling anyone Bill.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re stalling.”
“I’m not stalling,” he said defensively. “He just got home from the hospital. Any kid would find that traumatic. I just want to give him a little break.”
Caroline turned to face her husband. “A break from what?”
“If I go in there now, he’s going to think he’s in for another lecture.”
“Then surprise him,” she said pointedly. “Put his mind at ease instead. He’ll rest a lot better knowing that his father loves him and would never be ashamed of him for not being combat-ready at age nine.” She turned her back to her husband and continued preparing breakfast for herself and Lee.
William fumed for a bit, but didn’t try to argue with his wife. How could he? She was right. He was stalling. He left the kitchen and walked toward the boys’ bedroom but stopped in the hallway instead. He could hear the boys’ voices, chattering away. He couldn’t quite hear what they were talking about, but to his surprise he even heard them both laugh. Lee’s laugh was just as loud as Zak’s. Sadly, William realized he couldn’t remember the last time he had heard Lee laugh. He stood for several seconds, just listening, reluctant to intrude. Finally, he stepped up and rapped a knuckle on the door before turning the knob and leaning into the room. Zak was still giggling, pen in hand, as he tried to draw something on his brother’s cast. Lee’s expression, however, turned immediately serious, all traces of humor fading from his face. William felt a deep pang of regret.
“Lee...” William started to say. He needed to talk to his son. There were so many things he needed to tell Lee. But upon seeing the laughter vanish from his son’s eyes as soon as he entered the room, William’s mind drew a complete blank. He had absolutely no idea what to say next. So, instead of embarking upon that important father-son conversation, William simply said, “Your mother told me you didn’t get much of a breakfast at the hospital. She’s making some pancakes. How many do you think you can eat?”
Lee’s posture relaxed a little. He shrugged. “Four, I guess.”
“I want four too,” Zak piped up eagerly.
William couldn’t help smiling at Zak. “You did have a decent breakfast this morning.”
“That was a long time ago,” Zak replied.
“You’re sure you’re hungry?”
Zak nodded.
“All right, you can have some too. The food should be ready in just a few minutes. Why don’t you come on out and wash your hands.” Realizing then that one of Lee’s hands was bound up in the cast, he inquired, “Do you need some help with that, Kiddo?”
Lee shook his head. “No sir. I can manage.”
“All right,” William acknowledged and backed out of the boys’ bedroom. He walked into the living room and sat down in his chair, silently berating himself. He’d chickened out. What was his problem? He could take on Cylons, smugglers, and terrorists without blinking... why couldn’t he face a crying child? And Lee hadn’t even been crying!
“This is ridiculous,” he whispered to himself. “Pull it together Husker.” He needed to plan this out. Obviously, trying to talk to Lee off the cuff would never work. He needed to set it in his mind beforehand exactly what he wanted to say... and then hope that his brain wouldn’t just turn to mush when he faced his son alone. After breakfast, he decided. He’d let Lee have his breakfast, and then they would talk.
Lee’s eyes were growing droopy by the time he cleared his plate, but it was Caroline’s eyes that troubled William the most. She said nothing to him when the boys came out of their room to eat. She didn’t need to say anything. Her glare spoke volumes. She knew full well that William had dodged talking to Lee and her patience with her husband was nearly at an end. She sat down to eat with her sons while William sat off by himself in the living room, explaining that unlike Zak one breakfast was enough for him. When they were finished, Lee headed back for his room, yawning wearily. William watched him go, but didn’t move to follow him.
“Zak,” Caroline said, “would you help me in the kitchen?” Zak didn’t look thrilled, but he didn’t argue with his mother. He took his plate toward the sink. From the edge of the living room, Caroline said to her husband, “Well?”
William looked back at his wife. “You saw him,” he said. “He can barely keep his eyes open.”
“It shouldn’t take you five minutes,” she said in low tones. William hesitated, causing his wife to wince and shake her head. “Is it any wonder, Bill? Is it really any wonder why Lee would chose to be in pain rather than talk to you? You’ve taught him well.” With that she turned her back and strode into the kitchen.
William stared at the floor for a few more seconds, then summoned his courage and went to talk to his son. When William stepped into the room Lee was sitting on his bed, fumbling with one hand to untie his shoelaces. “Need some help?” William offered.
Lee shook his head. “No Sir,” he said. “I’ll need to get the hang of it, for the next few weeks anyway.” Lee had a little trouble with his left shoe, but his father let him handle it himself. After a few retries, he succeeded.
William brought the chair over from Lee’s desk and set it beside Lee’s bed. “Son,” he said tentatively, “we need to talk.” He took a seat, trying to hide just how uncomfortable he was.
To Lee, his father’s voice sounded grave and very stern. Lee knew what that meant. He was in for another lecture. “Sir, I wasn’t sneaking around last night,” he whispered, hoping to fend off his father’s anger.
William nodded. “I know. Peter told me. He said you took a hard fall while you were playing yesterday. That’s why you came in so early before dinner, wasn’t it?”
“Yes Sir.” Lee swallowed.
“But you didn’t say anything, to me or to your mother.”
“I didn’t know it was broken. It was just a little sore.” He kept his face composed, but there was an unmistakable look of dread in his wide blue eyes. He was just waiting for the hammer to fall.
“Even so, you should have said something.” William was trying his best not to sound harsh, but it took a concerted effort to keep his thoughts focused while facing his anxious son and he knew it was translating into a sharp edge within his voice.
Lee hung his head and nodded. Without looking at his father, he said, “It really didn’t hurt much, and I know you hate it when... when we complain. It wasn’t until later, when it started swelling, that it really hurt.”
“Yet you still didn’t say anything. Your brother had to come wake us up in the middle of the night to let us know.” Emotion was creeping into Lee’s face now. William really hoped that Lee would not cry. In spite of his earlier intent to carefully plan out what he needed to say, the advanced preparation wasn’t helping. His nerves were already turning upside down. Caroline was so much better at this. He considered enlisting her help, but decided against it. Lords knew what kind of withering glare she would turn loose on him if he walked out on this conversation now. He had to just forge on ahead in whatever fashion he could manage.
“Lee, I know that you think you were just... trying to be strong... like I’ve always encouraged you to be, but...” William lost his train of thought, and scrambled to find some direction. “You... you want to be a warrior someday. And it’s true that whiners never become warriors. You have to be strong and able to handle a lot of discomfort, but hiding an injury Lee... that’s not strength. If a warrior is hurt, if he breaks his arm... and tries to hide it... he could be putting lives at risk, and not just his own. He has a responsibility to make sure that he is fit for duty when he’s called.”
It began to dawn on William that he had fallen back on old habits and was lecturing again rather than engaging in the heart-to-heart discussion he’d intended. But this was what he knew how to do. This was how he corrected behaviors with his pilots: pointing out errors and providing instruction on what was expected. Lee was calm enough, and the boy was listening attentively, so William forged on ahead. Better to just keep the discussion going and work around to the father-son issues when the time was right.
He tried to steer the conversation in a direction that Lee would find at least bit more comforting. “Now accidents sometimes just happen, Son... like what happened with you. That’s no cause for shame. But when that happens, it’s your responsibility to get yourself taken care of properly as soon as possible, so that you’ll again be fit for duty as soon as possible. To do anything else... it just creates an added burden on everyone around you. If you’d spoken up yesterday, we wouldn’t have all been rushing around in the middle of the night, you wouldn’t have spent hours in the hospital, and your mother... Lee, do you know what happened at the hospital this morning, with your mother?”
“You mean, with the lady from Family Services?” Lee asked quietly.
“Yes,” William nodded. “Do you know why she was there?”
“Yes Sir,” Lee whispered. “They weren’t convinced at first that I just fell. They thought...” Lee’s voice trailed off.
“They thought that you might have been abused,” William finished for Lee.
Lee’s eyes grew watery, but he faced his father. “I told her that you never hit us. I told her at least a dozen times.”
“I know,” William said solemnly. “So did your mother. And eventually they believed you. But Lee, do you have any idea how upsetting that was for her?”
Lee swallowed hard. “I’m sorry. I told Mom I was sorry.”
“I’m sure you did, Son. But you know that would never have happened if you’d just spoken up in the first place.”
Lee was silent for a short while then he stoically told his father, “I know that Sir. I’m sorry. And I’m sorry I disappointed you.”
“Bill,” Caroline’s voice said tightly from the doorway. Neither of them had heard her approach. “Could you help me in the kitchen please?”
William looked at her in surprise. “Lee and I were just discussing...”
“Yes, I heard,” she said quietly, her voice low and controlled. “But I really need your help right now.”
His wife’s expression left no room for doubt in William’s mind that she was deadly serious. He stood up and told his son, “Get some sleep Kiddo. We’ll talk again later.” He followed his wife from the room, and pulled the door shut behind him. “I thought you wanted me to talk to Lee,” he said quietly.
“In the kitchen,” she said quietly. “I’ve sent Zak next door.” She led the way to the far end of the house, where she asked her husband incredulously, “What were you thinking?”
William was taken aback. “Caroline... what’s going on? You all but pushed me through the door to talk to Lee, now you’re yanking me back out before I can even finish!”
“Finish what? The lecture you were never supposed to start?” Even though they were as far from Lee’s bedroom as the small house allowed, they both still made an effort to keep their voices low so that Lee would not overhear them. Caroline groaned. “You’re supposed to be consoling him, not berating him!”
William sighed. “I wasn’t berating him.”
“I heard Bill. I heard that boy apologizing for being a disappointment to you. Why would he do that unless you were scolding him?”
“I was discussing the situation with him,” William argued. “Lee did make a very serious error in judgment Caroline. It won’t be serving his best interest to just ignore that.”
“Did you tell him that you love him?”
After a pause, William admitted, “Not yet.”
“Why not?”
In answer to her question he responded with one of his own. “Did it escape your attention that I wasn’t done in there? I fully intended to tell him and I might have even done so by now if you hadn’t interrupted.”
“Might have? When, Bill? At the end of the lecture? That was the first thing he needed to hear from you, not the last! He knows he made a mistake. Do you think he enjoyed spending the night in the emergency room? He does not need to be browbeaten over it. What he does need is to feel safe again about talking to his father! Good Lords Bill, don’t you understand? This is exactly why Lee ended up spending the night in the hospital. This is exactly what he was afraid of. Instead of easing his fears about you, you’ve just confirmed them all!”
“Fine!” William threw up his hands. “I admit it. I’m not very good at this. I’m a warrior. That’s what I know. I know how to deal with other warriors. Being a parent doesn’t come so naturally. It’s so much easier for you, so... just tell me. What exactly should I do?”
She threw an arm out to the side, pointing in the direction of Lee’s room. “Go back in there and tell that boy you love him. Convince him of it. Tell him that he can make mistakes, fall on his face, make bad decisions... tell him he doesn’t even need to ever be a warrior or a pilot... and that you will love him just the same.”
William’s face registered his shock at Caroline’s suggestion. Tell Lee he didn’t need to pursue being a pilot? How could he do that? It was Lee’s dream to fly a viper some day, and there was no vocation more honorable than that. He couldn’t tell Lee that he could just give up that dream. It would take much hard work and preparation to achieve that goal, and it would require focus and determination. Lee needed to be encouraged to stay on course, not told that he could stray whenever he wanted.
Seeing the conflict playing out across her husband’s face, Caroline told him, “If you can’t manage that... and ONLY that... then just pack your bag and go on back to the Galactica right now. Stop making a bad situation worse and just let me handle it. I know how to talk to my son.” She crossed her arms and stood firmly in place, waiting for an answer.
William had no answer to give her. He felt drained, mentally and physically. He walked from the kitchen, not even sure where he was going, or what he would do next. He wanted to go back to Lee’s room and finish the conversation they had started, but... finish it how? There was so much he’d left unsaid and it pained him deeply to know that Lee felt so uncomfortable talking to him. Still, he felt like he had to try. He stood outside Lee’s door, tumbling words and phrases around in his head, hoping the right combination would come to him. His hand settled almost unconsciously on the doorknob, and pushed the door open. Lee was asleep. William was ashamed to feel a rush of relief, but he closed the door again anyway and continued down the hallway to his own bedroom.
Now what?
He sat down on the bed and stared at the wall. Lee would probably sleep for several hours, but he would wake up before too long. What then? I really don’t know what to say to him, William admitted to himself. How can I convince Lee that he should feel comfortable talking to me, when I’m so edgy about talking to him? I can’t. I’ll never manage it.
That realization hit William like a truckload of bricks. He dropped his head into his hands. Perhaps, when Lee got a little older, when he could deal with Lee on a more adult level, it would be easier for William to speak with his son. He hoped that would be the case. He just didn’t know how to reach out to the child. For the time being, perhaps it really would be better to just let Caroline handle it. She was the one who knew how. He definitely did not want to risk saying the wrong thing, and driving Lee even farther away.
He stood up from the bed and silently began packing his bag
Next -->
Characters: Bill and Lee
Setting: Takes place primarily about 20 years before the Colonial Holocaust, then jumps forward and finishes shortly after episode 5, “You Can’t Go Home Again.”
Rating: PG
Disclaimer:Based upon characters and situations created by Glen Larson and Ron Moore, and the other staff writers of “Battlestar Galactica”, past and present. They are my heroes and I'm just playing in their sandbox.
Chapter 3
It was still not even quite dawn when a nurse removed the ice pack from Lee’s arm to get a look at how they were progressing with the swelling. Caroline leaned over to see for herself and smiled. The swelling was noticeably reduced and she passed that news along to her son.
“It’s looking good,” she told Lee. “Maybe another hour or so, and I think they’ll be able to finish up.”
The nurse nodded her agreement. “I think so. Lee, we’ll let your arm breathe for about 15 minutes or so, and then put the cold pack back on. Okay?”
Behind them, Doctor Bernard came back into the room with another woman who was dressed in a civilian business suite. She was an attractive woman in her mid-forties with a comforting smile. They directly addressed their patient instead of his mother. “Lee, this is Doctor Warner,” Dr. Bernard told him. “She just wants to ask you a few questions. We’re going to have your mother step outside with me for a little bit while the two of you talk. All right?”
Caroline glanced suspiciously between the two doctors, but didn’t want to say anything to alarm her child. To her son she said, “I’ll be right back Lee. You go ahead and talk with the doctor.” She smiled at him, masking any suspicion from her face until she was outside the room. But as soon as she was beyond Lee’s sight and hearing she asked Dr. Bernard, “What’s going on?”
Dr. Bernard told her solemnly, “We just have a few questions regarding the nature of your son’s accident.”
“Excuse me?” Caroline asked. She didn’t like the sound of this at all. “What kind of questions?”
“I think you should wait to discuss this with Doctor Warner after she has had a chance to talk to Lee.”
Caroline crossed her arms. “Exactly what kind of doctor is she?”
Doctor Bernard explained, “Doctor Warner is our resident pediatric psychologist, and she also works with the Department of Family Services.”
Caroline felt the color drain from her face. She herself had worked in the medical community and she understood exactly what was happening. She just couldn’t believe it was happening to her. “You think that Lee has been abused?” she asked in a tight voice.
“We aren’t making any accusations Mrs. Adama,” Dr. Bernard.
She shook her head in disbelief. “Not yet, but that’s exactly what Doctor Warner is asking Lee isn’t it?”
Zak had fallen right off to sleep as soon as William put him back to bed, but William himself had been too restless to lie down. He settled in on the sofa and switched on the broadcast box, flipping channels idly until he came across an old movie that he hadn’t seen in years. After just a few minutes, he was only paying scant attention to the old flick, his mind drifting. Eventually he dozed off, but it was not a restful sleep. He was roused from a shallow dream when the movie ended and was followed by an infomercial whose sound volume was dramatically higher than the regular programming. He blinked and rubbed his eyes. The sun was coming up. He checked his watch, realizing it had been almost three hours since he’d left Caroline and Lee at the hospital. The doctor had said it could be several hours before they could set Lee’s arm into a cast, but William had still half-expected Caroline to call with updates in the interim. Then he remembered Zak. It was still quite early and Zak was still sound asleep. If they were still waiting for the swelling in Lee’s arm to subside, Caroline might well avoid calling William so as not to waken Zak.
William flipped through a few more channels, but found little to watch aside from more infomercials. Frowning, he hit the power button on the remote and heaved himself to his feet. Shuffling to the kitchen, William switched on the coffee maker. While waiting for the pot to brew, he found himself studying the collection of drawings decorating the refrigerator. A lone viper in flight. A squadron in formation. A viper launching from a battlestar. William smiled. Zak’s fascination with vipers was obvious, not to mention his penchant for drawing. He knew that Lee’s interest in flying was just as acute, but William’s eldest son was much more practical about it. While Zak fantasized about being a pilot through his artwork, sometimes to the detriment of his schoolwork, Lee immersed himself in his studies and in sports, actively preparing himself both mentally and physically for the challenges of a military career. William didn’t want to dampen Zak’s enthusiasm, but he wondered if perhaps he should have a talk with Zak. Childhood fantasies were all well and good, but they would never become reality if Zak didn’t learn to set the distractions aside and focus on his priorities. The boy would have to start accepting that math and science were more important for pilots than art.
His two boys were so different. Lee was the driven one, while Zak was a dreamer. Lee seldom needed to be instructed on anything more than once, while Zak frequently needed to be led by the hand to stay on course. Caroline did a fine job with the boys, but William still wished he could play a more consistent role in their upbringing. He was away from home so much. Still, so long as Lee continued to set a good example for his younger brother, William felt a little better about Zak’s prospects. That was what made William so uneasy about the events of the previous night. Lee had let him down. Lee had broken his father’s trust. What had Lee been doing in the middle of the night, and why did he refuse to own up to his actions? Was Lee starting to go through a rebellious phase? The last thing Zak needed was to see his older brother becoming a troublemaker. The younger boy would undoubtedly follow suit. Both boys could have such bright and honorable futures ahead of them in the service of the Colonial Fleet if they could just stay focused. Whatever Lee had been up to, William knew he would have to get to the bottom of it and put a stop to it right away. The guilt William had felt earlier at the hospital over his reprimands to Lee was replaced now by a solemn resolve. There could be no wavering on this matter. He would not tolerate any such behavior from his children.
“Daddy?”
Zak’s voice surprised William. He’d been certain that Zak was still sound asleep. “Hey there Warrior,” he greeted his youngest. “Couldn’t sleep?”
Zak shrugged. “Are we still taking Mommy out to breakfast this morning?”
William checked his watch. “Well, I don’t know Zak. I guess that depends on how soon Lee is able to leave the hospital. You hungry?”
Zak nodded.
William wasn’t sure what to do at first. He doubted that either Caroline or Lee would get anything to eat at the hospital. They would both need to eat as soon as Lee was released, but Lee might not feel up to going out anywhere. The boy would undoubtedly be tired and hurting and should probably be put right back to bed. And it could still be hours before Lee was able to come home. William finally decided there was no point in making Zak go hungry in the meantime.
“All right,” he said, “let’s see what we can find you for breakfast.”
“What about Mommy and Lee?”
“I’ll make something for them when I bring them home. How about some eggs?”
William’s culinary talents were limited, but he did know how to scramble a few eggs. He had been a bachelor once, after all, and bachelors have to eat too. Though, while on duty aboard a battlestar the kitchens were manned by a large, efficient staff of cooks who kept the entire crew fed three square meals a day. He served up the eggs for Zak, with a couple pieces of toast, and by then found his own stomach starting to growl. He went ahead and tossed a few more eggs in the skillet for himself.
After eating, he sent Zak off to get dressed and washed up. His eyes flicked back up to the clock. Still no word from Caroline. He told himself that no news was good news, and that he just needed to be patient. There was no cause for worry. Surely, if there had been a problem with Lee, Caroline would have called. He took the time to catch his own shower and don a fresh set of clothes, then settled in on the couch with Zak trying to find something on the broadcast box that they both could watch.
It wasn’t until mid-morning that the phone finally rang. William had been watching the clock nervously off and on all morning, and had just begun to get genuinely worried over the lack of news. He jumped up from the couch to grab for the phone. “Hello?”
“Bill, it’s me,” Caroline’s voice announced, sounding a bit odd. Her voice was tense and low. “Lee is about ready to come home. Why don’t you drop Zak off with the neighbors and then come get us.”
“Zak’s wide awake,” he told his wife. “He’s been up since dawn. I’ll just bring him along.”
“No,” she said sharply. “Let him stay with the Mormonts. We need to talk. I’ll meet you out in front of the ER.”
William felt a chill run down his spine. Something was wrong. “Is Lee all right?”
“He will be,” she said cryptically, then hung up.
William hung up the receiver slowly. What in Kobol’s mercy was going on?
“Was that Mommy?” Zak asked.
“Yes,” William answered. “Um... Lee is ready to come home, but there’s some... paperwork and things that need to be taken care of. Zak, I want you to stay with the neighbors while I go back to the hospital and finish up with the doctor.”
“I wanna see Lee,” Zak protested.
“You’ll see him soon enough,” William declared.
“Why can’t I go with you?”
“They’re very busy over there now Zak,” William answered testily. “I can’t be keeping one eye on you while you try to wander off to go exploring. And don’t try to tell me you wouldn’t. Mommy and Lee will both be home very shortly.”
“But...”
“Enough Zak! A warrior does not question his orders. Now let’s go.” He grabbed the keys and strode toward the front door. Zak followed, sullenly, shuffling his feet over the short distance to the neighbor’s residence.
An attractive young brunette with curly hair answered the door very promptly after William knocked. “Good morning,” William greeted her, suddenly realizing that he had no idea what her name was.
“Oh, Captain Adama... good morning,” she said cheerily. “I know we’ve never met, but I recognize you from all the family pictures. I’m Sheila Mormont.” She extended her hand in greeting and William shook it firmly. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Good morning, Zak.”
“Hi Mrs. Mormont,” Zak replied. “Can Peter play?”
“He’s in his room, but I think you’d better ask your father...”
“Actually Mrs. Mormont....”
“Please call me Sheila.”
“Sheila... I was hoping that you wouldn’t mind if Zak stayed here with you for a little while. I need to fetch Lee and Caroline home from the hospital.”
Her face showed immediate concern. “Nothing serious I hope.”
“Lee broke his arm,” Zak announced.
Sheila Mormont winced. From behind her, another young voice asked, “He broke it?” A young boy about Lee’s age stepped forward to stand beside his mother in the doorway.
“Yeah,” Zak told the boy, sounding morbidly excited about the previous night’s events. “And it got all swolled up, so they had to keep him at the hospital all night.”
“Ewww,” the neighbor boy responded. “He said it didn’t even hurt that much.”
“Excuse me?” William asked.
“Oh Captain, I’m sorry,” Sheila said. “This is my son, Peter. He and Lee play together all the time. Peter, this is Lee’s father, the famous ‘Husker’ Adama.”
A large grin broke out across the boy’s face. “Hello Sir,” he said.
“Hello Peter,” William said, suddenly realizing this was the boy whom he’d been so concerned might be a bad influence on Lee. He certainly didn’t look like a neighborhood hoodlum. He just looked like any regular nine-year old kid. But there was the matter of what Peter had just said that worried him. “You said that Lee told you his arm didn’t hurt much?”
Peter nodded. “Yeah. He said it was sore, but that it was no big deal. We all thought he just twisted it a little.”
“We?” William questioned him further. “Who is ‘we’? And when was this?”
“Yesterday,” Peter answered. “When we... Lee and Jack and Steve and me... we were playing ground ball, like we always do. Lee had the ball and Jack tagged him. He landed kinda hard and said his arm hurt a little, but he got right back up. He even tried to run a few more plays before he said his arm was too sore... but we didn’t think it was broken.”
“And this was yesterday... afternoon?” William asked.
“Yes sir,” Peter answered.
William’s stomach did a summersault, but he managed to hide it from his face.
“He’s okay, isn’t he?” Peter asked.
“He’ll be fine,” William answered. “Though, he won’t be playing ground ball with you for about a month or so. I’m going to go pick him up right now,” he turned his attention back to Peter’s mother, “assuming you don’t mind looking after Zak for a bit.”
“No, of course not,” she told him with a warm smile. “Peter, why don’t you and Zak go play in your room, okay? Captain, please tell Lee that we’re hoping he feels better soon.”
“I will. Thank you.”
Zak scampered off after Peter and William headed off alone to the family car. He slipped behind the wheel and pulled the door shut with a loud bang. Then he sat for several long seconds just staring straight ahead.
Lee had broken his arm while playing with his friends, then come into the house... and said nothing to his parents. He’d told them he had homework instead of revealing the fact that he was hurt. It explained so many things. It explained Lee’s total loss of appetite at the dinner table. William was certain now that Sheila Mormont had never baked any cookies, or even if she had, Lee had not spoiled his appetite on them. It explained Lee’s moodiness and his desire to leave the table, hiding out in his room, even turning down dessert. It also explained why the arm was already so swollen when they took him to the hospital. But despite every question answered, William was still left with one. “Why?” Why had Lee intentionally hid his injury from his parents until Zak tattled on him in the middle of the night? It made no sense. The boy had been in pain for hours. Why didn’t he just say something?
William finally turned the ignition and started the car moving. He still felt rattled by Peter’s revelation, but Caroline was waiting for him so he didn’t want to keep dawdling in the driveway. He guessed now what Caroline wanted to talk to him about before they took Lee home. He caught a red light at the same intersection where they’d had to wait the night before. Waiting again for the light to change, William was vividly reminded of the accusations he’d made to Lee at that very same spot.
“Were you sneaking to the kitchen, since you didn’t eat your dinner when you were supposed to?”
“No.”
“Were you trying to sneak out with that neighbor boy...Peter?”
“No!” Lee insisted, his voice breaking.
“I want an answer,” William declared.
William had his answer now, but it didn’t make him feel any better.
Caroline was pacing on the sidewalk when William arrived at the hospital a short while later. “We need to talk,” she said grimly as he approached.
“I know,” he told her. “I talked to Peter when I was dropping Zak off. He told me how Lee hurt his arm.”
She tilted her head. With biting sarcasm, she said, “You realize you just left your youngest, impressionable son in the home of a foul-mouthed sot?”
Fine. William knew he’d over-reacted earlier with his impressions of the Mormont family, but William refused to take the bait. “Caroline, are we going to talk or fight?”
She closed her eyes and took a very deep breath. To his amazement, William suddenly realized she was crying though she was trying very hard to stay in control. He also noted that she looked very, very tired. “Bill...,” she said in shaking voice. “I just spent two hours this morning talking to a military marshal and a pediatric psychologist from the Department of Family Services... trying to convince them that we do not beat our children... and that you were not the one who broke Lee’s arm.”
William’s jaw dropped. “Wh-what?” he stammered. “Wh-why the frak would they think --- Lee was playing...”
“I know that!” she half-yelled, then caught herself, and forced a sense of calm back into her voice. “I know what happened now. Lee finally explained. The doctors were just being cautious. When they saw something suspicious, they had to look into it.”
“What’s suspicious about a boy playing a game of ground ball?” William asked, still utterly mystified. “Little boys fall down all the time.”
Caroline hugged her arms about herself tightly. “They saw a boy with a broken arm... who had gone nearly ten hours without his parents seeking any medical aid... whose parents could not readily provide the doctors with an answer as to how the injury occurred... and who was overheard in the emergency room apologizing to his father for making him angry.”
William felt as though he had just been kicked in the gut. For several seconds he even found it difficult to breathe. “I... I would never... EVER...”
“I know that,” Caroline said again, though this time she just sounded plainly exhausted. “I talked with the doctor from Family Services... and the marshal... and after they interviewed Lee a couple of times, they were finally satisfied the situation was nothing for them to be concerned about. However, the doctor did suggest that we consider family counseling.”
William shook his head, growing angry now that the shock had begun to recede. “Great! They realize they made unfounded accusations, but still want to keep their noses stuck into our business. I suppose if we decline, they’ll also consider that ‘suspicious’.”
Caroline’s shoulders drooped with fatigue. “She was concerned... as am I... that our son chose to hide from us the fact that he was injured. Don’t you find that just a little bit alarming Bill?”
“That doesn’t mean we need a headshrinker dissecting our private lives,” he answered, dodging the question slightly. “Lee’s a tough little warrior.”
Caroline cringed. “He is not a warrior! He’s a nine year-old boy! Good Lords Bill, you almost sound like you’re proud of the fact he landed himself in the hospital!”
“Don’t be absurd. I don’t want Lee here any more than you do!”
“Lee never hides anything from me. Aren’t you even curious about why he tried to hide this from us? Doesn’t that matter to you?”
How could she ask that? William had puzzled constantly over just that question since the moment he’d left the Mormonts’ front door. “Of course,” he responded gruffly. “Did he explain it?”
“The psychologist asked him, when she was trying to determine why we didn’t bring him to a doctor sooner.”
“What did he say?”
Caroline’s gaze dropped to the ground. It was several seconds before she answered. “He said... he said it was because of you. If you hadn’t been home, he would have told me... but he was afraid of being a disappointment to you. He didn’t know his arm was actually broken. He thought it was just twisted, maybe sprained. He didn’t want to complain about it with you at home, because you would think he was weak... and you would be ashamed of him. So he did what he thought you would want him to do... be a tough little warrior.” Those last words had been spoken harshly and on the verge of more tears.
For a long time, William could not voice a reply. Just last night over dinner he had asked himself, “Am I the reason Lee is so uneasy tonight? Does it make him that uncomfortable to have me home?” Apparently, Lee was uneasy enough that he was even afraid to reveal the fact that he was injured.
He would have told Caroline. But not me.
“Your son is afraid of you Bill,” Caroline said pointedly. She held up a hand to fend off his immediate denial. “He isn’t afraid that you’ll beat him. He knows you won’t hurt him. But he is afraid that you won’t love him unless he shows you that he’s the perfect little warrior you’ve always tried to mold him into being since the day he was born. But he isn’t a warrior Bill! Not yet! He’s a child, who right now just needs to know that his father loves him, and will always love him, no matter how imperfect he may turn out to be.”
William rubbed at his eyes and looked skyward for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts and settle his churning nerves. “Did you... did you tell him... that I love him?”
She regarded him with a serious eye. “That’s your job. I told him that I love him, no matter what, and that there should never ever be anything that he should be afraid to tell me. Now it’s your turn.”
William simply nodded by way of reply and walked deliberately toward the emergency room door. Caroline fell into step right beside him. As they passed into the bustling waiting area William realized how fortunate they had been the night before that the doctors had been able to tend to Lee right away. The ER was much busier now, with numerous patients and families all waiting for treatment. Nearing the nurses’ station, William thought he detected a few suspicious and hostile looks being thrown in his direction by the staff... or was that just his imagination?
He asked his wife, “Does Lee know... does he understand what all the questions and interviews were about?”
Wearily, she replied, “Of course he does. He’s a smart boy.”
William had to make a concerted effort at keeping his expression neutral. He was worried that any show of nerves would be misinterpreted as guilt, so he tried to look as unconcerned as he possibly could and just portray the relieved father who had come to take his boy home. He even managed a smile when he stepped into the examination room where Lee was waiting.
Lee was not alone, nor was he lying down anymore. He was sitting up on the edge of his bed, facing his new roommate. The other bed was now occupied, but the curtain between the beds was not drawn over for privacy. An elderly woman was lying in the other bed, with an oxygen mask covering her nose and mouth. A young petty officer was sitting beside her, probably the woman’s son. The enlisted man held the old woman’s hand, but both he and the old woman were turned toward Lee, listening to him as the boy told them a story.
Lee told his audience, “Apollo was so outraged over what Pytho had done to his mother that he went to one of the older Lords, Hephaestus, and begged him for a weapon that could kill Pytho. Even though Apollo was still just a boy, Hepahaestus gave him a bow, and Apollo used it used to hunt down Pytho, shooting him a thousand times. And it was because he showed so much skill at such a young age that he gained recognition as one of the great Lords, and was called the Great Hunter.”
“You really have been keeping up your history lessons,” William commented with a smile toward his son.
Lee’s face and his voice had been rather animated while passing on the tale of the ancient Kobolian lord to his small audience. The boy looked like he’d really been enjoying himself, but upon seeing his father, his demeanor immediately changed. He sat up a little straighter and his expression grew serious. William noted the change in his son with no small measure of disappointment.
The young petty officer stood quickly to attention and saluted the senior officer. “Good morning, Captain.”
William returned the salute almost by reflex, but told the young man, “We’re not on duty here. Please sit down and relax.”
“Thank you, sir,” the petty officer said, returning to his seat. “I guess you’re here to take Lee home.”
“Yes,” William replied, walking over to stand beside Lee’s bed. He looked questioningly at his wife. “Any last minute details we need to cover with the doctor before we can go?”
“No,” she answered. “I’ve already covered everything. We were just waiting on the chauffeur.”
William turned his attention back toward his son. Lee’s left arm, from just below the elbow to down over his hand was wrapped now in a cast, and he was wearing a sling to bear the weight more comfortably. He looked a little tired, but had seemed to be in good spirits... at least he had been before William walked in. William wanted to say something to his son, something to put the boy at ease around him. He recalled how he had earlier promised himself, twice, that he would give Lee a proper hug, and he recalled Caroline’s admonishment that he needed to let Lee know that he truly loved him. But now that the moment for just such actions appeared to be presenting itself, William found himself hesitating. He hadn’t anticipated having an audience of strangers in the room, watching. So for the time being, he did nothing.
“Well Lee, I know you’re anxious to go home,” the old woman in the adjacent bed spoke up. Her voice was slightly muffled by the oxygen mask, but she was smiling. “Selfishly though, I wish you weren’t going so soon.” Her eyes looked up toward William’s. “You’ve got a very special boy there Captain. He’s been excellent company.”
“Thank you,” Caroline answered. She retrieved Lee’s coat from a chair beside his bed.
Lee slid down off the edge of the bed, standing up. “I hope you feel better soon Helen,” he told the old woman.
She smiled back at him. “I already do. Take care of that arm.”
“I will,” he told her. Caroline draped the coat around his shoulders and they started walking toward the door.
William followed his wife and son from the hospital, just as he had followed them out of the house earlier that morning. He walked just a few steps behind, while Caroline walked right beside Lee, her arm around his shoulders. It was obvious to William that there was such a close, easy bond between his son and wife. There were no walls between them. Lee had even been relaxed and chatty with two complete strangers in the emergency room. But with his father he was immediately on guard, reserved, and afraid to speak his mind. Around William, Lee acted like... well... like a junior officer addressing his senior.
It’s what I’ve taught him, William realized. Be strong. Stay focused. Follow orders. He doesn’t play and laugh around me anymore, because that’s not the way a warrior behaves. And he knows that’s what I expect of him. But I never expected it this soon. Caroline’s right. He’s not a warrior yet. He’ll make a fine one when the time comes, but he doesn’t have to live that way now.
But how the hell could he explain all this to Lee? What the heck could he say? He did want Lee to be grown up and responsible, to stay strong and focused, and be a good model for his little brother. He wanted Lee to respect him, and follow his instructions properly the first time. But somewhere along the line, in teaching Lee how to respect him, William knew he had failed to teach Lee how to love him. How could he possibly begin to amend that? The answer came to William as soon as he pondered the question. He had to teach Lee that he was loved.
Caroline’s words echoed in William’s head. “I told him that I love him, no matter what, and that there should never, ever, be anything that he should be afraid to tell me.”
Now, William knew, it was his turn. But not right here. Not right now. It was too noisy and crowded at the hospital. This was something that required privacy between him and his son. As soon as they got home, William promised himself, he would have a talk with Lee, and give him that overdue hug.
Lee was yawning broadly when the car pulled in to the driveway. He’d very nearly fallen asleep during the short drive home. Caroline took him inside to get him settled while William retrieved Zak from the Mormonts’ house. Zak boisterously tried to dash home to see his brother, but William managed to rein him in, warning him that Lee was very tired and would need to rest.
“Does that mean we’re not going to the beach today?” Zak asked.
“Not today, son.”
Zak frowned in disappointment. Zak’s mood, however, didn’t stay down for long. Despite William’s attempt to tone Zak down a little, the youngest Adama still hurried straight to the bedroom to bombard Lee with questions about his brief hospital stay.
From the hallway outside the boys’ room William could hear Zak asking, “Did you see anybody who’d got shot?” and “Was there a lot of blood?”
“No Zak,” Lee told his brother patiently. “I didn’t see anything like that. Just an old lady in the bed next to me who had pneumonia.”
“Aw,” Zak whined in disappointment.
Boys, William chuckled. Leaving his sons to their reunion, William headed off to the kitchen to catch up with Caroline. She was standing in front of the open refrigerator door, examining the inventory. “I doubted that you would have had any breakfast at the hospital,” he told her. “Did Lee get anything to eat?”
She nodded, with a grin. “They brought him some bland eggs and toast. He wasn’t thrilled with it, but he ate it. I thought I’d go ahead and make him some pancakes though. He didn’t eat much last night, after all, so he could probably use a decent meal.”
“Why don’t you let me handle that?” he suggested. “This was supposed to be your day off.”
“I’ll take a rain check,” she replied, taking out a large bottle of milk, some eggs, and a tub of butter. “Besides, isn’t there something else you should be doing right now?”
William rubbed at the back of his neck. “Zak is still interrogating him about the emergency room.”
Caroline pulled open the door to the pantry to locate the box of pancake mix. “I’m sure Zak would step outside if you asked him to.” She found the box and a cylinder of ground cinnamon. “Then again, maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea if both boys were involved in the conversation.” Hands full, she used her foot to push the pantry door shut.
William shifted uneasily. “I don’t think that’s necessary. Besides, I’ll have to talk to Lee about the accusations the doctors were making and Zak doesn’t need to hear about that.”
Caroline retrieved a mixing bowl from a cupboard. “But he will hear about it,” she sighed. “Lee will tell him. They tell each other everything. Besides, keeping unnecessary secrets was precisely what made this whole situation so much worse than it needed to be. I would think we wouldn’t want to encourage that practice any more.”
“Fair enough,” William conceded. “But... let the boys have their chatter session so they can both settle down. And like you said, Lee hasn’t had a decent meal in almost 24 hours and he was up all night. I think we ought to just let him relax, get some food into him... and let him sleep for a bit. He practically fell asleep in the car.”
Caroline shook her head, but kept her attention on preparing the pancake batter. “You’re not fooling anyone Bill.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re stalling.”
“I’m not stalling,” he said defensively. “He just got home from the hospital. Any kid would find that traumatic. I just want to give him a little break.”
Caroline turned to face her husband. “A break from what?”
“If I go in there now, he’s going to think he’s in for another lecture.”
“Then surprise him,” she said pointedly. “Put his mind at ease instead. He’ll rest a lot better knowing that his father loves him and would never be ashamed of him for not being combat-ready at age nine.” She turned her back to her husband and continued preparing breakfast for herself and Lee.
William fumed for a bit, but didn’t try to argue with his wife. How could he? She was right. He was stalling. He left the kitchen and walked toward the boys’ bedroom but stopped in the hallway instead. He could hear the boys’ voices, chattering away. He couldn’t quite hear what they were talking about, but to his surprise he even heard them both laugh. Lee’s laugh was just as loud as Zak’s. Sadly, William realized he couldn’t remember the last time he had heard Lee laugh. He stood for several seconds, just listening, reluctant to intrude. Finally, he stepped up and rapped a knuckle on the door before turning the knob and leaning into the room. Zak was still giggling, pen in hand, as he tried to draw something on his brother’s cast. Lee’s expression, however, turned immediately serious, all traces of humor fading from his face. William felt a deep pang of regret.
“Lee...” William started to say. He needed to talk to his son. There were so many things he needed to tell Lee. But upon seeing the laughter vanish from his son’s eyes as soon as he entered the room, William’s mind drew a complete blank. He had absolutely no idea what to say next. So, instead of embarking upon that important father-son conversation, William simply said, “Your mother told me you didn’t get much of a breakfast at the hospital. She’s making some pancakes. How many do you think you can eat?”
Lee’s posture relaxed a little. He shrugged. “Four, I guess.”
“I want four too,” Zak piped up eagerly.
William couldn’t help smiling at Zak. “You did have a decent breakfast this morning.”
“That was a long time ago,” Zak replied.
“You’re sure you’re hungry?”
Zak nodded.
“All right, you can have some too. The food should be ready in just a few minutes. Why don’t you come on out and wash your hands.” Realizing then that one of Lee’s hands was bound up in the cast, he inquired, “Do you need some help with that, Kiddo?”
Lee shook his head. “No sir. I can manage.”
“All right,” William acknowledged and backed out of the boys’ bedroom. He walked into the living room and sat down in his chair, silently berating himself. He’d chickened out. What was his problem? He could take on Cylons, smugglers, and terrorists without blinking... why couldn’t he face a crying child? And Lee hadn’t even been crying!
“This is ridiculous,” he whispered to himself. “Pull it together Husker.” He needed to plan this out. Obviously, trying to talk to Lee off the cuff would never work. He needed to set it in his mind beforehand exactly what he wanted to say... and then hope that his brain wouldn’t just turn to mush when he faced his son alone. After breakfast, he decided. He’d let Lee have his breakfast, and then they would talk.
Lee’s eyes were growing droopy by the time he cleared his plate, but it was Caroline’s eyes that troubled William the most. She said nothing to him when the boys came out of their room to eat. She didn’t need to say anything. Her glare spoke volumes. She knew full well that William had dodged talking to Lee and her patience with her husband was nearly at an end. She sat down to eat with her sons while William sat off by himself in the living room, explaining that unlike Zak one breakfast was enough for him. When they were finished, Lee headed back for his room, yawning wearily. William watched him go, but didn’t move to follow him.
“Zak,” Caroline said, “would you help me in the kitchen?” Zak didn’t look thrilled, but he didn’t argue with his mother. He took his plate toward the sink. From the edge of the living room, Caroline said to her husband, “Well?”
William looked back at his wife. “You saw him,” he said. “He can barely keep his eyes open.”
“It shouldn’t take you five minutes,” she said in low tones. William hesitated, causing his wife to wince and shake her head. “Is it any wonder, Bill? Is it really any wonder why Lee would chose to be in pain rather than talk to you? You’ve taught him well.” With that she turned her back and strode into the kitchen.
William stared at the floor for a few more seconds, then summoned his courage and went to talk to his son. When William stepped into the room Lee was sitting on his bed, fumbling with one hand to untie his shoelaces. “Need some help?” William offered.
Lee shook his head. “No Sir,” he said. “I’ll need to get the hang of it, for the next few weeks anyway.” Lee had a little trouble with his left shoe, but his father let him handle it himself. After a few retries, he succeeded.
William brought the chair over from Lee’s desk and set it beside Lee’s bed. “Son,” he said tentatively, “we need to talk.” He took a seat, trying to hide just how uncomfortable he was.
To Lee, his father’s voice sounded grave and very stern. Lee knew what that meant. He was in for another lecture. “Sir, I wasn’t sneaking around last night,” he whispered, hoping to fend off his father’s anger.
William nodded. “I know. Peter told me. He said you took a hard fall while you were playing yesterday. That’s why you came in so early before dinner, wasn’t it?”
“Yes Sir.” Lee swallowed.
“But you didn’t say anything, to me or to your mother.”
“I didn’t know it was broken. It was just a little sore.” He kept his face composed, but there was an unmistakable look of dread in his wide blue eyes. He was just waiting for the hammer to fall.
“Even so, you should have said something.” William was trying his best not to sound harsh, but it took a concerted effort to keep his thoughts focused while facing his anxious son and he knew it was translating into a sharp edge within his voice.
Lee hung his head and nodded. Without looking at his father, he said, “It really didn’t hurt much, and I know you hate it when... when we complain. It wasn’t until later, when it started swelling, that it really hurt.”
“Yet you still didn’t say anything. Your brother had to come wake us up in the middle of the night to let us know.” Emotion was creeping into Lee’s face now. William really hoped that Lee would not cry. In spite of his earlier intent to carefully plan out what he needed to say, the advanced preparation wasn’t helping. His nerves were already turning upside down. Caroline was so much better at this. He considered enlisting her help, but decided against it. Lords knew what kind of withering glare she would turn loose on him if he walked out on this conversation now. He had to just forge on ahead in whatever fashion he could manage.
“Lee, I know that you think you were just... trying to be strong... like I’ve always encouraged you to be, but...” William lost his train of thought, and scrambled to find some direction. “You... you want to be a warrior someday. And it’s true that whiners never become warriors. You have to be strong and able to handle a lot of discomfort, but hiding an injury Lee... that’s not strength. If a warrior is hurt, if he breaks his arm... and tries to hide it... he could be putting lives at risk, and not just his own. He has a responsibility to make sure that he is fit for duty when he’s called.”
It began to dawn on William that he had fallen back on old habits and was lecturing again rather than engaging in the heart-to-heart discussion he’d intended. But this was what he knew how to do. This was how he corrected behaviors with his pilots: pointing out errors and providing instruction on what was expected. Lee was calm enough, and the boy was listening attentively, so William forged on ahead. Better to just keep the discussion going and work around to the father-son issues when the time was right.
He tried to steer the conversation in a direction that Lee would find at least bit more comforting. “Now accidents sometimes just happen, Son... like what happened with you. That’s no cause for shame. But when that happens, it’s your responsibility to get yourself taken care of properly as soon as possible, so that you’ll again be fit for duty as soon as possible. To do anything else... it just creates an added burden on everyone around you. If you’d spoken up yesterday, we wouldn’t have all been rushing around in the middle of the night, you wouldn’t have spent hours in the hospital, and your mother... Lee, do you know what happened at the hospital this morning, with your mother?”
“You mean, with the lady from Family Services?” Lee asked quietly.
“Yes,” William nodded. “Do you know why she was there?”
“Yes Sir,” Lee whispered. “They weren’t convinced at first that I just fell. They thought...” Lee’s voice trailed off.
“They thought that you might have been abused,” William finished for Lee.
Lee’s eyes grew watery, but he faced his father. “I told her that you never hit us. I told her at least a dozen times.”
“I know,” William said solemnly. “So did your mother. And eventually they believed you. But Lee, do you have any idea how upsetting that was for her?”
Lee swallowed hard. “I’m sorry. I told Mom I was sorry.”
“I’m sure you did, Son. But you know that would never have happened if you’d just spoken up in the first place.”
Lee was silent for a short while then he stoically told his father, “I know that Sir. I’m sorry. And I’m sorry I disappointed you.”
“Bill,” Caroline’s voice said tightly from the doorway. Neither of them had heard her approach. “Could you help me in the kitchen please?”
William looked at her in surprise. “Lee and I were just discussing...”
“Yes, I heard,” she said quietly, her voice low and controlled. “But I really need your help right now.”
His wife’s expression left no room for doubt in William’s mind that she was deadly serious. He stood up and told his son, “Get some sleep Kiddo. We’ll talk again later.” He followed his wife from the room, and pulled the door shut behind him. “I thought you wanted me to talk to Lee,” he said quietly.
“In the kitchen,” she said quietly. “I’ve sent Zak next door.” She led the way to the far end of the house, where she asked her husband incredulously, “What were you thinking?”
William was taken aback. “Caroline... what’s going on? You all but pushed me through the door to talk to Lee, now you’re yanking me back out before I can even finish!”
“Finish what? The lecture you were never supposed to start?” Even though they were as far from Lee’s bedroom as the small house allowed, they both still made an effort to keep their voices low so that Lee would not overhear them. Caroline groaned. “You’re supposed to be consoling him, not berating him!”
William sighed. “I wasn’t berating him.”
“I heard Bill. I heard that boy apologizing for being a disappointment to you. Why would he do that unless you were scolding him?”
“I was discussing the situation with him,” William argued. “Lee did make a very serious error in judgment Caroline. It won’t be serving his best interest to just ignore that.”
“Did you tell him that you love him?”
After a pause, William admitted, “Not yet.”
“Why not?”
In answer to her question he responded with one of his own. “Did it escape your attention that I wasn’t done in there? I fully intended to tell him and I might have even done so by now if you hadn’t interrupted.”
“Might have? When, Bill? At the end of the lecture? That was the first thing he needed to hear from you, not the last! He knows he made a mistake. Do you think he enjoyed spending the night in the emergency room? He does not need to be browbeaten over it. What he does need is to feel safe again about talking to his father! Good Lords Bill, don’t you understand? This is exactly why Lee ended up spending the night in the hospital. This is exactly what he was afraid of. Instead of easing his fears about you, you’ve just confirmed them all!”
“Fine!” William threw up his hands. “I admit it. I’m not very good at this. I’m a warrior. That’s what I know. I know how to deal with other warriors. Being a parent doesn’t come so naturally. It’s so much easier for you, so... just tell me. What exactly should I do?”
She threw an arm out to the side, pointing in the direction of Lee’s room. “Go back in there and tell that boy you love him. Convince him of it. Tell him that he can make mistakes, fall on his face, make bad decisions... tell him he doesn’t even need to ever be a warrior or a pilot... and that you will love him just the same.”
William’s face registered his shock at Caroline’s suggestion. Tell Lee he didn’t need to pursue being a pilot? How could he do that? It was Lee’s dream to fly a viper some day, and there was no vocation more honorable than that. He couldn’t tell Lee that he could just give up that dream. It would take much hard work and preparation to achieve that goal, and it would require focus and determination. Lee needed to be encouraged to stay on course, not told that he could stray whenever he wanted.
Seeing the conflict playing out across her husband’s face, Caroline told him, “If you can’t manage that... and ONLY that... then just pack your bag and go on back to the Galactica right now. Stop making a bad situation worse and just let me handle it. I know how to talk to my son.” She crossed her arms and stood firmly in place, waiting for an answer.
William had no answer to give her. He felt drained, mentally and physically. He walked from the kitchen, not even sure where he was going, or what he would do next. He wanted to go back to Lee’s room and finish the conversation they had started, but... finish it how? There was so much he’d left unsaid and it pained him deeply to know that Lee felt so uncomfortable talking to him. Still, he felt like he had to try. He stood outside Lee’s door, tumbling words and phrases around in his head, hoping the right combination would come to him. His hand settled almost unconsciously on the doorknob, and pushed the door open. Lee was asleep. William was ashamed to feel a rush of relief, but he closed the door again anyway and continued down the hallway to his own bedroom.
Now what?
He sat down on the bed and stared at the wall. Lee would probably sleep for several hours, but he would wake up before too long. What then? I really don’t know what to say to him, William admitted to himself. How can I convince Lee that he should feel comfortable talking to me, when I’m so edgy about talking to him? I can’t. I’ll never manage it.
That realization hit William like a truckload of bricks. He dropped his head into his hands. Perhaps, when Lee got a little older, when he could deal with Lee on a more adult level, it would be easier for William to speak with his son. He hoped that would be the case. He just didn’t know how to reach out to the child. For the time being, perhaps it really would be better to just let Caroline handle it. She was the one who knew how. He definitely did not want to risk saying the wrong thing, and driving Lee even farther away.
He stood up from the bed and silently began packing his bag
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