He's Put A Team Together

[rix_scaedu]

I wrote this to aldersprig's 12th prompt "A long-cold-to-each-other pair who once loved each other are brought together by a quest."  This is followed by Then They Started Making A Plan.

“Spatelli!”  The screeching, auburn haired sell-sword looked magnificent but now was not the time to tell her that.  “You told me you were going to get Tarrascotti for this

Comments

[anonymous]

What a fun beginning! I hope they get to annoy each other lots and lots. The names are neat, I enjoyed sounding them out to myself with exaggerated accents.

I think the last line has a typo though.

-Friendly Anon

[rix_scaedu]

I have author's blindness. I've had a look at the last line and I can't see it. What am I missing?

But it is a fun beginning, isn't it?

[kelkyag]

Last like: s/if/of/

[rix_scaedu]

Thank you, fixed.

[anonymous]

Kelkyag got it: "if" should be "of"

After staring at that line longer than normal I wonder if it would flow better when rephrased like:

In her hands the wooden trencher Capalini had emptied of its olives snapped in half as she crossed the room.

But that's a style choice more than a typo fix =)

Thanks again for writing these stories. I think that the November prompt call yielded some of the most intriguing new universes yet!

-Friendly Anon

[rix_scaedu]

Thank you for that, I will fix it now.

This story is a return to a universe I haven't visited for a few months. Try the tarrascotti or trideian links if you want to read some more.