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[rmiller10002]

look, liz i dont want you to worry about me right now, just worry about figuring out how to be happy with yourself, and love yourself for who you are. I love you for who you really are, and i hope you you can love yourself for that too. Just dont go getting massively depressed and do anything rash. Ill be waiting here for you, theres no need to

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[rmiller10002]

I wanna try meeting with all three of you and talking, or in some way trying to straighten some things out. I wanna try even if it wont help, i wanna show them that i have the courage to say im sorry, and to stand up for you, and to stand up for us. I want them to be able to respect me, and i want to atleast try, even if they never will. I love you liz, and you are worth everything, all the confusion, all the god damn drama, you are worth dealing with it all. Just promise me you wont go back and forth about your choice over and over again, and that you will use this time to truly become happy with yourself, and grow as an individual. I fell in love with you because you were your own person, and i also saw who you could be. I see within you so much passion, so much talent, intelligence, strength, love, and so many other things that i know you can be. I love you liz, and i just want you to be you, because i love you for you, and because i dont want you to go through life pretending youre someone else. I said i would do anything for you, and i meant it. Since this is what you said you need right now, i will respect that. I just wish i could have atleast heard you say that you loved me from your own lips, and held you and kissed you one more time, before this. I love you liz, and i miss everything about being with you, but most of all i miss your smile and that look in your eyes, when youre truly happy and passionate about someone or something. your whole face lights up, and everything about you seems to shine. You are beautiful, both in appearance, and in personality. I just wish this drama and confusion wasnt hurting you, that you didnt feel any pain at all, and that i could make it all better for you. You have a place in my heart for you that needs filling when you decide youre ready to claim it. I love you and despite everything, im trying to be understanding and forgive your parents. I also know that i played almost as big if not equally as big a part in this as they did. Just be you, and love yourself, and be happy with being you. Thats what you need to do right now, and what i want you to do. I miss you just being yourself. the drama and the tug of war and the controlling on both sides took that away from you, and im sorry for the part i played in that. I truly am, and im sorry i let it change me too. I have the real me back, the me you fell in love with, and hes not going anywhere. Like i said though if you wanna contact me when you feel you are truly ready, then ill be here. And if you need me ill be here to listen, and ill help any way i can. And if you want me to come with you to either of your proms, id like to, but only if you are sure youre ready. I dont wanna push myself on you, or make you feel like you HAVE to risk it. Its your choice, and your life, i just wanna be a part of it. and please dont do anything too rash, please dont leave unless you absolutely have to, if things there are hurting you too much, not just because you want to see me. Ill wait for you, and ill still be there for you. BTW, if you do decide you want me to come to either of your proms, just make sure you give me enough notice so i can get a tux, otherwise im going in a fig leaf, lol. and we all know where that would go, not to mention the wierd looks from arenowitz, lol. look, no matter what anybody tells you, you are a wonderful person, and you can do whatever you set your mind to, and you are worth it. Even something steve said today doesnt change the way i feel about you. which reminds me, i almost decked him today for what he said, lol. atleast we know i have some self control.