210 - Crystal Ball
'Why am I here? I mean honestly it's not like this guy is going to know anything about my future. Not like it really matters anyway. Futures. Ha. That's like trying to predict what I'm going to wear tomorrow. Not likely happening. Oh you know what sounds good? That pair of jeans I just got from Martini. She was nice. What kind of a name is Martini? I bet she likes Martinis. Maybe she doesn't like them. You know who likes Martinis? James Bond. He's pretty cool. I bet I could introduce myself that way. Zoolander, Derek Bond. No. Wait. That's not right. Zoolander, Derek Zoolander, there we go. I wonder if James Bond ever forgets. No. He's pretty smart. I bet he never forgets his name. Huh. I wonder if that's his real name. It could be like a code name. He sure looks different in some of the movies. What if it's like that Doctor thing. Man that guy was weird. He had cool hair though. Not as cool as mine though. Man this line is long. What is taking so long? Don't these people know how important I am? They really should figure that out. I'm like... really important. Hello? Duh. Stupid people. Look he's just going to tell you that you're all cool and that you should buy boats and houses and have babies. I wonder if I have any babies out there. Little Derek's making their mark on the world. That's actually sort of scary. I bet they'll grow up and be models and take all the jobs that I want. Man child models get all the good gigs. I could have totally done that Angel Soft commercial. Whatever. Too outside the box for them. Put this in your box lame director guy. What is taking so long? Finally. Finally it's moving. Oh yeah sure you have lots of troubles. I'm really sure. Oh what did your dog run away? Do you have syphilis? Oh. I shouldn't have thought joked about that. Dear God of Venereal Diseases please don't give me anything like that for making fun of this guy in front of me in line. Oh well that was short. Maybe he didn't have that many problems. Maybe he did have syphilis. Poor guy. Finally it's my turn. Huh. Stuff to read.. blah blah blah ZOLTAR... blah blah... place coin... yeah coin is there. Make Wish.'
"I wish my next look was as popular and world known as my other looks like Blue Steel and Magnum."
'Aim coin... mouth... and... now what? Oh. Oooh look at that. Hey he's moving. Oh. It's like that movie Huge! Card.. card where's the card... Stupid machine! It's supposed to have card... isn't it supposed to be... I mean. There are people behind me come on. I can't not get my card... what? It's not even plugged in?
"Uh... it was totally like that when I got here."
"I wish my next look was as popular and world known as my other looks like Blue Steel and Magnum."
'Aim coin... mouth... and... now what? Oh. Oooh look at that. Hey he's moving. Oh. It's like that movie Huge! Card.. card where's the card... Stupid machine! It's supposed to have card... isn't it supposed to be... I mean. There are people behind me come on. I can't not get my card... what? It's not even plugged in?
"Uh... it was totally like that when I got here."