[Tina's quarters - u and me]

[rn_chapel]

The nursery was finished. Everything at work was all set so that she could take her maternity leave without fretting about leaving things undone (Christine had arrived at a perfect time, really). Tina was beyond ready to go ahead and give birth. Just as soon as Darcy was ready

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[gold_ambition]

When.

When he got off shift, James did come over, unannounced, without asking. His being welcome was an assumption, but one he was willing to make. It was easier to assume, and if she wanted him gone, she could say so--and try to make him leave. As yet, she hadn't.

The spicy tang of whatever Tina had eaten still lingered when he entered, but he found her in the bathroom, tidying up for bed.

"Just in time," he murmured from the doorway.

[rn_chapel]

Tina laughed. "You have such a one-track mind." Which was part of why she was sure he'd lose interest any day now, but also part of why she sort of hoped, against reason, that he wouldn't. There was something really exciting about being the singular focus of all that energy.

She went to the doorway and kissed him, not wanting to start right off with a heavy "we need to talk" line. She was glad to see him. She wanted him to know that.

[gold_ambition]

Her laughter was fond, and he hadn't heard her complaining about his track, any. Not when she'd initiated their current arrangement, anyway. He put his arms around her--more difficult than it used to be--and kissed her back.

It was nice, as far as greetings went.

"I meant, for bed," he said, grinning. "To tuck you in, like a good girl."

[rn_chapel]

"Oh, well, in that case..." Tina slipped out of his arms and went to the bed. It would be better to talk all cuddled up, in any case. At least, she'd be more comfortable. Though maybe James wouldn't.

In the absence of certain knowledge, she decided to go with ensuring the comfort of the person whose preferences she did know, and slid under the covers.

[gold_ambition]

He stared after her for a moment, wondering if the thrill was gone. She's practically jumped him that night, and most of them since. Had something changed?

Was she just... comfortable?

James followed to the bed, smiling just in case, and settling beside her. He was propped up on one elbow, to look down at her.

"Hard day?"

[rn_chapel]

"No more than they usually are, lately," Tina said. "Just long, mostly."

She pressed up against him. "I want to talk about something. Darcy will be coming any day now - I mean literally any day now - and I think we should sort of discuss how that's going to change things."

[gold_ambition]

James froze, his instincts, Tina's signals, all creating a tangled mess low in his gut.

"What do you mean?"

[rn_chapel]

Tina looked up at him, eyebrows twitching toward incredulous mode. "I mean I'm going to have a newborn. My life is going to be different. Even if we both wanted this--" she waved a hand, indicating a nebulous something between them "--to go on exactly as it has been, that wouldn't be possible."

She took in the look on his face and sighed. "To put it as bluntly as possible... James, if you spend the night you'll be waking up with me every few hours when the baby cries and needs to be fed or changed. And I won't be able to have sex for some time, and probably won't have the energy or desire for a while even after I've recovered from childbirth. I just... You need to know that if that's all you're here for, it's not going to be an option."

Well. If that didn't send him running screaming into the night...

[gold_ambition]

He stared at her, unblinking, for a moment. Not even sure what he was feeling. Of course he was just here for sex. What else?

But he'd not even tried since getting here. Not with anyone. And objectively, it was obvious Tina shouldn't be his first choice.

And he didn't want to be anywhere else.

It was all very confusing. He didn't like it. The redhead had only proved, however, that while he was hardly unmanned he just didn't care, right now, about anyone else. It was beyond his control.

"We've not had sex before," he said.

[rn_chapel]

"You weren't sleeping over and doing my dishes before." Tina touched his face. "I'm sort of trying to give you an out, here, if you want it. You didn't sign on for any of this. I won't think less of you."

She'd be sad. More than she'd thought she would, she realized. But it was only reasonable. Less than a month of pretty fantastic sex did not a willing co-parent to another man's infant make. Particularly not out of someone like James.

Still... "But if you think you do want to be around for me - us - even though I'm going to have essentially no attention or energy to spare for the immediate future, and will always have to put Darcy's needs first, after that..." She shrugged. "If you want that, I'll empty out a drawer and you can at least keep some clothes here."

Huh. She hadn't exactly planned on telling him he could essentially move in. Maybe because she hadn't known that she wanted him to.

[gold_ambition]

His silence had a different character this time, as if the struggle had shifted. No one had ever cleared out a drawer. Not like that. It was all power and necessity and getting one's hooks in.

But he didn't want this. Didn't want the baby, didn't want anything permanent despite wanting Tina. Or rather, he didn't want what that meant. He just wanted to go on as before, having. He didn't want crying and no sex and someone not putting him first. That wasn't a good deal at all.

He leaned into her palm, eyes trained on hers as he turned slightly and laid a kiss on it.

"I need to think about that," he said, because he didn't want to say no, didn't want to leave right now, not with her being so sweet and warm and trusting him that much.

[rn_chapel]

"Of course." Tina traced his lips with her thumb. "Take your time."

Within a certain limit. But that went without saying.

"Is there anything you want to know? About what having Darcy around will be like?"

[gold_ambition]

He didn't want to know anything. Didn't want Darcy around at all.

"Yeah," he said. "Does it mean I can't do dishes in the nude?"

[rn_chapel]

Tina laughed softly. "Darcy won't mind. Neither would I."

[gold_ambition]

He traced a hand down her side.

"That's reassuring," he murmured. He could deal with this later. Maybe this was it. Maybe this would be the last night they could be together, before James had to run, as he must.

It was a big station. He could avoid her. Couldn't he? Leave her cold?

He didn't want to think about that now, either.

[rn_chapel]

She laughed again. "You're back on track, huh?"

It would have been nice if he wanted to talk it over a little bit more. Would have reassured her that he was taking it seriously. But it wasn't exactly surprising that he didn't want to.