Some of John's Policies
Gun control: Now I have a machine gun. Ho Ho Ho. Clearly John believes in a system which we can all believe in. Guns for Christmas, because really, you never know when or where terrorists strike. If they hit your home on Christmas morning, wouldn't you have liked to have gotten a Semi-automatic weapon from Santa? Of course you would have.
How to combat obesity in America: A little thing they invented back in the sixties called 'jogging'. You're gonna love it. And also, Take that fucking Twinkie out of your mouth. It needs a bit of work on the wording, but John's right. Its up to us to start to make the changes. Outlawing trans fats and making McDonalds won't do shit if you go home and pop a few Twinkies. A more hands off approach that allows the individual person to address it works best for everyone.
Interrogation techniques: You're gonna tell me what I wanna know, or I'm gonna beat you to death in your own house. This is what we need. No more of this pussy, please tell us. Make some threats and more importantly carry them out.
Technology:As far as I'm concerned, progress peaked with frozen pizza. In fairness to John, he hasn't played R6V2 online, but in reality, I am craving a Stoufers French Bread Pizza right now, so I can't even debate the truth behind that statement.
Racial Equality. Look the man walked around Harlem with a sign strapped to him proclaiming that he hated Niggers. We know its not true, but he did it because he didn't want to see black people killed. Its something you would never see any of hte other candidates try.
Live Free or Die Hard. McClane in 2008!
And if you're not sure about what John has ever done to deserve the presidency, a quick history.
He has:
Blown up a helicopter with a car
Thrown a dead man out a window of a skyscraper
Walked on glass with bare feet
Shot a man through his own chest
Jumped onto a moving subway
Jumped off an exploding boat
Jumped off an exploding building
Saved a skyscraper from terrorists
Saved an airport from terrorists
Saved New York City from terrorists
Saved Canada from terrorists
Saved the entire internet from terrorists
Blown up an airplane with a single match
Rode a flaming fighter jet
Tied a dead man to a chair, put a Santa hat on him and painted a message on him with his own blood.
How to combat obesity in America: A little thing they invented back in the sixties called 'jogging'. You're gonna love it. And also, Take that fucking Twinkie out of your mouth. It needs a bit of work on the wording, but John's right. Its up to us to start to make the changes. Outlawing trans fats and making McDonalds won't do shit if you go home and pop a few Twinkies. A more hands off approach that allows the individual person to address it works best for everyone.
Interrogation techniques: You're gonna tell me what I wanna know, or I'm gonna beat you to death in your own house. This is what we need. No more of this pussy, please tell us. Make some threats and more importantly carry them out.
Technology:As far as I'm concerned, progress peaked with frozen pizza. In fairness to John, he hasn't played R6V2 online, but in reality, I am craving a Stoufers French Bread Pizza right now, so I can't even debate the truth behind that statement.
Racial Equality. Look the man walked around Harlem with a sign strapped to him proclaiming that he hated Niggers. We know its not true, but he did it because he didn't want to see black people killed. Its something you would never see any of hte other candidates try.
Live Free or Die Hard. McClane in 2008!
And if you're not sure about what John has ever done to deserve the presidency, a quick history.
He has:
Blown up a helicopter with a car
Thrown a dead man out a window of a skyscraper
Walked on glass with bare feet
Shot a man through his own chest
Jumped onto a moving subway
Jumped off an exploding boat
Jumped off an exploding building
Saved a skyscraper from terrorists
Saved an airport from terrorists
Saved New York City from terrorists
Saved Canada from terrorists
Saved the entire internet from terrorists
Blown up an airplane with a single match
Rode a flaming fighter jet
Tied a dead man to a chair, put a Santa hat on him and painted a message on him with his own blood.