sommer
livejournal has gotten a little fancy since the last time that i wrote something.
normally, i don't write in here. mostly because i don't want to be grouped with the angsty emo kids. but i've decided that my other journal, my real life journal, has to be all in german because next year will be all in german.
with that said, i'm back in washington for the summer. i'm really glad that i'm not in cave junction, but i'll get to that.
this weekend, i went backpacking with my dad and my brothers. it was great. I wasn't really used to the nature thing, but it was still fun. i through up from too much cocoa, but that's one of the risks you take when you're a mile's hike away from anyone.
living with my grandma is nice. when i say nice, i mean a little annoying. not really, but kind of. Tonight at dinner, it was me, my aunt, and my grandma, was the first thing that really annoyed me, but it was my aunt who did it. Before we had started eating, i had my elbows on th table. My aunt hit them and gave me what can only be described as a stern look. then, as i was eating, she turned to me and said that if i scraped my fork on my teeth one more time, she was gonna kill me. i thought that was the end of it, but nope. she then told me several times to sit up straight, and not to chew with my mouth open. but i want you to understand that all of those things happened once, or maybe twice, and not to any degree that needed correcting.
but the food was great. it really was.
so my mom called me. but actually eddie called me, and then handed the phone to her. After her joking about having had a heart attack (?), i could tell immediately that she was drunk. That's weird, mom, because i remember telling you that i don't want to talk to you when you're drunk. I would understand if i called her when i was drunk, but i don't.... but maybe i will.... but when will i be drunk again! that is the real question. anyway, it was a long and boring conversation, and i was just trying the whole time to just accept that sometimes she drinks.
i don't know why it's so hard to just talk to her when she's been drinking, and so easy to be around my brother drinking, and sitting at the table as my aunt and grandma have beer and talk about drunken nights. i'm glad that it's not like i'm against everyone drinking, and i really want to stop treating it as this secret thing that people do every night.
god, my mom fucked me up.
so the other day i've decided that this was my summer of growth. i'm not sure what that means, and even when i thought it, i just laughed because, what? My plan is to lose 15 pounds, maybe more.. we'll see. i think the most important thing is that i look good, and not how much i weigh. my gym membership is in the process of existing, but when my dad flakes out, and his fiancee thinks he's signing me up, then i kind of get screwed.
dj called me today. that was a surprise. i really didn't expect him to ever call me. and it's annoying when i make references to aqua teen or the office and no one here laughs.
my room is really hot right now. oh, and my grandma figured out that i like to spend her money. she said something to daylan about it, so i have to be more careful, and do things around the house without expecting things.
i can't wait until i get a job and car. then, the summer will be great.
i might get a silver razor phone. i don't know how i feel about razors, but if it looks cool, i'll take it. and hey, it's free.
also, i'm a little afraid that i'm not going to change as much as i want to when i'm in germany. i konw for sure i'll have a lot of fun, but i just have so many friends going (okay, 3) that know me so well, and i'm scared that i'll just stay who i am. i guess i don't really know what im expecting to happen, but i'll know if it doesnt, that's for sure. either way, i'm excited.
normally, i don't write in here. mostly because i don't want to be grouped with the angsty emo kids. but i've decided that my other journal, my real life journal, has to be all in german because next year will be all in german.
with that said, i'm back in washington for the summer. i'm really glad that i'm not in cave junction, but i'll get to that.
this weekend, i went backpacking with my dad and my brothers. it was great. I wasn't really used to the nature thing, but it was still fun. i through up from too much cocoa, but that's one of the risks you take when you're a mile's hike away from anyone.
living with my grandma is nice. when i say nice, i mean a little annoying. not really, but kind of. Tonight at dinner, it was me, my aunt, and my grandma, was the first thing that really annoyed me, but it was my aunt who did it. Before we had started eating, i had my elbows on th table. My aunt hit them and gave me what can only be described as a stern look. then, as i was eating, she turned to me and said that if i scraped my fork on my teeth one more time, she was gonna kill me. i thought that was the end of it, but nope. she then told me several times to sit up straight, and not to chew with my mouth open. but i want you to understand that all of those things happened once, or maybe twice, and not to any degree that needed correcting.
but the food was great. it really was.
so my mom called me. but actually eddie called me, and then handed the phone to her. After her joking about having had a heart attack (?), i could tell immediately that she was drunk. That's weird, mom, because i remember telling you that i don't want to talk to you when you're drunk. I would understand if i called her when i was drunk, but i don't.... but maybe i will.... but when will i be drunk again! that is the real question. anyway, it was a long and boring conversation, and i was just trying the whole time to just accept that sometimes she drinks.
i don't know why it's so hard to just talk to her when she's been drinking, and so easy to be around my brother drinking, and sitting at the table as my aunt and grandma have beer and talk about drunken nights. i'm glad that it's not like i'm against everyone drinking, and i really want to stop treating it as this secret thing that people do every night.
god, my mom fucked me up.
so the other day i've decided that this was my summer of growth. i'm not sure what that means, and even when i thought it, i just laughed because, what? My plan is to lose 15 pounds, maybe more.. we'll see. i think the most important thing is that i look good, and not how much i weigh. my gym membership is in the process of existing, but when my dad flakes out, and his fiancee thinks he's signing me up, then i kind of get screwed.
dj called me today. that was a surprise. i really didn't expect him to ever call me. and it's annoying when i make references to aqua teen or the office and no one here laughs.
my room is really hot right now. oh, and my grandma figured out that i like to spend her money. she said something to daylan about it, so i have to be more careful, and do things around the house without expecting things.
i can't wait until i get a job and car. then, the summer will be great.
i might get a silver razor phone. i don't know how i feel about razors, but if it looks cool, i'll take it. and hey, it's free.
also, i'm a little afraid that i'm not going to change as much as i want to when i'm in germany. i konw for sure i'll have a lot of fun, but i just have so many friends going (okay, 3) that know me so well, and i'm scared that i'll just stay who i am. i guess i don't really know what im expecting to happen, but i'll know if it doesnt, that's for sure. either way, i'm excited.