(no subject)
I really don't want to go to my stats class anymore, and apparently I can't switch it. I already paid for the class and I really don't feel like losing any more money this year. My ex picked my classes and I thought that after she dumped me she'd switch out all the classes we were going to share. I don't want out because I hate her. I guess I still kinda, maybe love her a tinsy little bit even after all the horrible things she did to me. Hell, when I heard she was moving in with the old guy she's dating now I honestly thought, "It should've been me."
I just don't know what to do.
Over the past few days my body thought it would be a good idea to expel everything ingested into my body as quickly and as painfully as possible. I asked why, knowing I hadn't eaten anything.... at all... that day to cause sickness, but he just laughed. I suppose he was laughing because at the beginning of the horrible purge my toilet broke and the only way to flush away my shame was to either pour a lot of water into the front or reach into the back and pull the little suction thingy up.
Y'know, maybe, just maybe, this year is just a big test to see how resilient to suicide attempts.
I just don't know what to do.
Over the past few days my body thought it would be a good idea to expel everything ingested into my body as quickly and as painfully as possible. I asked why, knowing I hadn't eaten anything.... at all... that day to cause sickness, but he just laughed. I suppose he was laughing because at the beginning of the horrible purge my toilet broke and the only way to flush away my shame was to either pour a lot of water into the front or reach into the back and pull the little suction thingy up.
Y'know, maybe, just maybe, this year is just a big test to see how resilient to suicide attempts.