so
i'm sitting here. thinking.
and wishing. and wondering.
what i'm supposed to be doing. like if this isn't good. that i'm sitting here.
i had a dream last night. about my grandma who i never met. she told me to be happy. and never give up on those people who i care about most. it was a signal. so i'll get to work on it. grandma. it's weird she was there in my dream. she just knocked on the door. i opened it and she walked in and sat down. i got her something to drink. and some ice-cream.
she just looked at me. said i was growing up and asked me if i could do something for her. i said of course. and she said never give up on those you care about most. and i said i'll try. and she said rachel i'll try isn't good enough. YOU NEED TO. and i was like ok i will. and she said also remember that i need to smile. and i told her i do. and she said that's my girl. and i asked her what she would do differently if she could relive. and she said nothing cause then i might not be alive. and i woke up crying. like balling my eyes out. pillow wet and everything. i haven't told my parents i'm hoping my dad will take me to her and my grandpas grave soon.
it was weird. before i woke up. she asked me one question and said. what makes you smile. and i said this boy. and she looked at me and luaghed and said that's good. and then added. anything else. and i said my friends. and she said anything else. and i said my many mistakes in the past. and she said rachel think. and i said i don't know. and she said everything should make you smile cause you only live once and you don't want to regret the frowns that should have been smiles.
i really wish i would have met her.
much love
-rae
and wishing. and wondering.
what i'm supposed to be doing. like if this isn't good. that i'm sitting here.
i had a dream last night. about my grandma who i never met. she told me to be happy. and never give up on those people who i care about most. it was a signal. so i'll get to work on it. grandma. it's weird she was there in my dream. she just knocked on the door. i opened it and she walked in and sat down. i got her something to drink. and some ice-cream.
she just looked at me. said i was growing up and asked me if i could do something for her. i said of course. and she said never give up on those you care about most. and i said i'll try. and she said rachel i'll try isn't good enough. YOU NEED TO. and i was like ok i will. and she said also remember that i need to smile. and i told her i do. and she said that's my girl. and i asked her what she would do differently if she could relive. and she said nothing cause then i might not be alive. and i woke up crying. like balling my eyes out. pillow wet and everything. i haven't told my parents i'm hoping my dad will take me to her and my grandpas grave soon.
it was weird. before i woke up. she asked me one question and said. what makes you smile. and i said this boy. and she looked at me and luaghed and said that's good. and then added. anything else. and i said my friends. and she said anything else. and i said my many mistakes in the past. and she said rachel think. and i said i don't know. and she said everything should make you smile cause you only live once and you don't want to regret the frowns that should have been smiles.
i really wish i would have met her.
much love
-rae