From "Lying Joe" Ma's Heart, Right to Your iPod.
Taipei's Rapid Transit Cooperation has just lobbed a giant lump of cash into that swirling, zero-sum vortex known as PR. As if the citizens of Taipei needed more incentive to ride the MRT, The TRTC is going balls-out in a incomprehensible move to promote it.
Check out this crappy song they put together. (The song itself is there, but it takes a little while to download.) It's got singing children, druggy synth-lines, and a moving guitar solo that could bring Huey Lewis to his knees, weeping openly and professing his hatred for his father.
The variety of Chinese used is a bit poetic. With the help of my dictionary, and my limited knowledge of Chinese, I've attempted to translate it, here. (I'm sorry that I couldn't give it some kind of rhyme scheme.)
I feel safe
riding the MRT
because the premises
are under constant
auspicious surveillance
and the threat
of being maliciously accosted
by a pederast foreigner
is harmoniously minimal.
I feel safe
riding the MRT
because alert, well-intentioned men with
orange illuminated batons
direct the passengers
on the escalator
and in my heart I know
I will not have my hair
ripped from head
in an embarrassing
and excruciatingly painful
bloody escalator mishap.
We feel proper
and esteemed
on Taipei's
Metropolitan Rapid Transit System
We feel safe
and well-looked-after
In the event
of an airstrike
by an oppressive foreign power
We know we are safe
huddled in the bowels
of Taipei's
Metropolitan Rapid Transit System
It has been
over two years
since those two shameless men
were caught having
sexual intercourse
in the restroom
at the Zhongshan Middle School stop
This is a proper
and esteemed
Rapid Transit System
unlike the Rapid Transit System
of Hong Kong
It's a little choppy, at points, I know, but there's the gist of it.
For all you unemployed ethnomusicologists, out there, here's the theme song for The Detroit People Mover, for the purposes of a comparative study.
Take a ride, motherfucker.