Whan a Band-Aid isn't big enough...
Okay, this is the second guest blog from relliott4 from last week, while I was gone. I'm setting it for the date she actually posted it, so this may not show up on friends lists. Sorry.
This is Rinda, guest blogging for Rachel again. ;)
So, yesterday, I revealed some of our funnier critique comments. How about a further glimpse? These are less amusing and a little more… in your face.
Some might think I’m crazy to share all this, but I do honestly believe that we all have times our writing doesn’t click. A fresh pair of eyes can mean all the difference. But this process can be oh so tricky.
Writer’s egos can be fragile monsters.
Now, I have told Rachel I thought an entire scene needed to be cut before. She’s done the same thing back. I once got so enraptured with my own witty dialogue, I didn’t realize it didn’t further the plot at all.
I had a query and synopsis that was getting multiple agent requests. The first chapter resulted in rejections-- though they were all positive about the writing itself. One agent told me straight out that my plot was great, but the opening needed to be more active. Now, Rachel hadn’t seen this opening in forever, so I basically sat down, wrote something entirely new and sent it to her. She called me on the phone to say I’d nailed it. After submitting that new first chapter, every agent asked for more, one offered and one was on the verge of offering.
My point is we get too close to our own work. Sometimes, we can’t see the problems. I much prefer having Rachel tell me something sucks to um, having my agent or a future editor tell me that.
This business can be hard. Very hard. Our egos take a bruising and it’s so easy to jot off a reactive email-especially in response to a critique we don’t agree with. My advice is to read it, then shut it down and do something else. Let your mind mull over the suggestions. I guarantee when you go back, you’ll see it with clearer vision.
So, without further ado, here are some of my more frank comments to Rachel first.
This makes her sound about seven.
Oh, don’t shoot me, but this doesn’t ring true. She just found out she’s not human-she’s reacted quite well. But here, I thing she’d have a much, much stronger reaction-a physical one. She’d be afraid.
I had a hard time with this line. I think he’s been pretty obvious and while she’s drawn it out, this almost makes her look dense. Instead, she could hold her breath and realize internally that he’s asking for a permanent commitment.
Well, I’d think about this statement. Yeah, she didn’t like the woman, but since this is about the missing dancer, it kind of sound like she’s generalizing them all. Pretty judgmental and some readers again might find it offensive-especially since they know the missing dancer was a nice person and needed the money.
Why would they celebrate a New Orleans corpse? Are New Orleans cats bad?
How does she know this? His new look could mean anything. She could however, put the noises together with Dan’s noises and end this chapter on a question instead of an outright assumption.
Okay, I’m sucking in my ego here and sharing Rachel’s response to a chapter that should have sat a little longer before going to her. I normally write good fight scenes. But every single writer has off days.
This chapter resulted in page after page with the right side of the manuscript nothing but long strips of purple. (We color code our comments for each other.) It was one of those critiques that had me swallowing stomach acid back as I read, thinking maybe I needed a new career…
Instead, I read it, closed it and let it simmer for a little while. Later, I went back in and discovered that she’d been right to rip this one to shreds. And I had NOT seen this myself.
So. Here is ONE PAGE of those comments.
This one was the woman, right? She the only one left now?
So, what good is this circle if everyone can walk right through it?
Why, when he could have ripped open her throat? Did she wake up just in time? If not, it seems like he was being nice to her for no reason I can guess.
I didn’t realize they were that strong. Will this weaken them, or can they stay like this forever?
Why would the demon let her do all this? Isn’t he trying to kill her? What’s he doing while she does this?
Yeah, I’m surprised she can even move it, if the muscle is actually exposed. Is it torn?
Its response? Does it scream in pain? Can it even feel pain? Does it shove her? As is, it sounds like it’s just going to stand there and let her kill it.
Love this. Very creepy, and Beri’s angst is obvious.
Ooooh, why not?
Whoa, I didn’t see that coming. Cool.
An antecedent?
LOL! Thing is, I had not spent enough time tightening that chapter. Through her eyes, I saw the scene and wow, it really wasn’t good. I’m capable of better and she let me know it.
Just as I do for her.
It didn’t take that long to repair the scene after seeing where I went wrong from another’s POV.
If you feel you aren’t getting honest feedback from your CP, talk to them. Have a heart to heart and say, “This is what I need. Can you do this?” Not everyone can. But unless you ask, you never know. And yes, there will be times you’ll worry. Rachel and I do this and we’ve learned, the best thing to do is call. Call and ask,
“So, do you hate me now or what?” ;)
This is Rinda, guest blogging for Rachel again. ;)
So, yesterday, I revealed some of our funnier critique comments. How about a further glimpse? These are less amusing and a little more… in your face.
Some might think I’m crazy to share all this, but I do honestly believe that we all have times our writing doesn’t click. A fresh pair of eyes can mean all the difference. But this process can be oh so tricky.
Writer’s egos can be fragile monsters.
Now, I have told Rachel I thought an entire scene needed to be cut before. She’s done the same thing back. I once got so enraptured with my own witty dialogue, I didn’t realize it didn’t further the plot at all.
I had a query and synopsis that was getting multiple agent requests. The first chapter resulted in rejections-- though they were all positive about the writing itself. One agent told me straight out that my plot was great, but the opening needed to be more active. Now, Rachel hadn’t seen this opening in forever, so I basically sat down, wrote something entirely new and sent it to her. She called me on the phone to say I’d nailed it. After submitting that new first chapter, every agent asked for more, one offered and one was on the verge of offering.
My point is we get too close to our own work. Sometimes, we can’t see the problems. I much prefer having Rachel tell me something sucks to um, having my agent or a future editor tell me that.
This business can be hard. Very hard. Our egos take a bruising and it’s so easy to jot off a reactive email-especially in response to a critique we don’t agree with. My advice is to read it, then shut it down and do something else. Let your mind mull over the suggestions. I guarantee when you go back, you’ll see it with clearer vision.
So, without further ado, here are some of my more frank comments to Rachel first.
This makes her sound about seven.
Oh, don’t shoot me, but this doesn’t ring true. She just found out she’s not human-she’s reacted quite well. But here, I thing she’d have a much, much stronger reaction-a physical one. She’d be afraid.
I had a hard time with this line. I think he’s been pretty obvious and while she’s drawn it out, this almost makes her look dense. Instead, she could hold her breath and realize internally that he’s asking for a permanent commitment.
Well, I’d think about this statement. Yeah, she didn’t like the woman, but since this is about the missing dancer, it kind of sound like she’s generalizing them all. Pretty judgmental and some readers again might find it offensive-especially since they know the missing dancer was a nice person and needed the money.
Why would they celebrate a New Orleans corpse? Are New Orleans cats bad?
How does she know this? His new look could mean anything. She could however, put the noises together with Dan’s noises and end this chapter on a question instead of an outright assumption.
Okay, I’m sucking in my ego here and sharing Rachel’s response to a chapter that should have sat a little longer before going to her. I normally write good fight scenes. But every single writer has off days.
This chapter resulted in page after page with the right side of the manuscript nothing but long strips of purple. (We color code our comments for each other.) It was one of those critiques that had me swallowing stomach acid back as I read, thinking maybe I needed a new career…
Instead, I read it, closed it and let it simmer for a little while. Later, I went back in and discovered that she’d been right to rip this one to shreds. And I had NOT seen this myself.
So. Here is ONE PAGE of those comments.
This one was the woman, right? She the only one left now?
So, what good is this circle if everyone can walk right through it?
Why, when he could have ripped open her throat? Did she wake up just in time? If not, it seems like he was being nice to her for no reason I can guess.
I didn’t realize they were that strong. Will this weaken them, or can they stay like this forever?
Why would the demon let her do all this? Isn’t he trying to kill her? What’s he doing while she does this?
Yeah, I’m surprised she can even move it, if the muscle is actually exposed. Is it torn?
Its response? Does it scream in pain? Can it even feel pain? Does it shove her? As is, it sounds like it’s just going to stand there and let her kill it.
Love this. Very creepy, and Beri’s angst is obvious.
Ooooh, why not?
Whoa, I didn’t see that coming. Cool.
An antecedent?
LOL! Thing is, I had not spent enough time tightening that chapter. Through her eyes, I saw the scene and wow, it really wasn’t good. I’m capable of better and she let me know it.
Just as I do for her.
It didn’t take that long to repair the scene after seeing where I went wrong from another’s POV.
If you feel you aren’t getting honest feedback from your CP, talk to them. Have a heart to heart and say, “This is what I need. Can you do this?” Not everyone can. But unless you ask, you never know. And yes, there will be times you’ll worry. Rachel and I do this and we’ve learned, the best thing to do is call. Call and ask,
“So, do you hate me now or what?” ;)