Apr 05, 2010 01:52
This song keeps spinning in my head.
Hallelujah
The dreams are always the same. We are mutual yet not there yet.
Always a common circumstance that feels so real.
I wake up and realize it is a dream.
These dreams keep spinning a doubtful web around me.
Can I keep living with out you? It feels like there is a void in my life.
I contemplate picking up my quill and telling you how I feel.
There were secrets and lies and the time I needed you the most you were gone. I had pushed you away.
I wanted to protect you for the very last time, even if it was out of a selfish act.
The subsequent acts destroyed me, and burned me. I lost who I was, and became who I am.
I hated competing with you in my mind. I missed that we were never together enough.
I hated we kept things from each other. You tried to fix me, but I shattered into pieces.
I was in love, and loss, and heart break. I was not ready.
The pain ran deep, and I am sorry for pushing away the one person I should have kept close.
I see you now, how much you have grown from when we first met. I see the happy person you have become.
I wish I was still part of that happiness.
I wish you were here to see the person I have become.
I am proud but doubtful. I am ambitious, but uncertain. I am home, but far from comfort.
One line still resonates through my head. When I hear this I think of what we have become.
And I miss you less and less every day.