It's like riding a bike...
Sometimes, I really do wonder about myself. I mean, really self? You really somehow managed to forget how to ride a damn bike?!
Now, granted, I haven't ridden a bike since the early or mid-90's, so I expected to be a bit rusty. But yesterday was so embarassing.
First, I spaced on how to get on the damn thing. I forgot how to peddle, then hop on, so I tried to hop on too soon and ended up falling over and getting a might too friendly with the seat, then I kept scraping my leg on the damn pedal every time I careened over and almost fell.
When I was up, I was too wobbly (seriously, wouldn't surprise me to find that whoever saw me "ride" thought I was drunk or going through withdrawls. *face palm*
I kept steering the bike towards the sidewalk so I'd have to hurry up and either steer away or just crash into the sidewalk.
When I was coming down the hill (cause where I live is nothing but hills.) I was speeding up and while I had my hands on the brakes (after I found them omg) I guess I figured I'd end up either going so slow I wouldn't be able to fully get out of the way of any cars or that I'd stop short and flip over the handlebars. I mean, I was panicking. So what do I decide to do? SAIL ON RIGHT INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE MAIN ROAD. I am insanely lucky that no cars were coming or I'd be sending this from Heaven/Hell/Wherever.
Like, insanely lucky. The people around here drive like they're auditioning for NASCAR or something.
On the way home, I was again, so paranoid I'd end up crushed under a car, that I kept way to close to the side of a building and ended up scraping my hand along the wall. While I was no doubt being observed by two people in a parked car and the other cars zooming on by.
Needless to say, it was quite the experience. I have no real defense for anything I did. It's like my brain refused to work properly and use logic. Oh, and I almost slammed head first into a pole as I was flying down the sidewalk. Happily my brain kicked in and I jerked the wheel in time but yeah.
This is why I don't do things. This is why I should either be watched by some keeper or just sit quitely and try not to hurt myself.
I am a danger. So look out world, cause here I come! No, seriously watch hell out. *le sigh* ;p