mother's day and my relationship with my mom
I started thinking about this post awhile ago, but just never really got around to finishing it...so here it is...
My mom and dad came down this weekend, and were helping me look for and buy a house or condo (when I picked them up, I was dressed up as a lincoln town car driver!). It was good to see them again, and I've started noticing that we are fighting less and less. This morning my mom started to press me on getting a graduate degree and a professional engineering license, and I got really upset, but there wasn't any screaming or blaming or twisting her words around or anything too crazy like that.
I have been thinking more and more about how I ended up in engineering, the job I have, and what I get to do. And yes, I know that I am very lucky to have the job I have (even though I do not get paid for all my hours or all my time). Most people (especially right now) would love to be in my shoes. On top of that, I have some time to go to school, and really learn about something that I really love doing. Sure, I complain about my job frequently, complain about incompetence, and people not knowing how to do their job, but really...I'm so thankful I have a good one.
So more on how I ended up in engineering, when I graduated high school, engineering was pretty much what my mom wanted me to do. After visiting the Philippines a few weeks ago, I can understand why, but also know that there are a lot more careers out there than just engineering where I can be just as successful. And while I could have switched anytime, I kind of choose to do it...hoping and thinking that maybe...maybe this will be good enough for her. Nothing I did ever was...so 3 years into it, I had already taken a lot of the classes...I just decided to stick it out, and just do it to get the degree. I did like bits, pieces, and parts of it, but never really whole-heartdly...And I also hated all the stigma and other things associated with engineering...all the fights, phone calls, twisting their words around, trying to get them to say things. But when I finally finished, I was told that I didn't make enough money. After that, I pretty much had it.
I started doing research on different schools, degree programs, and started really learning about the industry...little by little. Sure, there's some stuff that scares me...but lately I've been realizing that no matter what I've done...it's always turned out ok. There never was anything that I've completely failed at. And this tv thing will be no different. I ended up choosing a community college for a few reasons...first it's cheaper than a university, i can learn from people who probably still work in the industry (and not just academia), and really learn skills...so much of a university is theory, but I really prefer skills...I've also had good experiences with community colleges in the past, so I thought that this would be a good first route. And I'm actually right...I've never been this happy or this successful at school (with the exception of high school).
I told some of this to both of my parents today, and they agree with me. They want me to do it full time, and just be done with it...but I like the way that things are going. I like being able to both engineering and this tv thing. I do understand their point, and am considering it, but I really like doing it on my own...I just appreciate it more.
After being with my parents for the weekend, I think that the relationship with my parents is improving. Slowly, but steady. You know how I always say that I've always made up for my past? In high school, I made up for junior high, in college, i made up for high school, and now...I'm making up for college, by really doing something that I've wanted to do. I think that maybe...my parents are making up for our past relationship. I'm going to let them do it, they are trying...so we will just see what happens.
I know I'm still trying to figure out a lot of stuff, but I feel now that I am moving closer and closer to the right path.
So this mother's day...my relationship with my mom is improving...and I can't complain about that.
more later
-arjay
My mom and dad came down this weekend, and were helping me look for and buy a house or condo (when I picked them up, I was dressed up as a lincoln town car driver!). It was good to see them again, and I've started noticing that we are fighting less and less. This morning my mom started to press me on getting a graduate degree and a professional engineering license, and I got really upset, but there wasn't any screaming or blaming or twisting her words around or anything too crazy like that.
I have been thinking more and more about how I ended up in engineering, the job I have, and what I get to do. And yes, I know that I am very lucky to have the job I have (even though I do not get paid for all my hours or all my time). Most people (especially right now) would love to be in my shoes. On top of that, I have some time to go to school, and really learn about something that I really love doing. Sure, I complain about my job frequently, complain about incompetence, and people not knowing how to do their job, but really...I'm so thankful I have a good one.
So more on how I ended up in engineering, when I graduated high school, engineering was pretty much what my mom wanted me to do. After visiting the Philippines a few weeks ago, I can understand why, but also know that there are a lot more careers out there than just engineering where I can be just as successful. And while I could have switched anytime, I kind of choose to do it...hoping and thinking that maybe...maybe this will be good enough for her. Nothing I did ever was...so 3 years into it, I had already taken a lot of the classes...I just decided to stick it out, and just do it to get the degree. I did like bits, pieces, and parts of it, but never really whole-heartdly...And I also hated all the stigma and other things associated with engineering...all the fights, phone calls, twisting their words around, trying to get them to say things. But when I finally finished, I was told that I didn't make enough money. After that, I pretty much had it.
I started doing research on different schools, degree programs, and started really learning about the industry...little by little. Sure, there's some stuff that scares me...but lately I've been realizing that no matter what I've done...it's always turned out ok. There never was anything that I've completely failed at. And this tv thing will be no different. I ended up choosing a community college for a few reasons...first it's cheaper than a university, i can learn from people who probably still work in the industry (and not just academia), and really learn skills...so much of a university is theory, but I really prefer skills...I've also had good experiences with community colleges in the past, so I thought that this would be a good first route. And I'm actually right...I've never been this happy or this successful at school (with the exception of high school).
I told some of this to both of my parents today, and they agree with me. They want me to do it full time, and just be done with it...but I like the way that things are going. I like being able to both engineering and this tv thing. I do understand their point, and am considering it, but I really like doing it on my own...I just appreciate it more.
After being with my parents for the weekend, I think that the relationship with my parents is improving. Slowly, but steady. You know how I always say that I've always made up for my past? In high school, I made up for junior high, in college, i made up for high school, and now...I'm making up for college, by really doing something that I've wanted to do. I think that maybe...my parents are making up for our past relationship. I'm going to let them do it, they are trying...so we will just see what happens.
I know I'm still trying to figure out a lot of stuff, but I feel now that I am moving closer and closer to the right path.
So this mother's day...my relationship with my mom is improving...and I can't complain about that.
more later
-arjay