The Boomerang Student
Back when I first started teaching K1B, my very first semester, I had a kid in the class named Victor. He was a bit older than the other children, his brow was a little more pronounced, he had a jutting chin, and he was loud. Loud.
Victor and I had a great deal of problems that first year. He was the first student I ever dragged out of a classroom.
When I met his mother for the first time, I said to her "He tries to find out just what exactly he can get away with."
She laughed. All of the other mothers came dressed up. Lots of make-up. Perfume. Dolled up, I'd say. Not her. She was in sweatpants and a t-shirt. She'd just returned from London. She had her son's face. Her son's smile. She showed it and laughed.
"He gets that from me."
We got along swimmingly. I only wish I had that kind of relationship with all of my students' parents.
When I met his sister, I found out why everyone--all the men, at least--were so nice to the family.
Well, he's in my second grade now.
Today, I got worked up and started raining fire and brimstone down on the kids. I've got a pretty nasty side. I've got it in me to scare children. I don't like doing so. I don't want anyone to be afraid of me, really. But these kids. . . Six ten year old boys. They can bring it up out of you like a shot of cod-oil and whiskey.
I tell them "You're going to straighten up now, or I'm going to start throwing out minuses like candy at Christmas!"
We have a system of rewards and demerits based on accumulating plusses and minuses. There are two teams. At the end of ever two weeks, the team with the most plusses gets a forty minute vacation. The enterprise is worth the trouble solely for the public shame factor. That really works.
Anyhow, the kids didn't quite get what I was saying. None of them except Victor. He explained that at Christmas, "Candy fall from the sky," and everyone made grabbing gestures with both hands while bellowing "Yay!" at the top of their lungs. "And Mr. Hudson give we minusses for shouting like Santa Claus!"
Well, they got it.
Later on, we were talking about exclamations and commands. We were looking in the grammar book and following the story of a little boy who lost his jacket and then got scared at the thought of being cold. Then, he met a GIRL who had his jacket. He was surprised, and then angry.
I was taking suggestions for what a possible exclamation or command the angry little boy could use and Victor says "Give me my jacket or I will kiss your ji(3) ji(2)."
Which boils down to the boy in the story telling the girl "Give me my jacket or I will kiss your penis."
Which was so fucked up I didn't even know where to begin and so I grabbed him by the collar and yanked him out of his seat.