RP: Better late than never

[rar_parvati]

Date: June 15th 1999
Characters: Parvati Patil, Padma Patil, Lisa Turpin, Lavender Brown, others.
Location:  The girls house, Hogsmeade
Status: Semi-public
Summary: Parvati and Padma celebrate their birthday a little late.
Completion: Incomplete

Comments

[rar_lisa]

She was not in a partying mood. At all. She'd gotten back from her impromptu shopping trip with Lee in time to help set up for the party, but she'd spent the time since holed up in her room. It was just like the night before at the club: everything single bloody thing seemed to remind her of Terry. She'd spent half the day crying, and it felt all wrong. Her brain felt muddled, and this time it wasn't from alcohol.

The door had opened a few times, so Lisa knew guests had begun arriving. Maybe if she went down now, she could excuse herself relatively early. It had been a late night Friday, so still being tired was a completely legitimate excuse, even if she knew she wouldn't sleep. Taking a few deep breaths, she smoothed down her hair and clothes and headed downstairs.

She greeted Lavender and Mandy, nodded at Dean Thomas on the couch, and helped herself to some water from the drink table. No alcohol. Merlin, never again. And her stomach didn't quite feel up to snacks yet. She was debating on whether she should attempt a conversation--"How's Terry?" was liable to be a common question, and she wasn't sure it was one she could handle yet--when there was a knock at the door.

Putting on a smile, Lisa crossed the room and opened the door. Anthony was standing there, and the corners of her mouth twitched down involuntarily. No. She was not going to start crying again. This was ridiculous. She strengthened the smile a bit. "Hey, Goldstein. The party's barely gotten started."

[rar_anthony]

Anthony had expected Padma or Parvati to open the door, but of course Lisa lived there, too. She seemed to frown upon seeing him, but the frown was gone in an instant, replaced with a smile that seemed a bit forced. Bugger. He'd thought they'd parted on good terms the other night, even if she had been shouting at him in the street for a while. Well, maybe something else was bothering her. But he wasn't sure why she'd frowned like that.

"Hi, Lisa." He smiled and stepped inside, nudging the door closed behind him. He was surprised at the number of people there already--to him, a "low-key party" meant three or four friends and a case of butterbeer--but it looked like a good crowd.

"Where should I put these?" he asked. He'd brought a vase of calla lilies for the twins, which had cost more than he'd wanted to spend, but he'd been captivated by the delicate grace of the flowers, which reminded him of Padma and Parvati though he couldn't have said why.

[rar_lisa]

"Oh, those are nice!" Lisa said brightly, meaning it. She let Anthony in and closed the door behind him, then surveyed the room. "Maybe on the coffee table?" She shrugged. "You know I'm pants at decorating. Just pick somewhere. I'm sure my lovely housemates will move them to suit their taste."

Inside her head, she was cursing. She should tell him. It wasn't fair to him to find out from someone else, and if she didn't the topic would come up somehow, and she'd feel like a prat for not telling him. But she didn't want to. She didn't want to think about it, didn't want to chance becoming a blubbering mess again, and didn't want to detract from the twins' party.

[rar_anthony]

Anthony grinned. "Thanks. The girl at the flower shop asked me what sort of flowers my girlfriend liked, and when I didn't answer right away, she started firing questions at me--what's her favourite colour, how does she dress, all sorts of things. Finally I just pointed at these. She approved of my choice." He laughed and set them on the coffee table.

Lisa was making faces again. Anthony wondered if she realised she was doing it. He cocked his head, wondering why Terry wasn't at her side. "Everything all right?"

[rar_lisa]

"Might have been funny if you described the girls to her," Lisa said, smiling back. "You'd probably have ended up with some crazy, mixed up bouquet."

Anthony gave her a strange look, examining her. She swallowed hard, biting her lip, then slowly shook her head. Looking over her shoulder, she caught Parvati's eye long enough to give her an apologetic smile, then grabbed her friend's arm and dragged him upstairs to her room.

Lisa sat down on her bed, looking up at him long enough to start, "Terry and I..." before bursting into tears.

[rar_anthony]

"Probably would've," Anthony said, grinning.

He was surprised when Lisa grabbed his arm, but he raced up to her room with her and stood beside the bed while she sank down upon it.

And she promptly burst into tears. Fuck.

She'd said something about Terry before her words had been swallowed with sobs. Anthony bit his lip, paused for the slightest second, then sat on the bed beside Lisa.

"Hey," he said softly. He let his hand hover over her shoulder for a moment, then patted it, maybe a bit awkwardly. "Lisa. What happened?" He'd never known her to be overemotional like this before. Usually she was nice and cool-headed. That was part of what Anthony liked about her.

[rar_lisa]

Lisa shook her head back and forth a couple of times, trying to will herself to stop crying, but it didn't work. There weren't even coherent thoughts in her head. It just hurt. A lot.

"We...broke up, if you can even call it that," she choked out between sobs. Anthony had put a hand on her shoulder, but she scooted closer and laid her head onto his. At least that way she could tell he was there without having to look at him. "It just happened. One minute we were...and then we weren't."

[rar_anthony]

Lisa blurted that she and Terry had broken up, then laid her head on Anthony's shoulder. Anthony sagged a bit under the weight of Lisa's pronouncement. He blew out a long breath and twisted his hands together in his lap, then shifted to put one arm around Lisa's shoulders.

He didn't quite know what to say. He'd only recently been teasing Lisa about how odd it was that she and Terry were dating, and now... "But it's not for good, is it?" he asked before he could stop himself. "I mean," he amended, "Fuck. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Lisa." He wasn't apologising, he was just genuinely sorry that this had happened. Whatever had happened. He sort of wished Lisa would spare him the gory details, but he'd listen if she chose to spill them. His stomach twisted a bit as he anticipated what she might say.

[rar_lisa]

But it's not for good, is it? Lisa squeezed her eyes shut, tears still pouring out under her eyelids. She still couldn't make it stop.

"I--" She stopped, taking a long, shaky breath. It had honestly never occurred to her that it might not be for good. She'd spent the week trying to ignore the pain, push it away, and now that she'd finally succumbed to it, that thought was...too good to be true. He hadn't said he didn't want to date any more, but the things he had said....

"I told him that I had missed him," Lisa started, breathing out slowly. "We see each other all the time, but not really. Working in the same office is not the same as spending time together, you know? And we hadn't been on a date since my birthday, and I just...I was enjoying his company."

She sniffed and pulled away, looking up at her friend. "And he got all weird. Told me that after four months he thought he should want more...but that he wasn't sure he did. That maybe our relationship was 'too easy.'" She wiped hastily at the tears. "Why...why didn't I know that he'd been feeling that way? He's my best mate--I should have realised. Maybe then I wouldn't have been so...."

Shocked? Caught off guard? Blind-sided? Gobsmacked? ...Heartbroken?

[rar_anthony]

Fuck, she was really upset. Well, of course she was, but that didn't help Anthony know any better what to do. He shoved his free hand in his pocket and produced a handkerchief, which he then handed to her. "Here," he said, "It's clean." He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Lisa started talking, then, spilling the details of her breakup with Terry and what had happened since, all in a roundabout sort of way. None of it made sense, really. Anthony frowned.

"So, okay. Let me make sure I've got it straight. You went on a date and were enjoying yourselves, and then, out of the blue, Terry broke it off?" It didn't make sense. Not that Anthony was exactly privy to the intimate details of the relationship, but he thought he knew his two friends well. Terry had done some stupid things in his lifetime, sure, but this didn't sound like him.

"Did he say anything else?" Anthony asked, grasping blindly for a solution. "You know. After?"

[rar_lisa]

Lisa took the handkerchief, clutching it in her hands as she talked, but not actually using it. What was the point? There would just be more tears following.

Out of the blue. Yes, that was fitting. "He made it pretty clear that he couldn't be with me for the long haul. That there was a certain line he wasn't willing or able to cross." She wasn't crying as hard now, though her eyes were still brimming with tears. "And bloody hell, Anthony, it's not as if I told him I loved him or anything! I just said I had missed him!"

She tried to draw in a breath, but it caught in her throat. When she continued, her voice was much quieter. "I'm not exactly trying to rush things along. Merlin knows I've got a lot of other things to deal with before I even.... But I have thought about it. And someday...months, years...I think I could...love him. Thought I could. Fuck." She dabbed at her eyes, which had started pouring again, and pulled her knees up to her chest. "But I guess he isn't open to the possibility."

Lisa shook her head. "We haven't exactly talked since. Unless you count work. God, it's been awful." She sniffled. "I'm sorry to dump all this on you." Then she laughed shortly, haltingly. "I didn't really mean it when I said I'd return the favour."

[rar_anthony]

A certain line. Those words echoed in Anthony's head. He wasn't sure exactly what sort of line Lisa was talking about, and he definitely didn't want to ask. That was plenty of information for the moment.

But Lisa was still talking, and Anthony licked his lips and listened and nodded and watched Lisa molest his handkerchief. His eyes widened a bit as she started talking about love, and he was thankful she was still talking, because he hadn't the first fucking clue what to say to comfort her.

It actually seemed like the talking was some sort of catharsis for Lisa, so Anthony let her keep on. The only real movement he made was to take his arm from her shoulders and turn towards her a little when she drew her knees to her chest.

There was a moment of silence, then, and Anthony let out a breath that seemed overly loud in Lisa's little bedroom.

"So, then...it is for good." He wasn't making any sort of proclamation, just trying to sort things out so he could understand a little better and therefore be able to offer some genuine comfort to his friend. But after he said this, he thought it might not have been the best thing to say. "Is that...the situation?"

Lisa apologised, and Anthony grabbed her upper arm and shook his head. "No apologies," he said, then gave a little humourless chuckle. "Wait, didn't we just have this conversation? Don't be sorry?" He sighed and gave Lisa a halfhearted smile, then shook his head again. "Fuck, Lise. I have no idea what to say."

[rar_lisa]

"Yes. Maybe...I don't know." Lisa ran a hand tiredly over her face. Her headache was coming back, and the lump in the pit of her stomach seemed to throb with every heartbeat. "I've tried so hard all week to not think about it that I've not really been able to make sense of it all. Now I keep running it through my head, over and over, and I-- I don't know."

She rested her head on her knees for a second before looking up at Anthony again. "You know what the worst part is? I miss him. It's what started this whole bloody fucking mess, but I can't help it." She breathed out slowly. "He's my best mate. I can't...lose him. I don't know if I could handle that."

Lisa tried to smile back at him, but her face muscles wouldn't cooperate. "You don't have to say anything. I just...I wanted you to know." She wiped her eyes on the handkerchief one more time before pulling out her wand and cleaning it for him. "I should...wash my face. See you back downstairs?"

[rar_anthony]

She said she missed him, and finally something made sense. Of course she did. Anthony didn't know what he'd do if he lost Terry, or Lisa, or Michael, and he didn't have any sort of double relationship with any of them. "That's...wow, that's hard," said Anthony, hoping he sounded as sincere as he felt.

"I'm glad you told me," he said, "You would've had some serious explaining to do if I had to hear about this through the grapevine." He gave her a little smile and cuffed her lightly on the arm. She seemed to be doing a bit better. He took the handkerchief from her and put it back in his pocket.

He nodded. "I'll see you back downstairs, definitely." This was a lie, and Anthony knew it. Sure, Lisa needed friends, but she had a house full of them. Anthony doubted Terry had any friends about besides maybe a bottle of Firewhisky. He'd go downstairs, wish the girls a happy birthday, point out the flowers he'd brought, and head next door.