Reflection
Twenty Years Ago (1987): I was living with my parents in our house in Ontario, having just moved from Pomona (I think we moved during 1987, actually). My earliest real memory is from about this time. I remember being in my grandparents' backyard, and my mother looked at me and said "Are your eyes crossed?" Several optometrist visits later, I ended up having a surgery on my right eye, where they cut some of the muscle out of one side so that muscle would be weaker. (More recently I found out that they did a slightly too good job.) They did something weird though, and I couldn't open my eyes for several hours afterwards. I remember this vividly, because that night was the television premier of The Princess Bride. I managed to get one eye open for the last 20 minutes or so, but most of the movie was just hearing it.
Fifteen Years Ago (1992): Still living in Ontario. Started 4th grade at Arroyo Elementary School, Ms. McGrath. (Holy shit, I remember that?) This is the year where I pretty much gave up on Christianity and started looking at many alternatives. My parents divorced around this year (actually I think the year prior?). It was weird though. I always hear people describe having their parents divorce and all the emotional turmoil, and wondering whether they had caused it. When my parents sat me down with the shrink or whatever the fuck he was to explain what was happening and that it wasn't my fault, I remember thinking "Of course it's not my fault. Why would it be? They fight, and are tired of it, so they're splitting up. Can I go home yet?" This is also the first year that I was aware of politics. I remember Clinton playing the sax, and admitting that he "did not inhale". I also remember an in-class discussion about the election, and when the teacher asked for opinions, this boy Casey said that his dad thought Clinton was a "snake in the grass". I remember wondering why he had to resort to using the opinions of others. (Of course, I had no opinion myself, but then, I didn't express any.)
Ten Years Ago (1997): Finishing 8th Grade at Upland Jr. High and starting high school at Cajon in San Bernardino. Amazed to find that a school might have people who enjoyed the same things I did. Also started having sex qua sex, rather than experimentation, although I didn't get my first girlfriend until the February following. We'd just lost our house in Ontario, my mom had just married Shaggie. My dad was trying to make up for the lack of his presence when I was younger, and it was backfiring dramatically. I spent most of the summer on restriction. My three siblings had been born by this point, and my dad had almost convinced Jen to marry him finally. I think they ended up getting married in 1998, although I don't recall having been present for it, so I'm not sure.
Five Years Ago (2002): I'd just turned 18 at the end of 2001, followed 5 days later by 9-11. A lot of upheaval around then, until the end of the year. When 2002 started, my mom and I were living with my aunt, and we were working for RGIS. We got our own apartment in February. We also finally got the proceeds of the lawsuit against the owner of our former apartments. I bought my first computer that was actually mine with it, which I systematically upgraded over time. I *think* I've pretty much upgraded everything out of it. The monitor was the last piece I swapped out last year. My grandmother died in April, and I took my turn along with the others in staying up with her, that last week. She didn't want to be left alone. I and my uncle Dale with with her during her last night, holding her hands the whole time. It was so very frustrating to not be able to do anything more than that. Beyond that, it was a pretty boring year, as far as I recall.
Now (2007): Living and working with my dad now, but really, really ready to get out on my own. Not really enjoying my job at the moment, but as soon as I get the rest of this caught up, I can pass off most of it and maybe focus on more technical stuff. Besides that, though, I have more friends now than I've ever had in my life, and it's awesome. Even in high school I only had maybe 3-4 "friends". A bunch of people I knew and would talk to at school, but not that many that I'd still hang out with outside of school. And I kept losing friends because of girls. :-/
Fifteen Years Ago (1992): Still living in Ontario. Started 4th grade at Arroyo Elementary School, Ms. McGrath. (Holy shit, I remember that?) This is the year where I pretty much gave up on Christianity and started looking at many alternatives. My parents divorced around this year (actually I think the year prior?). It was weird though. I always hear people describe having their parents divorce and all the emotional turmoil, and wondering whether they had caused it. When my parents sat me down with the shrink or whatever the fuck he was to explain what was happening and that it wasn't my fault, I remember thinking "Of course it's not my fault. Why would it be? They fight, and are tired of it, so they're splitting up. Can I go home yet?" This is also the first year that I was aware of politics. I remember Clinton playing the sax, and admitting that he "did not inhale". I also remember an in-class discussion about the election, and when the teacher asked for opinions, this boy Casey said that his dad thought Clinton was a "snake in the grass". I remember wondering why he had to resort to using the opinions of others. (Of course, I had no opinion myself, but then, I didn't express any.)
Ten Years Ago (1997): Finishing 8th Grade at Upland Jr. High and starting high school at Cajon in San Bernardino. Amazed to find that a school might have people who enjoyed the same things I did. Also started having sex qua sex, rather than experimentation, although I didn't get my first girlfriend until the February following. We'd just lost our house in Ontario, my mom had just married Shaggie. My dad was trying to make up for the lack of his presence when I was younger, and it was backfiring dramatically. I spent most of the summer on restriction. My three siblings had been born by this point, and my dad had almost convinced Jen to marry him finally. I think they ended up getting married in 1998, although I don't recall having been present for it, so I'm not sure.
Five Years Ago (2002): I'd just turned 18 at the end of 2001, followed 5 days later by 9-11. A lot of upheaval around then, until the end of the year. When 2002 started, my mom and I were living with my aunt, and we were working for RGIS. We got our own apartment in February. We also finally got the proceeds of the lawsuit against the owner of our former apartments. I bought my first computer that was actually mine with it, which I systematically upgraded over time. I *think* I've pretty much upgraded everything out of it. The monitor was the last piece I swapped out last year. My grandmother died in April, and I took my turn along with the others in staying up with her, that last week. She didn't want to be left alone. I and my uncle Dale with with her during her last night, holding her hands the whole time. It was so very frustrating to not be able to do anything more than that. Beyond that, it was a pretty boring year, as far as I recall.
Now (2007): Living and working with my dad now, but really, really ready to get out on my own. Not really enjoying my job at the moment, but as soon as I get the rest of this caught up, I can pass off most of it and maybe focus on more technical stuff. Besides that, though, I have more friends now than I've ever had in my life, and it's awesome. Even in high school I only had maybe 3-4 "friends". A bunch of people I knew and would talk to at school, but not that many that I'd still hang out with outside of school. And I kept losing friends because of girls. :-/