(no subject)
my voice teaher might have something wrong with her vocal chords so she might not be able to teach me voice lessons of like 9 months. RRRRGGGHHHH which angers me yet it might be a good thing be cause i might finally get the guitar lessons that i have been wanting. I really want to do better in music and don't feel that i am being pushed enough and that it all my parents fault for thier choice of teachers over the years. that i should be way more advanced than i am now and i am going to be no where near ready to actually get into a good college that i want to get into. That really worries me. like what if i can't get a career taht i like and i end up with a job that i don't like and then i will regret everything that i did. the future is so unpredictible and i can't stand it. i don't like not knowing where my life is heading. i want to be great, but right now i don't feel at all good enough or like i could actually get anywhere in life. when i think too much about life it starts to drive me crazy and maybe i shouldn't worry about the future but idk i can't really help it. its depressing, to think one day people around you are going to be gone, either moved away and not talk to them any more or and you might just only have your slef to rely on. its weird the way i picture how my life might turn out and the way it might actually turn out will prolly be nowhere near whati had imagined.