Please do me a favor and be fucking honest, Why are you with me? Is it cuz you just like telling people you have a g/f, or are you just in it for the sex? When your serious about someone, you should try to become a part of their family, not try to pull them out of it. Why are you doing this, why do you WANT me to leave my family and give them up for a relationship we don't even know is going to work? Why are you so fuckin desperate to physically have me with you? I miss tou too, but your still just as god damn clingy as you were. Your actually worse, and why do you keep comming to the school? I love you (or who you were, or w/e) but your kinda creepy sometimes, seriously. Please stop and back the fuck off. (I mean that in the nicest possible way!) Your never happy with "Hi, how was your day" WHY? we aren't even supposed to have that, so why do you have to take it so much farther? Please don't just get mad, and please be honest. Even if I'm not gunna like the answer.
im with you because i love you, otherwise, i wouldnt have stuck with you through all this shit since november damnit, i love you, whether you believe it or not. creepy? youre the one who said you needed to talk to me. Plus wtf? how am i creepy lately? Plus, i dont wanna pull you out of your family damnit, i do wanna be a part of it, but your fmaily obviously doesnt want me, as shows by that last letter. Why did i come to the school? two reasons, one i was asked to by one of the teachers, and two, because you said you needed to talk. And then i find out from ammie that youve been saying youre gonna dump me, and left once you found out i was there. I bust my ass, and my mom inconveniences herself because you say you need to talk. hmmmmmmmm, lets see now if i didnt care about you i would just ignore you and not try to be there when you say you need me. clingy? how? i dont even see you. And damnit i am happy that i atleast get to talk to you online. Youre the one who said you already had a bag packed and were about ready to
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btw, doing "THIS"? what the hell did i do? i dont want you to leave your family if its just for me. How the hell do you think i would feel about being the one responsible for that? Responsible for tearing your family apart. but youre the one who tells me you hate them, and then you love them, and then you hate them. I dont even know what the fuck is going on over there anymore. And damnit, werent you just as desperate the other day to physically be with me? sorry but i have other reasons i do things besides you. nicest way possible huh? you know what, lets see what happens next time you say you need to talk to me, if i bust my ass to be there for you and be stood up, or if i say sorry, im busy. I didnt wanna have to come to the school in the first place. But you know what, you said you needed me, so i busted my ass to try to be there. how do you want me to back off anyways? not post on live journal? not bother replying to posts you leave me? not giving a damn about you when you say you need me? you tell me, becuase
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i love you, whether you believe it or not, and THAT is the reason im with you. If i didnt i would be long gone with some other girl. But i love you, and from what youve said you love me too, and youve said that you know i love you. But im seriously questioning whether you believe a word i say, or whether anything i do or ive changed about myself means a damn thing to you. Because this is yet another time youve decided to question my intentions. Lets get one thing straight. I love you, but if for the duration of our relationship, and if we did end up together, and you kept questioning who i was, and whether i really loved you or not, then im not gonna put up with it. Take me for who i am now, not who i was in the past, and judge me then. Dont let anyone else influence your decisions but you, and what you see me as, look at me with a clear mind. you know, something deep inside me still tells me its gonna work out somehow, but it really hurts when you question my intentions, my morals, and my love for you. not to mention call
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make up your mind, and stick to it, instead of going back and forth one minute to the next whether you feel like im clingy or not and going off at me without warning. I love you, but you picked a bad day to go off at me. What the hell set you off anyways? im sorry if showing up when you say you need me counts as clingy to you. BTW, i think arthur was tryin to make me thing youre hitting on some other guy at lunch, but you know what, i dont believe him, because i trust you, and believe it or not, i dont get jealous anywhere near as easily as i used to. I dealt with my issues, otherwise with this shit goin on, i probably wouldnt even be okay enough to go to school or work, or i probably wouldnt be alive. So you know what it hurts alot, with how hard ive worked to get through my issues that you come after me like this without even talking to me first and treating me how you wanna be treated.
Matt, I don't know what the hell your issues were or if you fixed them because I've heard you say that sooooo many times! (none of them were really true for long) What makes this time different? I don't see you so I don't really know. I go off at you because I don't know what to do right now. You have 2 very different sides. one is really really sweet and fun and understanding, and the other one is an ass hole. I love the first one but I hate the ass hole. I know I can be a bitch too, but yours is like another personallity. Ifa anyone even points out that your different it just gets worse. I don't get why you think you have to be like that. But the side I hate was taking over and seems to be around more the the one I love. I really think that we need time away from eachother, I'm sorry. But nither of us can handle this right now.
neither of us can handle this? i cant handle this without you. and the asshole? i dealt with my issues, but this whole bullshit is another story. do you expect me to like the situation, to accept it. damnit, it wasnt 2 different sides, it was my issues, compounded by your parents trying to control our relationship. do you know how close i am to calling them and telling them to butt the hell out? would you even stand by me if i did, like you said you would? I dont wanna make you choose. Obviously they do. By virtue of their actions theyve shown that they want you to choose either me or them. I want everything to work out fine, but it looks like they dont. and i dont wanna pull you out of your family, i want to be a part of it too, but they obviously dont want me, and they dont think im good enough for you, and that you should move on. Can you even stand up for me over there, or stand by in all of this, or are you too scared? Im scared youre not gonna come out of there in one piece, and that we'll lose contact forever, and
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When your serious about someone, you should try to become a part of their family, not try to pull them out of it.
Why are you doing this, why do you WANT me to leave my family and give them up for a relationship we don't even know is going to work? Why are you so fuckin desperate to physically have me with you? I miss tou too, but your still just as god damn clingy as you were. Your actually worse, and why do you keep comming to the school?
I love you (or who you were, or w/e) but your kinda creepy sometimes, seriously. Please stop and back the fuck off. (I mean that in the nicest possible way!)
Your never happy with "Hi, how was your day" WHY? we aren't even supposed to have that, so why do you have to take it so much farther?
Please don't just get mad, and please be honest. Even if I'm not gunna like the answer.
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I go off at you because I don't know what to do right now. You have 2 very different sides. one is really really sweet and fun and understanding, and the other one is an ass hole. I love the first one but I hate the ass hole. I know I can be a bitch too, but yours is like another personallity. Ifa anyone even points out that your different it just gets worse. I don't get why you think you have to be like that. But the side I hate was taking over and seems to be around more the the one I love.
I really think that we need time away from eachother, I'm sorry. But nither of us can handle this right now.
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