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one day last week at the house next door
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tonight there's a 40% chance of snow
i keep thinking i'm colder than i should be but it's actually pretty
cold
i'm really very upset about my scarf disappearing from work
really upset like i can't stop thinking about it and where it might be in some dump somewhere
it's been through alot with me and it was really big and cozy and perfect ribby woven cotton
and now it's gone after 8 years
it was my blankie!
i don't even have a picture
i want to get another job
people that throw away or take coworker's stuff are fucked up
and i'm still sick after two weeks and sleep deprived and generally discombobulated
obsessing over all the important things i've lost and all the people that turned out to be jerks
and not sleeping and feeling crappy and feeling needy and lonely
i keep telling myself it will pass it's just my immunity is low
today was just wierd
i'm at work and this random construction guy tells me i look like somebody and then later from across the room asks if i'm single
which was oddly kind of cute
but god i'm sickly and pale and miserable does he need glasses or something??
i don't know
and then i went to the clinic to see if i have strep or something and the doctor thinks i'm pregnant
i skipped my last period i think because of stress
and that is saying something serious for me not to be worried
i never skip but i knew the math so i wasn't worried at all i mean it would have been immaculate for real
but i guess you never know so i let her give me a pee test and sat with that and all that entails for a bit
today is the first day i ever took a pregnancy test that came out negative
that is something to remember
so i decided to take the antibiotics because did you know sinus infections can be fatal if left untreated?
"If a person experiences mild personality changes, headache, altered consciousness, visual problems, or seizures, infection may have spread to the brain. Coma and even death may follow."
no seizures yet, thank goodness i caught it it time yeah?
so we're finaly back together you know wink wink too you know?
and then i get sick and now i'm on antibiotics and plus the pregnancy scare to freak me out which means i'm out of luck for another three weeks or so, lovely
maybe he'll get sick to and we can tack another month on
i need to go think about bunnies or something
isn't that a pretty tree up there?
if it wasn't dark i could pull my curtain open and see it right now
i need a hug
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