...we are golden, we are tarnished...

[rnbwfagcarnage]

I can't remember why I even logged into this old journal. I wish this thing smelled like an old book. I love the smell of old books. I think, just maybe, I log into this old girl and spew out some thoughts every now and then just to have some sort of release. That sounded nasty. I liked it. Haha.

I fear that no longer do I believe that I am special
Walked into the living room the other day and Matt was watching Fight Club.
Maybe all of Tyler Durden's bullshit speeches dug under my skin.
I am about to graduate from college and I don't feel like I've won.
I feel as if, somewhere down the line, my degree turned from being a victory to being the end.
I'm so lost I am surprised I can even spell the word "motivation".
I surely haven't felt it in ages.
At this point, this post has turned into the sort of self-obsessed whine-fest that my mind has been reeling against as of late.
I feel like the world is deluded with this idea that you are special. You will be famous. You will live a wonderful life.
There are six billion people in the world. What are the odds?
Maybe happiness is like winning the lottery. And I don't play the lottery.
Is that a universal fucking I feel?
Let us pray that destiny put on a condom.