OK WOW
i need the one thing i can't have. (ereh saw ehs hsiw) i have to go in and have surgry at 8 am. man it is going to suck. i need to clean up as soon as i can walk i am getting a job well i have one i can just actuly go and work. i think i want to find a sweet girl who is my type mentaly and the rest would be a bounis. i dont know i am going to play it smart and yeah haha me smart. <~~~~ for those who dislike me. but i want to find some one i can love as much as i loved the one i dont exspect to love another more than her but mabey i can find one to love just as much and in a diffrent way. i am out of it i am just worried about my surgry i know it is a miner one but still. i want to love i dont even care if they are not around i just want that feeling of loving. i thought i was lucky i loved twice but i was wrong i have loved and i have lusted one was love of passion and the physical rommance. and the other i cant explian it was great i could close my eyes and smile. still can some times but a tear decides to follow. i can not discribe love there is so many types and ways and i just cant say what it is like. love a word 4 letters. and makes you smile and cry and i love that i love everything in some sorta way. thats all i am talking to my self and thats all i care about its my journal. i need my self and want to share.