because i literally have nothing better to do...
for those of you interested in just how big of a dork i am, read the below emails...
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#1:
June 14th, 2005
Dear Mr. Nidetz,
This letter is to inform you that Ms. Deepa Bharani, Ms. Michelle Wang, and Mr. Benjamin Sherwin are all (tentatively) planning on attending tonight's seminar: Chips, Salsa, and Drinks - What More Do You Need? All attendees have requested more information regarding the time of the event. Mr. Sherwin asks for something around 7pm, so he can eat dinner beforehand. Ms. Bharani and Ms. Wang do not care what time, but have noted that you and I are insane for not allowing dinner to be served at the seminar.
Please respond as soon as possible with your preferred time.
Best regards,
Tori Danforth
Queso Queen - OTB Quality Control Committee
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#2:
June 14th, 2005 (+30 minutes)
Dear Ms. Danforth,
I would like to graciously acknowledge your invitation to said Tex-Mex seminar, and I will wholeheartedly accept it with the hope that we may all come to a more thorough understanding of the intricacies of that
little machine that takes dough and flattens it to make chips, as well as a more precise calculation of the optimal salsa-to-chip-surface area ratio.
My preferred time for this event is whenever our fellow OTB proselytes may also be able to attend. 7pm CST is fine with me. I encourage you to stress firmly to our peers that, indeed, dinner is not to be
purchased tonight. If the abovementioned Mr. Sherwin wishes to gorge himself on unnecessary foodstuffs such as entrees, he may do so on his own time.
With all the love and care that goes into assembling a good batch of tortilla chips,
Gary Nidetz
Mathematical Salsa Consultant and "Accounting Assistant" In Charge of E-mail Correspondence - OTB Quality Control Committee
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#3:
June 14, 2005 (around lunchtime)
Dear Mr. Nidetz,
We are confirmed for tonight at 7:15pm. The Gurnee participants intend to leave promptly at 7pm to meet you at the designated meeting place. Between then and now, I implore you to also ponder the cilantro-to-tomato ratio necessary for a successful batch of salsa. On the agenda is also a discussion of the importance of queso in a person's diet. Mr. Sherwin, whose middle name I believe is "Cheese-Hater" shall not take part in this discussion.
Thank you for your timely response, and I look forward to meeting with you soon.
Wishing you a zesty afternoon full of thoughts about salsa,
Tori Danforth
Queso Queen - OTB Quality Control Committee
P.S. I regret to inform you that Ms. Wang shall not be in attendance tonight. She has been called away to Schaumburg for the next two days, and will not be returning to our part of IL until tomorrow evening. I shall work on planning another seminar in the near future, so that she will not fall behind.
P.P.S. Invitations have been extended to roommates of previously mentioned participants. Their acceptances or denials are still forthcoming.
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#4:
June 14, 2005 (prior to, as my stomach would like to point out, a belated lunchtime)
Dear Ms. Danforth,
I will consider the cilantro-to-tomato ratio for a good salsa; however, you must know that, due to the cooking ability implicit in actually creating a necessary component of gourmet southern Texas cuisine, the calculation of this ratio will invariably be imprecise.
My colleague Scott in the snacking department (and, regrettably, a newcomer to OTB dining), has been invited as well. He has, of course, been apprised of the controls necessary for tonight's dining
experience.
Further to your correspondence, the inclusion of "cheese-hater" in your text in reference to Mr. Sherwin's distaste toward queso piqued my interest. If possible, I would like to submit to tonight's agenda a linguistic discussion on Spanglish, its impact on culture in the southern United States, and its prevalence in the American gastronomical lexicon.
Thank you for your confirmation and for your tireless efforts in organizing this very exciting expedition.
Buenas tardes,
Gary Nidetz
Mathematical Salsa Consultant - OTB Quality Control Committee
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#5:
June 14, 2005 (post lunch, hopefully for you as well)
Dear Mr. Nidetz,
As a self-proclaimed expert in what you call "gourmet southern Texas cuisine", I am extremely excited to hear the results of your mathematical calculations of cilantro-to-tomato ratios. A little Mexican bird named "Sparky" told me that you are proficient in statistics. Perhaps you will honor us with some distributions graphs or even some hypothesis testing?
Please inform your colleague that the Gurnee crew is delighted that he shall join us tonight. Having a newcomer in our midst will undeniably add value to our discussions this evening.
I'm worried that with the addition of a Spanglish discussion, there will not be adequate time to talk about a vital aspect to tonight's experience: Tex-Mex-style beverages and their complementary nature to chips and salsa. We may need to consider introducing a second part to tonight's seminar, to take place sometime next week. I shall run through some calculations to see if, in fact, it would be more economically feasible to spread this seminar into more than one session.
Any comments, suggestions, or questions you have are welcome.
taco bueno,
Tori Danforth
Senior Event Planner and GSTC Expert - OTB Quality Control Committee
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#1:
June 14th, 2005
Dear Mr. Nidetz,
This letter is to inform you that Ms. Deepa Bharani, Ms. Michelle Wang, and Mr. Benjamin Sherwin are all (tentatively) planning on attending tonight's seminar: Chips, Salsa, and Drinks - What More Do You Need? All attendees have requested more information regarding the time of the event. Mr. Sherwin asks for something around 7pm, so he can eat dinner beforehand. Ms. Bharani and Ms. Wang do not care what time, but have noted that you and I are insane for not allowing dinner to be served at the seminar.
Please respond as soon as possible with your preferred time.
Best regards,
Tori Danforth
Queso Queen - OTB Quality Control Committee
------------------------------------------------------------------
#2:
June 14th, 2005 (+30 minutes)
Dear Ms. Danforth,
I would like to graciously acknowledge your invitation to said Tex-Mex seminar, and I will wholeheartedly accept it with the hope that we may all come to a more thorough understanding of the intricacies of that
little machine that takes dough and flattens it to make chips, as well as a more precise calculation of the optimal salsa-to-chip-surface area ratio.
My preferred time for this event is whenever our fellow OTB proselytes may also be able to attend. 7pm CST is fine with me. I encourage you to stress firmly to our peers that, indeed, dinner is not to be
purchased tonight. If the abovementioned Mr. Sherwin wishes to gorge himself on unnecessary foodstuffs such as entrees, he may do so on his own time.
With all the love and care that goes into assembling a good batch of tortilla chips,
Gary Nidetz
Mathematical Salsa Consultant and "Accounting Assistant" In Charge of E-mail Correspondence - OTB Quality Control Committee
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
#3:
June 14, 2005 (around lunchtime)
Dear Mr. Nidetz,
We are confirmed for tonight at 7:15pm. The Gurnee participants intend to leave promptly at 7pm to meet you at the designated meeting place. Between then and now, I implore you to also ponder the cilantro-to-tomato ratio necessary for a successful batch of salsa. On the agenda is also a discussion of the importance of queso in a person's diet. Mr. Sherwin, whose middle name I believe is "Cheese-Hater" shall not take part in this discussion.
Thank you for your timely response, and I look forward to meeting with you soon.
Wishing you a zesty afternoon full of thoughts about salsa,
Tori Danforth
Queso Queen - OTB Quality Control Committee
P.S. I regret to inform you that Ms. Wang shall not be in attendance tonight. She has been called away to Schaumburg for the next two days, and will not be returning to our part of IL until tomorrow evening. I shall work on planning another seminar in the near future, so that she will not fall behind.
P.P.S. Invitations have been extended to roommates of previously mentioned participants. Their acceptances or denials are still forthcoming.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
#4:
June 14, 2005 (prior to, as my stomach would like to point out, a belated lunchtime)
Dear Ms. Danforth,
I will consider the cilantro-to-tomato ratio for a good salsa; however, you must know that, due to the cooking ability implicit in actually creating a necessary component of gourmet southern Texas cuisine, the calculation of this ratio will invariably be imprecise.
My colleague Scott in the snacking department (and, regrettably, a newcomer to OTB dining), has been invited as well. He has, of course, been apprised of the controls necessary for tonight's dining
experience.
Further to your correspondence, the inclusion of "cheese-hater" in your text in reference to Mr. Sherwin's distaste toward queso piqued my interest. If possible, I would like to submit to tonight's agenda a linguistic discussion on Spanglish, its impact on culture in the southern United States, and its prevalence in the American gastronomical lexicon.
Thank you for your confirmation and for your tireless efforts in organizing this very exciting expedition.
Buenas tardes,
Gary Nidetz
Mathematical Salsa Consultant - OTB Quality Control Committee
----------------------------------------------------------------
#5:
June 14, 2005 (post lunch, hopefully for you as well)
Dear Mr. Nidetz,
As a self-proclaimed expert in what you call "gourmet southern Texas cuisine", I am extremely excited to hear the results of your mathematical calculations of cilantro-to-tomato ratios. A little Mexican bird named "Sparky" told me that you are proficient in statistics. Perhaps you will honor us with some distributions graphs or even some hypothesis testing?
Please inform your colleague that the Gurnee crew is delighted that he shall join us tonight. Having a newcomer in our midst will undeniably add value to our discussions this evening.
I'm worried that with the addition of a Spanglish discussion, there will not be adequate time to talk about a vital aspect to tonight's experience: Tex-Mex-style beverages and their complementary nature to chips and salsa. We may need to consider introducing a second part to tonight's seminar, to take place sometime next week. I shall run through some calculations to see if, in fact, it would be more economically feasible to spread this seminar into more than one session.
Any comments, suggestions, or questions you have are welcome.
taco bueno,
Tori Danforth
Senior Event Planner and GSTC Expert - OTB Quality Control Committee
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