(no subject)
i had another dream about dana. how frustrating. her dad was in it - im guessing b/c of her post or something. but i was at a church service, and some man sang... and i remember thinking - that's the type of person that i want to be with. someone that it so passionate, so firm in their desires, etc. then i remember being in the back of the church, something going on - we were in pews or chairs or something - and dana was there. dana was trying to find me - she told me she wanted to be with me, i was passive. i wasn't responsive but i wasn't UNresponsive either. im not sure how else to put it. at one point she was hiding and jumped on me, we were body on body, but it was a shock and both of us just put our faces back-- away from each other. then she kissed me. just a brief, muah and got up. i remember thinking, 'oh, she DOES want me' and her just running away. that really was the meat of the dream other than me then seeing that she wanted me, she wanted to be with me, and not knowing what to do about it. i couldn't believe it when she was sitting next to me. i couldn't believe it when she grabbed my hand... it was all... just waiting for the curtain to fall. but i just woke up.
and now of course i keep thinking about her. more than i usually have been, and it just bothers me. i look at her picture. or i listen to cds she made me. i think about that stupid lindsay/dana/jamie thing and i wonder what words were said... i where she is (dana) emotionally... i wonder how she feels about me... and then i hit the ground again and remember kristen. i remember how much i love her. i remember 'the real' that i am so so so fortunate to have. im so mad that i keep having these dreams though.
ps
i got a bill today for 70 bucks from david. that sucks.
pss
the kitties are getting acclimated and are being more like themselves. i feel bad though b/c there isn't really much for them to sleep on... oops
i love kristen.
and now of course i keep thinking about her. more than i usually have been, and it just bothers me. i look at her picture. or i listen to cds she made me. i think about that stupid lindsay/dana/jamie thing and i wonder what words were said... i where she is (dana) emotionally... i wonder how she feels about me... and then i hit the ground again and remember kristen. i remember how much i love her. i remember 'the real' that i am so so so fortunate to have. im so mad that i keep having these dreams though.
ps
i got a bill today for 70 bucks from david. that sucks.
pss
the kitties are getting acclimated and are being more like themselves. i feel bad though b/c there isn't really much for them to sleep on... oops
i love kristen.