Enough Blonde Jokes
So, here is a conversation between my friend Laura and myself.
Laura: so I got some redhead jokes for you
Me: yay!
Me: Let 'er rip!
Laura: k, I found a ton of them
Laura: how many redheads does it take to change a light bulb?
Me: how many?
Laura: none, she just bitches until someone else does it
Me: *Laughs*
Laura: What's the difference between a blonde and a redhead in bed?
Laura: A blonde lets you leave the bed when you are satisfied. A redhead lets you leave when SHE is satisfied.
Me: Too true, too true
Laura: I know
Laura: what's the difference between a redhead and a terrorist?
Me: There's a difference?
Laura: You can sometimes reason with the terrorist
Laura: How do you know when you've satisfied a redhead?
Me: You never satisfy a red head
Laura: yes! that is so much better than the real answer
Me: What's the real answer?
Laura: she unties you
Me: *LAUGHS*
Laura: Only two things are necessary to keep a red head happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it
Me: Where did you find these?
Laura: I was bored and searching around online last night
Laura: What's safer? A redhead or a pirahna?
Me: A pirahnaa
Laura: the pirahna. They only attack in schools
Laura: What do you call a redhead with an attitude?
Laura: Normal
Me: It's funny because it's true
Laura: I know!
Laura: How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
Me: ?
Laura: wait ten seconds
Me: OUch
Laura: If you love a redhead, set her free...
Me: No shit
Laura: ...if she follows you everywhere you go, pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital, she's yours
Me: Oooo, crazy stalker red-heads are the worst kind of stalker.
Laura: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A redhead.
Me: *snicker*
Laura: How do you get a redhead to argue?
Me: Talk to her
Laura: Say something.
Laura: (that one was Dave and Chuck's favorite)
Me: Because that's the most accurate one of them all
Laura: yeah
Laura: and because Chuck argues with me just for fun
Me: How cute
Laura: it is
Me: More jokes!
Laura: okay
Laura: How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a girlfriend?
Me: She has him on a leash?
Laura: She has scratched "stay off MY TURF" on his back with her nails.
Me: ooh, owwie.
Laura: How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you?
Me: We do that?
Laura: apparently
Me: How?
Laura: She stops washing your clothes in the toilet
Laura: (assuming she washes your clothes at all)
Me: *LAUGHS* I would so do that....
Laura: How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?
Me: It's been utterly destroyed?
Laura: There's a hammer in the monitor
Me: Ah
Laura: What's the true definition of a blonde?
Me: Not a redhead
Laura: A redhead with the fire of passion missing
Me: Silly blondes
Laura: What's the difference between a redhead and a computer?
Laura: A redhead won't accept a three and a half inch
Me: *falls over*
Laura: Alright, I only have two more
Laura: but they are my favorite
Me: Shoot
Laura: Two sailors are on shore leave and are walking down the street. They spot a beautiful blonde. The first sailor asks his friend "Have you ever slept with a blonde?" The second sailor says that he has.
Laura: They walk on further and see a pretty brunette. The first sailor asks his friend "Have you ever slept with a brunette?" the second sailor says "Why yes, I've slept with brunettes.
Laura: The continue walking and pass a gorgeous redhead (ps-gorgeous redhead is an oxy moron)
Me: heh
Laura: anyway. they walk a little further and pass a redhead. The first sailor says to the second one. "Have you ever slept with a redhead?"
Laura: The second one replies, "Not a wink."
Me: HA! That's perfect!
Laura: I know
Laura: and finaly, my favorite.
Laura: What does a redhead, an anniversary, and toilets have in in common?
Me: I have no idea?
Laura: Men always miss them
Me: *dies laughing*
Me: Once you go red, you stay red. (We make you.)
Laura: and to top all of that off, a quote from Lucille Ball
Me: Wasn't she originally blonde?
Laura: yeah, but she died her hair red and luckily had the attitude to match
Me: Oh, well, that's all right then.
Laura: "Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead."
Me: Well, duh.
Laura: so I got some redhead jokes for you
Me: yay!
Me: Let 'er rip!
Laura: k, I found a ton of them
Laura: how many redheads does it take to change a light bulb?
Me: how many?
Laura: none, she just bitches until someone else does it
Me: *Laughs*
Laura: What's the difference between a blonde and a redhead in bed?
Laura: A blonde lets you leave the bed when you are satisfied. A redhead lets you leave when SHE is satisfied.
Me: Too true, too true
Laura: I know
Laura: what's the difference between a redhead and a terrorist?
Me: There's a difference?
Laura: You can sometimes reason with the terrorist
Laura: How do you know when you've satisfied a redhead?
Me: You never satisfy a red head
Laura: yes! that is so much better than the real answer
Me: What's the real answer?
Laura: she unties you
Me: *LAUGHS*
Laura: Only two things are necessary to keep a red head happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it
Me: Where did you find these?
Laura: I was bored and searching around online last night
Laura: What's safer? A redhead or a pirahna?
Me: A pirahnaa
Laura: the pirahna. They only attack in schools
Laura: What do you call a redhead with an attitude?
Laura: Normal
Me: It's funny because it's true
Laura: I know!
Laura: How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
Me: ?
Laura: wait ten seconds
Me: OUch
Laura: If you love a redhead, set her free...
Me: No shit
Laura: ...if she follows you everywhere you go, pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital, she's yours
Me: Oooo, crazy stalker red-heads are the worst kind of stalker.
Laura: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A redhead.
Me: *snicker*
Laura: How do you get a redhead to argue?
Me: Talk to her
Laura: Say something.
Laura: (that one was Dave and Chuck's favorite)
Me: Because that's the most accurate one of them all
Laura: yeah
Laura: and because Chuck argues with me just for fun
Me: How cute
Laura: it is
Me: More jokes!
Laura: okay
Laura: How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a girlfriend?
Me: She has him on a leash?
Laura: She has scratched "stay off MY TURF" on his back with her nails.
Me: ooh, owwie.
Laura: How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you?
Me: We do that?
Laura: apparently
Me: How?
Laura: She stops washing your clothes in the toilet
Laura: (assuming she washes your clothes at all)
Me: *LAUGHS* I would so do that....
Laura: How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?
Me: It's been utterly destroyed?
Laura: There's a hammer in the monitor
Me: Ah
Laura: What's the true definition of a blonde?
Me: Not a redhead
Laura: A redhead with the fire of passion missing
Me: Silly blondes
Laura: What's the difference between a redhead and a computer?
Laura: A redhead won't accept a three and a half inch
Me: *falls over*
Laura: Alright, I only have two more
Laura: but they are my favorite
Me: Shoot
Laura: Two sailors are on shore leave and are walking down the street. They spot a beautiful blonde. The first sailor asks his friend "Have you ever slept with a blonde?" The second sailor says that he has.
Laura: They walk on further and see a pretty brunette. The first sailor asks his friend "Have you ever slept with a brunette?" the second sailor says "Why yes, I've slept with brunettes.
Laura: The continue walking and pass a gorgeous redhead (ps-gorgeous redhead is an oxy moron)
Me: heh
Laura: anyway. they walk a little further and pass a redhead. The first sailor says to the second one. "Have you ever slept with a redhead?"
Laura: The second one replies, "Not a wink."
Me: HA! That's perfect!
Laura: I know
Laura: and finaly, my favorite.
Laura: What does a redhead, an anniversary, and toilets have in in common?
Me: I have no idea?
Laura: Men always miss them
Me: *dies laughing*
Me: Once you go red, you stay red. (We make you.)
Laura: and to top all of that off, a quote from Lucille Ball
Me: Wasn't she originally blonde?
Laura: yeah, but she died her hair red and luckily had the attitude to match
Me: Oh, well, that's all right then.
Laura: "Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead."
Me: Well, duh.