(no subject)
I think confronting the most vulnerable parts of yourself- to come into contact with such complex sensitivities is only what brave people do. And I am the biggest coward I know, for fear that I might be introduced to the inability to fix whatever that is hurting - to do the work of reconstruction after a personal unravelling and the constant struggle to explain its blueprint with people around. Especially with those who you want to impress. Like hey potential partner, I got you because I got my shit together. Like what is sexier than someone who has their imperfections under control while still being a work in progress? Oh so you've gone through some episodes that nearly broke you but yet you're here with me, engaging with a stranger who might break you for real this time. No? Yes. Break me, so what? You get back up one more time. The courage in knowing that the reward you get is a wiser you - instead of focusing on the hurting you - is only the preface of the said work. And so far, it's not easy, oh my god it's not.