(no subject)

[riyirowe]

So. I feel so fucking stupid. And I am fucking pissed. So, I didn't have as much money last paycheck as I needed, and I knew that. But I knew that I could manage going overdrawn a little so I planned for that. My loan rehabilitation comes out of my checking account automatically every month on the 28th, and that was the thing I was going to let myself go overdrawn on. Anyway, I used my card until that day, and possibly a couple of times on the 29th. But for some stupid reason the payment was pulled on the 26th and I ended up going overdrawn then instead of later. And that meant I ended up with somerwhere along the lines of twelve overdraft charges and three extended overdraft fees. So, even though we got a fucking nice bonus this paycheck (my normal check is around $525 and this one was over $750) I ended up with a grand total of $176 dollars in the bank. I am pissed that they took the money early. But I am more pissed with myself because I am so fucking irresponsible with my money, that I don't pay more attention to how much money I have, and that I don't pay more attention to what goes through when.

Luckily, I worked two weekends for my dad at the mobile home park and that gave me an extra $230, but still. I was really looking forward to using that bonus to not only make a little headway on my bills, but also maybe buy something nice for myself.

And you know what the worst part about it is? This whole thing makes me want to go and recklessly spend all my money right now. Because that is what I do when I don't feel great about myself. I buy clothes and books.

And I am listening to Chopin.