It is better to have loved and lost, then to never haved loved at all

[rkshirer]

Wow It's been a really long time since I did this, but a friend of mine told me to update and so here I go. Last time I wrote was in January. god that's amnazing. Let's see. I have successfully completed 3 of my new year's resolutions(#1,2,and 4)If you look back. I went on the teacher's academy trip. got into a lot of trouble for lot's of things we broke like 20 school rules. It was bad, guys were in girls rooms, people having sex, drinking, hanging out windows(amanda aka monkey), 500 dollar long distance phone calls. Things like that. So the whole teacher academy at Woodham is in deep trouble I guess you could say. We have to do a project, creating and planing our own trips. I think it's to get a taste of our own medicine. I don't care, I haven't even started yet. I have a few weekes to work on it. Shortly after the trip I started dating Stephen. For a little background info: he goes to woodham, is in the teacher academy, we went on the trip together, he's 15, tall(like all of the guys I like), weird. Anyways we dated until about a week and a half ago. He broke up with me. His reason was that we don't see each other enough, even though we go to the same school and talk to each other every night. I will never understand guys. But now he wants to get back together, he says he made a mistake. I don't know what to do. I still like him, a little, but he really hurt me, I think I might be moving on. I don't know. Meltdown completely sucked. I did not have fun at all. Church is horrible. I hate(If I could bold and underline hate I would)going to church. Everyone is drifting apart and I don't really think I could call any of them friends anymore just aquaintences(sp?). I know I haven't done my part as a good friend, but once in awhile I would love to have one of my church friends call just to say hey or see how my day was going, because lately, they have been pretty shitty. I don't know what to do about it. I miss the connections we all used to have. Sarah and Katie are busy with band, Erin is busy with Chorus and school, Kendall is busy with SGA(at least that's what her mom says). I'm never busy I guess It's because I have no life. I really hope Erin gets a chance to read this because I don't feel like vocalizing it. Her and AJ being together doesn't bother me at all. I stopped liking him awhile ago. I haven't even talked to him in months. I'm not mad at her for that, I'm mad that she didn't tell me about her and him, and that, apparently, she's been trying to avoid this thing or talking about it with me. I'm already out of the loop on everything else, might as well add another thing in. Kathleen is not moving to new york, I guess that's a plus, but that also means a lot more whinning. We're flying up to new york for spring break. My grades are up at school. I'm going to the 3 doors down concert. I hope I'm not starting to like david. Somebody shoot me, all of this shit that I deal with everyday, with a fake smile on, is killing me.

It is better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all.