I Need A God Damn Cup Of Coffee
I no longer have a 5th period. My day has basically been extended a full hour. Which in all honesty is just as crazy and refreshing as Go Gurt. Go Gurt is crazy and refreshing.
I was contemplating last night how long my days usually are, and it turns our I usually get between four or five hours of sleep. Its been that way for about a year now. And do you know why? I feel like I waste too much time sleeping, so I stay awake until I absolutely cannot take it anymore.
I have never really had a problem actually going to sleep, and once I'm gone I won't be awakened until a startling, loud noise hits.
Now I am wondering what the hell it is I do with the rest of those nineteen hours in my day, because every night I really don't feel as if I have done anything worthy to recollect of my teenagedom when I'm older. Not to say I feel like I've wasted my time....I just know the same mundane pattern in my weekdays makes me think I don't use my time wisely enough, and I'm not achieving as much as I think I should.
Everyone thinks that. I think its the perfectionists that it really kills though.
What the fuck have I become? I used to be unorganized, sloppy and not so god damn stressed about things that don't really matter. I knew what mattered then, and now I feel like everything matters and that just can't be so.
I find myself alphabetizing my CD collection for 45 minutes; placing them in catagories such as "cd's I've actually bought" (they go towads the front of my cd case) and then by "CD's I've burned that basically don't have as pretty of covers as the rest" (which go towards the back).
Plus, I probably wash my hands over twenty times a day because I am constantly smelling them to find out if they seem 'germy'. I would rather slit my throat that have sticky fingers, I cannot fucking stand it. And I will get cranky.
I like to walk around in my socks though.
I really don't even know what I am talking about acutally, just trying to make time pass because I have nothing to do in Newspaper right now. And that is completely ironic considering my first few paragraphs on how I feel about wasting time.